Thread: Online Dating - AAAAAHHHHHH!

Has anyone else ever tried online dating sites?

I have a new account on OkStupid OkCupid now that I'm single again. I had one before and you have no idea how glad I was to delete that thing once I was in a relationship. I don't feel as demoralized now, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

I don't like the idea of it because any date arranged through a website (or through newspaper ads, etc.) is pretty much just a blind date. That's not saying you can't meet a nice person through it, but the whole idea of going out with someone you know nothing about / don't even like beforehand just doesn't appeal to me. And there's the danger of meeting some sort of criminal on there who will put you in danger, whether its a scam artist and that person ends up taking your money or if it's some kidnapper / murderer / robber who threatens your life, etc. Yeah, it's rare, and it's possible that the same thing could happen with someone you meet in person, but it's still more likely to happen with someone you've never met before than someone you see in person.

Originally Posted by dannyjenn

I don't like the idea of it because any date arranged through a website (or through newspaper ads, etc.) is pretty much just a blind date. That's not saying you can't meet a nice person through it, but the whole idea of going out with someone you know nothing about / don't even like beforehand just doesn't appeal to me.

That's not really how it is, though, at least not for a site like OkCupid. It's not like newspaper personals ads, where you just put a few brief details about yourself and no photos or anything. OkCupid has a place for people to upload photos (and everyone does, because if you don't, you don't get any results) and includes a profile where you're supposed to go into detail about your personality, interests, etc. It also has a "match questions" feature where you answer questions about yourself and what you want in another person, and rank them in order to importance, and how well someone matches you on those questions is what determines whether they'll show up in your search results.

I actually find it's less of a "shot in the dark" than, say, meeting somebody in a bar. If anything, the problem with OkCupid is sometimes you know too much about somebody before meeting them, and you can get too picky if you're on there for too long.

Be careful when online dating. The person you're dating might be an antelope.



In all seriousness, I'm A-OK with people dating online (hell, I'm in an online relationship) but I don't agree with online dating sites myself, but I won't prevent someone from posting an online dating profile if they really want to. Casual dating in general bothers me (online and IRL), and online profiles just seem like you're advertising yourself. I am a person, not a product.

Originally Posted by Jo The Marten

Casual dating in general bothers me (online and IRL), and online profiles just seem like you're advertising yourself. I am a person, not a product.

Yeah, casual dating bugs me, too, but I've met some interesting people through online dating, so w/e.

Also, the "advertisement" part of it is what makes it annoying. I feel like you're supposed to put so much of who you are out there, in order to give people a complete picture to "evaluate," and while some of that is nice in the sense that it allows you to spot dealbreakers a lot sooner than you might in the real world (like, for me, with guys, that they might be homophobic - that stuff doesn't usually come up on the first date, but I'm bi so that's an absolute dealbreaker for me), I also feel like part of the fun of dating is getting to know someone slowly. And it's also hard to think of stuff to talk about if you already know everything you need to know about a person!

I do agree with that. You also should be careful, regardless. I've heard of incidents where rapists/pedophiles posted random pictures of attractive men/women that they found on the internet, and claimed that it was them in the picture. I'm sure that most cases, you're talking to the actual person and not a fake. I do like online dating for a few reasons actually. You get to have a connection not based on just physical attraction. It's more of a mental, emotional, spiritual, etc. connection when you first begin to talk to them. It can develop based on your personality than just feeling attraction for the person from the get-go.

That's just my two cents on this matter. ^^;

(I'm in an online relationship myself as well, so don't mind my rambling. )

I DO NOT trust dating sites. Sure, they may be helpful sometimes, but I think it's where cyberbullying and stranger danger starts for most people. You're never safe, anywhere.

But looking on the good side, it seems more easier to date someone online than in person. But lying becomes easier...

Need to try it someday before I make a judgement.

Online Dating is in itself a double-edged sword. An Online Dating site is a place where people often gather to wield their weapons. If you know how to use your weapon, then best of luck! Just keep in mind, because of the way you have to market yourself, that it is incredibly easy to hurt others, and become hurt yourself. I don't know if this is helpful or not, but also you need to be yourself for it to work. Over time, make sure you reveal your true nature and not be too reserved.(that was my mistake)

dating sites: no. you're better off dead than visiting those places. in times like these, it's very possible to be the next victim of rape or murder.

in my opinion, just meeting someone online via a site like this that shares your interests is safer. but, in reality, long-distance relationships can either make you, or break you.

All my friends are doing it.

I'm in a relationship (and have been, guess you could say it's serious) so I don't understand why people in their early 20's all started flipping a shit at being single all at once.

There were times where I was so close to getting an official girlfriend via online dating, but they end up in a disaster. I'm still searching for one in both online and irl.

I use PoF as my online dating site. Sometimes I get a lot of replys sometimes not. Some of the girls on there are pretty cute tho.

I have to agree that dating sites are places which I'd never roam because of the false love born out of it.
You are better off sticking to someone you can actually be around with.

Never understood the whole social stigma of using online dating sites. All they do is cut down on all the potential wasted time with girls who hide behind their shields of righteousness and weave their little webs of deceit, all the time formulating the next plan to weasel their way out of a situation.

You can throw around the "true love" pizzle all you want, but eventually you'll come to realise that it doesn't actually exist, and we, as humans, simply retreat into our comfort zones when we no longer wish to make an effort to better ourselves.

It saddens me when I hear of people who have been with one partner their whole lives, be it because they were afraid of never being able to find another, or so easily conceding defeat in the goal of bettering their situation.

The truth is that in this world, you are given several choices in life. Not complete control, but enough choice that your life can change for better or worse dependant on those decisions you take. It's like always choosing vanilla when buying ice cream, or visiting the same holiday destination every year. How can you possibly consider something to be superior to another if you've never actually experienced any other reality?

But I digress, dating websites, if used properly, simply narrow down your choices to those who may well have some interest in being with you for an indeterminate amount of time. You may all believe in the old adage of waiting for love to come to you, but the world passes by those who are wont to sit by and allow it to do so. Cast out your hook into the stream of the world if you will, but if you were given the option of being told which fish were poisonous to your health before attempting to land them, and you dismiss this knowledge for it not making your catch "real" then you are allowing yourself to be deceived.

Not everyone who uses dating site profiles to find potential matches are serial killers and desperate losers. Some people simply don't wish to tarry with timewasters and those who would endeavour to derive some kind of self-satisfaction from playing their childish games. What is there to lose?

Try it, and if it yields results, good for you; you've saved yourself a lot of time and effort without costing you anything in return.