Thread: Relationships where the girl is older than the guy

I've been thinking about these. I have a new girlfriend who is about eight months older than me. Some people find it kind of weird, but I tell then that it's normal. It has happened a number of times in my family as well. One of my aunts is 7 years older than her husband, and they'rve got it good. But then again, you hear about stormy cougar-type relationships like that of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, which end in break-ups. Both the older woman and the younger man get flak. After all, society expects the man to be the older partner in a married couple. But women have been marrying younger men for thousands of years, so that is very well-established as well.

Any of you been in a relationship like this?

I haven't been in that kind of relationship, but I think age is only that big of a deal during adolescence. You can notice differences between a thirteen-year-old girl and a fifteen-year-old girl most of the time. It's not as easy to tell the differences between a thiry-seven-year-old woman and a thirty-nine-year-old one, and since the same goes for men, age in general loses importance after young adulthood. My dad was born nearly a decade before my mom, but it wasn't really all that noticeable. So what I'm trying to get at is that having a girl who's seven months older than you might attract attention at your age, but it won't mean anything once and if you two reach a latter age demographic. The only girlfriend I've had thus far was almost a year younger than me, but I doubt it would've mattered much later on if she were the one older than me.

I think the idea that men have to be older than their girlfriends or wives stems from societal roles. You know, like how men are supposed to make the money and women should stay at home and do housework? There's no reason real reason for it, it's just this idea some people have set in their minds. I believe it's also based on studies of things women prefer in men. Taller, older, handsome, whatever. It's not what everyone thinks, just a majority. But honestly, there's not any REAL issues with a girl being older than her boyfriend or husband.

I did date this guy who was about a year younger than me, and things fell apart because he had serious personal problems unrelated to his age that he couldn't work out. We were teenagers, so I don't think it'd hold much of a candle to any adult relationships. The biggest thing is maturity. There are mature teenagers, and there are also really immature adults. It really just depends on chemistry, not how many days they've been alive.

Age doesn't really have anything to do with it. It's about the love you share between each other and the chemistry, take it from me, my wife is 29 and I'm almost 24.

Sure the age gap presents some interesting situations, like people thinking I'm her son?!? (I look 16 without a Beard) LOL. We kinda just laugh this stuff off.

This is all assuming both parties are of legal age. It all gets sketchy and diluted when someone aged 15etc is with someone much older.

Yes, most of my boyfriends were younger than me. I didn't care though. I think as long as the age gap isn't too large, I think the relationship could work. While I think age doesn't make that much of a difference in a relationship, I wouldn't allow a 13 year old girl to date a 26 year old man and vice versa.

But in my relationships where I dated a younger guy, it feel apart. It wasn't because of the age, but other personal matters.

It's getting more and more common. I haven't dated an older girl, but I wouldn't have problems, except by the fact most older women I know are already graduate and working on their profession, while I'm still studying (I delayed my studies because of personal problems). That's kinda embarrasing, specially when money issues come out: going out, dinning, watching a movie, etc. Indeed, some months ago I flirted with a girl of my university, a year younger. For some reasons we didn't date, however the next time I saw her, she was working on her thesis and from the attitude I noticed now she was totally out of my league. On the other hand, I have a friend who is dating a women five years older; however since she's rather youthful and entered late to university, it's like they were the same age.

Actually, I think the important thing is the maturity level. My parents were 18 years apart (my dad older), however they were closer because my dad had a young spirit and my mom was more mature and serious for her age.

i think it's stupid to assume that the female has to be younger than the male, or that they have to be the same age (or only a year or two apart or so)
i believe that stereotyping people based on their gender like that is stupid. does it really matter that the guy is younger? does it really affect what happens in the relationship? no. i really don't understand the hate on that.

also, my parents personally are like 6 years apart. they're divorced, but that's not the reason- they were just incompatible and mainly stayed together because "WHOOPS MADE A BABY," and i understand that 50-year-old men shouldn't creep on little kids that can't decide things like that. but hell, if a 20-year-old woman that is mentally sound wants to marry some 70-year-old, who are we to deny her? it's none of our business, and it sucks that she's likely to be a widow early, but she knows that, and she's willing to spend all of the time she can with him.

age doesn't make a person. nor does a gender.

again, just my opinion.

My last girlfriend was eight years older than me and my current girlfriend is three years older than me. Age was never an issue with either of these fantastic women I had the honour of sharing part of my life with. We clicked as human beings and built a relationship. Age, race, creed, colour and anything else people can think of as a means of dividing and labelling people... all that stuff only has as much meaning as you allow it to have.

Do what you want. Be with who you want. Strive only for happiness, knowledge and equality.

I think the stigma is based on sexism. The older person is often seen as the one in power by outsiders, and people don't like the idea that women could be the ones in power in a heterosexual relationship.

Anyway, eight months is not a very big deal, even during adolescence.

My one and only relationship was with a guy who was three years my junior. It wasn't an issue, but then, the relationship only lasted for a few months and ended for reasons that had nothing to do with our respective ages.

My crush is younger, but I'm not sure by how much. Unfortunately, nothing will come of it.

A teacher had once told me that it's more logical for a woman to marry a guy around 8 years younger than her. She said it was because women have a life-span that's 8 years longer than the men, so taking the average life-span into account, it's the longest way the couple can be together.

Of course, that's only statistically speaking. Age doesn't really matter when it comes to love. Of course, too much age difference will matter if it's between a child and an adult. But when it's between two adults or so - one being 25, one being 40 - then I don't see any problem with it.

It's weird that your girlfriend is less than a year older? My girlfriend is three years older. There's nothing wrong about that. Excepting all situations where there is a grossly huge difference in age, age really shouldn't be that big of a factor in a relationship (also excepting minors). If you care enough about a person and then they return your affections, it shouldn't matter if there's a few years difference in your age or not.

Originally Posted by Jo The Marten

I think the idea that men have to be older than their girlfriends or wives stems from societal roles. You know, like how men are supposed to make the money and women should stay at home and do housework? There's no reason real reason for it, it's just this idea some people have set in their minds. I believe it's also based on studies of things women prefer in men. Taller, older, handsome, whatever. It's not what everyone thinks, just a majority. But honestly, there's not any REAL issues with a girl being older than her boyfriend or husband.

i also think part of it comes from historical situations like pre-19th century... all the way into antiquity.. men became husbands and fathers when they could support a family financially, but women became wives and mothers as soon as they were biologically capable of it. so a lot of the time you had a husband much older than the wife, or whatever.

personally, i find no problem with anyone in a relationship being much older, especially only eight months, that's hardly a difference. as long as it's not creepy (i.e. the younger person is really, really young) and the maturity of the people matches, go for it.

everyone i've dated has been older than me..but not really for any reason.

I'm older than my boyfriend by 8 months, which isn't much of a difference, but he's a school grade younger than me. So, he was still in high school when I went to college and a lot of people would make jokes about it, which bothered me a little. People (in my family even, mind you) called me things like a "cradle-robber". I'm not entirely sure if anyone thought it was weird, but they definitely gave us crap about it

I see no problem with it, as long as the age difference isn't ridiculously large

Does it count if my Girlfriend is only 5 months and 10 days older than me?