Thread: Friend Zone.

It kinda just happened to me. While she doesn't seem entirely certain, she did tell me that she 'wasn't sure if she loved me as anything more than a friend'. Not a good feeling, but I'm giving her space to think about it - since like I said, she didn't seem 100% sure. She's also against committing to an LDR, which is fair enough. We may end up in the same city next year, though, so if we do . . . who knows, it still may happen.

I think the most important thing in these situations is to strike a balance. Backing off completely basically ensures you'll never have a chance, but continuing to push and niggle at her is also a dumb idea, because that's just going to annoy her and show her you don't respect what she's said to you.

I've seen the term "friend zone" used most commonly by guys who act amicable towards a girl, and then are shocked or frustrated when said girl chooses not to go out with or have sex with them. The implication here is that the guy "deserves" to date or have sex with the girl as a reward for acting like a decent human being, which is a pretty misogynistic attitude.

Unrequited love totally exists, but the "friend zone" stigma is no more than a means of vilifying someone for exercising their right to choose who to enter into a relationship with.

Partly what Jabber said. But I also do think that there's a scientific element to it. Something like the Westermarck effect. I've grown close to so many people here on Bulba, and I can't see myself being romantically attached to them because I'm so close to so many people that they feel like family.

I've never been friend zoned because i just recognize that all my desire of romance are nothing more than momentary infatuations. Thus, I realize that it would be stupid to act on them. I'm pretty oblivious to relationship stuff, so i may have friend zone (not likely). From what I know the friend zone exist (i've seen it, it's brutal). I see some people friend zoning other and be completely unaware of it. I kinda think that they should be just like......bro no. And if they just can put that behind them then well......they just aren't even meant to be friends.

i... have, sorta.
i could tell that he did like me, but i kinda... already had someone? does that count?

I have alot of guy friends, most of which I kept in the friend zone since they are more like brothers to me. However, one of those guys in that zone DID ask me out and I said yes :). 6months later he and I are still together. So it's fair to say that some girls (like me) will eventually say yes to the men in the friend zone.

And to be honest, I couldn't be happier <3

...interesting situation. Me and the girl have been through a lot together, seen a lot of our friends (including mutual friends) go through some nasty stuff. And a lot of that caused us to friendzone each other. At the same time. In the interest of the long run. At least that's how I see it.

Never have been friend-zoned before, but I have let down quite a few lads in the past. Some people are just meant to be friends and nothing more, I couldn't imagine myself being romantically involved with them or even having sexual intercourse for the matter. It'd seem all too foreign and out of place - which is something I despise and avoid when relating to people in general.

Hello people of the friendzone. It appears that I've been pushed into your zone. Good evening.

I find that friends are a great place to find love, but it's not always a given. Some people recognize the potential for attraction but don't want to endanger their established relationship. Others are just blind or not interested. It really comes down to communicating exactly how you feel. If you are good friends it shouldn't be as frightening of an experience and you've got a foundation for good communication already. And if the other person doesn't share your feelings, that's not a bad thing. The worst thing you can do is get rejected and continue to challenge it. But if you're so worried about being the in the friend zone and your crush doesn't get it, you have to be open about it.

I'm always friendzoned. I liked to be seen as one of the guys really, I don't wanna be treated differently. I present myself as a friend and so I'm almost never seen as anything else. If I like someone i'd rather be their friend though, even if I do find them attractive. Friendships last a lot longer than most relationships and I've never really cared about romance and love. I don't feel like I need it to feel good.

I think I more or less grew up being friendzoned. Most of my friends in primary school were male, so the boys just saw me as another boy, or part of the gang. Even if I developed crushes on them, they'd never once feel the same way back, which to be honest was just fine by me. Friendships, in my opinion, are somewhat easier to keep than romantic partners. And there are some people who just aren't meant to be your boyfriend/girlfriend, but you can still have an abnormally deep relationship with them without necessarily dating them. I've friendzoned a few boys now I'm in high school, but none of them seem to have a problem with it.

I do not believe the friendzone exists. In my opinion, it is merely an excuse for someone who got rejected to blame the other person for having their own standards and taste.

Look at it this way - would you rather be rejected and completely ignored in the long run, or rejected and still treated as a friend?

To believe in the friendzone, is to fall victim to your own feelings of futility and pessimism.

I have a crush on a guy I'm kinda friends with. Does that count?

If I ever get friendzoned, I'd rather stay away from that person than stay friends. I can't stand to be so close to something I can't have! XD