Thread: Capture Contest: Kai-Mei.

Post #1.

***

You step into the area, a cold atmosphere in general being presented to you. The sun's light has been dimmed down by the presence of clouds, passing harmlessly above your head. Although not perfect weather for flying, a winged creature shoots past your face all of a sudden. It comes back, realising you are there, and hovers in front of your face. It's a Woobat!

Do you want to battle or run?

***

Trainer stats.
Trainer: @Kai-Mei
Items: 3 Park Ball; 2x Super Ball; 1x Hyper Ball; 2x Lava Cookies; 2x Energy Powders; 1x PokéDoll.
Pokémon Encountered: Woobat {MCR: 0/4,000}.
Pokémon Captured: None.

Pokémon.
Species: Infernape.
Gender: Male.
Ability: Iron Fist.
Nature: Brave.
TM/HM/BM/MT/SM: Swords Dance, Toxic, Solar Beam, Earthquake, Fire Blast, Rock Slide, Substitute, Roar, Hidden Power [Ice], Sunny Day, Protect, Return, Focus Punch, Bulk Up, Brick Break, Rock Tomb, Aerial Ace, Overheat, Focus Blast, Will-O-Wisp, Shadow Claw, Stone Edge, Stealth Rock, Poison Jab, Grass Knot, U-Turn, Flame Charge, Thunderpunch, Fake Out, Encore, Role Play, Counter and Endeavour.

OOC: Shall I mention you in these thingies?

"WOOH! TODAY'S GONNA BE AWESOME."

Or at least, that's what Kai would have said had she been a five-year-old and not currently feeling rather cold upon walking into the brisk air of Meteor Valley.

But instead, she simply shivered and scowled, wondering if perhaps it would have been a better idea to bring a jacket on the journey. You know, to the National Park, where the weather was usually in one extreme or the other. Apparently she hadn't thought that far ahead. If she wasn't allowed to bring in any other items, it logically followed that Kai would completely derp and not bring outerware. As it was, the typical t-shirt and jeans would have to cover for the time being.

Oh, and the fire breathing monkey. Yes, that would be a plus.

Her Infernape snorted at her, obviously amused at the antics of his trainer.

"Oh, just because you have a flaming mohawk doesn't mean you can mock," Kai muttered to him. He looked at her, still clearly laughing on the inside, and then scooted slightly closer to her so that the live fire on his head would warm her. "So... what are we supposed to do, exactly?" she asked, looking around awkwardly. The announcement had mentioned some sort of a Pokemon Catching Contest, so Kai had hopped into her time machine and manipulated the time-space continuum to exist both in the already destroyed Outer Heavens and in the Capture Contest, over a year in the future/past, in Meteor Valley. At the same time.

Just kidding. But much breaking of the fourth wall had occurred.

Her Infernape made some sort of grumbling-growling sound under its breath, and Kai glanced up once more from her ramblings. "Oh, yes, I suppose we should be moving. There's a time limit and stuff, apparently, and I'm freezing here. No offense," she added.

Another derisive snort.

"Aren't you supposed to be, like... brave or something?"

He looked at her strangely and shook his head. A pause, and then he nodded.

Kai was kind of sort of glad that he didn't have any sort of psychic mindlink or anything, lest the entire experience take a sudden and rambling turn for the worst. "Mind if I call you Fred?" she asked.

Another snort.

A flash of blue, and a winged creature darted past Kai's face.

"AHGODKILLITWITHFIRE," she screeched, suddenly remembering where they were. You know, in the middle of a Park filled with wild and vicious Pokemon. Breathing quickly, Kai turned to look at the perpetrator, prepared to order Infernape-Fred to fight it off with all of his considerable power...

...to find herself face-to-face with a small, blue bat. Covered in fuzz. With a nose shaped like a heart.

Infernape looked at her with a more-than-slightly amused expression, as if asking her if she really wanted it dead with fire.

Kai studied the Woobat carefully. She wasn't really sure about the specifics of the contest, but she knew that they were supposed to capture rarer Pokemon. Unfortunately, Woobat were fairly common in these parts, and she didn't want to tire Infernape out this early fighting a Pokemon who had two super effective types on him on only their first encounter.

...perhaps it was stupid to bring a fighting type.

"We'll try to sneak past it," she whispered quietly to Infernape, backing away as slowly as she could from the currently innocently flying Woobat, hands spread wide in surrender. "It might follow us, but if we're sneaky, it won't... hopefully... sorta... yeah."

Post #2.
You can mention if you want. ^^. I'll usually come to check, anyway.

***

You manage to ninja your way past the Woobat, surprisingly enough. Moving along, there are many pretty sights of the rather dull valley, with Pokémon popping their heads out here and there. However, something green and blobby presents itself to you. It meeps or does whatever Solosis do. Cutely. BECAUSE SOLOSIS ARE CUTE.

Do you want to fight the Solosis, or do you want to run?

***

Trainer stats.
Trainer: @Kai-Mei
Items: 3 Park Ball; 2x Super Ball; 1x Hyper Ball; 2x Lava Cookies; 2x Energy Powders; 1x PokéDoll.
Pokémon Encountered: Woobat; Solosis {MCR: 0/9,000}.
Pokémon Captured: None.

Pokémon.
Species: Infernape.
Gender: Male.
Ability: Iron Fist.
Nature: Brave.
TM/HM/BM/MT/SM: Swords Dance, Toxic, Solar Beam, Earthquake, Fire Blast, Rock Slide, Substitute, Roar, Hidden Power [Ice], Sunny Day, Protect, Return, Focus Punch, Bulk Up, Brick Break, Rock Tomb, Aerial Ace, Overheat, Focus Blast, Will-O-Wisp, Shadow Claw, Stone Edge, Stealth Rock, Poison Jab, Grass Knot, U-Turn, Flame Charge, Thunderpunch, Fake Out, Encore, Role Play, Counter and Endeavour.

There is, of course, no kill like overkill. :3
ALSO, I WOULD MENTION YOU BUT I SEEM TO HAVE CARPAL TUNNEL NOW. 'CEPT NOT REALLY. BUT YEAH.

Apparently Woobat squint so much that they don't notice the obvious. Such as, say, a teenager and a flaming monkey who nearly walked into it.

That's okay, though. The poor Woobat never stood a chance against the ninja prowess of Kai and her Infernape.

Except, not really. They just happened to get lucky. As if some extra-terrestrial beast was, somewhere, rolling dice on a whim to determine how their lives went and what they would see or do. Perhaps they would even determine what Pokemon Kai would see next.

...perhaps this greater being was listening to their thoughts.

Infernape made a sort of sputtering-coughing sound politely into one leathery fist, and Kai realized that she could stop tiptoeing around now, regardless of how much fun leaping behind every tree and rock really was. Because, you know, that looked really, really stupid.

"Yeah, yeah, we'll be going normally now," Kai said, looking rather distracted as she studied a rather peculiar looking leaf with interest. It had gotten entangled in her hair sometime on the third or fourth tree that she had jumped behind, but closer inspection revealed it to simply be a rather large and green leaf. Darn. "Which direction do you think we should go in?"

She was met with a shrug.

"Oh, yes, you're the helpful one."

He glanced at her appraisingly, as if to say, Well, you're the one with the map.

"Correction," Kai said, holding up a finger and smiling sheepishly. "I'm the one who should have a map. Good thing I left it back at home with all of our other supplies. And my jacket."

Another snort.

"Oh, yes, I'm so glad you're so talkative," Kai muttered darkly, letting the leaf fall from her fingers and slip to the ground. "I can tell we're going to have a great time together."

Infernape yowled cheerfully and mock-saluted her.

"Bipolar monkeys." Kai glanced around, glad that the Woobat was far behind them, and began to look around for another Pokemon to capture. Meteor Valley was surprisingly calm for being in the National Park, and the few Pokemon that Kai could see were far off in the distance and typically vanished before Kai could take a second look.

And, to top it all off, it was still cold. Kai grumbled something under her breath.

