Thread: Long distance relationships - yes or no?

Well, the obvious way to prevent that is to get to know them before declaring yourself a couple. If you just randomly decide to date someone online without knowing anything about them or having actually seen what they look like, then I'm afraid that you're being a very, very foolish person.

I knew Feliciano for a year and a half before we started dating. I knew what she looked like and how old she was. And it was an internet relationship.

Sure, it's always a risk dating someone over the internet long-distance. But it's also a risk dating someone in real life. People are never what you perceive them to be at first. Always remember that.

Of course they can work. It just depends on the people.

Some people need constant physical attention, whereas others are content spending time with someone. Now, of course there's a risk. But like takeshi said before me, there's a risk with people you meet face to face too. Just because you're capable of seeing someone in front of you doesn't make them a better person than someone who lives miles away. Local relationships can fail just the same ways long distance relationships can. For example: Cheating, controlling, not enough attention, too much attention, abuse (though physical abuse might be out of the question for long distance). The case is always the same: Get to know someone before you decide to start a relationship.

In my opinion, long distance relationships can be better than local relationships, because you bond with the person on a way more personal level based solely on their personality, morals, and interests. It's the looks and the physical aspects that come second, the aspect which is often taken advantage of locally, whereas it's way more special when it's long distance. You don't have to constantly cuddle or kiss someone to be happy with them. Relationships based on that sort of thing tend fail way more often than long distance, or they turn into something ugly.

And what about married couples where one of them is in the military or travels a lot? They're technically long distance too, but you wouldn't say they would fail either, would you?

That's my input.

What is love but an infusion of thoughts and feelings?
If the 2 (or 3) people love each other then the distance doesn't matter.

It depends on the dedication to a relationship that people have. I'm of the firm belief that real life is very, VERY different from online. I knew a man for quite a long time online, was dating him for a bit, and then he came and visited me for a few days and everything was completely different. No, he wasn't a middle-aged man or lying about anything, it just turned out that we didn't click in real life like we did online and so it was awkward and was as if we weren't even dating, and we broke up soon after.

There's also the matter of the people that date knowing they will never, ever meet each other. I knew a couple that lived in US/Australia. They were pretty well aware that they would never be able to actually meet each other, which automatically puts the relationship on the back-burner so to speak. The thing is, that kind of long distance is still possible, but there has to be the dedication to visit the person eventually. Two high schoolers across the world dating over the internet? Not likely that that relationship is going anywhere tbh. I hate to be a downer but even real high school relationships mostly go nowhere, let alone ones with that kind of hurdle.

This is why dating someone in real life and then them moving long distance is different. You still have that real life connection, and you know that you work well in real life. My boyfriend and I are long distance at the moment, not because I met him online but because he's studying abroad this semester, and I think it's safe to say that we would never have dated if we met online. We clash a lot and misunderstand each other and generally just don't get along as well long distance, but we're great when we're near each other. Real life is different.

I used to believe no, but then went into one without care, and it went out horribly. The main cause was probably because of the fact we couldn't see each other, so we decided to end it and wait until we do see each other. We didn't contact each other ever since, and other times it was just unacceptable. I don't like long distance relationships from my experiences, since I'm an awful "long distance" partner.

Physical Contact means no for this topic.

Whether or not a long distance relationship can work is directly related to the maturity level of each individual. More specifically, if both people are totally committed to being together eventually and make regular plans to see each other in person, then the relationship has a good foundation.

However, if one or both people are regular clubbers or like going out to bars, taverns, etc. on a regular basis, then the relationship is in deep trouble. Clubs, bars, taverns, etc. are for hooking up. Even if both people are completely faithful, the jealousy and lack of trust that is common when two people are apart will be intensified. Being obsessed with the idea that your partner might be cheating on you is a relationship killer. Don't be a bar fly and your relationship will be fine.

And, seeing each other in person at least once per month is essential. Most importantly, make sure you have a definite plan to be together permanently, otherwise the relationship will languish in limbo and go no where.

the longest relationship i ever had was long distance. it was really new to me, as before i had only gone out with guys i went to school with, but he ended up being the best boyfriend i've ever had. we're not together anymore - we drifted apart - but we're still on good terms and i still really love him. <3 it really depends on the people, but i think for some long distance relationships can work. it all boils down to trust and patience.

Mostly no. There are exceptions, but it's very hard to keep a long-distance relationship. The bond must be very-very strong.

No, man. No. The Naked Brothers Band had it right.

I used to think that it was possible, but a girl I knew on Facebook changed my mind...

Originally Posted by jokool

I used to think that it was possible, but a girl I knew on Facebook changed my mind...

What happened exactly?
:O

Originally Posted by Steelrush

Originally Posted by jokool

I used to think that it was possible, but a girl I knew on Facebook changed my mind...

What happened exactly?
:O

Story short: I liked her, she didn't like me.

Long story:

She was the granddaughter of a friend of my grandma. I only knew her on Facebook. We lived in different states and had never met in person.
Anyway, we used to talk on Facebook all the time. Eventually, I started liking her, but I hadn't told her.
I forget exactly how she found out that I liked her (but I think it had something to do with my aunt), but when she did, she told me that she didn't feel the same way. Her reasons were that I was too old for her (I'm 2 years older than her), and that we lived too far apart for a relationship.
So, there you go.

Originally Posted by jokool

I liked her, she didn't like me.


She was the granddaughter of a friend of my grandma. I only knew her on Facebook. We lived in different states and had never met in person.
Anyway, we used to talk on Facebook all the time. Eventually, I started liking her, but I hadn't told her.
I forget exactly how she found out that I liked her (but I think it had something to do with my aunt), but when she did, she told me that she didn't feel the same way. Her reasons were that I was too old for her (I'm 2 years older than her), and that we lived too far apart for a relationship.
So, there you go.

There you have it, a testament to why online dating isn't as good as the real thing.

I'm sorry that such a thing happened to you. The dating world can be so cruel sometimes. -_-

Originally Posted by Steelrush

There you go, a testament to why online dating isn't as good as the real thing.

I'm sorry that such a thing happened to you. The dating world can be so cruel sometimes. -_-

Exactly. And thanks.

Eh, of course it could work, but three words come to mind at the time. Circumstances. Circumstances. Circumstances.