Thread: Who Suffers From Mental Illness?

I've had depression and anxiety since I was around 6 years old (likely due to trauma during that time), both reaching their peak at 12. Back then it was ridiculously severe where I was also pretty badly agoraphobic and would end up having panic attacks frequently and as a child I would cry a lot and be punished for it.

Things have gotten a lot better since then but I've been relapsing a lot lately...(especially now after a pretty bad incident online)

I also have Asperger's and while it's not a mental illness it has done a good job at augmenting the problems. I also developed multiple sclerosis 2 years ago, which also serves to make things worse and there are days when I literally can't function (getting in the way of work, among other things) and don't even have the energy or will to exist. I try to be strong and deal with this, most people can't even tell anything is wrong with me nowadays so that's a good thing, but it's so difficult. I'm trying so hard though...because of all these issues I don't think I'll ever be able to fulfill my goals in life. It's also been brought to my attention from people who have it that it's likely I have PTSD as well, though I always assumed all that stuff was part of the depression/anxiety thing. I'm scared to talk about that with my therapist because I don't want any more diagnoses...

I guess though, due to all the problems I've had, I'm very understanding and empathetic to other peoples pain. It makes me so sad to see people suffer and I want to do all I can to help them.

I have a weird variety of conditions. I don't have agoraphobia per se but usually the opposite, I stay indoors a lot and only go out much for drinks, groceries, or the occasional dining. Yet when I'm in closed space and being watched, I feel frustrated as hell.

I get depressed quite often, too, but usually for understandable reasons. I also couldn't go more than 6 hours without looking at porn until only just last year.

I have been diagnosed as having some form of schizophrenia (forgot the exact name unfortunately) as well have having hallucinations of people who don't really exist for a few years now. They each seem to represent parts of my personality and they give running commentary on things that occur and they're generally very pessimistic. It wasn't until recently that I've learned how tolerate them and even subdue them to some degree. It isn't easy, but I can now actually go about everyday things without a constant niggling in the form of a voice or "person". It has been said that I can still go on to do what I want to (a teacher), but it wil be a lot more difficult to get accepted into that position. Most likely reason these came about was because of my over-thinking of Philosophy.

The side-effect of having them comes at a cost though. I've essentially lost whatever amount of emotions I may have had. I very rarely laugh (and even then, it sounds sorta twisted and lasts a very short time) and can only cry when thinking back on things that occurred before I had these things start happening: if someone dies close to me now, I just can't feel sad or emotional. I can be expressive on the internet, but I'll seldom be feeling what I actually put in terms of emoticons and stuff. Face-to-face, I am very much the stoic as my friends often allude to when I give a dead-straight face to something hilarious, amazingly good or sad.

Lately, my anxiety has been getting worse. I find that it's been triggered due to the news and world related events. Those type of things give me a feeling of impending doom and even have driven me to "hearing voices" in my head telling me that if i killed myself, I'd be at peace. I hear voices in my head when I have high anxiety.

I need to come clean about something though. For years, I've always imagined anime characters/RP characters/Made-up characters/Pokemon as if they were real and that they were my friends, they sympathized with me in my sadness, were happy when I was happy, etc. I even imagined out RP scenarios where I would imagine that I would date a said character (they were male). It was like, I was trying to live my RP fantasies out or something. I still deal with it. When I'm at work, I imagine that the One Piece characters are working with me at work and giving me company. This mostly happens when I'm alone. I was scared to admit this because I was afraid that people would label me as a freak, a psycho, etc.

Originally Posted by Octy

Lately, my anxiety has been getting worse. I find that it's been triggered due to the news and world related events. Those type of things give me a feeling of impending doom and even have driven me to "hearing voices" in my head telling me that if i killed myself, I'd be at peace. I hear voices in my head when I have high anxiety.

I need to come clean about something though. For years, I've always imagined anime characters/RP characters/Made-up characters/Pokemon as if they were real and that they were my friends, they sympathized with me in my sadness, were happy when I was happy, etc. I even imagined out RP scenarios where I would imagine that I would date a said character (they were male). It was like, I was trying to live my RP fantasies out or something. I still deal with it. When I'm at work, I imagine that the One Piece characters are working with me at work and giving me company. This mostly happens when I'm alone. I was scared to admit this because I was afraid that people would label me as a freak, a psycho, etc.

Holy crap, lol. I know what that's like, I used to be unable to formulate a fluent sentence without shivering or feeling like my personal space was invaded about 7 years ago. It was hard and I quit school for almost 4 years because of it....

No imaginary friends for me tho, but I know I want superpowers all the time.

I suffer from depression, anxiety, BDP and EDNOS.

