Re: person who likes you: The best advice I've ever heard about being the subject of an unrequited crush is "you owe them respect, you don't owe them a yes." Just as you would want the person above to be respectful of you, you need to be nice to this person, because rejection sucks. However, do not under any circumstances listen to people who try to pressure you into "giving her a chance" if you have no desire to be with her. You deserve the right to be with the person who makes you happy, too. And if she tries to make you feel guilty for rejecting her romantic interest (for example, if she acts like the friend in the second letter here), she is a creepy asshole, so don't take that shit. Not respecting a "no" is one of the best signs there is that you're on the way to Creepytown.
What's tricky about this is if you're in the situation where she hasn't directly told you she likes you, but you have a pretty good idea. I wouldn't directly tell her you don't feel the same way, if that's the case. I would try to hint at it. Don't LIE and say you already have a girlfriend, that you're gay or that you're not interested in dating (if you are) - because those will just turn out to bite you in the ass if say, you start dating the girl you DO like and this girl finds out - but maybe bring up a lot some of the other girls you find attractive. Particularly girls who look nothing like her. Or mention being excited about the date you have tomorrow with some other girl. After a while, she will start to get the point.
Last edited by Faye Valentine; 13th June 2012 at 11:53 PM.
I'm just having a really bad time at the moment. You see, I wrote a note to this guy I fancied, and gave it to a friend to give it to him (I'm barely in any of his classes). However, it seems that he read it out loud to his friends, so now I want to pretty much run away from school and hide. Obviously this means he doesn't like me back. But I guess I can cope with that. If he had just told me, 'no, sorry. I don't really like you', I would be fine. But now my whole year seems to know about it and I just don't know what to do. If he said no, I would have just wanted us to be friends, because he is (or rather, was) really nice to me and I thought of us as friends. I don't know if he thought of us as friends, though, so now it just seems like I've made a fool out of myself and taken it to far. If no one else knew, I'd have just thought 'well, that's sad, but at least I tried', but since everyone knows, I feel so ridiculous. He hasn't talked to me, and I haven't talked to him either. Now I just feel so apart from him, and I wished that I never said anything at all. Now I can't go anywhere without someone saying 'did you send Lewis a love-letter?' I just need some advice. He's not the kind of guy to be mean like that and tell all his friends, and I thought he took me seriously. I'm really glad he hasn't said anything, but I feel like I need to tell him something. Please help!
Either that, or do something to really confuse them. Anything. If people get confused speaking to you, they won't want to bother you anymore.
However, you shouldn't feel guilty about it. You did the right thing by being direct with them; the worst is when the person with the unrequited crush isn't being direct, because then you have to figure out how to let that person down without potentially embarrassing yourself should that person deny their feelings. The only advice I would give you is that next time, you shouldn't put your feelings in writing (which includes e-mail and texts, too) as those can be easily shared. Try to tell him in-person or on the phone, preferably in a private place. He might still tell his friends, but then it's easier for you to deny it. Also, think about how to say it ahead of time; just asking someone on a date is a lot easier to fall back from then some passionate confession of love.
But please don't beat yourself up about this. When you get older, others will appreciate your directness in these matters, trust me. He is the one in the wrong for being a jerk about it, not you. People don't owe someone a date, but they do owe them respect and caring. Since he probably doesn't understand how much this hurts you, I would try to talk with him privately about it. Tell him how it's ruining your reputation and making your life really embarrassing. If he's a good friend, he will listen and feel bad about it. If he doesn't do that, then he was never much of a friend and, as much as it may hurt right now, your life is better off without him. I had to cut a callous former friend and crush out of my life once when he was a complete jerk about my interest in him; it sucks when it happens, but in the long term your life is better for it.
That is so mean and rude.
You sent a note to him because you liked him. Not so it can be read out loud. You need to keep that in mind, first of all.
Second, don't feel guilty and embarrassed about this. You can just explain honestly to anyone who intimidates you or bullies you because of that. Also if you can, have a good talk with the boy. Talking to him is all up to you; I hope I don't need to tell you.
If it gets way out of control, talk with some grown-ups you trust, including teachers and parents. Hopefully they'll help you.
You got mail :3
I confessed to the one I have a crush on... Now she thinks I'm a creep.
Then again, I did bring it up several times...
I am also in need of some romantical-type advice.
I've got a close friend who lives a few towns over; I talk with her every day online. We occasionally meet up and hang out, and previously attempt to forge a relationship as we are very like-minded and both concidentally have Aspeger's. It didn't work out. However, I've noticed that since it didn't work out, somehow, it's still okay for us to hug and kiss. I consider her to be like a best friend atm, which might seem a bit weird given the aforementioned tidbit above, and she thinks of me as a boyfriend again. Neither of us know what to think and are severely confused on how to go about this awkwardness.
I think the two of you need to sit down and have a strong heart-to-heart about what exactly your relationship is. The two of you need to firmly decide whether you are just friends, or if you are in a relationship.
I need help getting over someone. I really liked him, but I recently found out that he was in love with someone else. She doesn't feel the same way about him, though. In fact, she was the one that said I should tell him how I feel. What can I do?
You know how hard it can be
To keep believing in me
When everything and everyone becomes my enemy
Remember guys, please be considerate and serious with your advice in the future.
I want to find someone... But I want it to be someone with at least one interest in common with me. I have no idea how to ask someone, or even find someone who looks like they might... What should I do?