Thread: Hard Getting Over Someone

A little over a month ago a guy I was dating took me to Disney. I had a great time then the next day he messages me on Facebook telling me I'm not a gentleman that his feelings for me were short term and that he wanted nothing to do with me. It hurt badly, and I've been hurting a lot since. I tell myself I'm over him, but I don't feel like I am. I just wish that I could find a guy who loves being around me, someone who is glad that I'm theirs, but basically my rock. Some guys are just mean. My straight friends tell me women are the same way though. I find them to be nicer most of the time, but I have no attraction to them of course.

There are much better ways to end a relationship than that--I see two possibilities for why they did it that way.

1. They couldn't tell you the real truth because it was something that hurt them too
2. They could find no reason and wanted to ensure you wouldn't ask later on and force them to give one.

This person probably has confrontational issues--meaning they never properly learned conflict resolution (surprisingly common in many people today...). Unfortunately, that means resolving it will be hard if not impossible for you. You may be better off just knowing that it is they who have a problem and not you, and go from there for your own personal resolution/acceptance.

Everyone is going to be mean at some point or another, regardless of gender, and some people are mean all the time and always will be. Other people will become steadily meaner because of others being mean to them (ensure that you don't do the same!). Whenever I start to feel down about not finding someone, I do this: 7 billion people in the world --> half of them male --> about a million of them are a good match for me --> several thousand of them are in my country --> a couple thousand live on this side of the country --> several hundred of them are in my state --> about a hundred of them are in the same area as I am.

From there it becomes harder to locate them, but still it's comforting to me to know that there are so many of them and I just gotta keep looking for them. And where will I find them? In places I like that they like too. Never listen to "Opposites attract" (that is true when you're young, but it leads to unhappiness later in life when married couples start to realize they have nothing in common. Then they do the wrong thing and look for new spouses rather than new activities to enjoy together). Instead, go where you enjoy and find people who enjoy the same things.