I just can't fit in
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Thread: I just can't fit in

  1. #1

    Default I just can't fit in

    I'm in a small school, and I (somehow) only have a class of 8. This makes what everyone does very, very obvious. Anyway, I believe you've read the topic title, so I won't restate what's there. I'm in a class of jocks. They are all jocks and super skilled at one thing particular: football. They are football fanatics. I'm OK at throwing, but I can't catch. I also trip. A lot. I very well can't talk about Pokemon, as they only know it as the anime (This predicament is what makes me f***ing hate the anime, but anyway). They are all also extremely extroverted. I'm, er, not. Whenever directed to in a rather big conversation group, I get flustered and freeze up. I'm fine when talking with just one other person or maybe two, however. I'm also all the teacher's damn pets because I'm so silent, and my younger brother who STILL doesn't know what goddamn puberty is humiliates me on a daily basis by insisting he hangs out with my class instead of his own freaking friends. I also really just don't like any of the girls at my school, either, so I frequently get picked on for that. I'm not teased to my face, most of the time, but I'm really self-conscious and incredibly paranoid. For the past 3 days or so I've had nightmares of being laughed at. I also beat myself up for being so sorry for myself and not doing anything about it, and then I beat myself up for being so harsh on myself. In other words, I get stressed... because I'm stressed.

    Life isn't all bad, mind. I just hate school. I still have my family and you guys to turn to. This has been happening since November or so. I haven't resorted to anything drastic like self-harm, mind. I've talked to my parents and I've gotten the same response: Things will get better. Um, I'd like something done now so I'm not trapped for the next year and a half. I'm starting to go to a psychologist, so hopefully he'll help.

    I apologize if I sound like a whiner and/or I'm overreacting; I'm just frustrated about this.
    My planned dream team- in the works (eventually)

    Official Claimer of Oblivion Wing on 3/15/14, of the Relic Crown and Enigma Stone on 5/17/14, and most especially Arcanine on 7/5/14! I also have Sumia from Fire Emblem: Awakening and Simon Blackquill from Ace Attorney. I also have the Hookshot (best item ever) from Legend of Zelda, Dragonstone and the tome Thoron from Fire Emblem, and the Crusader Blade from Kid Icarus Uprising. Not that anyone cares, of course...

  2. #2
    Goddess Lyrebird's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: I just can't fit in

    The best advice I can give you since I was very social in school is that people like it when people make the effort to talk. If you like football, just talk about sport or you can learn from there. Ask them questions for example "Who is going to be win in the Superbowl and why?" Also find out what people like and just be social, try to make the effort to talk to people.

    The more you talk to people, the better you feel. Don't expect people to come to you and get to know you. That's a big mistake that a lot of people make. What I did in high school was try to talk to everyone. Sure a lot of people you'll try to talk to, you'll barely talk to. However you can make so many new friends and new acquaintances.

    If they make fun of you for not liking any girls in your class just laugh and make a joke for example.

    One really important thing is to relax when talking to people. Just chill and be yourself. Everything will work out.

  3. #3
    Proud Pokeservative! 97SaturnSL1's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just can't fit in

    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrfing View Post
    I'm in a small school, and I (somehow) only have a class of 8. This makes what everyone does very, very obvious. Anyway, I believe you've read the topic title, so I won't restate what's there. I'm in a class of jocks. They are all jocks and super skilled at one thing particular: football. They are football fanatics. I'm OK at throwing, but I can't catch. I also trip. A lot. I very well can't talk about Pokemon, as they only know it as the anime (This predicament is what makes me f***ing hate the anime, but anyway). They are all also extremely extroverted. I'm, er, not. Whenever directed to in a rather big conversation group, I get flustered and freeze up. I'm fine when talking with just one other person or maybe two, however. I'm also all the teacher's damn pets because I'm so silent, and my younger brother who STILL doesn't know what goddamn puberty is humiliates me on a daily basis by insisting he hangs out with my class instead of his own freaking friends. I also really just don't like any of the girls at my school, either, so I frequently get picked on for that. I'm not teased to my face, most of the time, but I'm really self-conscious and incredibly paranoid. For the past 3 days or so I've had nightmares of being laughed at. I also beat myself up for being so sorry for myself and not doing anything about it, and then I beat myself up for being so harsh on myself. In other words, I get stressed... because I'm stressed.