"Ferrrrrr..." Infernape sighed, looking slightly off-put by the lack of activity around them. Kai didn't blame him; he really did like to fight. Still, she worried that he would be at a disadvantage against the multitude of Psychic-types that were common in Meteor Valley. The appearance of Woobat only solidified her fears. Still, he was a brave fighter, and she knew that he gave it his all regardless of type disadvantages, as she had seen plenty of times at the Lavaridge Gym. So that was pretty cool.

"Hey, I'm not sure where to go, either," Kai pointed out, raising her hands in mock surrender.

Cue the repeat of the non-verbal conversation regarding maps. Except this time, Infernape raised his eyebrows and gestured, slightly irritated, to the surroundings around them, which looked identical to the other trees and rocks through which they had been walking for a solid five minutes. The very much empty trees and rocks through which they had been walking. Which, of course, contained absolutely no Pokemon for Kai to even think about catching, type advantages or no.

"Okay, fine, I've got a plan," Kai said finally, after roughly half a minute of awkward standing in silence within the trees.

"Nape?" Infernape asked her, cocking his head to one side and looking curious. Stuff like this almost never happened, especially around Kai.

"Yeah, not getting lost and not standing here doing nothing." She noticed Infernape's crestfallen expression and sighed. "It's a plan, isn't it?" she asked defensively. Flailing her fingers around, she finally pointed in a random direction. "We'll go that way, find a Pokemon, and it'll be totally awesome. Yeah."

She received a disgruntled sigh in response.

"Oh, yes, like you'd do better?" Kai retorted with a slight smile. "Then again, I'm standing in the middle of a forest, by myself, talking to a monkey. Can't be that hard. Just pick a random direction and go where the wind takes you, right?" Still more awkward staring. "Okay, okay, fine. We'll go in that direction because it'll put the sun to our backs and won't keep us blinded. Also, there's a slight breeze blowing, but it'll be coming towards us, not away; it's not strong enough to prevent us from making headway, but it'll keep anything up the road from scenting us in advance and it might let you get the upper hand on something. Also, we'll be going downhill from here and we'll make faster speed. Oh, and yeah, the Pokemon dens are likely farther away from the entrance and not within the forest, because most Pokemon that live in the Valley don't live underground or in the trees anyways. THAT'S MY JUSTIFICATION FOR GOING THAT WAY, OKAY?"

Infernape stared at her in amazement, and then grinned cheerily.

Kai sighed and shook her head. "I hate when people are so surprised to know that I actually do things for a reason," she muttered under her breath, fondly scratching Infernape's back while taking care to avoid the roaring flame near the top of his head. "So," she added in a louder voice, "do you have any other major objections for going that way?"

"Nape!" he replied cheerfully. And then, in a more concerned voice, "Naaaa..."

"Yeah, I suppose I'm a bit grouchy because it's Meteor Valley," Kai murmured distantly. "And you're out of whack because you miss him too, right?"

"Infer..." the fiery Pokemon replied, looking suddenly downcast as well.

"It's funny because you said 'infer' after understanding what I was talking about without receiving the full details of the--" Kai stopped talking at another bewildered glance from the flaming primate. "Okay, yes, walking now. Let's just try to find a Pokemon and have fun at the Capture Contest today, right?!" Her voice grew excited as she talked, and her facial expression brightened considerably. Even if it was halfway forced.

"Nape!" he replied, although his enthusiasm seemed much more natural than hers.

"Yeah!" she repeated.

"Meep!" said a voice from nowhere.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" Kai shouted abnormally loudly, spinning around. Things just had to keep popping out of freaking nothing and appearing right in front of her to scare her to death, didn't they? Yeah, they did.

"Meep!" it repeated insistently. Kai spun around, expecting to see another angry Woobat, but instead saw nothing. "That's odd, I swear I could have sworn that I something said--"

"Meep!" Very insistently, now. Sort of like an alarm clock.

Kai checked around her, and so did Infernape, but neither of them found anything remotely close to a meeper. "I guess we don't have to worry," Kai murmured, slightly uneasy. But the trees were quiet, now. "I mean, I was sort of worried that we would turn around all freaked out and find something adorably cute like that Woobat... good god, that would be so painfully cliché..."

"Meep!"

"Fernape!" Infernape shouted triumphantly as the bushes in front of it rustled and a large shape rose out of their leafy depths. He turned around proudly, as if saying Aha!

"Meep!" the voice cried once more, quickly joined by its owner, who rose out of the bushes. Its body looked like it was made of a pale jelly, roughly the color of industrial waste. Black, intelligent, beady eyes glinted as they studied Kai and her Infernape with malicious intent. The whole creature blobbed up and down, neither flying nor walking but remaining suspended in a state halfway in between, somewhat similar to how the tan-colored blob that slightly resembled its head floated in the midst of the aforementioned nasty-pukey-colored jelly.

"OHDEARGOD IT'S FLOATING CYTOPLASM!"

"Innnnn," Infernape hissed reassuringly, taking a few steps backwards to stand protectively in front of its trainer, who had doubled over...

...in laughter. I should really stop doing this whole double-take-double-meaning thing whenever I encounter a new Pokemon, she thought to herself.

But really, the whole Pokemon was so laughably ridiculous that it was actually quite adorable. Seriously. Floating cytoplasm. Filled with little tiny organelles. And cute, baleful eyes, a little pink nose-mouth thing, and an always present smile. Or perhaps that was the misshapen nose. Huh. There was even a little squiggle-sort-of-endoplasmic-reticulum-looking thingy that sort of resembled a bow, and the whole thing was really rather adorable.

"Meep!" it cried again, because apparently that's what every good little Solosis says, and Kai was rather relieved that it didn't seem bloodthirsty or at all vicious.

So, naturally, Kai was going to use her giant, fire breathing monkey to pound it into submission so that it would be captured and dragged from its home in a tiny capsule roughly the size of a baseball. She would then take its broken and mutilated body and probably present it to be judged at the Capture Contest, unless something more rare came along, in which case they would just rinse and repeat.

Kai sighed. "THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS," she mutter-shouted under her breath, slightly annoyed. "Uh... Infernape, I think we'll try to catch this one, okay?" Kai was actually slightly excited; Solosis was a cute Pokemon, and when it evolved into Reuniclus, it could be both an offensive and defensive threat. And it was still really cute. Sorta. Once she got over the whole floating-cytoplasm deal.

However, Solosis wasn't all fun and games. From what she could recall, the little jelly had massive affinities in using special-based attacks, and could strike with almost as much raw power as its evolved siblings. And it happened to have extremely powerful natural psychic abilities coupled along with that. While its defenses were still characteristically frail for such a young Pokemon, Kai knew that it could still pack quite a punch.

"Um. Start things off with a Fake Out, Infernape!" she decided after a moment of thinking. They would have to tread very, very carefully; she was in no mood to be vanquished by jello. As Infernape prepared to charge, she added quickly, "Be careful, though. If the records are right, that thing can use special attacks just as well as you can, and slightly better." He looked crestfallen. "I still think you're better than the jello, though," Kai added hastily, causing him to beam once more. Right before he prepared to attack, Kai shouted out one last command: "Once you get in close with Fake Out, try hitting it with a Shadow Claw to mess up its concentration, okay? It might be good at its psychic-typed attacks, but if it can't focus on you, it won't be able to hit you hard, right?"

"Fer!" he replied curtly, and then quickly began to dart in on all fours, moving with blistering speed.

Kai's plan was fairly simple. Fake Out might be considered a cheap move, but then again, it really was. It was a good way to start off a battle with some somewhat "free" damage, as it tended to cause the opponent to flinch and be unable to attack. However, two of the main disadvantages lay in the fact that Infernape would be close to its opponent, and a quick counterstrike was typically evident. Thankfully, Infernape was fast and could dodge most physical strikes with his superior agility; however, even he wasn't foolproof and it wasn't like he could engage Solosis in a mental battle, anyways.

