Thread: What is the difference between love and infatuation(as well as lust)?

This has been something that's been wandering around in my mind for a while. How can you tell if you're really in love? How can you tell if it's not love but infatuation or lust?

What's your opinion on this matter?

I feel infatuation is a strong passionate emotion based around flirting, and physical attraction to a person. It tends to be what starts a relationship with a lot of people. There's not a whole lot of support other than flirting, making goo-goo eyes, and possibly (depending on the people) sex. It seems a lot of people feel like if they don't feel this infatuation as strongly over time, that they've fallen out of love and will end a relationship.

Love is a deeper bond based around mutual understanding and trust. You feel completely vulnerable around one another, and you're not afraid of doing anything. You're more than just lovers, you're partners in life. You work together to better one another and help each other grow into a mature and responsible human being. It's the kind of bond best friends have. The kind of best friends who not only stick up for you, but encourage you to stand up and fight. To not be pushed down so easily, but to stand your ground. The kind of best friend that tells you your faults so that you can improve on them, rather than kiss your butt and tell you you're perfect. The kind of friend who will stay by your side when you're ill and make you soup.

That is my opinion on the difference between infatuation and love.

Anything less than I Want My Beloved To Be Happy is not true love, IMHO. Then again, I wouldn't know. I have never felt any form of love.

Maybe love is another form of really strong friendship - like as in BFF, but with more romantic emotions. To me, it doesn't seem so different, because just like how you feel towards your BFF you have mutual feelings of understanding, personal cheers and that you never get tired of meeting each other every single day. You're willing to listen to problems and help out any way you can, and you're grateful when they're with you. You don't mind their faults or downsides - whatever disadvantages they have, and so do they. You work together to get over it, and encourage each other. Love expands more from here and includes more intimate actions/emotions, it seems.

Infatuation doesn't exactly let you sympathize with the 'one'. It's like being attracted to the appeals whether it be inner or outer. It's not something 'mutual' I guess.

Lust is an immediate feeling while love is a permanent feeling. From personal experience it takes A LOT of time and effort in order to get to the point where you can actually say that you love someone. It's not like lust where you make up your mind on the spot or right after an encounter. Love is something that is built over time, once you get to know that special someone, once you find out the details, once you grow with that person, creating an irreplaceable bond.

Now, on another tangent; I also feel that "liking" someone is different from both love and from lust. I feel it's the beginning of love, but beyond the point of lust. I feel liking someone is being at the point where you've gotten to know someone and are just trying to figure everything out with the special somebody. Maybe it's just the way I use the term, but currently in my own life, I feel like I "like" someone. I can't say I love them since I am not in a relationship with them as of yet, but I don't "lust" them either since I am attracted to much more than her physical appearance. I've taken the time to get to know her, and love her attitude and outlook on things, the way she does certain things that the average person may not notice.

My point being, I do agree that there is a fine line between love and lust, but where is the middle ground out of all of this? Is my idea incorrect / can anyone else think of a middle ground or do you think there is no such thing?

Originally Posted by istore

Lust is an immediate feeling while love is a permanent feeling. From personal experience it takes A LOT of time and effort in order to get to the point where you can actually say that you love someone. It's not like lust where you make up your mind on the spot or right after an encounter. Love is something that is built over time, once you get to know that special someone, once you find out the details, once you grow with that person, creating an irreplaceable bond.

Now, on another tangent; I also feel that "liking" someone is different from both love and from lust. I feel it's the beginning of love, but beyond the point of lust. I feel liking someone is being at the point where you've gotten to know someone and are just trying to figure everything out with the special somebody. Maybe it's just the way I use the term, but currently in my own life, I feel like I "like" someone. I can't say I love them since I am not in a relationship with them as of yet, but I don't "lust" them either since I am attracted to much more than her physical appearance. I've taken the time to get to know her, and love her attitude and outlook on things, the way she does certain things that the average person may not notice.

My point being, I do agree that there is a fine line between love and lust, but where is the middle ground out of all of this? Is my idea incorrect / can anyone else think of a middle ground or do you think there is no such thing?

