Some kind of bonding I don't understand...
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    A E I Own You. PikachuColoredPichu's Avatar
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    Default Some kind of bonding I don't understand...

    Why do male friends, even the best of friends, regularly insult each other?
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    Team Rocket Executive Kadabra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Some kind of bonding I don't understand...

    I suppose it's a way to display confidence in the friendship. For example, you wouldn't insult someone with whom you have no close friendship, as you wouldn't be sure if they could interpret it as you meaning them harm. When you jokingly insult a friend, there is the expectation that you don't have actual ill intent and that they won't be offended--precisely because you are friends.

    Of course, it's one of those things that you have to do carefully, else you could cross a line and actually offend the friend.

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    Default Re: Some kind of bonding I don't understand...

    ^ That's exactly it, showing confidence and in some cases they have silent agreement of using black humor about each other/everyone in the group. Permission to say harsh things is not only mark of confidence but also a sign of trust; I think not many men like to be around people who are too sensitive of their words. In my experience females get much more confused from such behavior as they're not used to playful insulting or testing someone's confidence.

    When it comes to real insulting and challenging, the difference can be noted. However, fights caused by misunderstandings can happen.
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    Default Re: Some kind of bonding I don't understand...

    It doesn't just happen with male friends, it can happen with female friends too. My friends and I occasionally insult each other on purpose to make each other laugh. We know we'd never actually say such things about each other.
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    Default Re: Some kind of bonding I don't understand...

    Insults are also a way of competing with each other. Whoever takes offense is the loser, usually due to claims of it showing them to be immature. It helps guys get used to being insulted and sometimes outlines the boundaries of acceptable behavior (i.e. a guy who always gets offended by insults about a family member or a certain aspect of their person).

    And it's hardly a male-only thing. I've had numerous female friends who latched onto it quickly.

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    Garchomp takeover! LordGarcholf's Avatar
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    Default Re: Some kind of bonding I don't understand...

    ^ That's true btw.
    Females often get upset about it easier, but that's how social enviroment and personalities we develop during growth affec, doesn't mean there are no females who don't do this naturally or can't handle it. There are also males who can become extremely emotional about jokingly insults. Might be finnish culture or people I've observed in my younghood, correct if I'm wrong.

    For older people or immature/young people this is the most visible case, they can't handle it. My parents for example are very sensitive to such jokes or some younger friends I had made - it ended up arguing about everything.

    The different communication methods affect also. How many of us react the same way on the internet as we do during face-to-face situation? On the internet it's harder to see a jokingly insult I think and well.. that's what makes many things go wrong easily. :D
    Last edited by LordGarcholf; 12th May 2015 at 04:42 AM.
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    I'm really feeling it Lysson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Some kind of bonding I don't understand...

    Like everyone has said before, it's a sign of trust. All those who I am close to have a generic insult (it's never a specific insult or that is hurtful) fest. I only banter with those who I trust and I know when and when not to use the generic insult.

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    Default Re: Some kind of bonding I don't understand...

    Well, my family and best friends never pick on me...maybe that's why I love them a lot.

    Of course, the fact that I have high-functioning autism might be why I have really sensitive feelings...
    Last edited by Kakuna Matata; 14th June 2015 at 02:32 AM.
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    Default Re: Some kind of bonding I don't understand...

    I've had horrible memories of a situation backfiring on me when I was younger, and I've never been able to take playful insults as jokes. I'm pretty sure there are other ways to display love and friendship without having to potentially hurt other people's feelings. When a group of guys screech insults at each other in public and laugh it off all together... it comes off as rather disturbing and confusing.
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    Default Re: Some kind of bonding I don't understand...

    I would definitely agree that males are more vitriolic around each other than females (though of course I have to be one or the other so I can't know that for sure), and I think it's because being able to take a potentially offensive remark in stride is a sign of toughness; I mean, we even tell each other to "take it like a man". I do it all the time, and although I sometimes have a problem with not being able to handle what I dish out, I realize that my friends are just giving me a taste of my own medicine, so I don't hold it against them. I can't be offended if my friend calls me a "neckbeard hippie" if I just called them a "fat bastard". To be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'd rather be friends with guys who can laugh at their own shortcomings than a bunch of wimps who want me to put "trigger warning" before everything I say.

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