That was where the Shadow Claw came in. Infernape wasn't a necromancer by any means, and nor was he closely linked with the Ghost-type, but he could use certain ghostly moves in a pinch. When he used Shadow Claw, he would surround his claws in strange, dark energy that glowed with arcane purple hellfire, although his claws would actually elongate and sharpen, allowing him to slash and hack with his normally much shorter nails. In addition, the ghostly energy was somehow linked to the depths of the underworld-- Kai really, really wasn't sure on the specifics, and nor did she intend to find out-- and the voices of so many dead souls was incredibly painful to the minds of psychics, who were empaths that could feel all of the minds around them. Well, most of them. This one was young, so there was always that working against them. Awesome.

However, the main plan was to get in fast, disrupt Solosis's concentration as well as they could, and then get out just as quickly. Kai didn't want Infernape taking that many hits, especially since they had a long way to go and he wasn't able to recover off his health well, for some reason. Hopefully, Infernape's natural prowess in hand-to-hand fighting would allow him to hit the Solosis relatively hard and manage to astonish it enough to take minimal damage in return. Hopefully.

"Don't get too distracted running out of there, right? If it seems more prudent to stay put, do so," Kai called out, as a desperate last-second command to her already moving Infernape. She knew that Fake Out gave Infernape the ability to move slightly faster than normal, as well, so that would hopefully give him an edge.

As embarrassing as it was to say it, she was halfway afraid that they would get beaten by the little blob of jello. Which would really, really suck.

Post #3.
My dice are horrible to you. I AM SO REALLY, REALLY SORRY. REALLY. LIKE REALLY SORRY.

[Park Lords] 9:35 pm
buoyysel rolled 1 8-sided die: 1

***

Infernape quickly starts things off with a Fake Out attack, clapping his hands roughly into the blob that is Solosis. It recoils from the attack, flinching away from the much larger (and also flaming) primate. As it screws its eyes shut in a bad reaction to the attack, Infernape wastes no time, following up the Fake Out with a Shadow Claw. His fingers glow a dark purple, and he slashes them down across the Solosis. However, the hit seems to affect the Solosis doubly, and it, undoubtedly, is knocked out. It floats through the air in its sleep, but attempting a capture would be useless now.

BUT YOU JUST MOVE ON ANYWAY OR SOMETHING. After walking a while more, some dark avian thing crashes into the floor in front of you. It picks itself up, and you recognise it as a Vullaby ('r maybe not, up to you). BUT IT'S A VULLABY. Whether you recognise it or not. Do you want to battle it or try fleeing?

***

Trainer stats.
Trainer: @Kai-Mei
Items: 3 Park Ball; 2x Super Ball; 1x Hyper Ball; 2x Lava Cookies; 2x Energy Powders; 1x PokéDoll.
Pokémon Encountered: Woobat; Solosis; Vullaby {0/15,000}.
Pokémon Captured: None.

Pokémon.
Species: Infernape.
Gender: Male.
Ability: Iron Fist.
Nature: Brave.
TM/HM/BM/MT/SM: Swords Dance, Toxic, Solar Beam, Earthquake, Fire Blast, Rock Slide, Substitute, Roar, Hidden Power [Ice], Sunny Day, Protect, Return, Focus Punch, Bulk Up, Brick Break, Rock Tomb, Aerial Ace, Overheat, Focus Blast, Will-O-Wisp, Shadow Claw, Stone Edge, Stealth Rock, Poison Jab, Grass Knot, U-Turn, Flame Charge, Thunderpunch, Fake Out, Encore, Role Play, Counter and Endeavour.

After all we did together. o.O
I ROLLED YOU HP SUCK FOR YOU... ;-;

"AASLDKJFLAKDSJFOADIFHALSDKFJAOSIDF," Kai spluttered as the Solosis floated away, somewhat unconscious. Apparently there was a line between unconscious and unconscious that Infernape had just pummeled into the ground, alongside the dead jello. God dangit. Seriously. It was, like, a one in eight chance that her plan would go wrong. It happened so infrequently that Kai didn't even account for it in her plans. Liiiike... really. Dang. Of all of the stupid things that could happen.

Infernape visibly wilted. "Naaa..."

Kai smiled cheerily. She had been doing that a lot as of late. "No, you're doing fine," she said encouragingly. "It's okay. We'll just do something cool next time."

He recovered quickly, to his credit, and they kept going. To a Vullaby. With a diaper made of skulls. Like, really. What?

"MOVING RIGHT ALONG," Kai said hurriedly, nudging Infernape gently with an elbow. "COME ON. NO SKULL CHICKS FOR YOU."

Post #4.

***

"SQUAWK." The Vullaby stares at the both of you. BUT WHO CARES, YOU WALK PAST ANYWAY. So, you trundle on down through the Valley and walk, walk, and do some more walking. How boring. Did I mention that you walked? Oh well, who cares anyway. Some elephant thing leaps from the top of the craggy rocks, splatting in front of you... but not really a splat, because that would mean it died. Anyway, the thing pushes itself up. IT'S A HYPNO OMGOSH. Do you want to flee, or run?

***

Trainer stats.
Trainer: @Kai-Mei
Items: 3 Park Ball; 2x Super Ball; 1x Hyper Ball; 2x Lava Cookies; 2x Energy Powders; 1x PokéDoll.
Pokémon Encountered: Woobat; Solosis; Vullaby; Hypno {MCR: 0/25,000}
Pokémon Captured: None.

Pokémon.
Species: Infernape.
Gender: Male.
Ability: Iron Fist.
Nature: Brave.
TM/HM/BM/MT/SM: Swords Dance, Toxic, Solar Beam, Earthquake, Fire Blast, Rock Slide, Substitute, Roar, Hidden Power [Ice], Sunny Day, Protect, Return, Focus Punch, Bulk Up, Brick Break, Rock Tomb, Aerial Ace, Overheat, Focus Blast, Will-O-Wisp, Shadow Claw, Stone Edge, Stealth Rock, Poison Jab, Grass Knot, U-Turn, Flame Charge, Thunderpunch, Fake Out, Encore, Role Play, Counter and Endeavour.

Kai stared at the Hypno for a long time. Like, a really long time. Like, six days, a long time. God, how she hated pedophile elephants...

I'LL PROLLY REGRET THIS LATER, BUT WYNAUT...

"I'm going to say something really stupid right now, and you're not going to question me on it, okay?" she asked Infernape calmly, looking at the Hypno out of a corner of her eye. "We're going to let the pedophile elephant leave and be on its merry way, 'cause I think I'd rather just see what's at the end of this contest than spend our time here."

Surprisingly, Infernape nodded calmly in agreement. And then he winked at her.

Kai grinned. "NINJA RUN!" she shouted, flailing her arms and running in the opposite direction of the Hypno. "WOOH."

Post #5.
Derp, forgot about this run.

***

You run away like some kind of demented chimpanzee... but then you remember something. CHIMPANZEES DON'T EXIST IN THE POKÉMON WORLD. The Hypno doesn't make an effort to follow you, obviously tired out from its attempt at a skydive from the cliff. It's a wonder that the damn thing isn't dead. Oh well. Moving along, you halt as a flash of white light fills the opening in front of you. Out from the light, a brown-banded Kadabra greets you, holding up its spoon like a... spoon holder-upper.

Do you want to fight or flee?

***

Trainer stats.
Trainer: @Kai-Mei
Items: 3 Park Ball; 2x Super Ball; 1x Hyper Ball; 2x Lava Cookies; 2x Energy Powders; 1x PokéDoll.
Pokémon Encountered: Woobat; Solosis; Vullaby; Hypno; Kadabra {MCR: 0/25,000}.
Pokémon Captured: None.