I would agree. Love is (yes, corny as it sounds) like a plant. I'd like to think it's a rose. <3 But seriously, it has to take time in order to bloom and prosper into love. Not that I'm trying to rehash what this guy is saying, but just to say I'd agree with everything.

I should know. I forgot what love really means.

Love.... love is a beautiful and delicate thing.

Love is what brothers and sisters share, that one inseparable bond that hurts just as much as being nailed to the cross.

It requires sacrifice and it isn't something fucking teenage girls have. No, love is deep and ancient. Gentle but Destructive. Merciful but Unforgiving.

It is all of these. And that is perhaps why I might not ever find it.

Infatuation and lust are pretty much the same thing, in my opinion. It's a temporary attraction to someone. While lust is typically focused on the outer attributes, it's just as ephemeral as infatuation, which is focused on the inner attributes of a person. Love, however, is more permanent. If you're actually in love with someone, and they break up with you, it can take weeks, months, or even years to 'move on'. And even then, it's like the person has left something there with you that it's impossible to get rid of. Love is a strong bond, one that will never break, no matter what you want. Love is beautiful and terrible, and can destroy and save you at the same time.

"Between the horses of love and lust we are trampled underfoot."
-U2, "So Cruel"

I think there are differences to all three. In my view, lust is very much a physical attraction. When you think of them, you don't think of them; you think of and desire their body. Infatuation is a simple attraction, more akin to a crush. There is no real depth to it. It may not be as physical as lust, more of an "I think they're cute. Teehee" kind of thing. Love is altogether deeper; it pervades beyond the skin. Not just the other's skin, but your own as well. It's altogether more honest, and based around an emotional connection rather than a physical one. Physical contact may strengthen those bonds, but the relationship/connection does not depend on it as the primary component.

Oh Arceus this is a tough one. Whenever I think I feel anything about a girl, it takes me ages to try and figure out whether it's infatuation, lust or something more.

In all my life, I can only say that I have felt that I have been in love once. That time was different than others because I had truly got to know the girl and we became very close friends. Love is when you do not have any complaints about having them on the phone at 3am because they're scared, despite knowing you have to be up at 6am. Love is when you feel sad when they're sad, feel happy when they are happy and are there for them during both extremes. Love is when even after not seeing them for three years you still think about them every day, even if it is with a melancholic, regretful flavour. Love is something that can be as painful as it is beautiful.

That, is when you know something is love.

I guess when you're in love, you'd be able to sacrifice some things for them, but you have enough trust in them that you KNOW he/she won't let you sacrifice it in the first place. It;ll be like a truce between the both of you. And that kind of balance in a relationship is pretty hard to find. Guess and check, maybe? I thought I really was in love with this guy once. I only realized that I was infatuated with him when it was already over, when it was all done...

Love is when you see her smile every time you blink, when you see your own future in their eyes, when you touch and caress and everything feels so wonderful.

Infatuation and lust is basically just physical attraction to any person you meet. Hell, it could even be someone you don't even know, just someone you see in the store and you think they're pretty hot. There's no true emotions in it, unlike true love. Lust is basically just wanting that person in bed pretty much haha. Though lust can always turn into love in the long run.

Love though.. is an amazing feeling once you truly find someone you want to spend all your time with, no matter what you're doing with that person. Everything is fun when they're around. Love is when your heart pounds from just seeing them or hearing them talk. You love everything about that person. Love doesn't just have to be physical attraction. If you truly love somebody, it doesn't matter when that person may look like crap on a certain day. Your mind somehow sees that person as the most beautiful person, even on their worse days.

There is a big difference between these two things that people really need to figure out. Lust is good and all. Hell that's how me and my love started out, but we truly fell for each other in the long run. <3

love is when someone can ask where you would be if the person you "love" is trapped and dying in a dark, smelly, disgusting hole and everyone will denounce you if you go to comfort them, and you do it anyways. Lust is when you decide to go looking for a new girl to sleep with that night.

You know you're infatuated when it begins, and you know you're in love when it's over.