Official Love Advice Thread - Page 19

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Thread: Official Love Advice Thread

  1. #271
    A Liver Made Fullmetal Misato Katsuragi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Official Love Advice Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Jo The Marten View Post
    Stop worrying about love, Colonel. You've got to stop Scar and kill Homunculi. I'm sure your lady friend will understand.
    But what is more important than love, really? It makes the world go 'round!

    Hi, I'm Rose. I love music, alcohol, pointless Internet debates and being a snob about my choices in entertainment. I write a lot. You can read some of my writing at Autostraddle.com, the best site for LBTQ women on the Internet, where I am a staff writer. Or the funhouse that is my tumblr. I also write music sometimes, and post the better fruits of my labors on my SoundCloud.

  2. #272
    Dr. Heart Stealer Jo The Marten's Avatar Bulbanews WriterSocial Media EditorArchives StaffBulbapedia Editorial BoardModerator
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    Default Re: Official Love Advice Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Col. Roy Mustang View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jo The Marten View Post
    Stop worrying about love, Colonel. You've got to stop Scar and kill Homunculi. I'm sure your lady friend will understand.
    But what is more important than love, really?
    Protecting your country? Kind of hard to love if everyone's been killed.

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  3. #273
    A Liver Made Fullmetal Misato Katsuragi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Official Love Advice Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Jo The Marten View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Col. Roy Mustang View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jo The Marten View Post
    Stop worrying about love, Colonel. You've got to stop Scar and kill Homunculi. I'm sure your lady friend will understand.
    But what is more important than love, really?
    Protecting your country? Kind of hard to love if everyone's been killed.
    True, true. Well, I suppose she'll still be there when we fix everything. She's always one step behind me, protecting me.

    Hi, I'm Rose. I love music, alcohol, pointless Internet debates and being a snob about my choices in entertainment. I write a lot. You can read some of my writing at Autostraddle.com, the best site for LBTQ women on the Internet, where I am a staff writer. Or the funhouse that is my tumblr. I also write music sometimes, and post the better fruits of my labors on my SoundCloud.

  4. #274

    Default Re: Official Love Advice Thread

    There's this guy that I've been in a long distance relationship with, and it started off really good, but we ended up breaking up. We stayed really good friends, such good friends that there really wasn't any difference between how we interacted in a relationship and out of it. We ended up dating again, and it lasted for awhile, then I broke up with him because I didn't think I could deal with the distance anymore. But it was basically the same situation as before - broke up and yet stayed extremely close. He's even told me that we were basically dating but he didn't want to label it as a relationship because it seemed like things "screwed up" when we did that. So we're pretty much treating things as if we were in a relationship, but my issue is... if we're "basically dating" then why can't we just say that we are? I've asked him about this and he said that for some reason labeling it as a relationship doesn't work with us, and that we should just keep things the way they are because it works out better. I still really like him, and I (think) he still likes me (he acts like he does...), but if he won't just try an actual relationship with me again... I almost feel like I'm getting played. Should I ask him out again, or not? I'm afraid if I ask him again, and he says no that it'll ruin what we do have.

  5. #275
    Why so serious? Rival Silver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Official Love Advice Thread

    phew. alright, i've got a big one.

    okay, so, i've been in a sort of relationship for about a year and a half, now, though we've known each other for around two years. long-distance, yes, but we were pretty awesome if i do say so myself. we got along amazingly, still do get along really well. we talked all of the time, and we were actually friends, initially, unlike many who just start out having a relationship.

    oh, but did i mention he already was dating someone?
    and... did i mention that i knew that?

    now, i know that's a pretty shitty thing to do, especially since the person in question is someone i would like to call friend, but hear me out.

    he told me that they didn't get on very well, and that they were very different; and they are. she's scared of pretty much everything and needs to constantly be babied, she's not open at all, she's quite clingy, very lazy, rather lacking in emotion, weak, rather selfish, and probably more that i can't think of at this point. i don't hate her, though; not remotely. she's smart and can say funny things at times, although it's pretty hard to sustain a conversation.

    unlike her, however, he is rather curious, outgoing and independent, he's not super proactive but he'll do things if he realizes others need help, easy to sustain an intelligent conversation with for hours (there were many times i pulled all-nighters just to discuss things with him), and he's so giving it almost hurts me to watch how he'll bend over backwards for some people, like her.

    he himself has said a while back that if he lived with her, he'd be miserable. i agree. they're so different; he'd be angry, and he'd make her angry by being with him all the time - as he'd never leave, really. and she was offended when i got his phone number, and she knows nothing about this (again, shitty of me), but JUST FOR ME HAVING HIS PHONE NUMBER AND TALKING TO HIM? come on. a lot of people talk to each other on the phone, even if they are just friends. that is NOTHING to be upset over. and she can get upset pretty easily. again not like him, as he's super patient (and that's probably why he can put up with it). if she gets mad at that, i can't imagine how caged he'd be.

