Human Stupidity Topic

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 20

Thread: Human Stupidity Topic

  1. #1
    Non-registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Wisconsin, USA
    Posts
    547

    Default Human Stupidity Topic

    Sorry if this topic already exists...

    This isn't accusing anyone here of anything, merely for telling stories about stupid things that people have done (like dumb criminals and Darwin Award winners). Please don't disclose them by name.

    For example...
    -A truck driver, wanting to thaw his frozen gas pipe, died when he lit a fire under his truck
    -A convenience store clerk who claimed he was robbed described a perfect composite of the robber: himself
    -Guys that wear bad masks, like The Beer Box Bandit. Enough said.
    -This classic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gv2QlFi4qVY
    -A woman sued the San Francisco Giants for giving Fathers' Day gifts to men only
    -The guy who broke into a police surveillance van


    And my favorite, taken from "The World's Dumbest Criminals" by Daniel Butler and Alan Ray:

    MISSION IMPROBABLE

    (British Columbia, Canada)

    "Justice Spyros D. Loukidelis of Sudbury recounts a tale of two buffoons from British Columbia who pulled into a strip mall to rob a small branch bank. They were as well-rehearsed and well-choreographed as a movie cast, but the end effect was more Marx Brothers than Mission Impossible.
    It began smoothly enough. The black sedan slid silently along the curb and eased to a stop. Two darkly-clad figures slithered out, crouched behind the car, and snapped out two black ski masks. Simultaneously, they slid the masks over their heads and stood.
    That's when they realized that they had both put their masks on backward.
    Blindly, they knelt and spun their masks around, then each drew a pistol with a silencer. Darting single-file behind the car, they leaped up onto the sidewalk, flattening themselves against the wall as they scanned the area with their guns. The leader whipped open the door, and they were inside.
    They squeezed off a round into the ceiling to maximize the element of surprise, but no one even turned to look at them. They looked puzzled for a split second, then both mouthed the word silencers. So the leader screamed, "Freeze! This is a bank robbery!"
    An elderly woman behind the counter felt obliged to respond, "No, it's not."
    The two men spun to face her. "What?"
    "This would be a Singer Sewing Center robbery," she explained. "If you were two doors down, now that would be a bank robbery."
    Cursing, the two men darted out the door and made their way commando-style down the sidewalk and into the bank. Breathing hard, they demanded, "We want all the money! NOW!"
    The single teller on duty immediately started to empty the money from her drawer.
    "Put it in the bag!" the leader demanded.
    The teller looked perplexed. "What bag?"
    "Do you have the bag?" the lead gunman asked his partner.
    The guy had to set his gun down to check all his pockets. "It must've fallen out when I pulled out my mask."
    His partner sighed. "Do you have a bag, ma'am?"
    The teller looked through several cabinets to find a bag. Then she made a great show of stuffing in fistfuls of money, mainly smaller bills. Quite tense by now, the less-than-dynamic duo grabbed the borrowed bag, bolted from the bank, and sprinted to their car. Now it was the lead gunman's turn to look through his pockets.
    "Wait," he said. "I'll be right back." His partner just stared as he jumped out and raced back into the bank. He never noticed that the teller was on the phone with the police. He was too intent on grabbing the car keys off the counter and hurrying back to the car where his partner waited. Finally, they got the car started and pulled away - just in time to be cut off on all sides by squad cars.


    Needless to say, those two geniuses get me every time.

    Anyone else have some favorite funny stories about stupid people?

  2. #2
    IT'S A CLEMUSKETEER!!! IslandWalker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Guatemala, the country full of COD-obsessed bullies.
    Posts
    2,851
    Blog Entries
    31

    Default Re: Human Stupidity Topic

    OH my gosh. People can be just plain stupid sometimes. I once heard of a robber who tried to escape on a lawnmover...at 3mph...

  3. #3
    ` double trouble!'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    3,541
    Blog Entries
    16

    Visit double trouble!'s Youtube Channel

    Default Re: Human Stupidity Topic

    Quote Originally Posted by IslandWalker View Post
    OH my gosh. People can be just plain stupid sometimes. I once heard of a robber who tried to escape on a lawnmover...at 3mph...
    LOL.

    Here's one.
    http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/local/crime/Stupid-Crimes-84171607.html
    Booze runner
    Police say a man suspected of stealing a bottle of schnapps from a Wyoming grocery store didn't plan the best escape route.
    The 26-year-old grabbed the booze, ran from the store and hid in a nearby building, which happened to be the police station.
    The man figured out where he was and fled, but not before a dispatcher spied him and alerted officers.

