This Support thread was encouraged by this thread.
"Most people deal with bullying wheather they are the bully, victim, or bystander. The main point of this thread here is to talk about experinces that involved bulling which can be how you were tortured or how you stood up for your self or someone else. How you cope with bullying and how to deal with bullies. This thread will also help bullies who want to turn over a new leaf and kick the habit."
This thread serves as a Support thread who wish to discuss about their experiences being bullied in the past. It may also serve as a place to provide comfort or advice to users you meet here.
Re: On Bullying
I'm surprised no one has posted here. Let's see...bullying...
In preschool there was a chick that used to pick on me. Nothing more than name calling.
In elementary school, I was bullied a lot for being short, and also for liking Pokemon, cause apparently Pokemon is for babies. Lots of name calling, etc.
Junior high I was picked on for having small breasts, not wearing make up, and not getting my hair done. I'd also be made fun of a lot for having guy friends. People always assumed I was dating them all, when they were just friends. Particularly in 8th grade, these girls would gang up on me, and in one instance they actually beat me up. I didn't have any bruises or anything, I curled up in the fetal position so they could only hit my back. The leader of that group disappeared for most of the year, and came back the last day of school with children, so I assumed karma was on my side. This other chick just seemed angry all the time. She'd walk around the gym, then come over and kick my bag just because. Girl in science class would always give me a hard time too. tl;dr Junior high sucked.
High school I got a bit more fed up and started taking a stand. If I thought anyone was picking on me, I'd say, "Yeah, you got a problem!?" and they'd leave me alone. But I still had, and still have scars from the shit I got in junior high. I still don't like people joking that I date any male I hang out with.
A few times over the years people have made pompus advances on me. One guy said he lost a bet and had to touch my thigh. I nearly punched him in the face, but instead I just told one of the principals (no he didn't end up touching me. The principal told them to stop bothering me).
Re: On Bullying
The year before last, a lot of the popular kids really hated my friends and I. A lot of the time, it didn't really even seem like they had a reason. All I knew is, because most of us hadn't ever had a boyfriend (when pretty much everyone was 12) and didn't wear makeup or slutty clothes, they just decided we were geeks and assholes. I tried fighting it for a while, but eventually I caved and told one of the teachers. And what did he do? Not a damn thing. From then on, we basically worked out that what we had to do is just not care about the things they said to us. Most of which consisted of telling them "That's not an insult." It happened a little last year, but it was essentially over. I don't know if it was us not caring or if they told each other it wasn't worth it, though.
Re: On Bullying
My personal experience... *sigh*
I lived in the US from when I was a baby, and I returned to my current country when I was around 10. I got bullied because I couldn't speak my mother tongue well, and the culture differences had been quite a shock to me. What I thought was a normal behavior had been regarded as rude - and a lot of my classmates picked on me because I was fluent in English, and I couldn't stand up to them because I couldn't speak so well. That was in elementary school.
Middle school had been quite terrible. Rather directly bullied, I was shunned - always left out from groups and nobody included me in their group work. If they ever did, then they forced me to take all the burden, and later complained I hadn't done it well. The kids only cared on what I was useful for - and when they were done using me, they turned away. The teachers weren't helpful, and just told me that I was the one in fault and I should deal with it alone. WTF the teachers were useless, and I didn't trust them anymore.
High school was a little less painful. I had toughened up from my experience, and I tried hard to be on good terms with everyone in my class. And besides, everyone had been busy with college entrance exams, so nobody actually bullied. And that was the end of my teenage life. I feel so free in university now, even though I don't have many friends. At least nobody is picking on me :D
Re: On Bullying
I hate my time spent in middle school and high school due to being bullied. Former was easier to deal with because it was about boys throwing stuff at me - books, soccer balls, even once a screwdriver - and when I was separated from them in the 3rd year, that stopped. High school was terrible because nearly every classmate was torturing me with words and they were careful not to show that attitude in front of teachers. How I loved the moment when I graduated from that dreaded place and would never meet those classmates again.