    anyway, back to the point. we talked all the time, and he actually came to visit in the summer; his mum came, however, so i only had two days with him. still, best of my life. however, it was around then that morality caught up, and he started to distance himself from me to be with her. fair enough; i'd started taking a lot of his time, a disproportionate amount, and he's technically with her anyway. so, yes, this would be fine, except he started not actively ignoring me, but making me less and less important. he's busy, though, and i know that. he has school and work, which sucks; but he spends anywhere from three to ten hours (depending on work etc) with her daily, and then talks over the internet with the both of us, provided he bothers to get on, for about another two or three hours on an average day - which is a little ridiculous; i mean, if you have that kind of time, surely you can call, right? he doesn't like calling when his parents are around because they're nosy, but he himself went on a walk once to talk to me, and also sometimes decides to talk to me for about fifteen, thirty minutes usually when he's driving to her house or the store, so that's not really an issue, i think.

    see, there's something you need to understand; when he was considering me over her, he said he'd try slowly weaning her of him. it didn't work, as she doesn't have any other friends where they are, so she got depressed. understandable, and i think it wasn't the best way to go about it. however, i think he's trying the same with me, and the thing is, i'm stronger than she is, plus he can't see me doing things like being depressed and crying into my pillow on occasions (yeah, i'm still a softy. deal with it - i wasn't like that until he came along :c )

    so i call him out on it and he'll start crying, because of a combination that he hates being yelled at and does legitimately feel bad. it's one of the reasons i hate doing this to him; i hate making him cry. he says he'll change - and he does, for a while, but then stops, and that's what's been going on recently.

    BUT THERE IS MORE TO THIS TALE because i know you'll say "he's playing you; move on"

    but we are not done yet, ladies and gentlemen.

    you see, he's gonna move in with her for college; they're going to a place where they have other friends. makes sense, you know? except they'll be living together, sharing an apartment. remember how both he and i have said that they'd be miserable together in the past? he's retconning it now. oh, boy. i think some chatlogs would be good here.



    there's also the issue of her needing to know about this whole affair thing. because on one and, red should know this because green will always know it and it'll probably make him uncomfortable and red'll likely sense it. plus many would argue that you should be open and red just deserves to know by default. the main reason i haven't said anything is i don't know what red will do. probably disown both green and myself, which we deserve, but red doesn't deserve it, and she might go ballistic. which she probably should. but the question is how far will she go? that's what i'm worried about. red does have friends, but not where she lives; they're gonna live around them when they go to university. i can't help that not until waiting until then, at least, will be catastrophic. green'd never forgive me, either. so you can kind of see how i'm deadlocked. plus there is that nagging selfishness that wants her out of the way, but that's not the main priority.


    so, to wrap it up - yes, it is partially about me. i want him to pick me over her. but i'm also concerned about how his life will be if he goes through with this; he's a patient and complacent person, so he'd be the one to hang on despite feeling like crap. i'm concerned he'll spend his whole life being miserable; and i'd much prefer if he were happy. hell, i'd prefer if he were happy with someone else if i were not sufficient for whichever reason.


    i know, uber long post, and you deserve a medal if you actually read it. if you can offer some advice, that'd be even better. thanks so much.

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  6. #276
    Like a Goddess Lyrebird's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Official Love Advice Thread

    The best thing I can say is let nature take its course in their relationship. Don't interfere otherwise you'll be the reason why and she'll resent you and him while he will resent here. So the best way to put it is just like let nature take its course.

    Yeah.

  7. #277
    Registered User Lylian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Official Love Advice Thread

    Because this always seems to happen... I ended up with a crush on another guy.

  8. #278
    Mörë kvlt thän thöv Kane Dunestorm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Official Love Advice Thread

    Alright, so I need some help here...

    I've been with my Girlfriend since the evening of December 21st 2011 (with a time in which we had broken up for a while from the night of September 14th 2012 until February 5th of this year at around lunch time). I know she does still love me and I still love her, but I'm just kind of frustrated because it seems like I'm doing all the work. When I say work, I am referring to the undeniable fact that all relationships require sacrifices to be made. So, it seems like I'm giving it 150%, where it seems like she's not giving it much effort. When I'm feeling kind of down and I make this present for her, she doesn't really do anything to make me feel better, almost as if she doesn't care. I know this is NOT the case because she's gone through much worse emotional distress in the past.

    Furthermore, when I try and give her advice, she will usually treat me as if I don't know what I'm talking about, even when it is something I deal with constantly every day of my life and she knows it. For the longest time now I've been afraid to confront her about more than just minor things because she's pretty sensitive and I fear I might hurt her feelings. Also, I don't just want to dump her because I still love her and I couldn't exactly just stop seeing her because we live across the street and are in the same group of friends.

