you might have to take two jobs because red doesn't want to take one. you might have to take a job you don't like just to be her chaperone. you could very likely have to give up more and more of yourself to accommodate all of your differences -and there are many.
you're not her goddamn father, you know. that is not your responsibility.
and you are just... willing to go and be someone like that? how happy do you think you'll actually be if you resign yourself to that kind of life, huh?
hint : you won't be. so many people regret making choices like that in life; getting themselves stuck in a job that they hated, or a situation that they hated, or whatever, instead of doing what they loved. instead of doing what they wanted. they fulfilled the expectations of others.
they fulfilled the expectations of others despite the fact that it was detrimental to them, and it, oh-so-slowly, but oh-so-surely, began to show.
except you're not gonna respawn when you're dead. i couldn't care less what video games tell you.
lord. EVEN WHEN YOU WERE NOT GAGA OVER ME YOU SAID THAT YOUR DIFFERENCES WERE QUITE FUCKING LARGE. it is not your job to fix a broken person. you will almost never succeed. you can help; but people need to find the strength to fix themselves at some point, and although holding up a pillar will keep it from collapsing, it's not going to right itself until it manages to rework its foundation.
i did tell red that i'll need help in order to make ends meet. i'm not taking on two jobs. no way.
i wouldn't have to act as red's father. we'll each have our differences and our independence. we'll live somewhere that my driving won't be the main source of transportation... public transport will be accessible
guess what? red's mum isn't really making ends meet either; clearly, if they need government assistance. so what does red do for work?
do you really think that is somehow going to magically change? NO. NO IT IS NOT. especially since now you won't be working full-time like her mother, BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT HAVE THE FUCKING TIME TO DO SO.
so you'll essentially just be living together.
so you'll resign yourself to never really having any legitimate love, but instead just having a roommate? because that seems to be how you describe yourself.
oh, except this roommate won't let you go out with anyone else, leave for any sizable chunk of time by yourself, will probably not allow any real friends without getting jealous, and will not let anyone have sex with you, because she sure as hell will not.
that honestly sickens me.
you know, i could at least UNDERSTAND if you were blowing me off for a relationship in which you'd actually be happy. in which you'd be able to be yourself. in which you'd be able to grow into the person you want to be. in which you'd be supported. in which you'd have someone that is actually very much like you. in which you would get MIND-BLOWING SEX.
don't say you don't care about the last one. i know you do.
but you're not doing that. and it makes me a whole lot more sad for you than for me.
because i'll likely be alone for the rest of my life, but at least i will have some actual FREEDOM.
at least i will know that i at least kind of did what i wanted to do in life.
at least i will know that i won't have anybody breathing down my neck.
there's a quote i've heard that i really like. you might recognise it; it's very simple, yet profound.
"i am happy... if you are happy."
and i honestly fucking am.
but i know you won't be.
and that's what's really killing me in all of this.
i'm not saying that red is a bad person. she is so obviously not. but just because she's not a bad person doesn't mean you'll be happy with her.
don't get with people because you pity them. that will make you miserable, and it will, in turn, make them miserable by association and how you act towards them.
it is far less pain to just tell them right away than to let such things fester.
red does let me go hang out with other people
not that i ever want to for periods of longer than an hour or so...
i wouldn't be anyway. i'd rather hang out alone than with guy friends.
i wouldn't jump to that conclusion about no sex. not that it's that big of a deal to me, anyway. it's nice, but i'm more of a clingy person than anything else. i'm such a stereotypical chick.
i am myself around red.
i highly doubt you'll be alone for the rest of your life, unless you choose to be.
and i don't pity red. i don't wish to leave red, and that's simply because i do not want to, not because i pity anyone.
i fully understand your argument, though. i nearly stayed with my first girlfriend because "she and her family need help"
wow it's been 22 minutes that i didn't send a reply
i was playing mario kart
there isn't enough time between races to read and type...
[i don't care that he was playing mario kart; that's what he does, and what i do. i can listen to what people are saying and respond back when i'm drawing, and i myself was clicking around youtube when i was talking to him - think of that what you will, i suppose]
i never said you weren't yourself /AT THE MOMENT/. i said that it would not continue to be because you would have to BEND OVER BACKWARDS TO MEET BOTH HER NEEDS AND YOUR OWN.haha. you're fucking hilarious. you will NEVER understand because people LOVE YOU. you don't even TRY to get people to like you. but guess what? hardly anyone has ever liked me for who i am, and i'm sure as hell not gonna change myself for that unless i deem it to be a positive decision.
red sounds pretty fucking asexual to me. not to mention that you'd easily break her if you even tried.
i get that you're ocd and stuff but i would think that you would know that if we are having an in-depth conversation like this, you would comprehend that it's not a good idea to go off on a tangent.
[he was actually talking about a video game system he had that plays NES/SNES games in the next post, which i omitted because it was not important; i decided to leave this last part in, though, because i didn't want to seem like some holy angel and not give an objective view. that was rude, i'll admit it, but i really do think he should keep the subject on hand]
"it's nice," he says. that's not what you fucking said when we did that... must've been more than a year ago by now. no, i had you /begging/, and i wasn't even doing it myself. you are an extremely sexual creature; you just want to deny it so as to not have reasons for thinking of defecting.
you don't let it run your life, for sure, but you have very strong feelings towards it.
you're no longer a virgin, really. you don't have any physical remnants of such a thing, and we've pretty much fucked each other brainless already. if we lived closer - or, hell, if you stayed longer - we would not be in every sense of the word, of which i have little doubt.
i think i can continue to be myself, but we'll see
i personally don't mind being kept busy, as long as i don't have to wake up early. i have said that i'll need help in whatever we do, though, and red understands that.
there are about a billion people within a close age-range to you. cut that in half if the sex organ matters. out of a less than 1000th of a percent of that billion of which you have come into contact with, you've met a handful of people who actually do like you for who you really are. i'm positive that number will increase as you come across more people in the future.
i don't think red is as asexual as you would think. heck, even i find penises and vaginas to be gross at times.
hm, begging is definitely something for me that occurs due to heat
[what. pretty sure people get turned off by extreme heat because it makes them feel like shit and having another sweaty person on them would make them feel more like shit. he's just making excuses now]
i actually highly doubt that for the latter. would've be way too much on my conscience. i would likely not even be able to perform. for the former, though, yes. i have no doubt either.
[he's right; when i sent that, i realised that it probably wouldn't have been like that.]
i actually didn't respond further because i fell asleep. it's not because i didn't care; i seriously don't remember doing it. i just suddenly dropped dead. three days without much sleep caught up with me. he hasn't been on yet - probably out with red - but i did make a response for later...
you yourself have proven it. with eggs, you /know/ the shit the producers of them have to do through to make it, but it's still, "but they're just too tasty!" and hell, you probably order other things and just don't say it because you don't want me to be upset, but that's getting off-topic. red's behaviour has PROVEN that laziness is tastier; she's on the computer almost all the time, she won't get a job despite her mother needing the income, she won't learn to drive for any real reason, which could really help you out, and she'll miss school for no good reason either. granted, the period thing, yes, but that's not the only reason; and remember the examples that you gave me all of that time ago, where she wouldn't even simply add an extra hotdog for you on where she was cooking it? and these are just the things that i remember you /telling/ me. i'm sure that, if red isn't willing to do that, who's to say she's willing to hold a respectable job, especially since you're willing to provide for her all the time?
oh, so naive. sure, it makes sense from a logical standpoint, but you ignore the facts that not only am i an extremely odd person that people don't tend to like, but i don't pursue people unless i myself really like them in return. plus, i wouldn't stay with someone that wasn't at least mostly vegan, most vegans are female, and i'd prefer a male. bam. instant incompatibility with pretty much every human ever.
red has said that she is, you've said that she is, and all of the signs point to her being so. "i don't think red is asexual"? no. you're just making up excuses.
BUT THIS. THIS IS THE /REASON/ I AM REPLYING. THIS POINT OF /STUPIDITY/ THAT IS WORSE THAN "LET THEM EAT CAKE."
"begging is definitely something for me that occurs due to heat"
excuse me? are you telling me that your entire libido is enforced by your ~*heat god*~* especially when your fan was almost always on, making it nice and cool? pretty sure people get turned off by extreme heat because it makes them feel like shit and having another sweaty person on them would make them feel more like shit, so heat would feel more like a kick in the balls than sucking a banana. that is a load of horse shit and one of the dumbest things i have ever heard. it's also rather hurtful, but this whole conversation kind of has been me kicking myself in the spine, you know?
i do kinda agree with that point that you wouldn't do it if you stayed, though. you said you wouldn't even cuddle me for very long because of that - though, we never really got to do that.
another point: red doesn't trust you, not since when you told me something despite her telling you not to. how do you know that'll still work out?