Thread: On LGBQ Issues

I may go to New York pride day this month. I've never been there before.

I totally didn't realize Baltimore Pride is this weekend and I don't care. I really wanted to go last year because it was my first pride since coming out, but eh. There wasn't that much to it other than the parade. Most of the good events are expensive.

Anyway, do any bi users here feel like they have "straight" days/weeks/months and "gay" days/weeks/months? Like, where your preference vacillates between being opposite-sex or same-sex, rather than having a consistent preference. I always hate how when I'm having a "straight" week or whatever I start to doubt if I'm really bi even though I really should know better at this point from all those "lesbian" weeks or 50/50 weeks.

I think it's just because my total number of boy crushes is higher from having been in denial about my feelings for girls for so long.

Not interested in the same gender myself, however I'm a huge supporter of all forms of equality. I do have quite a few friends who don't fit into society's norms, sexual orientation and gender identity alike. The reason I came to post here is because of this law I heard of in some form of news, nothing local as I'm Canadian, but apparently there is a law in Tennessee (not sure if it was only Nashville, or the entire state, perhaps a surrounding area, no idea) where people in school weren't even allowed to acknowledge the existence of homosexuals, now I recall that I heard of this through George Takei, it's a very stupid law in my opinion. I do agree that calling someone homophobic slurs is wrong but I don't think you should just ignore the fact that some people are homosexual or have some other form of sexual orientation that isn't completely straight, it's like trying to cover up something that's right there, in front of everyone's noses.

Originally Posted by Homika

Not interested in the same gender myself, however I'm a huge supporter of all forms of equality. I do have quite a few friends who don't fit into society's norms, sexual orientation and gender identity alike. The reason I came to post here is because of this law I heard of in some form of news, nothing local as I'm Canadian, but apparently there is a law in Tennessee (not sure if it was only Nashville, or the entire state, perhaps a surrounding area, no idea) where people in school weren't even allowed to acknowledge the existence of homosexuals, now I recall that I heard of this through George Takei, it's a very stupid law in my opinion. I do agree that calling someone homophobic slurs is wrong but I don't think you should just ignore the fact that some people are homosexual or have some other form of sexual orientation that isn't completely straight, it's like trying to cover up something that's right there, in front of everyone's noses.

Many people in the states can be very...ignorant, and don't tolerate people who are different than they are. It's pitiful.

Originally Posted by Pokémon Connoisseur Cilan

Originally Posted by Homika

Not interested in the same gender myself, however I'm a huge supporter of all forms of equality. I do have quite a few friends who don't fit into society's norms, sexual orientation and gender identity alike. The reason I came to post here is because of this law I heard of in some form of news, nothing local as I'm Canadian, but apparently there is a law in Tennessee (not sure if it was only Nashville, or the entire state, perhaps a surrounding area, no idea) where people in school weren't even allowed to acknowledge the existence of homosexuals, now I recall that I heard of this through George Takei, it's a very stupid law in my opinion. I do agree that calling someone homophobic slurs is wrong but I don't think you should just ignore the fact that some people are homosexual or have some other form of sexual orientation that isn't completely straight, it's like trying to cover up something that's right there, in front of everyone's noses.

Many people in the states can be very...ignorant, and don't tolerate people who are different than they are. It's pitiful.

While I'd very much like to agree with the United States being like this it's actually everywhere, while it isn't my favorite country in the world it isn't the only one doing such things. I'd say that they are probably pretty chill when it comes to these issues, other less developed countries can be much more discriminatory and strict when it comes to these types of things.

Originally Posted by Homika

Originally Posted by Pokémon Connoisseur Cilan

Originally Posted by Homika

Not interested in the same gender myself, however I'm a huge supporter of all forms of equality. I do have quite a few friends who don't fit into society's norms, sexual orientation and gender identity alike. The reason I came to post here is because of this law I heard of in some form of news, nothing local as I'm Canadian, but apparently there is a law in Tennessee (not sure if it was only Nashville, or the entire state, perhaps a surrounding area, no idea) where people in school weren't even allowed to acknowledge the existence of homosexuals, now I recall that I heard of this through George Takei, it's a very stupid law in my opinion. I do agree that calling someone homophobic slurs is wrong but I don't think you should just ignore the fact that some people are homosexual or have some other form of sexual orientation that isn't completely straight, it's like trying to cover up something that's right there, in front of everyone's noses.

Many people in the states can be very...ignorant, and don't tolerate people who are different than they are. It's pitiful.