    Any advice would be appreciated, because I'm kind of frustrated to the point that I've been under some emotional distress recently and I think this may be the cause of it. :/

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  9. #279
    Dr. Heart Stealer Jo The Marten's Avatar Bulbanews WriterSocial Media EditorArchives StaffBulbapedia Editorial BoardModerator
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    Default Re: Official Love Advice Thread

    Honestly, I'd just let her know how you feel. Keeping it bottled up obviously isn't helping. I've kept stuff bottled up in the past, and it would always just fester inside of me. Then when I finally let it out, things turned out much better than I had expected. If you trust her, let her know how you feel, and try to work things out. That will strengthen your bond as well; you'll be able to solve problems together as a couple.

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  10. #280
    Mörë kvlt thän thöv Kane Dunestorm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Official Love Advice Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Jo The Marten View Post
    Honestly, I'd just let her know how you feel. Keeping it bottled up obviously isn't helping. I've kept stuff bottled up in the past, and it would always just fester inside of me. Then when I finally let it out, things turned out much better than I had expected. If you trust her, let her know how you feel, and try to work things out. That will strengthen your bond as well; you'll be able to solve problems together as a couple.
    Thanks, I guess I'll start working out ways to say it without hurting her.

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  11. #281
    Orange And Black October Serperiority's Avatar
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    Default Re: Official Love Advice Thread

    So I'm in quite a crisis right now concerning a mistake that ruined my friendship with this one girl I know. I've had her in my classes since August, but we never really met since January when our Geometry teacher put us together. We got to be great friends, with lots of crazy conversations and arguments, which usually carry on onto Twitter. Now over time, I started thinking that she might be flirting with me, which started to show "flirting" actions, such as hair twirling and even one time laughing uncontrollably at my friend's conversation about what I'd do if my wife drowned (she has a fear of large bodies of water). I wanted to tell her about that, but I was too nervous so I wrote a letter, which I soon regretted. I regret that because since then, nothing's been the same. No more conversations, me getting unfollowed by her on Twitter, and separation (she moved seats in Geometry). I've been getting with one of her (seems to be former) friends who's great enough to actually listen to me, but I'm somewhat guilty of breaking another friendship because she thinks her friend and I are talking smack about her, which in reality is just me venting to her friend about the girl. I've written a letter asking for forgiveness and even gave her a present for her birthday (which we actually share), but not reply other than a "Thank you," for the gift. I'm starting to get worried because forgiveness is all I need and I'm slowly trying to fix what I broke. I'm trying to take my time on this, but I consider the last day of school to be my deadline. Any advice?

    ~ Daryl

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  12. #282
    Dr. Heart Stealer Jo The Marten's Avatar Bulbanews WriterSocial Media EditorArchives StaffBulbapedia Editorial BoardModerator
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    Default Re: Official Love Advice Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Serperiority View Post
    So I'm in quite a crisis right now concerning a mistake that ruined my friendship with this one girl I know. I've had her in my classes since August, but we never really met since January when our Geometry teacher put us together. We got to be great friends, with lots of crazy conversations and arguments, which usually carry on onto Twitter. Now over time, I started thinking that she might be flirting with me, which started to show "flirting" actions, such as hair twirling and even one time laughing uncontrollably at my friend's conversation about what I'd do if my wife drowned (she has a fear of large bodies of water). I wanted to tell her about that, but I was too nervous so I wrote a letter, which I soon regretted. I regret that because since then, nothing's been the same. No more conversations, me getting unfollowed by her on Twitter, and separation (she moved seats in Geometry). I've been getting with one of her (seems to be former) friends who's great enough to actually listen to me, but I'm somewhat guilty of breaking another friendship because she thinks her friend and I are talking smack about her, which in reality is just me venting to her friend about the girl. I've written a letter asking for forgiveness and even gave her a present for her birthday (which we actually share), but not reply other than a "Thank you," for the gift. I'm starting to get worried because forgiveness is all I need and I'm slowly trying to fix what I broke. I'm trying to take my time on this, but I consider the last day of school to be my deadline. Any advice?

    ~ Daryl
    I say maybe give her some space, but try not to become completely disconnected. Rather than try to engage her in conversation, maybe just say hi, wave when you pass in the hall. If things don't improve, approach her and ask if you've done anything wrong, and ask for honesty. Apologize for anything you might have possibly done, and explain yourself to her. Just try not to force yourself on her.

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  13. #283
    Registered User Lylian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Official Love Advice Thread

    How do I stop from liking guys who only like me as a friend?

  14. #284
    Sentinal of Anistar Ryuutakeshi's Avatar Social Media Editor
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    Default Re: Official Love Advice Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Lylian View Post
    How do I stop from liking guys who only like me as a friend?
    There is no guaranteed method of fixing this. You can't make a guy fall for you. If they don't want to go beyond a friendly relationship then you should respect their wishes. Rather than pursuing guys who don't reciprocate, maybe broaden your horizons. There are plenty of guys out there looking for someone to be close to. It really all comes down to who you like and if they like you back.

    Your other option is to be lesbian.

    Evil Figment (7:59:44 PM): Ryuu, however shakily you started, I've got to hand it to you that you earned my respect the hard way.

  15. #285
    Registered User Lylian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Official Love Advice Thread

    I don't meet many guys, and still can't seem to interest any. So I think I may just give up.

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