  4. #4
    No need for violence... Chebon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    6,583

    Default Re: Human Stupidity Topic

    Quote Originally Posted by IslandWalker View Post
    OH my gosh. People can be just plain stupid sometimes. I once heard of a robber who tried to escape on a lawnmover...at 3mph...
    Rofl, wtf.
    He was deff high or something haha.

    Thanks.
    [ Rest in Peace, Takeshi Shudo ]

    Awesome banner made by BlazaKing EX, thanks:)

  5. #5
    ` double trouble!'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    3,541
    Blog Entries
    16

    Visit double trouble!'s Youtube Channel

    Default Re: Human Stupidity Topic

    Quote Originally Posted by Chebon View Post
    Rofl, wtf.
    He was deff high or something haha.

    Thanks.
    It would definitely be a youtube-worthy moment though.

  6. #6
    No need for violence... Chebon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    6,583

    Default Re: Human Stupidity Topic

    Quote Originally Posted by double trouble! View Post
    It would definitely be a youtube-worthy moment though.
    Oh, for sure! Lmao.
    I would actually love to see that haha.

    Thanks.
    [ Rest in Peace, Takeshi Shudo ]

    Awesome banner made by BlazaKing EX, thanks:)

  7. #7
    Non-registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Wisconsin, USA
    Posts
    547

    Default Re: Human Stupidity Topic

    Hiding in the police station? XD
    Using a lawn mower as a getaway car... oh my god, I can't stop laughing.


    There's also the guy that gave his name and phone number to an attractive attendant... only to come back to rob her a week later just so he could see her again. Needless to say, the cops had him in one hour.

    A teacher watched porn on his computer while his students took an exam. He didn't realize that the computer was hooked up to the projection system, which was turned on. He took a week of sick leave afterward.

    We also have the bank manager that robbed his own bank at gunpoint. He compromised his own identity by wearing the same suit he had to work and identified the teller by name despite her wearing a nametag that only indicated her surname.

    Drunk guys do stupid things... or hilarious ones. Two Irish guys were pulled over a cop and, when he came up to their car and asked what they were drinking, the passenger said "No sirrrr, no sireee. We were just coming back from our Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. As you can see, my friend is on the patch." The driver simply pointed at the whiskey label on his forehead and nodded.

    A classic buffoon is the unarmed man that went to Bank of America and wrote a holdup note on the back of a deposit slip; fearing that someone had seen it, he walked across the street to Wells Fargo and gave the teller the holdup note: "This iz stikkup. Put all ur muny in this bag." The teller, knowing that this guy was a dumbass, rolled her eyes and informed him to either fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. He was arrested while waiting in line at Bank of America four minutes later.

  8. #8
    No need for violence... Chebon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    6,583

    Default Re: Human Stupidity Topic

    Quote Originally Posted by Andyman View Post
    There's also the guy that gave his name and phone number to an attractive attendant... only to come back to rob her a week later just so he could see her again. Needless to say, the cops had him in one hour.

    A teacher watched porn on his computer while his students took an exam. He didn't realize that the computer was hooked up to the projection system, which was turned on. He took a week of sick leave afterward.

    We also have the bank manager that robbed his own bank at gunpoint. He compromised his own identity by wearing the same suit he had to work and identified the teller by name despite her wearing a nametag that only indicated her surname.

    A classic buffoon is the unarmed man that went to Bank of America and wrote a holdup note on the back of a deposit slip; fearing that someone had seen it, he walked across the street to Wells Fargo and gave the teller the holdup note: "This iz stikkup. Put all ur muny in this bag." The teller, knowing that this guy was a dumbass, rolled her eyes and informed him to either fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. He was arrested while waiting in line at Bank of America four minutes later.

    Rofl.
    These are all real?
    Hard to believe what we have become lmao.

    Thanks.
    [ Rest in Peace, Takeshi Shudo ]

    Awesome banner made by BlazaKing EX, thanks:)

  9. #9
    ビルがある! NyaChan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    カノコタウン
    Posts
    2,320
    Blog Entries
    85

    Default Re: Human Stupidity Topic

    maybe not darwinism award winning, but something I experienced first hand.

    We have a bus system at my college to get students between the four smaller areas of the campus across some area. Most of these drivers seem to know what they're doing, however, the one I had on the way back from Japanese last friday... well... Not only did he pack the bus likely over it's capacity limit, but he ended up going down an exit one too soon. Realizing his mistake a moment too late, he stops, and attempts to BACK OUT of the exit.