    Life isn't all bad, mind. I just hate school. I still have my family and you guys to turn to. This has been happening since November or so. I haven't resorted to anything drastic like self-harm, mind. I've talked to my parents and I've gotten the same response: Things will get better. Um, I'd like something done now so I'm not trapped for the next year and a half. I'm starting to go to a psychologist, so hopefully he'll help.

    I apologize if I sound like a whiner and/or I'm overreacting; I'm just frustrated about this.
    YOu are not a whiner and you are not overreacting. i was like that all the way through middle school. As for not liking any girls, its not an issue. when i went to school, i didn thave my first girlfriend til i was in 11th grade. Either the cute girls were all taken, or they didnt meet my standards for appearance or they were a red flag. This one girl who was a 8/10 cheerleader wanted me to go out with her. from what i had heard about her from the other cheerleaders and football players, she really didnt stay with one guy for long. this was in middle school. i told her i wasnt interested and i got the occasional slur hurrled at me from her but i just shook it off. Fast forward to now, i find out she has a kid and she was dumped by her ex bf who wasnt the father of her child. looking back, id rather be teased about not finding a girl then having one who ends up having another guys child with you or having one that doesnt meet my standards of appearnce and personality. Also time to mature and getting experiane talking to others will serve you well. once i got into high school, i came out of my shell quite a bit and gained new friends, joined a few clubs, and took classes that i enhoyed meeting others who shared other interests as me

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    Team Rocket Executive Kadabra's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just can't fit in

    There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, if that's who you are. It has its advantages and disadvantages. As for freezing up in group conversations, practice makes perfect! I'd also suggest you try talking to them about sports, at least for the practice; you don't have to be friends with them if you don't like them.

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    Default Re: I just can't fit in

    Quote Originally Posted by Kadabra View Post
    There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, if that's who you are. It has its advantages and disadvantages.
    I couldn't agree with you more! Don't ever change yourself drastically for other people you don't even know. To be honest, I keep to myself if I am in a class I am certain I have no one to talk to. If you really don't want to talk to these kids, you don't have to. If you are allowed to, read a book, draw, do some hw, go on your phone, etc.
    3DS FC: 1864-8930-3851
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  6. #6

    Default Re: I just can't fit in

    I was in the same situation as you a while back. I switched schools a couple of years ago and was finding it very hard to talk to anyone, because I simply did not know what to talk to them about. At the time I had no interests in anything and my only desires were to sleep and eat, which aren't all that fascinating to talk about. One of the best topics to get a conversation started, I realized, was about school. I would try to ask simple things like "Do we have ___ today?" or "Do you know ___?" They're simple questions but will yield results. After a while you may just find that talking to these people will be easier, and you won't be so shy to ask things you aren't so knowledgeable about.

    Also, if you really don't like sports (I myself hate the topic) than I would suggest talking to the females in your class. I can't promise that they'll never talk about sports, but it's not as high on the topics of conversation list as guys. And not that I can be for certain as I don't know the people in your school, but I used to have the idea that all guys ever talked about is sports. It surprised me to learn that they do in fact have other things they like to talk about, some of which you may be knowledgeable in.

    I should also repeat what was said above in that you shouldn't feel forced to talk. Whenever I feel isolated from the rest of the crowd in school or just want something to do so I'm not just looking in to space, I'll do some origami or draw a picture. And if you're allowed, going on your phone is another option. I will be honest though and say that I don't necessarily recommend this option as being able to talk to groups is unfortunately an important skill almost everywhere, but there's nothing wrong with having some time alone, of course.

    Most importantly, you should always remember to be yourself. Even if you gain attention from not being yourself, in the long run you'll find that being who you really are is so much simpler and easier, even if you feel left out of the crowd at times.