Pokémon.
Species: Infernape.
Gender: Male.
Ability: Iron Fist.
Nature: Brave.
TM/HM/BM/MT/SM: Swords Dance, Toxic, Solar Beam, Earthquake, Fire Blast, Rock Slide, Substitute, Roar, Hidden Power [Ice], Sunny Day, Protect, Return, Focus Punch, Bulk Up, Brick Break, Rock Tomb, Aerial Ace, Overheat, Focus Blast, Will-O-Wisp, Shadow Claw, Stone Edge, Stealth Rock, Poison Jab, Grass Knot, U-Turn, Flame Charge, Thunderpunch, Fake Out, Encore, Role Play, Counter and Endeavour.

Um. I'm sorry in advance. Like, really, really, really, really, really sorry. 'SNOT YOUR FAULT OR ANYTHING, AND I SWEAR I'M NOT JUST PULLING STUFF OUT OF MY BUTT TO GET MCR... I just was stupid enough to think of a plot when I started my first run (around February... of last year) for my RP, not understanding how the Park worked, and then I was looking at it and was like "GEE, THERE'S SO MUCH STUFF HERE THAT I HAVEN'T TOUCHED" and then I had the urge to write it all down in a single, crappy post because I didn't want to let it die and I'm not sure when I'll be coming back to Meteor Valley... O.O

SO, YEAH. UM. YOU CAN DOCK ME FOR QUALITY OR SOMETHING IF IT ANNOYS YOU. I'M SORRY, BUOY. D; Seriously. If there's something that doesn't make sense -- it prolly shouldn't, 'cause I'm referencing my first/only run a lot in this (sorrysorrysorry...), just ask me about it... 'r something... yeah... *Mareepish*

@Buoysel.


"Hey, we got away from the elephant!" Kai said happily as they ducked between another tree-- something that she had been doing far too much as of late.

And besides. Hiding a monkey with a flaming mohawk was really, really difficult. Especially seeing as they were in a forest, and it was all tree-ey, and it was dark.

Infernape muttered something under its breath.

<Not amused.> A voice. In her mind. A voice in her mind. A really, really loud voice in her mind.

"It's not an elephant. You're right," Kai said, biting her lip and stopping for a moment. Somehow, she found it easier to ignore things rather than talk about it. Infernape felt the same. So instead of asking about the odd feelings, she decided instead to mutter, "What in the blazes is an elephant, anyways?"

Infernape shrugged sheepishly-- er, Mareepishly-- and continued pacing, his leathery knuckles crunching through the dried and brown undergrowth as he nimbly picked his way around.

<Chimpanzee, stupid.>

Kai continued talking to herself, rather perplexed. "I had the sudden urge to call you a 'chimpanzee', too, but I don't know what that is. Huh."

Infernape didn't bother responding, but Kai kept muttering to herself anyways. "So I suppose the equivalent to calling you an 'Infernape' would be, like, a fiery Chimch... no, that's not right... flaming Infer... oh, bother. Whatever."

Infernape sighed pointedly, and shook his head, chattering loudly to catch her attention. Kai blinked once and then sombered up.

"Yes, yes, we'll call the suicide hotline for the little Hypno blighter later..."

<No need to be such a bastard about it.>

Kai focused again on ignoring the voice. AS IF IT WASN'T CREEPY ENOUGH.

Infernape shook his head firmly, now baring his teeth and sinking into a fighting stance.

"Now, now," Kai said firmly, shaking her finger. "I know that we're not supposed to make jokes, but this poor soul tried to jump off of a cliff. And then it didn't even follow us. WHAT KIND OF POKEMON DOES NOT FOLLOW US?"

Infernape was anxiously hissing her now, little sparks blazing from the top of his head.

"Okay, fine, so no Pokemon have actually followed us this whole run, but did you see the cuts--"

<LISTEN TO ME.> A sheepish pause. <Oh, and look behind you. For old time’s sake.>

Infernape hissed at her again, this time almost a snarl, and Kai finally had the brilliant idea to turn around.

"Ah," she said faintly, as she found herself face to face with a spoon-wielding Kadabra. It looked at her with wrinkled and highly intelligent brown eyes; Kai swore and took a step backwards. She had had a few bad experiences with Alakazam and their trainers, and she wasn't sure if she could imagine its probing her mind already with its psssychiccc mind games... Ugh. In fact, she'd had one too many bad experiences with psychic-types, period. Namely one.

The one in her head.

Damn psychics.

<Damn straight.>

Of course, she could force the voice away if she focused enough on something else. Kai picked an immediate target, settling on the Kadabra rather than any of her other immediate problems. It was difficult, yes, but she had the pressing issue of not going insane to worry about. Unlike last time, there weren't any Rangers like Ivy (to either think she was nuts or help her, depending), so Kai had both the option to focus fully and to get her brain turned to mush in the event that things didn't go as planned.

But enough about the pressing matters. There were Pokemon to be caught. Namely the Kadabra, which, thankfully, didn't seem to have moved since it had poofed itself into the clearing in a very intimidating manner. Then again, it really wouldn't have to move to attack.

This one looked younger, though; it certainly wasn't an Alakazam yet and might not be for a while, depending. While it still had that odd mustache thing, and it had already accquired its little spoony-things, Kai was glad that it wasn't quite an Alakazam yet-- as much as she believed in Infernape, she didn't want him going head to head with an Alakazam with so little time to spare. Now, at least, Kai was beginning to regret bringing a fighting-type to this contest-- as fun as it had been hanging out with her Infernape, Kai really hated putting him up against so many psychic-types. So far, they had seen only psychic-types, and Kai had used it as her major reasoning to avoid at least one of their fights, such as the one with the suicidal-omnicidal Hypno, for starters.

But, for other starters, she had a hunch that this was the last chance that Kai would have in the contest. As she glanced at her watch, Kai knew that this was the case: by the time Infernape and she made it past the Kadabra and found another Pokemon to perhaps battle, the contest would have ended and Kai would find herself with an embarrassingly empty catch. And that would be, like, super awkward.

So no, Kai didn't want to do that. And, secondly, although she had some bad experiences with Alakazam in the past, she wouldn't mind having one on her time. For one, it wouldn't try to attack her (well, hopefully, although... perhaps not...) if she actually managed to train it properly.

Still, for as bad of a history as she had had with the little blighters, Kai didn't know much about Alakazam. She knew that their pre-evolutions, Abra, were rather pathetic and weak, both in physical strength and diversity, and spent most of their non-sleeping time teleporting around and generally not attacking. Alakazam were known much more for their incredible prowess and ability to decimate things with the power of their minds alone, a fact that never ceased to amaze Kai. Psychics. She could never get enough of them.

<Purely debatable,> the voice, now bitter voice, said. Normally, ignoring that fact that she was standing with an Infernape and a likely telepathic Kadabra within a few feet (dangerously close to being able to wipe out her brains, but then again, it could probably do so for a larger distance than Kai would ever want to admit), Kai would find that disconcerting. Just a little. Given that she wasn't hearing the words with her ears, but rather in an echoing voice in her mind, however, Kai felt disconcerted.

She had let her mind wander.

Damn.

And given that she recognized the voice, namely as the voice that had been in her head and the source of her and Infernape's troubles on this silly trip.

Effing Meteor Valley...

<That's no way to treat such a wonderful place. I rather like it here.> There was no mistaking the bitterness in the voice. None at all. <I mean, you abandoned me here. I can't complain.>

Kai was already mentally running through her plans, trying to think of any way to make this situation suck less. She had no psychics in her party (obviously), and she lacked psychic abilities of her own (also obviously), so even a conversation like this, aided as it was by a powerful psychic Pokemon, wasn't going to end well for her.

<Of course it won't.>

Kai took a step backwards, frowning intensely. Her mental conversation was taking place at the speed of thought, but she didn't want the Kadabra trying anything while she was, you know, talking to the voices inside of her head. No. That wouldn't do at all.

Beside her, Infernape sank into a crouch, hissing and spitting at the air around him. Sparks flew from the flame on his head, and he bared his tiny fangs as he looked around uneasily.

He couldn't see Kai's assailant, of course, and neither could Kai. For all she knew, her enemy was far, far away, farther than the Kadabra or the suicidal Hypno, and farther than she could hope to find. It didn't even have to be here in Meteor Valley, although she strongly suspected that that wasn't the case.