While I'd very much like to agree with the United States being like this it's actually everywhere, while it isn't my favorite country in the world it isn't the only one doing such things. I'd say that they are probably pretty chill when it comes to these issues, other less developed countries can be much more discriminatory and strict when it comes to these types of things.

Yeah, but you had mentioned Tennessee, so I mentioned that sort of thing is unfortunately common in the states.

Originally Posted by Goodbye Blue Monday

Anyway, do any bi users here feel like they have "straight" days/weeks/months and "gay" days/weeks/months? Like, where your preference vacillates between being opposite-sex or same-sex, rather than having a consistent preference.

I'm pan but I sorta have this too. I used to only get (or acknowledge) crushes on guys but now it's like 90% girls 10% boys. Or perhaps I should say 50% androgynous 40% girls 10% boys... eh... whatever, something like that. I know an ace person with something similar; sometimes they think they might like sex (if it was with a romantic partner), and other times they think it's the squickiest thing in the world. So I think it's normal for it to go up and down a bit.

Originally Posted by Homika

While I'd very much like to agree with the United States being like this it's actually everywhere, while it isn't my favorite country in the world it isn't the only one doing such things. I'd say that they are probably pretty chill when it comes to these issues, other less developed countries can be much more discriminatory and strict when it comes to these types of things.

Yeah, I'm not the biggest fan of my country or its approach to LGBT people, but the U.S. is definitely not the worst place in the world. There are countries that imprison or even kill people for gay sex, whereas the Supreme Court in the U.S. has specifically declared "sodomy laws" unconstitutional. (It took way too long - until 2003 - but at least it happened.)

Originally Posted by IvySnivy

Originally Posted by Goodbye Blue Monday

Anyway, do any bi users here feel like they have "straight" days/weeks/months and "gay" days/weeks/months? Like, where your preference vacillates between being opposite-sex or same-sex, rather than having a consistent preference.

I'm pan but I sorta have this too. I used to only get (or acknowledge) crushes on guys but now it's like 90% girls 10% boys. Or perhaps I should say 50% androgynous 40% girls 10% boys... eh... whatever, something like that. I know an ace person with something similar; sometimes they think they might like sex (if it was with a romantic partner), and other times they think it's the squickiest thing in the world. So I think it's normal for it to go up and down a bit.

Well, it's good to know I'm not the only one. Sometimes I go on the lesbian sites I usually frequent and if I'm in the middle of a "straight week" or something it really makes me doubt my sexuality.

I don't really know how the LGBT community is seen in my area, because nobody really talks about it much. I came out as a lesbian when I was 15, and everyone I told was pretty much, "Yeah, we already knew that." When it came to telling family, my mother insisted I tell her boyfriend, who hates homosexuals. I didn't want to, but she was all, "He's part of the family, he deserves to know." I was kicked out of the house a few months after I turned 18, and I think my being gay had a bit of a hand in that. My family isn't very supportive of LGBT, even though my great-aunt is also a lesbian. She's seen as a bit of a freak by the rest of the family, so I can really only talk to her about things relating to that.

I feel like I'm really the only (at least out and open) homosexual I know; my other friends are either bisexual or straight. I haven't gotten discriminated against as much as others may have, but there is the occasional snark towards me because of it. My best friend's sister-in-law firmly believes that since I haven't had sex with a man, I must be at least bi; I can't be lesbian because I haven't "witnessed the opposite sex". I've had a few relationships with guys, and I didn't feel a damn thing with any of them. I really only dated guys because I thought I was supposed to.

Originally Posted by chibichernikova

I don't really know how the LGBT community is seen in my area, because nobody really talks about it much. I came out as a lesbian when I was 15, and everyone I told was pretty much, "Yeah, we already knew that." When it came to telling family, my mother insisted I tell her boyfriend, who hates homosexuals. I didn't want to, but she was all, "He's part of the family, he deserves to know." I was kicked out of the house a few months after I turned 18, and I think my being gay had a bit of a hand in that. My family isn't very supportive of LGBT, even though my great-aunt is also a lesbian. She's seen as a bit of a freak by the rest of the family, so I can really only talk to her about things relating to that.

I feel like I'm really the only (at least out and open) homosexual I know; my other friends are either bisexual or straight. I haven't gotten discriminated against as much as others may have, but there is the occasional snark towards me because of it. My best friend's sister-in-law firmly believes that since I haven't had sex with a man, I must be at least bi; I can't be lesbian because I haven't "witnessed the opposite sex". I've had a few relationships with guys, and I didn't feel a damn thing with any of them. I really only dated guys because I thought I was supposed to.

