The Quotes For sigs Thread!

[Chao]

Got any epic quotes for peoples sig? Post 'em Here! They don't have to be real quotes, make them up on the spot!

[Dr. GM]

...I think the real fun is the challenge to find them, rather than make one up. Like this baby right here:

And stop nuking reality! I need that!

[Outcast]

Nvm.

[Kthleen]

Jesus came to earth to tell us to love each other, and we've spent the last two thousand years killing each other over how he said it.

The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

Pessimism is just an ugly word for pattern recognition.

Childhood ends when you find out there are no monsters in your closet........and that they are really walking the streets.

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.

In the land of the blind, the man with one eye will be stoned to death.

All great truths begin as blasphemies.

I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?
I DON'T KNOW SO IT MUST BE GOD

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

The Bible proves that people do as parents do, not as they say.

The eternal fate of the noble and enlightened: to be brutally crushed by the armed and dumb.

One time I was in a movie theater, and this guy was talking on his cell phone real loud. So I said, "Could you please stop? This is the movies!" And he said, "Shut up, bitch!" And I was about to give him a big ol' slap...
And then I looked at my WWJD bracelet, and thought, "What would Jesus do?"
So I lit him on fire and sent him to hell, and I feel a lot better for it. :)

A weird thing about humans is we work till we're sick to get a fortune, then pay a fortune to get well again.

Non-Reciprocal Laws of Expectations: Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results.

People ask for criticism, but they only want praise.

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you're a good person is a bit like expecting the bull not to attack you because you're a vegetarian.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

I said to Life, I would hear Death speak. And Life raised her voice a little higher and said, You hear him now.

Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?
To get to the same side.

43% of people were once senators from Maine. If you are on fire, put this in your sig.

I don't know what's sadder: my low opinion of people, or the fact that I can justify that opinion.

Your toast has been burnt, and no amount of scraping will remove the black parts.

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies, probably because generally they are the same people.

I used to ask myself "what would Jesus do?" but then I realized, Jesus was crucified, so maybe I should avoid doing what he did.

I wish I lived on a planet that had two suns---regular sun and "rogue" sun. That way, when somebody asked me what time it was, I'd say, "Regular time?" And they'd say, "Yeah." And I'd say, "Sorry, all I have is rogue time." It'd be fun to be a stuck-up rogue-time guy.

Apparently from what I've gathered, Good Friday is when Jesus was apparently crucified, or even when he died. Wow, if that's good Friday, I'd hate to see Bad Friday.

Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.

Pretend this says something witty.

Once we blow the shit out of ourselves with nuclear war there will be two things left: cockroaches and twinkies...and they shall rule the earth.

What the wise will do in the beginning, the fools do in the end.

No offense taken. I'll just sit over here. In the dark. Alone. Whimpering.…

Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.

Darwinian evolution =/= Pokemon evolution. You can't rare candy a monkey to level 55 and expect it to turn into a human. That's not how Darwinian evolution works.

[Dr. GM]

Yay! I'm uninteresting or respected! XD

[Zekurom]

Isn't there a social group for this?

Anyway, the one that's currently in my sig.

[Outcast]

Heheh... you should pretend someone said something by putting it in a quote, and make them sound stupid!

[Dr. GM]

...just remember. The real world is harsh, but your world, on the other hand, will be what you make of it...

[Kazooie]

No one wants to live in a world without cookies

[Enzap]

Heheh... you should pretend someone said something by putting it in a quote, and make them sound stupid!

Can I quote you on that? lol

I like the idea behind this thread a lot.

EDIT: Here's one

Yes, Iris and Kibago are buddy-buddy BFFs, we get it. And that makes her different from Ash and Pikachu how? Makes her exempt from a starter-class Pokemon how?

Like this:

Iris: "Professor, can I have a starter Pokemon?"
Araragi: "No! *smack*"