<I'm right here, my dear child,> the voice said, ringing in the corners of her mind. <Don't worry. I wouldn't dirty myself in confronting you directly.>

Kai let her hatred and disgust for him, the voice, emanate through the mental link between their minds. Still, she forced her thoughts to have a mocking, carefree aspect to them as she thought to him wryly, "That's no way to greet an old friend, is it, now?"

<I could blow you up, you know. Wouldn't take more than a thought.>

Damn psychics. "That would break nineteen of the twenty-two Dimensional Treaties, you know," she retorted as calmly as she could to something that was threatening her with quick and violent death. "In fact, your being here right now is violating four. Five, depending on if you insist on threatening my well being."

At least that managed to merit the response she had been looking for. Between the fragile mental link, she could suddenly sense his hatred surge towards her, and a roiling cloud of anger that was dark and thick and black. It burned, but Kai knew that her terribly constructed plan was working. Somewhat. <Do not lecture those things to me, mortal. I was there when the Treaties were written.>

"Then know your place, as I know mine," Kai shot back. She sighed heavily, cracking one eye open and risking a glance at the Kadabra. It hadn't seemed to move, either because it too could sense the mental battle between Kai and the voice, or because it was charging up an attack to kill her. Or it was being nice. Either slash or, really. Or none of the above.

<Kai...> the voice sighed, annoyed.

"Fred," she retorted, with as much regality as she could muster.

Yeah. That Fred. The Fred-fake-psycho-super-friendly-happy-go-lucky-wonderful-Fred. The Deoxys Fred. Yeah.

Her Fred, to elaborate. Over a year ago, Kai had been charged to protect him and had been given the "honor" of serving as a guardian of a legendary Pokemon. It had to do with some sort of contest winning thing, apparently. She wasn't sure on the details. But she was aware that at previous points in time, the Deoxys had been passed from owner to owner, always temporarily, as a privilege rather than a curse.

And to start out with, things had been fun. Despite being a deity of the spacial cosmos who was thousands, if not millions, of years old, the Deoxys had had a very jovial personality and hadn't seemed to mind much. In fact, he had acted almost like a child to her, often saying and doing silly things that would cheer her up. They had started off simply, growing that tiny mental link until they could hold entire telepathic conversations, and the Deoxys had become quickly attached to her. He had even insisted on calling himself Fred, and had named half of the Pokemon in Kai's possession Fred, as well.

That seemed like forever ago, really, and in a sense, it was. Kai had entered a region of the National Park -- a different one from Meteor Valley, at least -- and Fred had accompanied her there. A few bad puns and a really, really overdone joke later, and Fred was still there, talking to her in her mind.

They were good friends. The best of friends. Or as close of friends as a girl could be with her giant red and green, quirky and somewhat regressed alien. So yeah, the best of friends.

Naturally, things would go wrong. Like, really. That was all to be expected.

<Oh, good, you can recognize me.>

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Kai whispered in her head quietly. She grew somber. "In fact, you nearly did make me miss it for the world.

The Deoxys grew annoyed. In fact, Kai knew that he was growing annoyed, because she could sense his emotions rippling off of their fragile mental link, the storm clouds growing louder. <I can still kill you. I thought you swore never to return.> He paused, and Kai swore.

That was the problem with psychics. Always probing, always reading, always flipping through her mind. And now, he had settled upon her memories. The more recent ones (thank god), but still. She could tell by the way that he had stopped his sarcastic musings and had instead frozen, like an Arbok ready to strike, curious and transfixed by her thoughts. Or, in particular, one thought. She could see his fury building, or feel it-- the words were ceasing to matter to her, now, in this conversation that took place in a world where time was of no importance -- and she knew that it would not end well for anyone.

When Fred spoke again, it was in a quiet, dangerous voice, almost mocking. <"The announcement had mentioned some sort of a Pokemon Catching Contest, so Kai had hopped into her time machine and manipulated the time-space continuum to exist both in the already destroyed Outer Heavens and in the Capture Contest, over a year in the future/past, in Meteor Valley. At the same time."> He paused, and Kai could sense incredulous disbelief from him as the mocking tone vanished for a moment. <Is that what you think of me? A time machine, and nothing more?> His voice was bitter now, and he could hardly stop himself from letting his emotions slip into turmoil. <And you're taking credit for this?> He paused for a moment before continuing in his high-pitched, falsetto version of her own thoughts, <"Just kidding. But much breaking of the fourth wall had--" did you think I was an idiot, mortal?> he asked her, pain and thunder in his voice. <Really!? Really?>

Kai couldn't help but smile at that one time, so long ago, when she had spoken with Fred about breaking the first wall. He had suggested that he do it more often.

But now... here they were instead. "I didn't mean it like that," she protested weakly. But she didn't really have much to say. After all, what could she tell him exactly? That she had been lying to herself, and to her Pokemon (although, obviously Infernape had noticed) because she had foolishly thought that it would make her feel better.

It hadn't.

But then again, barring the considerable angst, very little had.

<Kai,> Fred said, in a joking, mocking tone that made her blood go cold, <You're boring the readers again. Not to mention scaring and confusing them. And we wouldn't want that, would we?>

"Leave me alone," Kai whispered quietly. Next to her, Infernape had lost his anger too, as he looked around, bewildered, trying to find his former companion. The flames on his head slowly died down, and he started to relax, sort of. His leathery fists were still clenched and his jaw slightly locked, but there was pain in his voice. He couldn’t speak with the Deoxys like his trainer could -- after all, Kai had spent the better half of a year developing her mental link with the spacial being -- but he could see the pain etched into her face as she frowned and conversed with Fred. Kai sighed. "I'm sorry."

It was never that simple. <Just let it be like old times. You'll be in the National Park, trying to battle a Pokemon, and I'll be butting in with a flashback.>

Kai sighed. "Once upon a time, I could threaten you with a name and bribe you with cookies," she whispered, more to herself than him. "I miss those times."

<I don't. Foolish girl. What did I tell you?>

In the clearing, the Kadabra-- obviously unnerved, by this point, seeing as Kai had been standing in front of it, seemingly staring off into space for a minute, at least -- shifted its weight in some sort of Kadabra-way. Kai didn't know if it was attacking yet or simply bored and confused, but she didn't have time to find out. In the older times, she would have dismissed Fred and returned to battling the Kadabra, no questions asked.

But these weren't old times. Obviously.

<What did I tell you, child?> Fred insisted.

Kai sighed. There were, of course, some things that she would rather forget.

***

Sunshine, happiness, flowers. Unicorns. The whole nine yards. That sort of stuff. Happy stuff that is actually ominous stuff. Very ominous stuff. No one likes very ominous stuff.

Well, someone out there must, because it happens and continues to happen.

It’s roughly six months ago, give or take. In case it was important.

Anyways. There is rainbow fluff. No, it’s not an acid trip. But in the center of all of the rainbow fluff is a girl. She sits alone, but she doesn’t act like she is. No. Instead, she’s talking to someone, cocking her head occasionally, looking around carefully. Pausing. Because she’s talking to the voice inside of her head again, the voice that actually belongs to a creature that she knows as a Deoxys. She hasn’t seen him face-to-face—she’s not supposed to let him out of his Pokeball, actually, but she knows him well enough.

Still, the Pokeball in her lap was empty. She had broken the rules often, let the Deoxys roam around and stuff. She didn’t want to feel like his jailer.

Still, it was odd not to see his face when she could see his thoughts. Concern and fear suddenly washed over him, remnants of the emotions that were suddenly from him.

Kai looks up with concern. “You okay?” Sometimes, she’s amazed by how little she understands him. She was a guardian of a legend. For a year, no more. No less. Although she had kept the Deoxys hidden for a long time (more out of her concern for her inability to control him, rather than fear of anything else -- the irony is rich), she had grown to like him. They had become friends. Good friends.

<...No.>

That much, at least, does cause her worry. She tenses in alarm, eyes darkening, and frowns. She does not dare use the mental link now, both because she is tired and because she doesn’t want to intrude. Besides, he is somewhere in this clearing, not even half a mile from the National Park—it had taken a while, but she had finally made it out of Outer Heaven, and he can hear her. “Why?”

Her tone is gentle, and she means no harm.

However, the Deoxys bristles. How can she not know? It is so important to him. There is so much hurt there. How could she not know?

Well, no, that is a foolish question. She is a mortal. Her life is but a breath compared to him. Of course she would not know. Perhaps, if she does know, she will understand. He knows that Kai is rational. <Long ago>, he begins, < There was a planet. A wonderful planet. A wonderful planet filled with wonderful things. It had two suns that rose in the south each night, and the sky was a deep, husky emerald. The world was a strange one, not at all like yours, but it was glorious. There was a species there, a great and powerful race who are unmatched in all of time and space. There were many there.>

She is confused, obviously. Obviously. She has every right to be confused. Anyone would.

<Wonderful things happened,> the Deoxys added quietly, <but things do not last forever. The creatures there were powerful, yes, but they grew too powerful. They grew corrupt. So when one of their kind attempted to stop the madness that they were creating, he was instead exiled.> His voice filled with contempt. <Exiled, to a horrible, terrible planet bounded by gravity. Only one sun, and hundreds of thousands of miles away from it. Not a single galaxy within teleporting range, and no life for miles around. A single moon, and a sky as dull as broken glass.>

Kai is catching on to something, now, at least. He allows the comprehension to dawn on her face for a little more before he continues.

<So while these other creatures -- your name for them in this language is “Deoxys” -- are powerful, this lone Deoxys could not return to his kind. Not because he didn’t want to..> Here, he paused gravely, and suddenly the happy stuff didn’t seem quite so happy or stuff-y any more. After a moment, he jerked upwards and continued, <Although that was certainly the case, for his kind had grown cruel after millennia of unbridled power and majesty... but because, for all of that unbridled power and majesty, he was unable to. Unable to return to that planet with emerald skies, unable to leave the one with the single sun. Trapped. Alone.>

Kai definitely understands what he’s getting at here, although she makes no motion to interrupt him. Good on multiple accounts.

<When he arrived, the planet was mostly empty. There were certainly no humans. So the Deoxys hunted the skies for a long time, always alone, searching for a way back. He knew the risks. He knew that he had been exiled for leaving, but he still wanted to return. Because his loneliness was a terrible and bitter pain, because he wanted to return to their ways. But for all of his efforts, he could not. He simply traced the same trajectories across the lonely skies of space, unable to return to the planet he had left behind.>

Kai is staring at him hard, now.

<So instead, he returned to that lonely little planet, which had grown since he had last visited. Mankind had never seen him, although he had watched them grow, so instead the wanderer slipped into legend. Remnants of a world unattainable. So after time passed, he found solace among the humans.>

Here, Kai visibly flinched. He watches as her hand goes up to cover her mouth, how she understands and stares at him in a completely different way. She will probably always look at him in that way from now on, he realizes.

<For a year, he would visit a human, and no more. He had made the mistake of staying with one human for too long. It was a horrible, horrible mistake. The Deoxys had watched as the boy withered away before his eyes, the child’s life extinguished in a matter of a century, and the Deoxys had been left hollow.> Here, he paused again. Painfully. Some times he wondered why he bothered admitting things like this, when it hurt him so much. <He named himself Fred, in memory of the one he had lost, but it wasn’t enough. It was never enough. Because for all of his unnatural, unworldy power, the Deoxys had been unable to combat death. Who wants to live forever?>

Mute comprehension dawning on her face. Fred is happy. At least she is not as slow as the others.

<So the Deoxys made up his mind then: he would remain on the Earth that had given him shelter, and he would serve as its protector.>

”You?” Kai asks, and Fred is hurt by the disbelief that drips from her voice like morning rain. It’s not fair. She’s known him as a trickster, a joker. Of course she has. That’s what he wanted her to know.

<I planned it carefully, to prevent mistakes,> Fred says, fixing her with an intelligent gaze. He blinks. <I didn’t want the mortals to catch on that I was helping them, nor did I want to endure the pain of watching my companions die. I may be a cosmic deity, but even I cannot win against time.>

Kai stares some more, and Fred wonders if she spends all of her days like that. “You’re the one who saves the world,” she whispers, shocked.

<Some years, I’m not around,> he admits sheepish... er, Mareepishly. Sometimes, he’s not there. Things go to shit then. <There was that one incident with the Rayquaza...>

And then there were some years, where things went to far. Years like the one in which he met Kai, who had inadvertently changed him forever.

He sees her now and wonders if this is the way that things are supposed to end. Perhaps they are. In the very least, he can confuse the hell out of anyone who bothers paying attention. That thought gives him some solace.

He has become attached to the tiny, insignificant mortal in front of him, yes. But things are different. He is filled with hope and promise and a way to escape.

"You never told me any of this," she whispers to him, pain in her eyes as she stares at him. Shocked. “I would have helped.”

<And done what?> Fred asks her bitterly. For, in reality, what could she do? She could not even fathom the pain he felt, and she cannot now. He knows that. But still, there is something so kind, so undeniably human in the way she looks at him, that makes him sad again.

“Something,” she whispers gently, reaching out timidly to him. He’s almost forgotten about the storm. Almost. Because no one likes ominous things anyways. “Anything,” Kai whispers.

He tries to smile. It’s hard, because Fred is fairly certain he lacks a mouth. <No one can. I don’t mind I’ve found a way to fix it, anyways….>

{I do.}

Fred recognizes the voice. He tenses instantly, still unseen, and is not amused. No. He is afraid, because he knows that the speaker bodes no well for either of them.

Kai feels his fear, too, and she is paralyzed by it, even though she doesn’t understand why. “Who’s there?” she manages to ask shakily. “I warn you, I’m not helpless!” It’s an empty threat. Anyone can tell. Besides, her phrasing and wording there just sounded stupid.

{Foolish girl,} the new voice says, and Kai and Fred bristle. {I know that you have the abomination with you. And I can defeat him.}

”Can he?” Kai tentatively asks Fred, forcing the mental link open for just a second to ask him. She senses grudging affirmation and hurriedly withdraws, fearing the enemy more. “Who are you?” she calls out.

She doesn’t receive a verbal response. No. That would be far too simple and undramatic. Instead, there’s a blinding flash of light, brighter than the sun, and Kai is forced to cover her face as the winds suddenly whip up around her. When she finds herself able to look around again, she’s face to face with god. Literal god. Or, really, Pokemon god. Either slash or. Goat god, towering over her, white fur immaculate and shining, the yellow ring around its midsection whirling constantly and flashing different colors. Arceus.

“Oh,” she says faintly.

<Damn,> Fred mutters.

{What are you doing, interfering with the affairs of mortals?} the goat-god asks. Its voice emanates from everywhere and nowhere at once, and the very earth seems in awe of its presence.

<It’s nothing new,> Fred admits sheepishly. He pauses as Arceus growls at him, and then added, <Been doing it for roughly a hundred years now, at least. Off and on.>

{And it was wrong. You may not be of this universe, but you must abide by its rules.} The Arceus looks around impassively. When it receives no response, it bellows angrily to the skies. {Well, aren’t you going to answer me?}

”You told me that you were on good terms with Arceus,” Kai tells Fred faintly.

<I lied.> Obviously. <He doesn’t approve of my attempting to, you know, save your planet.>

{Aren’t you going to answer me?} The question is repeated. Apparently, goat-god cannot hear the mental conversation between them.

There’s a long silence, and then there’s a blazing flash of red, faster than light. Red like the morning sky, red like fire, red like blood, and then that streak of red is dodging and weaving around the Arceus faster than the eye can truly see, zipping in and out with lethal speed. Where it moves, the goat-god roars in agony. Great slashes open up on the immaculate fur as the red and turquoise creature zips by.

