- 1 Post By 97SaturnSL1
15th March 2013, 12:32 PM #1
wtf do you want even
For the last five or so years of my life, I've felt like I was nothing, a worthless speck on an Earth that didn't really need me at all. I was quite an arrogant kid, and I can't recall anything that would've caused me to go from cocky to this self-loathing.
Even though I have an innumerable number of wonderful friends who always try to help me see that I'm not a bad person, for some reason I can never believe them. It's like I've developed a mind block that stops me from seeing anything good about myself and making me see myself as exactly what I am, a worthless person.
No matter what I do or where I go, I always feel like I'm not quite good enough. I'm clumsy, naive, stupid, clingy, bitchy, and just overall not a nice person. I'm falling behind in some of my classes, I can't keep up with all the latest news that my friends talk about, I can never decipher my feelings, I'm just ... not good enough.
It's not just inside though, I'm also inferior in every way on the outside. I'm not beautiful, or eye-catching. I'm too tall and lanky and I can't stand right, and I walk like I've got a stone in my shoe.
I just don't know what to do any more. No matter how many times I'm told "Oh, you did great!" or "Wow, you look great!"; I always seem to spot something that doesn't quite live up to the mark.
I don't know if this would be considered an inferiority complex or not, but I fail to see how hating every aspect of myself isn't serious. I wish I could stop, but I can't. :c
Does anyone else here ever feel like they don't belong here, or that they're not good enough compared to everyone else, and does anyone have a method for overcoming it? Thanks.
16th March 2013, 01:34 PM #2
Re: Inferiority Complex
I know where you are coming form. FOr me my inferiorty complex would only show mainly when i would get yelled at my parents because i didnt do something that they though that i was thinking the same thing they did such as cleaning up something or something else around that. Mind that i do have ADD so i can be a bit scatterbrained at times but for some really minor and cosmetic infactions, my dad would say "i wouldnt be able to hold a job" because they wanted me to clean our living room (that i did to my levle of clenliness) but it didnt meet my moms surgical room clean and she gets upset at me because she sees small stuff that is a world of tragety but 95 % desnt bother them. ive had a job and didnt get fired. what i do to vent is to just let it go because they are jsut words. afterlettting them have their tyrad i just calm down by watching shows i like or do other things like Weld.
As for things like appearnces, i am also tall and lanky and have the complexion of a Mediterranean teenager (due to my heritage). Some of my Friends gave me the Nickname "Pit" after the Kid Icarus character because they say i look like him. I always have taken that as a compliment ( eventhough i have photoshopped Pit getting turned into a hood ornament on a Chevy. kekekeke). Also i take all compliments (unless i know its sarcasum) regardless. For example, one day getting out of class last semester, i was walinkg in the parking lot at school to get to my car to go home and two girls i had no idea who they were was at a small distance away form me shouted out compliments Ranging in the "hey handsome" area. after i turned to them waved and said "thanks" and waved, they let a Anime fan girl style Squeeee. i wasnt ssure if that was genuine or a prnak but i didnt hear them talk to anyone else so i figured that they really did like my appearance. As for not making the mark, i am person who takes great pride in my work. i have learned that there is always going to be things that will moive the mark out of reach but i have learned that on some things that i need to learn to get over and others by learning form my mistakes and taking action to help prevent them from happening agian.
Overall it is nothing you have done physically but mentally that is holding you back. WHat i would recomennd is that you hang out with your true friends and do fun activitys together that you all enjoy. just dont blame yourself for things out of your control. I have learned that i will never be able to impress everyone i deal with therefore i must learn to make the best of it