I win because as do I.
I win because I feel horrible.
I win because of Whispers in the Dark.
I win because my dream last night involved me and my mom in a car. She was in the driver's seat, and I was in the passenger's seat. And she forgot how to drive, so I had to reach over and operate the gear-changing thing for her. She was going super fast, and I was worried. It culminated in us going off the end of the road, and landing on a bridge right below.
I think this means that a) I don't want to learn how to drive, and b) I've played a little too much Mario Kart.
I win because of Sveta.