For as long as i can remember, the Christmas season was always a time i looked forward to every year. I loved the presents, i loved putting up the tree, i loved decorating it and putting the star on; i enjoyed eating the holiday themed treats, seeing the decorations on other people's houses and watching the holiday specials that came on every year. But in recent years, it feels like i just can't get into the Christmas spirit, no matter how hard i try. I graduated from High school in 2011 and since the Christmas of that year, i have been having a hard time keeping myself in the Holiday mood. Since i no longer go to a school that could have a holiday themed party at the very most or pass out holiday themed treats at the very least, there's not much else i can do this time of year these days except help put up the tree, decorate it, put up the other decorations and watch Christmas specials. The problem with the last one is that, these days, whenever i try to watch them, my mind wanders and associates them with the worst possible things i could think of and i cannot for the life of me understand why (e.g. this year, i can't help but think about stupid scenes from a movie i have not seen in years), for me this undercuts the ideals of the holiday season and makes it hard to stay in the spirit. Plus, it goes against my initial plan; i was going to single out the Holidays specials I wanted to watch and watch them over and over again, until i could replay them in my head when need be.
I'm told that i should actually do Holiday related things to stay in the mood, but I've tried that too, with little to no luck; I've tried decorating the tree while watching holiday specials, but my mind still wandered. I've tried to make Christmas cookies, but not only do i not have cookie cutters, i also have a limited supply of cookie decorators.
I do not want to end up like those people who see Christmas as just another day with little to no significance, what can i do, the clock has almost run out, Christmas Eve is only 9 days away?