    Hope things at your school improve~

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  7. #7

    Default Re: I just can't fit in

    Thanks, all. While I don't believe I have anything to mention in particular, this has all greatly helped. Indeed, I feel a lot better now. I've been applying all your tips and they seem to be working. While it isn't exactly perfect, things are a lot better. Once gain, thank you.
    My planned dream team- in the works (eventually)

    Official Claimer of Oblivion Wing on 3/15/14, of the Relic Crown and Enigma Stone on 5/17/14, and most especially Arcanine on 7/5/14! I also have Sumia from Fire Emblem: Awakening and Simon Blackquill from Ace Attorney. I also have the Hookshot (best item ever) from Legend of Zelda, Dragonstone and the tome Thoron from Fire Emblem, and the Crusader Blade from Kid Icarus Uprising. Not that anyone cares, of course...

  8. #8
    Goddess Lyrebird's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: I just can't fit in

    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrfing View Post
    Thanks, all. While I don't believe I have anything to mention in particular, this has all greatly helped. Indeed, I feel a lot better now. I've been applying all your tips and they seem to be working. While it isn't exactly perfect, things are a lot better. Once gain, thank you.
    Rome wasn't built in a day. It takes time, a lot of it but you just have to try and make the effort. It will work out.

  9. #9
    #1 Tepig Fan Tepig2000's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just can't fit in

    You seem to be pretty much like me. I barely even talked with anyone in school until I made a true friend in 8th grade. I was really happy when one day we sat next to each other and he started talking about Pokémon. I had no idea there was anyone else in my school that liked Pokémon or Nintendo in general. From that day on, we started doing group projects together when we had the chance and we sat next to each other every day. I was still the most shy person ever in my class, but at least I didn't spend the entire class without saying a single word like I used to do before. Unfortunatey, this year I had to go to another school for middle school because my previous one only went up to 8th grade. And guess what: no one of my 30+ classmates from before are in my class now. Almost everyone else moved to a different school, including that friend I talked about. But now that I've become somewhat used to talking regularly, I made some friends fairly quickly. And since I'm by far the most shy person my class, my friends tend to joke and say things like "You talk way too much!" (sarcastically of course). I still have my old friend as a Skype friend and have friends in forums such as this one. In fact I'm not even bothered by it. This was never an issue to me and I never talked with my parents about this because I was sad about it or anything. There's nothing wrong with being shy. ;)
    My favorite video game series are Earthbound and Pokémon, but that is probably really obvious. lol

    I claimed Tepig, Jeff, Bad Key Machine, Pencil Eraser, Sound Stone, Pollyanna (I Believe in You) from Mother , Boss Battle from Final Fantasy IV and Hi Hi from Earthbound.


  10. #10
    Registered User zakisrage's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just can't fit in

    I was made fun of at school for being introverted as well. It's quite normal. The rugby and football teams at my school were like that, generally made of nobody but extroverts. The rugby players and footballers at my school were often jerks. One rugby player, Kieran, was pretty much the school's equivalent of Joffrey Baratheon. He was stuck-up, arrogant, manipulative, cruel, vulgar, and extremely racist. He bullied me for being Muslim and my friend Ashley for being Italian. He didn't even like video games - he viewed them as trash. On the female side, the feminist students were often pretty mean. My girlfriend got a lot of flak from them because she likes video games.

    Some of the activities I like are how I met my best friends. I was able to bond over swimming with my friends Frank and Tom. I was even on the swim team for a year and a half (Frank and Tom were on it even longer). I also was able to bond with them over Nintendo. The good thing was that all the Nintendo fans at my school were nice, so I didn't have to worry about that.
    Helga: Look, Phoebe you gotta snap out of this. I mean, criminy, it's not like it's the first time you ever farted. Heck, when you sleepover you do it all the time. You rip 'em all night long, they stink to high heaven. It's all I can do to keep from passing out.
    Phoebe: Just get out.
    - Hey Arnold

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