In this game, you have to make up something about the person above you in a similar vein to Chuck Norris jokes. Since I'm first and to get the idea going, I'll do one of myself, then the next person does one of me, then the third does one of the second and so on.
Sorry if this has already been done. If so, feel free to delete.
Instrutilus is the cause of the Ice Ages. Everytime he glares, the planet's tempurature drops from sheer fear.