I've had a rather faulty experience regarding the dating world, and it's had a very grim effect on me. I've never had a girlfriend, one first kiss, or anything like that. It caused me a long case of depression, which ended when I started hearing/reading people's stories of bad & abusive relationships, and that produced massive pessimism in me, and remembering the nasty marriage my parents had increased that feeling.
However, the desire to have a lover in my life slowly returned, and on valentines day, I was so depressed that I was on the verge of committing suicide. My friends and family prevented me from doing that though, because I know that would greatly upset them, and I definitely don't want to do that.
My living situation right now is clearly preventing me from having a relationship, I live with my parents, I'm not going to college right now (there aren't any good jobs open right now that can produce a enough income for me to move out and get my own house), and I can't legally drive (seizures).
Most of us know that many women DO NOT like guys who live with their parents and don't have cars. Not only that, but because of that situation, I can rarely go to any social events or anything of the sort.
Well, even if I had full independence, I still wonder if the whole thing is worth it. After talking to one of my friends, she told me that it isn't as hard as I thought it was, but still...so many people end up getting emotionally devastated for the rest of their lives. After my dad got divorced from my mom, he was mopey and depressed for months. He even lost weight (going from 200 pounds to 150), and barely smiled at all.
Finding the right person seems almost impossible for everyone, and although I'd like to have a girlfriend and experience such a thing, I wonder if it's worth the risk.
On one occasion, there was a teenager who killed himself after his girlfriend broke up with him, and several other things like that have occurred in the past as well.
I'd like to have a lover, but at the same time, I didn't think it was worth the cost.