I'm single and I want to be with someone.
I'm with someone online.
I've found someone, but... eh.
I've found a great person but I'm not quite ready yet.
I'm only here for sex.
About to propose.
Recently broke up with someone.
I'm single and I don't mind at all.
Or if spying is too much for you, just look at a girl that seems nice and might be perfect. Watch her actions closely (but not too closely). At least start with that.
About talking to people...the difficulty depends on whether you're social or shy. If you're social, just be her friend. Not boyfriend, but just a friend. This will help you know more about her and she'll know more about you. If you're shy, just act whenever a chance comes to you.
That's my idea...it might be completely different than what you or other people might do. You really don't need to take my advice...but this is how I think. ^_^
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In my case, I'm shy when I'm uncomfortable. But when I'm around people I share interests with, I'll talk your ears off. I personally agree with Missingno and say to join a club, or even better, go to a convention. I go to an anime/gaming convention every year and I have a blast. I've made friends there. Even online, join a forum, or a site and meet people. That's how I met my boyfriend.
Hi Bulbagarden people, I need a little help
Okay, there's this girl in my form. She's really nice and we've been talking alot. I was getting ready to ask her out, then one of my best friends tells me he really likes her as well. I'm not sure what to do. Can anyone give me a hand?
Try to work it out with your best friend. See if he talks with her a lot. These things are complicated; when your best friend likes the same girl/boy as you do. But your best friend is your best friend. You guys know how to work it out. Talk to each other and try to understand each other. You might want to tell the girl about this, too. Talk to everyone that's involved. And hopefully you can make things okay.
You got mail :3
WORLD CUP MODE
Let's put in a context. Guy, let's name him Bob, likes girl called Alice. Bob likes Alice, but he doesn't know what she feels. Bob tries to come near her, that's the "bridge" I'm talking about. I insist, Bob doesn't know Alice feelings. Alice looks comfortable with Bob around and lets him approach. Bob's hopes increase, and he starts to "cross" the bridge. But Alice just love him as a friend, and Bob didn't realize it in time. That's when he "falls off the bridge". Alice either didn't notice Bob's feelings, or didn't want to hurt him, while Bob approached her thinking with false hopes, and ends orbiting around her for months, years. That's what we call "friendzone". It's a bit like ancient Greek tragedies; nobody is "the good", nobody is "the bad", everyone is partially guilty, and nobody ends happy.
WORLD CUP MODE
Ummm...should I call this an update? @Jo The Marten; said I wasn't sure what I was looking for in a boyfriend/relationship. Now I think I've decided. I want someone who's actually smart, not pretending. I want a guy who's more like my best friend than a boyfriend, except we go on dates and hug and kiss and stuff. I don't care what he looks like, I just want someone who will always care about me no matter if I'm in a bad or good mood.
I've been in a "friendzone" situation (we weren't really friends, but the guy thought we were), where the guy had already planned that I was his future girlfriend based purely on the fact that I was nice to him at work, and recruited a bunch of our coworkers in trying to get us together. Never had he once asked me if I was even single (I wasn't), much less tried to figure out if I was interested. But he kept embarrassing the crap out of me with his antics. I was constantly wondering what sneaky thing he would do next, dreading every time he was assigned to my line. It was horrible. And it didn't seem fair that it was my responsibility to find some way to nip this in the bud that wouldn't leave him open to embarrass me further by accusing me of misreading him, when he was the one who was making the job I already couldn't stand into a living hell. And even if I were single and open to dating him, it's not like it says great things about his boyfriend potential when he has so little regard for my feelings in his attempts to woo me. While I understand how it feels to be that scared of rejection, that's his issue, not mine, and he could have dealt with it in a way that didn't put me in the awkward position. I didn't owe him anything, just as Alice doesn't owe Bob anything and therefore is not "at fault" even partially.
The notion of the "friendzone" is crap because inherent in it is both the idea that girls owe guys a date if the guy is friends with him (or even, sometimes, just "nice," as though "nice" is the only quality that matters in a boyfriend), and that it's a waste of time if you befriend a girl you find attractive and "all" you get out of that is a great friendship (as though a girl's only value is in whether or not she wants to bone a guy). It's juvenile, and incredibly insulting toward girls. We have our own lives that don't revolve around what our guy friends want out of us, and our own priorities in who we want to date. The guys who whine about being in the "friendzone" are rarely willing to date a girl they don't find attractive or who they don't think is romantically compatible with them purely because she's their friend, so why the heck do they expect anything different from girls?
Last edited by Misato Katsuragi; 7th July 2012 at 07:46 PM.
Hi, I'm Rose. I love music, alcohol, pointless Internet debates and being a snob about my choices in entertainment. I write a lot. You can read some of my writing at Autostraddle.com, the best site for LBTQ women on the Internet, where I am a staff writer. Or the funhouse that is my tumblr. I also write music sometimes, and post the better fruits of my labors on my SoundCloud.
That's the problem, women tend to be indirect and unclear. Men, instead, are more direct. I'm not saying "honest", I mean, there's a point where even "sneaky" guys eventually become obvious, like your psycho-friendzoner. That's the point when "we need to talk". In most cases, despite both know things are going weird, none of them is willing to talk; that's why both are partially guilty.
That's a strange statement, because "friendzoners" don't notice (or don't admit, even for themselves) their situation, so they don't whine about it. And the men who talk about "friendzone" talk from past experiences and/or seeing another guys in the situation -because as I said, they eventually become obvious-. Anyway, the "friendzoner" actually blocks his sight from any other girl, the only thing they need is the honesty to say "NO, you no".The guys who whine about being in the "friendzone" are rarely willing to date a girl they don't find attractive or who they don't think is romantically compatible with them purely because she's their friend, so why the heck do they expect anything different from girls?
Anyway, "friendzone" is a rather humorous term when all this crap happens, and it's not like every women behaves this way. It's more like "all of us know a guy in this situation" or "many of us were in this once". So I don't get what's so insulting.
Last edited by Ziggy Stardust; 8th July 2012 at 12:19 AM.
WORLD CUP MODE
Hey, guys, let's all be friends here.
Another question: How to cope with being single? Honestly, do you guys have any tips?
I'd say being around friends. This way, you're not lonely. Plus your friends always love and support you, which is always a plus.
Sprites from Serebii.net
My friends would rather play video games -_-