I personally wish there were more active efforts to help solve the bullying problems, as well as help the victims. -_-;
Re: On Bullying
I was bullied quite a bit in school.
When I was really young, it was just kids making fun of my accent. Not that serious.
When I got older, it got worse and worse. Kids made fun of the fact that I'm Lebanese. I got called "Leb", "wog", and even "bogan". For example, one time when I was 14 I got really angry. Two blond guys were talking about some Lebanese men who had been arrested not too long before, and they noticed me and said "like him". I told them what was going on. They started staring at me. One of them starting talking rudely about Muslims. The other guy called me a "f***ing wog" and slapped me across the face. I wanted to beat both of them up, but I didn't. I remember later I couldn't stop crying.
I told my mother about the bullying. She told me that I should just ignore the kids, and if you can't, tell a teacher or the principal.
I also used to get left out of stuff. I was also ignored in general and people would mimic me. There was this one kid who thought I was a narcissist because I am somewhat well-groomed. Kids even thought I was gay for listening to female singers instead of only male singers.
The bullying has decreased in the past two years. This was because I found friends who truly care about me and now I'm not as lonely as I used to be.
Re: On Bullying
in Grade school I was teased alot about how I looked I was deemed the ugly girl in school and was once told to kill myself
since I was so ugly, I also had a weird way of thinking and was teased for that alot, even the teachers made fun of me for that
I only had one friend but later on she ended up leaving me for some other girl who didn't want to be caught dead hanging out with the weird kid
I was later shunned no one would come near me and no one would talk to me so I spent most of my grade school alone
middle and school and highschool weren't that bad since
I had friends that cared about me and just having them made me happy
and I was able to get through teasing when I had them
Re: On Bullying
I got bullied in all my life :(
Maybe people is just nevy because I'm a geek and I'm always the most clever in my class.
In preschool I got bullied becase I knew words that nobody knew and I was also the most clever in my class.
In Junior School people, most the boys, pick on me because I was fat, later they started to call me ugly, the girls excluded me from groups and I'm also shy so that doesn't help. In 7th grade people picked on me because I like manga/anime and I don't use make-up (even if I'm 16-17 years now)so girls called me gly and all, I also remmeber of a boy who said that I'm not ugly, he was just saying that becase of his friends.
Middle School, 1st grade was horrible, that was a chic that bullied me because of my weight and appearance, she always made fun of me with her other friends, saying that I was dating the uglyest boy in class, later in the year I helped her in math (proving my superiority), now I know she's pregnant, her "life" ended here and I'm now moving forward.
Re: On Bullying
Hooooo boy, do I have a story to tell. . . .
In first grade, a boy (Who still hates my guts to this day) was making fun of me for no reason and kept trying to annoy me. Of course it wasn't serious, so I didn't really bother with it.
But in 3rd grade, things got HORRIBLE. I was getting teased for a nasty habit I used to have (I licked my hands. . . . BLECH), and later that year, some jerk decided to start something called the "Alexandra Touch", which was similar to cooties, except it was aimed at ME.
In 4th grade, I stopped my habit, but that STILL didn't work. I just kept getting teased, and the teachers didn't even give a shit about it.
5th grade was probably the worst year of my life. More people believed in the damn "Touch", and it was constantly mentioned behind my back and to my face (One time, a kid got up in class, touched me, and sat back down!!). I dreaded recess, cried a lot during school, my grades were starting to fail, and my school wasn't helping me. My parents tried to help me through, but the school STILL didn't listen. I swear to god that I thought one day everyone would come to school in hazmat suits all because of me "contaminating" the place. At the end of the school year, I was GLAD to actually get out of that hellhole.
6th grade was a bit better, because the teachers actually DID help me, but the problem was the other students rebelled against them. The teasing, fortunately wasn't as bad as in 5th grade, and by then I was used to it.
