HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread - Page 2

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Thread: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

  1. #16
    You don't know me. Jack Pschitt's Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by fabfab View Post
    A Jew, a Muslim, a Catholic and a Satanist all go to a restaurant and have a fantastic meal and great conversation without their religious or cultural differences spoiling the afternoon out.

    Then one of them doesn't tip because he's a cheap bastard.
    It was the Satanist, wasn't it?
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  2. #17
    Dauntless Fried Chicken Voltaire Magneton's Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

    Some Gypsy: How did you know who was the killer?

    Hunchback of Notre Dame: Let me say I have............ A HUNCH!

    (yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhh!)

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    Registered User Mintaka's Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

    I hope it isn't sad that I'm actually laughing at some of these jokes x)

    I can't remember all those simple teacher-and-student jokes, but some I remember. that most of you might already know

    1.
    Teacher: How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?
    Student: I wake up early.

    2.
    Student: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.
    Teacher: I agree, but that is the lowest mark I can give you.

    3.
    Teacher: At least there's one good thing I can say about your son.
    Parent: What's that?
    Teacher: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.

    ...I am terrible. =w=

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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

    Ready for a Missingno. original?


    The United States is still on the English unit system (feet, inches, miles, etc.), but a lot of people think that we should switch to metric because it is a lot more simple. Why do I think we should stick with English? Because I have a foot fetish.
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    That's nice.

  5. #20
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

    I think sentret's face is funny
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    Orange And Black October Serperiority's Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

    Here's a joke about literary devices:
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    You don't know me. Jack Pschitt's Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

    @Mintaka; Here's a classic for you. :B

    Teacher: David, how do you spell "quotient"?
    Student: Q-U-O-C-H-I-N-T.
    Teacher: That's incorrect.
    Student: No it isn't, that's how I've always spelled "quotient".

  8. #23
    Dauntless Fried Chicken Voltaire Magneton's Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

    Valentines Day Jokes!

    First:
    Have you ever experienced loving a person who is ready to climb the highest mountain, swim the deepest ocean, fight the most dangerous animals on a forest...
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Just to leave you alone? <///3



    Second:
    My love for you is like a candle:

    If you forget about me, I'm going to burn everything you OWN!

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  9. #24
    ☆ ☆ ☆ Cariad's Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

    Continuing on with the Valentine's Day jokes, I found a few ...



  10. #25
    maglev maglev's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Voltaire Magneton View Post
    My love for you is like a candle:

    If you forget about me, I'm going to burn everything you OWN!
    And that's why I rent my goods.
    maglev is invisible

  11. #26
    Dauntless Fried Chicken Voltaire Magneton's Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

    Probably my last Valentine's joke:

    Love is like hotdogs...



    ----

    John's trip to the museum:


    ----

    Mouths?


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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

    Which side of a chicken has more feathers?
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  13. #28
    Dauntless Fried Chicken Voltaire Magneton's Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

    Russian Meteor?



    OR


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  14. #29
    maglev maglev's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

    One morning, a Hell's Angel goes into a coffee bar and orders a large cappuccino. As he is about to leave, he asks the waitress for his bill.

    "Two pounds sixty," she says.

    The Hell's Angel produces 260 penny coins, drops them on the floor and leaves.

    This happens every morning for the next few days until one morning the Hell's Angel wants to pay with a fiver. Gotcha, thinks the waitress, who has been waiting for this day to get her revenge: she drops 240 pennies onto the floor.

    "Your change," she says with a smug little smile.

    The Hell's Angel produces a 20 pence coin and places it on the table.

    "Another large cappuccino, please."
    maglev is invisible

  15. #30
    Dauntless Fried Chicken Voltaire Magneton's Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

    Genie In Teh Bottle:

    Ugly Girl: A bottle! *rubs it*
    Genie: What is your wish?
    Ugly Girl: I want to be beautiful!
    Genie: Okay, open the bottle, please.
    Ugly Girl: And I would be beautiful?
    Genie: No, I'll just return back to the bottle.
    Last edited by Voltaire Magneton; 15th February 2013 at 09:36 PM.

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