    Being on that bus was horrifying almost. o_o I was just waiting for a car to slam into the bus oh my god...
    this should be really obvious but, I really don't post here anymore. I pop in from time to time, but I really don't care.


    Quote Originally Posted by Aiko Heiwa View Post
    Pokemon - The Only Series Who's Fandom Regards Differing Opinions As Trolling

  10. #10
    Just so Victoria, just so Mijzelffan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    The Netherlands
    Posts
    17,302
    Blog Entries
    315
    Follow Mijzelffan On Twitter
    Follow Mijzelffan on Tumblr

    Default Re: Human Stupidity Topic

    the kid who wanted to be a transformer and thus drunk gasoline. And not just a little. I could give you the source, but I believe it was Dutch, so you wouldn't understand it.


  11. #11
    IT'S A CLEMUSKETEER!!! IslandWalker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Guatemala, the country full of COD-obsessed bullies.
    Posts
    2,851
    Blog Entries
    31

    Default Re: Human Stupidity Topic

    Oh my gosh these things are EPIC! another epic fail robber-his cell phone dialed 911 in his pocket while planning a robbery with his friend. The police heard all of his plans and arrested them before they even arrived. ROTF.

  12. #12
    rewrites your life Soulweaver's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    West Finland
    Posts
    6,798
    Blog Entries
    99
    Follow Soulweaver On Twitter Add Soulweaver on Facebook Add Soulweaver on Google+
    Follow Soulweaver on Tumblr Visit Soulweaver's Youtube Channel

    Default Re: Human Stupidity Topic

    Quote Originally Posted by Mijzelffan View Post
    the kid who wanted to be a transformer and thus drunk gasoline. And not just a little. I could give you the source, but I believe it was Dutch, so you wouldn't understand it.
    Your source was not the original source. By googling "transformer drink gasoline", a plethora of English sources were available (the original source was from Shanghai Daily, I think). Here's one of them: http://www.slashfilm.com/2009/07/20/kid-drinks-gasoline-to-be-more-like-the-transformers/

    Here you go.

    Former staff member · X Pokédex status (incl. foreign dexes) · Bank Living Dex status · 3DS FC: 4699 6589 8963

  13. #13
    Non-registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Wisconsin, USA
    Posts
    547

    Default Re: Human Stupidity Topic

    Quote Originally Posted by IslandWalker View Post
    Oh my gosh these things are EPIC! another epic fail robber-his cell phone dialed 911 in his pocket while planning a robbery with his friend. The police heard all of his plans and arrested them before they even arrived. ROTF.
    ...XD

    Reminds me of the idiot who held up a 7-11, only to call the police when the attendants wouldn't give him anything. That's an honest-to-God true story.


    EDIT: Have to add this: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6718706/Japanese-man-marries-computer-game-character.html

    ...I mean, seriously? You marry some pixels on your DS screen?
    Last edited by Andyman; 13th February 2010 at 09:02 PM.

  14. #14
    Unregistered Non-User Vasili's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    In between the orbits of two valence electrons, significantly altering the chemistry of an atom.
    Posts
    574
    Blog Entries
    27

    Default Re: Human Stupidity Topic

    Quote Originally Posted by Andyman View Post
    EDIT: Have to add this: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6718706/Japanese-man-marries-computer-game-character.html

    ...I mean, seriously? You marry some pixels on your DS screen?
    Good thing he didn't marry Isabelle DuFontaine in Call of Duty 3,
    he would have been greif-stricken when she's killed later in the game.

    But God demonstrates his own love toward us, that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
    Romans 5:8

  15. #15
    ビルがある! NyaChan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    カノコタウン
    Posts
    2,320
    Blog Entries
    85

    Default Re: Human Stupidity Topic

    Quote Originally Posted by Andyman View Post
    EDIT: Have to add this: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6718706/Japanese-man-marries-computer-game-character.html

    ...I mean, seriously? You marry some pixels on your DS screen?
    You clearly don't understand Love Plus then. >_> Marriage may not entirely be a major part of the game, but... yeah.
    Last edited by NyaChan; 16th February 2010 at 03:17 PM.
    this should be really obvious but, I really don't post here anymore. I pop in from time to time, but I really don't care.


    Quote Originally Posted by Aiko Heiwa View Post
    Pokemon - The Only Series Who's Fandom Regards Differing Opinions As Trolling

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •