HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

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Thread: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

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    TheMissingno.'s Avatar
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    Default HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

    I'm just kidding, make me laugh please. This will be the Outside the Box humor thread! Post jokes and whatnot or any kind of anecdote that isn't considered a joke but is still funny(?)!

    I'll start.

    Soviet jokes:

    Both the constitutions of the United States and the Soviet Union guarantee freedom of speech, but only the United States guarantees freedom after speech.


    Freedom of speech is the same in America as it is in Soviet Russia. In America, you could stand in front of the white house and yell "I hate Reagan!" as much as you want and you won't be arrested, just as in Soviet Russia you could stand in front of the Kremlin and yell "I hate Reagan!" and you won't get arrested.


    Latvian jokes:

    Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have gone Siberia! “More bread for me,” man think. But bread have worm.


    Q : What are one potato say other potato? A : Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?


    One day, hear knock on door.
    Man ask "Who is?"
    "Is potato man, I come around to give free potato"
    Man is very excite and opens door.
    Man at door say "Just kidding, is secret police."
    That's nice.

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    You don't know me. Jack Pschitt's Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Joke Thread

    My great-great-grandfather was from Latvia, so I take offense to these jokes. >:c

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    maglev maglev's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Joke Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Pschitt View Post
    My great-great-grandfather was from Latvia, so I take offense to these jokes. >:c
    That makes it slightly funnier.

    My old classic joke -

    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Philip Glass
    Jack Pschitt likes this.
    seconds to forever

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    You don't know me. Jack Pschitt's Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Joke Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by fabfab View Post
    That makes it slightly funnier.
    Actually, my great-great-grandfather was either Polish, Italian, English, or Irish, depending on which ones you choose. So it's not that funny. :I

    Here's the first joke I was ever told.

    What's the difference between a teacher and a train?


    I'm not sure if I found it funny or not the first time. If not, then I never have.

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    ☆ ☆ ☆ Cariad's Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Joke Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Pschitt View Post
    What's the difference between a teacher and a train?


    I'm not sure if I found it funny or not the first time. If not, then I never have.
    Oh wow ... that was ... xDDDD

    Here's one:
    Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?


    Clearly my humour is superior.

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    TheMissingno.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Joke Thread

    Skeleton jokes, eh?

    Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?



    How do you feel about anti-jokes? I feel they are pretty funny sometimes.


    An Irishman walks out of a bar.


    What is red and smells like blue paint?



    Why was six afraid of seven?
    That's nice.

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    You don't know me. Jack Pschitt's Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Joke Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by TheMissingno.
    Why was six afraid of seven?
    Stupid, that's not how it goes
    You really don't get this "joke" stuff, do you


    Nah, man, anti-humor is the bomb.
    Cariad and Julum like this.

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    Dauntless Fried Chicken Voltaire Magneton's Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Joke Thread

    3 Reasons Why I Am Lazy:


    URPG STATS! Claimed Dusknoir! Leppa Berry! Exp. Share! Pick Up! Parting Shot! Petalburg Woods Forums!

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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Joke Thread

    How did the hipster burn his tongue?

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    Simpler times ahead
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Joke Thread

    How does an atheist explain science to their religious significant other?
    "Funneh bunneh and the dammut Bahamut go on an adventure!"-Chespin Circa 2009

    I sure was funner back then, possibly even stupider....

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    You don't know me. Jack Pschitt's Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Joke Thread

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

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    maglev maglev's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Joke Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Pschitt View Post
    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    Lol.
    seconds to forever

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    TheMissingno.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Joke Thread

    I think this should be a general humor thread, not just jokes. So I'll leave this here.

    That's nice.

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    Dauntless Fried Chicken Voltaire Magneton's Avatar
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

    Random Person: Five members of a British boy band got hit with a single bullet!

    Me: It looks like the bullet went in......................... ONE DIRECTION!!!

    (yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhh!)

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    maglev maglev's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: HA! Don't make me laugh! - Humor Thread

    A Jew, a Muslim, a Catholic and a Satanist all go to a restaurant and have a fantastic meal and great conversation without their religious or cultural differences spoiling the afternoon out.

    Then one of them doesn't tip because he's a cheap bastard.
    seconds to forever

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