In 7th grade, it died down, and very few people believe in the stupid "Alexandra Touch" thing, but the same dude from 1st grade STILL hates me. He's been giving me verbal threats (Such as "Don't wake up tomorrow"), but he practically gets his ass whooped by the school staff for saying those things.
I still have permanent mental scars and horrifying memories that still flash back whenever I pass by my old elementary school. I also haven't forgiven my former bullies, and most likely never will, but I managed to regain my self-esteem and confidence (Mostly). To this day, I still tell my story to spread the word on the effects of severe bullying. I'm currently moving on, and since 7th grade, I feel like I've turned over a new leaf.
Re: On Bullying
This is only a part of the story (or else this'd be 20 pages long), but this is actually the first time what happened to me has been revealed publicly since it happened that long ago.
13 years ago, I had joined the online community at the age of 13. While playing Bingo Blitz, I had discovered the existence of chatrooms. At first I joined a place called Uproar. While playing, I would chat with some people on there about various things. Things were great at first, but some trolls started appearing and began harassing me about my screen name and the way I used to write (My writing skills weren't that great at the time). This ended up turning into stalking throughout different chatrooms and lasted for 2-3 months, before I left.
During that time, a friend of mine brought up an Audio Chat called Paltalk. I downloaded and joined that new chat, hoping to have things go a lot smoother and not be bullied/harrassed there. Things were great for a couple of months, but after 2 months the same users who harrassed me on Uproar followed me to Paltalk and continued to do the same thing. Because it was an Audio Chat they also harrassed/bullied me about my voice, even though I was so young.
I found a new chat a month after that called Firetalk. Again, like Paltalk things started out just fine. I had taken an interest in trivia game rooms at the time, and even helped run the games. As with Paltalk, again the same users found me on Firetalk and continued bullying me and stalking me in the chatrooms.
This lasted for over a year, while at the same time I was doing horribly at school. I was constantly visibly shaken from what I had been going through and tried to keep what was going on away from everyone else because of how badly it affected me psychologically.
At that point, I was very close to giving up altogether on chats and sticking to games that I liked so much at that time. A good friend of mine recommended a new chat that was just being revealed called Excite chat. I was very hesitant due to everything that had happened, but decided to give it a try with a completely new name that I had hoped wouldn't be recognized by anyone.
Things were great there for quite awhile, until a nasty fake rumor was started by someone. This rumor spread like wildfire to every single user on Excite. At the time I didn't know who began the rumor, but it turned out to be the same users who were bullying me on the other chats. One of these users found out my IP address somehow, and started giving it publicly to everyone along with the rumor. My computer started getting attacked for some unknown reason (hacking I think?), and every time it happened my computer would crash and freeze. Things only got worse... Someone found out my real address and location and spread it to a lot of people. There were people who even tried to break in my house weeks later. I received a ton of death threats during this.
After what happened with Excite, I left the computer world in 2002. I wanted to stay away from chats and never go through that again. I have never recovered psychologically from what happened. Even years later in the back of my mind, I worry that something like this would happen again; even on here.
Re: On Bullying
It all starteded in first grade with this one girl and her friends. they would call me names because i was the shy kid. it continued on til 4th grade where this even more obnoxious girl came into play. she was the meaner one but i did get her in trouble by ignoring what she was saying to the point where she screeched in the class room and got in trouble. after that year she moved away never to be heard from again in this area. the first girl and her gang would still bully me but it would get lighter and lighter as the years progressed. After 7th grade the bullying stoped compleatly. even though it was hard to put up with her , Karma was on my side big time. In 6th grade i got to take HER place on a field trip to columbus, and right now she is still trying to get child support for her 3 year old from her "boyfriend" who skipped town on her. and most of the poelple who used to hang out with her became very nice and respectable twords me. nothing like some conicidental revenge
Re: On Bullying
My experience with bullying isn't as bad as some of the other's I've read on here, but I was most definitely bullied until about ... I'd say the start of last year, after spending a little time in high school where everyone is a bit more mature and less judgemental, or at least, in my eyes, they are.
