SUPPORT: Handling a pet that your parent hates

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Thread: Handling a pet that your parent hates

  1. #1
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    Default Handling a pet that your parent hates

    Here's the thing, i've always been somewhat of a dog person at heart, so when the family dog ran away (or at least that's what i was told), i spent my time pining that he would one day come back, until finally, i decided to get another dog of my own. He and i had our issues at first, but as the years went by, he became a very close part of my life, one that i came to be very accustomed to. So, when he died, i was truly upset. I got another dog to carry on, but now, that very same canine is suffering the same issue that the previous one had: everyone else hating him, particularly my mother. My last dog was kind of energetic and not very obedient, which caused him to do two things that made my sister and mother hate him for life. He did a few bad things to me a few times, but for some reason, i don't hate him for that, i might have said that i hated at the times, but that was purely out of anger. However, my mother and sister both hated him, plain and simple, and were both quick to point out his faults at any given time. I'd be lying if i said i didn't see their points, but i'm assuming that it's my "Dog person" nature that keeps me from seeing him in the same bad light.


    My new Dog has quite a few flaws himself, and just like his predecessor, they have placed him on the "List" of my sister and mother, they both hate him now, and for while, i didn't really care about that. But yesterday, my dog crossed a new line with my mother, he tore down a fence that she put up in the dog runner and she decided, right then and there, that she wasn't going to be nice to him anymore. She said that she wasn't going to give him any more extra food, or any more water (he shares the dog runner with her dog) (not a good thing, considering it's summer), but most of all, she said that if my dog dies, i'm not allowed to bury him in the backyard like i did with my last dog.


    I'm at a total loss right now, i can (more or less) deal with her not liking my dog, i can even deal with her not giving him any extra food. But no water during the summer? That sounds like hatred beyond forgiveness, my mother even called my dog a menace, she also said a few things regarding the matter about me when i said "I wonder if I'll ever have dog that she likes", but i've all but forgotten them. And the sad truth is, i saw some of the points she made, my dog does have a lot of issues about him, which actually made me want to go outside and train my dog to listen. I guess i was hoping that, like my last dog, this mutt would settle down as he got older and eventually become more docile (i initially wanted a dog that just laid around and did nothing).


    But what really bothers me is the fact that my mother has forbidden me from burying my new dog in the backyard when he dies. I did this when my last dog passed away, so if my new one goes too, i'm not sure what i'll do. This somewhat adds on to an earlier grievance i had with my mother when she was putting up a swimming pool, she wanted to put cement over my dog's grave and just put a plaque over it, but i was against it, it just didn't feel right. I mean, if it were a human, then she'd have been against too, but since it's a dog, she basically thought that i wouldn't mind. Eventually, we settled on putting up a fence around the grave, but still, the fact that she was willing to ask me to do this for the sake of a pool that i likely wouldn't even use just makes me feel a bit upset.


    Has any of this ever happened to anyone else?

  2. #2
    Registered User Sutekh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Handling a pet that your parent hates

    I can't say I've ever been in that situation, no. But is there any way that you could get your mother to like your dog at all? Is there something that you think your mother could see in your dog so that she loves it more than she does at the moment?

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    Default Re: Handling a pet that your parent hates

    Quote Originally Posted by Sutekh View Post
    I can't say I've ever been in that situation, no. But is there any way that you could get your mother to like your dog at all? Is there something that you think your mother could see in your dog so that she loves it more than she does at the moment?
    Nothing short of saving her life from a fire or something, and i doubt even that would work. And even if it would, my dog is not the Lassie type of dog

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    Panne Cottontail Kakuna Matata's Avatar Forum Head
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    Default Re: Handling a pet that your parent hates

    I can relate to a certain degree. My mom is not an pet person, or at least she's not at this point in her life. (She grew up with pets, so it's not like it was a whole new experience for her after her own kids wanted pets. Not sure if she was ever a fan though.) When they make a mess in the house, you can be sure she'll voice her opinion on the matter.

    That said, she wouldn't deny them food or water, and would make sure they were cared for if none of the pet lovers of the house are around. And honestly, when our pets do make a mess, sometimes I openly vent my frustrations about them too.