Kai is shocked. Things aren’t working out calmly today, it seems. First, her somewhat-imaginary friend reveals himself to be an alien. Then she sees god, and now god is being attacked. She repeats that again to herself. God is being attacked.

Holy mother of god.

…oooh, that was a terrible joke.

And the worst part was the goat-god wasn’t really doing a good job of fighting back. Kai was afraid. This was a creature that could take down Fred, her Fred, with only a few words. And now it was being destroyed by something she couldn’t even see.

Holy shit.

…That was more like it.

The Pokeball is in her hand in an instant, the flash of light in another, and then her Infernape materializes, gritting its teeth in the third. She’s pointing her hand at the blur, and time slows enough for her to look at it. It’s that same, angry red, red like blood, but its got whipping tentacle-like arms and an impassive face that remains emotionless even as it smacks the goat-god on the back of the neck, and hard. Kai cringes. There’s a purple gem in the center of its chest, one that flickers and changes hues a million times per second, and its body is constantly changing. Attack, defense, speed. All at once.

And then it freezes right before it’s about to deliver the finishing blow to the goat-god. Not out of compassion, not out of kindness, not out of fear. No. It freezes because there’s something that just smashed it into the ground with devastating force, and then suddenly it’s cloaked in flames. And then it begins to fall. Even so, it doesn’t lose consciousness quickly enough to not see Kai staring at it, still pointing her finger and ordering Infernape to attack it.

There’s a curious expression on its face, one that Kai recognizes a bit too well, and she suddenly understands what’s going on for, like, the third time today.

“Fred?” she whispers, horrified.

Oh, god. She had never seen his face. She had never seen what he had looked like, and now she understood why.

Oh, god.

Speaking of god… Arceus casually dusted itself off and sighed, shaking its legs. Golden light washed over its body, and it easily healed itself within a few moments. {That was… unexpected,} it said, looking at Kai with an intelligent eye that burned with the knowledge of eons.

“What… what the hell just happened?” she asked, horrified.

{You should know,} Arceus snorted, looking at her with a strange mixture of pride and disgust. It nodded in her direction. {Your Infernape attacked the Renegade and happened to incapacitate it. I believe they call those moves “U-Turn” and “Will-o-Wisp” in your language.}

“Not that,” Kai hisses in annoyance, clenching her fists. No. She’s pointing now at the feebly stirring Deoxys –now that she knows what the look like—on the ground, and she’s pissed. ”What did you do?”

{I?} Arceus asks her mockingly. {I didn’t do anything.}

“Don’t play games with me.” Kai would stop for a moment to realize that she’s just threatened Pokemon-god, but she doesn’t bother. No. She’s angrier than that.

The goat-god sighs airly, examining its newly regrown fur with apparent boredom. {Your somewhat-imaginary best friend is an alien who got exiled from his home planet after nearly destroying it in a fit of anger. He’s millions of years old, can manipulate the cosmos to his whim, and is responsible for the vanishing of at least twelve species. Ever heard of a chimpanzee? No? He’s why.} Arceus sighed, this time warily, and then looked away. {That’s the short version.}

Kai is floored. Shocked. Bamboozled. Star-struck. Incredulous. Et cetera, et cetera, because what the hell just happened.

{He lied,} Arceus says quietly.

<He changed,> Fred says quietly, pulling himself upwards. His voice is bitter, and he looks at Kai with what might even be hatred. Kai backs away. This is all a misunderstanding, and she knows that it can be fixed. She recalls Infernape back to his Pokeball, for starters.

There’s a tone in Fred’s voice, though, one that rings of betrayal, and she’s not so sure if it’ll be that easy. <He changed. He grew soft. He came from a race of warriors who were meant to destroy worlds, but he dared challenge it and tried to stop. He tried to be kind. He tried to make friends. He tried to help the mortals.> Fred’s glaring at them both, now, levitating off of the ground. <He was mistaken, apparently, and now he is regretting his change of heart. He should have known that mortals are fickle. He should have stopped trying.>

Arceus, surprisingly, has made no motion to stop the Deoxys as he stands up again. It becomes less surprising, though—goat-god is locked in place by wavering tendrils of psychic energy, unable to move.

<He should have returned home when he had the chance,> Fred continues, in that same terrible, terrible voice as he levitates himself into the air again, tendrils waving in unison. He, too, seems able to form himself, and he regenerates his missing chest in an instant (apparently, everyone can do that today). <He should never have trusted them. Humans lie. They always do.

Kai is afraid of him now. She has never seen him like this. Not ever. She sees the hurt awakening in his eyes, and she knows that no words will make him forgive her. “He… he didn’t always save the world, and I wondered for a moment why,” she whispers, realizing it with horror. “Because sometimes, he would look upon this world and turn away in shame of the planet he swore to protect.”

Fred nodded carefully, glaring at both Kai and goat-god. <But no longer.> He looks at her for a long moment, almost sympathetic. <I’ve always been able to go home. I just haven’t, because I’ve been kind. I didn’t want this world to burn, but now… now I don’t care.> There was a pause, and Arceus frowned. Fred looked at him with a mixture of respect and disgust. <I’m sorry… sir. You have both been kind to me, but I have overstayed my welcome.>

And then he spreads his arms apart, and time seems to stop.

No, correction. Time literally stops. The trees do not rustle in the breeze, the Pidgey do not sing, and there is only silence. Nothing moves except for the Deoxys who stands at the center of the ripple, all-powerful and all knowing. <All I ever had to do to return home was create a black hole. Child’s play. I could do that before I could walk. But the resulting event horizon would devour the planet.> A painful pause. <I don’t really care any more.>

No one ever bothered telling Kai how fickle gods could be. Seriously. For a thousand years, he had been content, and then now he was—ohdeargoddidhesaydevourtheplanet.

In the distance, there’s a massive explosion. Birds screech and fly into the air before freezing in time, and Kai manages to look just in time to watch as the ground roughly half a mile away explodes.

Or, more accurately, crumbles. Because Outer Heaven is falling in pieces to the ground before also being frozen in time.

What does a black hole forming look like? Kai doesn’t know, and she has an aching hunch that no one who has seen it happen can tell the story. Except perhaps Fred, and she’s not about to ask him that right now.

Because, holy god, the world is ending.

Speaking of god.

{You shouldn’t have done that.}

Time restarts with a jolt, and then the world is washed out in white. Literally, washed out in white. Kai is standing on something, she knows, but she doesn’t know what. It’s just there, and so is she. And so is Arceus, and so is Fred, but besides that, there is only blinding light.

Kai blinks, amazed, trying to find where the blazes she is.

Or, actually, she could just ask. “Where the hell am I?”

<Temporal vortex.>

Kai can’t help but be bitter. “Thanks for explaining.”

Goat-god pipes up now, although it doesn’t sound happy. {I contained us within the temporal vortex—the center of time and space,} it adds, noticing Kai’s strained expression, {to prevent anything else from being destroyed. Although I seem to have failed saving Outer Heaven… a pity. I lived there, you know…}

Fred scowls.

“That’s nice,” Kai mutters, “and slightly trippy, really—hell, this whole thing is—but… uh…”

<Can’t leave,> Fred says with a sigh. <It’s as possible as my returning to my planet.>

“…what.”

***

<Bored now,> Fred muttered in her mind. <Seriously. I thought that you used to ramble before, but this… this is just insane. Someone’s going to kill you for this.>

”Like you?”

<Ah. Touche.> He paused. <Well, you can finish dealing with this later. The Kadabra is looking rather peckish.

”Since when did you care?”

<You’d be surprised, Kai...>

And, in a rather anti-climactic manner, his presence flickered out of her mind again. Kai swayed on her feet, shocked, but knew that she could not find him. There was no time to think of that, though, because, unfortunately, Fred was right—the Kadabra was going to attack her soon. Very soon. If it hadn’t already (she checked her vital organs and those of Infernape. Just in case. They were still there, thankfully).