Are you stable now? I can honestly tell you it does get better once you just start doing things for yourself. If you honestly never had feelings for a guy, you don't have to force yourself to. Has that sister-in-law ever had sex with a woman? How does she know she's not a lesbian then? I don't really dig the whole "you don't know til you try it" thing when it comes to sexuality. If you're true to yourself, you should know, but for some people it *does* take some soul searching. Nonetheless, you don't need to have sex to justify your sexuality.

Originally Posted by UptheHillBackwards

Originally Posted by chibichernikova

I don't really know how the LGBT community is seen in my area, because nobody really talks about it much. I came out as a lesbian when I was 15, and everyone I told was pretty much, "Yeah, we already knew that." When it came to telling family, my mother insisted I tell her boyfriend, who hates homosexuals. I didn't want to, but she was all, "He's part of the family, he deserves to know." I was kicked out of the house a few months after I turned 18, and I think my being gay had a bit of a hand in that. My family isn't very supportive of LGBT, even though my great-aunt is also a lesbian. She's seen as a bit of a freak by the rest of the family, so I can really only talk to her about things relating to that.

I feel like I'm really the only (at least out and open) homosexual I know; my other friends are either bisexual or straight. I haven't gotten discriminated against as much as others may have, but there is the occasional snark towards me because of it. My best friend's sister-in-law firmly believes that since I haven't had sex with a man, I must be at least bi; I can't be lesbian because I haven't "witnessed the opposite sex". I've had a few relationships with guys, and I didn't feel a damn thing with any of them. I really only dated guys because I thought I was supposed to.

Are you stable now? I can honestly tell you it does get better once you just start doing things for yourself. If you honestly never had feelings for a guy, you don't have to force yourself to. Has that sister-in-law ever had sex with a woman? How does she know she's not a lesbian then? I don't really dig the whole "you don't know til you try it" thing when it comes to sexuality. If you're true to yourself, you should know, but for some people it *does* take some soul searching. Nonetheless, you don't need to have sex to justify your sexuality.

Kind of. I'm kind of in between houses currently, but it's better than what I was in with her. I've tried telling the sister-in-law, and so have a couple of my friends, that having sex does not really verify or justify sexuality, and she's always all, "I know I'm straight. How do I know? Because I experimented with women when I was younger, and I just decided that I liked men better." She's absolutely centered on the thought that sex defines everything, from the person you marry to what your orientation is. It's more than a bit irritating.

Well, she's allowed to have her opinion. You shouldn't waste your time trying to change it or "deal with it." You already have your own. Sicnce you don't wanna deal with hers, she shouldn't try to change yours. :) Just find your niche in the world.

Originally Posted by IvySnivy

Originally Posted by Goodbye Blue Monday

Anyway, do any bi users here feel like they have "straight" days/weeks/months and "gay" days/weeks/months? Like, where your preference vacillates between being opposite-sex or same-sex, rather than having a consistent preference.

I'm pan but I sorta have this too. I used to only get (or acknowledge) crushes on guys but now it's like 90% girls 10% boys. Or perhaps I should say 50% androgynous 40% girls 10% boys... eh... whatever, something like that. I know an ace person with something similar; sometimes they think they might like sex (if it was with a romantic partner), and other times they think it's the squickiest thing in the world. So I think it's normal for it to go up and down a bit.

I'm ace and this happens to me as well, admittedly. You needn't worry, Monday. :P

Originally Posted by Jack Pschitt

I'm ace and this happens to me as well, admittedly. You needn't worry, Monday. :P

Yep. Happens to me too. :I I'm relieved I'm not the only one, frankly. I did often feel confused about whether I was actually bisexual or not since it often leaned towards females romantically but males otherwise, but it varies so much so often that I learn not to expect anything from myself and consider things on a case by case basis, for lack of a better way of putting it.

Originally Posted by Ebelle

Yep. Happens to me too. :I I'm relieved I'm not the only one, frankly. I did often feel confused about whether I was actually bisexual or not since it often leaned towards females romantically but males otherwise, but it varies so much so often that I learn not to expect anything from myself and consider things on a case by case basis, for lack of a better way of putting it.

Well, I was mainly talking about Ivy's account of her ace friend, sometimes considering that sex might be alright, other times thinking it's just plain icky. That happens to me, too.

I dunno, the fact that you specifically replied to my comment made me confused. :I