    One thing she likes about our dog is that he provides a form of protection. For better or for worse, he barks at anyone he doesn't recognize upon them getting close to the house. I'd offer this as a consolation, but since your mom has a dog of her own, having your dog around for protection doesn't make for a very compelling reason to like him. :/

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    Magical Girl Shiny Celebi's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Default Re: Handling a pet that your parent hates

    I can understand to a certain degree. My mom has complained when my cat makes a mess occasionally and threatened to make me get rid of her, so I make a real effort to prevent this. Have you tried training your dog/going to obedience classes, also how much exercise does your dog get, it could be that your dog has a lot of energy and sometimes pets vent that by being destructive. This is just my advice, I'm more a cat person.
    yourlilemogirl likes this.

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    Default Re: Handling a pet that your parent hates

    Quote Originally Posted by Shiny Celebi View Post
    I can understand to a certain degree. My mom has complained when my cat makes a mess occasionally and threatened to make me get rid of her, so I make a real effort to prevent this. Have you tried training your dog/going to obedience classes, also how much exercise does your dog get, it could be that your dog has a lot of energy and sometimes pets vent that by being destructive. This is just my advice, I'm more a cat person.
    Actually yes, i have started to at least attempt to train him, but while we might have gotten the sit command down (more or less), he's proving to be more difficult when it comes to "stay" and "come". I myself am starting to lose my patience with that mutt, especially considering he has such a weak bladder (he whizzes whenever he's scared or when someone tries to pick him up).

    Like i said before, i was hoping that, like my last dog, this current canine would settle down with age, but I don't think that's likely to happen

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    ケロケロ Serpentsounds's Avatar
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    Default Re: Handling a pet that your parent hates

    It sounds like you protecting your first dog's grave caused your mother a bit of grief as far as putting the pool in. If I had to guess I would say had that not occurred, she might not be quite so antagonistic in this situation. Not that she sounds like much of a dog lover in the first place, lol. She is either still bitter or just sees this as more trouble like the first dog. Since you mention she didn't get along with your old dog, it seems likely that she is dreading history repeating itself, because it was unpleasant for her the first time around.

    Either way I would say your best bet is to try to push things in a slightly different direction this time. I would be open with your concerns to your family, and as far as your new dog is concerned, put extra effort into refining his behavior and take absolute responsibility. Your mother will have a predisposition to focus on the worst of your new friend, as well (and it sounds like he's still a bit of a troublemaker to begin with). If he's not shown to eventually be worlds different than your past dog, I personally doubt the situation will improve at all. :[

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    Default Re: Handling a pet that your parent hates

    Well, it finally happened, my dog is finally hanging by a thread. Once again, he tore down my mother's fence in the dog runner and now, if he does so again, my mother plans to get rid of him on the spot, along with her dog as well. Based on the way she said it, i think it's a safe bet that she won't allow me to get a new dog if this happens. Now, it looks like i might have try a new approach when letting him outside, now it appears that i'll have to let out in the dog runner, stay outside and watch him to make sure that he goes to the bathroom and then bring him back inside, all just to make sure that he doesn't wind up on the streets. I see my mother's points in this regard, but at the same time, part of me keeps saying that this whole thing could have been avoided if my mother would stop buying all of this new fancy stuff in her attempts to make the house look nice.

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    Panne Cottontail Kakuna Matata's Avatar Forum Head
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    Default Re: Handling a pet that your parent hates

    Has the situation improved at all in the past week?

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    Default Re: Handling a pet that your parent hates

    Well your dog won't end up "on the streets" unless your mom wants to get bushed for animal abandonment.
    They HAVE to be taken to a shelter. But of course you don't WANT to get rid of your dog.

    You can't blame your mother for her desire to make her home look nice. It's her house and she has the right to do what she wants and your dog is obviously in need of some training.
    Keeping an eye on him while he's outside is a good idea. I've had to to that with my own pet. But maybe you should sit down and have an honest conversation with your mother. I know not everyone has an open relationship with their parents, but I'd say give it a shot anyway. Tell her that you understand that she's upset and you understand that it needs to be fixed. Tell her that you love your dog though, and that you hope that together you can figure out a plan that will make everyone happy.

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    Le Choléra Jabberwocky's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Handling a pet that your parent hates

    My mom does not like my pit bull/German shepherd mix, and has tried to get rid of her several times. Luckily, everyone else loves the dog so she'd never succeeded.

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