Thread: Cheating: Is It Forgivable?

There has been a lot of commotion in my school over the past few months in regards to several people cheating on their boyfriend or girlfriend. All drama aside, I wanted to know what you all thought of cheating. Personally, I couldn't forgive someone who cheats, at least not directly after it happened. I could learn to forgive in the future but ultimately cheating would be a relationship-ruiner, regardless of whether I forgave or not.

So, what is your definition of cheating? If someone cheats, should they be forgiven? If so, under what circumstances? If not, why not?

Is having an affair forgivable?

NO.

The emotional damage created is significant, if you studied my dad during the final days of his marriage with my mom...you'd get the idea.

Absolutely not. I should know. I've been cheated on like, twice...

Yeah, that's not much, considering I haven't had many relationships.

It's always wrong. Even if you were completely honest about it and both girls are okay with it, it's wrong, as it splits your feelings between two people when they should only be directed at one. It's not like you can marry both girls anyway so someone is going to end up rejected in the end.

As for being forgiven, that's up to whoever was cheated on I guess. In most cases it'd definitely kill the trust though.

No way. I wonder if they even know what their partners would feel.

I think it's taking it too far, too wrong, and the fact they weren't considering their beloved one's feelings at the time they cheated. Like my momma always says: Once a cheater, always a cheater. [Not only that. Once they do cheat, they're capable of doing it again.]

Honestly, I could forgive the person for cheating, but as to go back to them? I'm not sure. Probably not, but if it was like 20 years down the line and we were still single, then I might consider it. It would all depend, honestly.

The second I find out someone has cheated on me, they'll be out the door. It's as simple as that. Once you lose my trust, it's very hard to get it back.

My father cheated multiple times during his marriage to my Mum and even left her for one of the many women he cheated with (who was also cheating on her husband). Due to that, I've lived my entire life feeling like I don't have a father and having been deprived of financial security (although it's the last of my worries - he's high up in Apple China, he must be LOADED, yet my family struggles to pay the bills!).

Once you lose my trust, it's very hard to get it back.

This. If I found out that my girlfriend had cheated on me, I would never believe another word out of her mouth. I'd be to suspicious about what she is up to, even if she was just popping into town. It would be easier for the both of us just to split up.

As for forgiving? Maybe. After a while. But it would be dependant on what had happened.

In most cases cheating is not something you can forgive. There might be some exceptions but these are probably if the situation was one were there was some drinking or coercion involved. But when everything is normal and cheating happens it might there is a lack of stability in the relationship.

Yeah sure, I don't see why not.

"And I could never take the chance / Of losing love to find romance..."
- U2, "A Man and a Woman"

Cheating, I think, is a very selfish aspect of a person in a relationship. Rather than "us, us, us" it is a very "me, me, me" situation. Are there situations where cheating is forgiveable? Yeah, if a relationship is at it's end I suppose so. No need to keep beating a dead horse. But in a healthy relationship I really can't see why there would be a reason for it. Maybe someone can enlighten me on that.

I, for one, am not the type to cheat. If my hypothetical girlfriend were to cheat on me, my first assumption would be that maybe she's acting out, and I would calmly ask if something was bothering her, or if I'd done something to upset her, etc.

Maybe it's unhealthy, but if something goes wrong in my relationship, I always assume it's my fault, and I take measures to repair whatever damage I think I've done.

No! Not at all

Absolutely not. I wouldn't demonize the cheater, though. I'd simply move on.