I was hospitalized twice earlier this year because of my self harm but ever since I started taking my meds again, my depression has greatly improved. My anxiety is still fighting though, but even then, I do feel better. I'm seeing a therapist twice a week to work on my EDNOS and self harm.

I feel much, much better. Even I can't believe it.

Anyone who feels like they need someone to talk to, I'm can be a little antisocial sometimes, but I'm always there to help.

Just remember, NEVER GIVE UP!

Personality disorder, severe depression, and bipolar.

It's been eating me alive for... four years. Ever since I started college, to when I dropped out, to where I am now. I have a hard time identifying who, or what I am as a human being. I desperately want to give up, because I can't force myself to make anymore friends than I already do. My romantic relationships always go down the drain, and I've been hospitalized three times for manic episodes, not counting the times where I've cut myself and not said anything about it being self-inflicted.

I always daydream about other realities, but unable to imagine myself happy, or free from this awful darkness known as "mental illness." I even try to live out my fantasies in RPs. So yeah, a lot of crap.

I suffer from the ADHD, OCD, Tourettes Triangle and Asperger's Syndrome.

After over 15 years of being medicated, as of last June I am no longer medicated. Yes, I'm not taking meds anymore, but guess what? I'm just fine, in fact maybe even better off without them.

for me, i suffer from sensory processing dysfunction/disorder (commonly misdiagnosed as either adhd or a form of autism) which means i have very hypersensitive to the main senses. the symptoms vary from person to person, and i am part of the group that is very sensitive to touch. i dont like the feel of clothes sometimes (typically jeans or anything not downright soft), im sensitive to heat (which is pretty bad considering i live in florida) and absolutely refuse to go outside if it is terribly hot, but probably one of the most affecting parts of this disorder is my hypersensitivity to touch. i absolutely cannot cuddle with someone, or let someone touch me if i dont trust them with my whole life. touching me results in yelling, aggravated groans, and if you do it by surprise i can lash out rather violently by slapping or punching. recently i've been a bit angry at one of my friends because ever since i told her about this condition, she constantly aggravates me by tickling and touching me at the most inappropriate of times, causing squeaks and screams and other vocalizations from me and everyone around me laughs (it's so humiliating). even after telling her several times to stop, she still does it and its nearly making me lose my head, and i almost hit her once when she did it.

another thing this disorder does is cause me to be hypersensitive on an emotional level, which means i can get frustrated easily and cry over the silliest of things. i was a constant target for bullying in elementary school and middle school and sometimes still even in high school. i dont remember a time when i wasnt bullied, actually. ive been called a whole slur of names that still trigger me to this day. whats worse is that not a lot of people know about this disorder because it's so rare and some people dont even think it's a real disorder, and most of the time it is misdiagnosed. ive been diagnosed since i was six years old, but i possibly had it before then because of all the learning disabilities i had from it (i have terrible motor skills and i am awfully clumsy, often tripping over nothing and running into things all the time. im covered in bruises because of it and i have had people pull me to the side and ask me if i was abused by my peers/parents)

it's a really terrible condition to live with and because of it i have developed other mental disorders, including my depression and anxiety. my anxiety is absolutely awful and is the main cause of my insomnia because im usually up all night worrying about various things and ive had countless breakdowns and have gotten into self-harm and substance abuse. ive attempted suicide three times. just today i was in my bed for the majority of the day crying and worrying about school and work.

honestly its pretty hard to function normally for me everyday just because of these disorders. its definitely not fun and whenever someone tells me "oh i understand" i get angry because no, they dont. i also get angry when someone says someone else has it worse than me because everyone has their own problems and its not a contest to see whos more emotionally drained than the other. another pet peeve is when people romanticize mental disorders, or worse, claim theyre schizophrenic or "insane" when they havent been properly diagnosed.

tl;dr mental disorders suck

I don't know to what degree it qualifies, but I have avoidant personality disorder. That doubt might be a result of the disorder. In either case, it's a small miracle that I'm posting this at all. It feels like my doing so would be both wrong and reprehensible. Hell, it feels like everything I do is wrong and/or offensive to someone, somehow.

While I haven't been officially diagnosed, I've read several articles about the condition, and almost all of the symptoms sound all too familiar. Constantly feeling inadequate and socially incapable, phases of powerful self-loathing, debilitating shyness and social anxiety, and escapism through fantasy and fiction...It all sounds like me in a nutshell. I can't help but feel that I've missed out on so many opportunities in my life so far because of it, and I'll only go on to miss out on more, since I just can't bring myself to do anything about it.

I guarantee that I'll regret posting this, because it feels like I'm burdening everyone else with my problems, and my problems don't matter because they're mine, and I don't matter.