I got bullied a lot in primary school. It started out quite young, perhaps when I was about six or seven. I wasn't a very feminine child, in fact, if I knew what gender identities were back then, I definitely would have identified as a boy. I had my hair short and messy, wore boy's clothes, and acted like you'd expect a typical young boy to act. The only thing really feminine about me were my eyes. Naturally, being in a class with seven and six year olds, I was bullied. Badly. I remember getting into fights a lot when I was younger, especially with the older, more feminine girls who treated me as a freak and an outsider. This continued until I left primary school, with it getting increasingly worse throughout the years. It wasn't until I was about ten that I realised I only had two friends, both of which were male, who weren't really "friends", more people who I looked out for and for some reason, respected me. My classmates started picking on me for new things, too, like the fact I was much taller than the majority of them, which proved a problem when it came to my final year of primary school as hitting puberty earlier than the rest of them made them think I was fat rather than growing into my figure. I got bullied for that a lot, too.
As I said, I was a fighter. I didn't sob in a corner when somebody started bullying me, I punched them. Which would always, always lead to a fight. I probably had more bruises and cuts as a child than I did hot meals. When I got home the first thing I'd do was lock myself away in my room, and repeatedly punch something to let my anger out. My parents were always there to comfort me of course, but as much as they tried to tell the school about it, they never really listened, because apparently they weren't all too fussed on my little "gender-confusion" act, either. It wasn't just at school I received bullying though, I've had it off my sister for all my life. She's constantly mocking me for what I wear and what I am.
It was right at the end of my primary school days that I'd finally accepted that I was female. I grew my hair long again, started finding female friends, wearing girl's clothes, whatever it was that I didn't do previously. People stopped bullying me so much when that happened, though I did still get the occasional name-call for my seemingly obscure habits and hobbies. I did, however, realise how much my treatment growing up had affected me psychologically. I'd gone from an obnoxious, rebellious child to a shrinking violet who stuttered when she spoke and was painfully shy. It also took a massive knock to my self-esteem, after so many years of nasty comments I'd just brought it on myself to believe they were true. I still do, actually, my self-esteem never really has recovered.
But it's completely stopped now I'm in high school. I fit in here. They're all like me. And God, I'm so glad those days of bullying are behind me. I can see the girls who made my childhood miserable now, and you know, now that I think about it ...
They really are amusing.
Re: On Bullying
Good for you. I was never what you could decribe as 'bullied' at school but I did get my fair share of name-calling. To be honest I think I got away with a lot because people knew my brother was quite intimidating, they were almost scared to take the insults any further. You don't think about it at the time, you just think it's part of school life, it's only when you get older and realise that bullying happens all the time in the work place and in adult life.
Originally Posted by Guinevere
Re: On Bullying
12 posters. 2 males. 10 females. Those statistics could be interesting.
Anyways, I have not been bullied. People have tried to bully me (at about age 11-12), but they gave up on it because I was too violent. I was however bothered by that I was blamed by the teachers for fighting when I wasn't the one to start it.
Re: On Bullying
I've had a lot of experience with bullying, mostly because I've been on all sides; as the bully, the victim, and the observer.
I think we're all observers to varying extents, depending on how much you notice these things.
As both the bully and the victim, I understand bullies and why they do what they do, as well as the victims and how they feel about their bully and everything.
As a child I bullied many people, if someone tried to analyse my life maybe they'd say I became a bully because of the bullying I received from other people.
I really don't believe that, I think I was a bully because I was a bad person in general.
In recent years I've tried as much as possible to be non-violent.
A lot of my the bullying I did as a child was physical, and on this note I think I've improved a lot and I hope to cure myself as much as possible.
My life as a victim on the other hand isn't very special or interesting in comparison, but maybe because I was a bully myself I didn't resent my bullies as much as I could have.
In my later years I understood the whole bullying process and I realised that bullying wasn't so black-and-white.
Looking at myself, I realised that not all victims were sympathetic and that some of them probably deserved to be bullied.
I probably deserved it as well.