And then she was alone. Not trapped, just alone. And it was a horrible, horrible feeling. She hated it, but she couldn’t let anyone know. Because that was how she worked. She was Kai. Slightly insane, odd, eccentric… but never a whiner.

Oh, and she was facing a Kadabra. Seriously. With all of the flashbacks and mental conversations, she could’ve forgotten all about that.

“Infer…” Her Pokemon was obviously worried, but he doesn’t seem afraid of the Kadabra.

“It’s okay,” Kai whispered with a weak smile. “Just battle the Kadabra, and then I think we can go home, okay?” He nodded, although he is uneasy, and prepares himself for, like, the third time. She hadn’t thought about battling the Kadabra at all. Funny, really, how a cosmic deity could be really distracting like that. Oh well. She frowned, and then said the first pair of Pokemon moves that came to her mind. “U-turn, then Will-o-wisp. Use the trees.”

She froze with horror, understanding, but she doesn’t correct herself. Infernape looks at her for a moment, also uneasy, but then nods in confirmation and lunges forwards with a yowl.

Kai had seen it happen before. That had been how they had, purely by luck, managed to dispatch a god. It was a horrible but somewhat decent strategy at the same time, simply because of how the moves actually ended up working together. She had seen it work.

In a different time, in a different place, Infernape had leapt forwards, snagging onto nearby trees as he ran with his strong, leathery fists. He could use them to turn his momentum towards whatever direction he wished, and he whirled around quickly, building up speed before launching himself at the Kadabra, which was bound to attack them now (Kai realized that most of her mental struggle had taken place within a thought, although… she could never be sure. Eh).

With the additional spin and speed, Infernape could then springboard directly off of Kadabra, causing a significant load of damage to Kadabra in the process. Kai remembered that time when he had used it on Deoxys without even being commanded to do so. Infernape had rushed forwards, hit hard, and gotten away quickly. In a real battle, he would be able to return himself to his Pokeball, but this wasn’t large enough for that—if Infernape fled to his Pokeball, the Kadabra would simply attack Kai instead.

No. Infernape would perform his attack, and then he would just sideways to an unpredictable (well, for non-psychics… oops) location. That’s how he liked to use U-Turn. He’d go in quickly, hit hard, and then leave just as quickly, because that was how he battled. It wasn’t really being cowardly, even if it sounded like that.

To top it off, Infernape would produce tiny flames from the larger one on his head. The smaller spheres of fire acted like they had a mind of their own – Kai had always been surprised to know that they weren’t the same type of ghostly energy that other attacks, like Shadow Claw, was. They would whirl around the target for a bit, trolling around and generally doing silly things—which meant they missed often. The genius within Will-o-Wisp, however, was that it didn’t deal direct damage. Instead, it would cloak the target in flames, a condition that many Pokemon, deity or not, found distracting. Seriously. It was hard to attack when something was on fire, especially skin. While Kai knew that the burns were more painful to Pokemon who used their fists to attack, rather than the ones like Kadabra who preferred to use their mental prowess, the damage that the burn would provide was always helpful. Perhaps, if she was lucky, so would getting hit in the face—after all, even though it wasn’t even evolved yet, the Kadabra could literally wipe out her Infernape with two attacks. She didn’t want that. He was brave, but not that brave. While the Park had provided her with items to use on Infernape if he was injured, she didn’t think she would be able to help after a certain stage. Or if both of them were kersploded by a squinty fox-thing.

Perhaps, Kai reflected, as Infernape raced towards the Kadabra, the added burn was a stupid touch. She had heard of strange Kadabra from a different planet (she struggled here not to think of Fred) who had a special ability. Magic Guard, they called it, where a Pokemon could somehow ignore some of the side affects of Pokemon moves. She knew that Abra and its evolutions could occasionally possess this ability, although she had no idea how it worked (seriously. How could a Pokemon not notice that it was on fire?), meaning that she would have wasted valuable time with her Infernape. She didn’t want that happening. As disadvantaged as they were, she couldn’t afford to lose any ground. So, yes, Kai was playing riskily again. That’s normally what she did. She couldn’t help but smile faintly as she watched Infernape charging in, preparing to divert his momentum and then fire off his tiny barrage of flames on the way out.

Kai stopped for a moment and looked up. Perhaps, she realized, she could have just tried talking to the Kadabra. She would have bored the poor thing to death and could have caught it in no time…

Post #6.
I didn't see you posting that you threw a ball anywhere... herp. Correct me if I was wrong. ._.

***

Er... yeah. The cosmic deity that is overlooking the scene gets completely confused, but even so, he recognises what is supposed to happen. The Infernape dashes towards the Kadabra at high speed, letting out a massive roar as he does so. The Kadabra is caught off-guard by the sudden ferocity of the attack, but the Infernape uses this to his advantage. As he nears the Kadabra, he pushes off the floor with power, smashing into the Kadabra -- but it didn't end there. Using the Kadabra's face as a kickboard, Infernape sprung off at a random angle, backflipping elegantly. As he descended, his eyes blaze as he harnesses a Fire-type move, and the flames raging above his head flash purple, releasing a few fiery orbs towards the Kadabra. Connecting easily, the Kadabra recoils as a burning sensation rushes through its body.

However, now that the Infernape was out of tricks, the moustachioed opponent retaliated -- launching a multi-coloured beam from the star upon its forehead, the Kadabra closed his eyes. The Psybeam seems to shake the Infernape slightly, but leaves no lasting confusion. Only pain. The Kadabra waves its spoon through the air, and a crackling beam of electricity is woven from the static within the atmosphere, the yellow beast directing it towards Infernape with little trouble.

***

Battle stats.
Kadabra | 30.89% [BRN] | ??? | ??? | ???. -- used Psybeam and Charge Beam.
vs.
Infernape | 13.76% | M | Brave | Iron Fist. -- used U-Turn and Will-O-Wisp.

Trainer stats.
Trainer: @Kai-Mei
Items: 3 Park Ball; 2x Super Ball; 1x Hyper Ball; 2x Lava Cookies; 2x Energy Powders; 1x PokéDoll.
Pokémon Encountered: Woobat; Solosis; Vullaby; Hypno; Kadabra {MCR: 40,588/25,000}.
Pokémon Captured: None.

Pokémon.
Species: Infernape.
Gender: Male.
Ability: Iron Fist.
Nature: Brave.
TM/HM/BM/MT/SM: Swords Dance, Toxic, Solar Beam, Earthquake, Fire Blast, Rock Slide, Substitute, Roar, Hidden Power [Ice], Sunny Day, Protect, Return, Focus Punch, Bulk Up, Brick Break, Rock Tomb, Aerial Ace, Overheat, Focus Blast, Will-O-Wisp, Shadow Claw, Stone Edge, Stealth Rock, Poison Jab, Grass Knot, U-Turn, Flame Charge, Thunderpunch, Fake Out, Encore, Role Play, Counter and Endeavour.

Nah, I was definitely waiting for you to post stats wheretheygo;-; so that I could be a jerk and get better percentages so that I can actually bring out a Kadabra under the park rules, assuming I get 0% bonus for quality 'cause HOLY SHIZ WHAT DID I JUST DO.
...yes. It's certainly not 'cause i forgot. Nope.[/s]
And, in advance... this is just like LOOK AT ME, OVERDRAMATIC ANGST. GNARDAMMIT. D:<

***

Kai sorta frowned a bit at the scene. The Kadabra seriously hadn't done anything for the whole flashback, thank Arceus or whatever deity was left to her. Kai wasn't going to complain. Even so, she couldn't really recognize what sort of attacks Kadabra had used against Infernape -- she had cringed at the Psybeam (but had been somewhat thankful that it hadn't opted to use the much more powerful, and much more worrying Psychic), but she wasn't really sure what the mysterious electric attack was. It was electric-typed, at least, but it could've been Charge Beam, Thunder Wave, perhaps even an illegally obtained Thunderbolt if Fred was going to mess with her head...

And even worse, Kai couldn't correctly judge how injured or not the Kadabra was. That was unsettling. It had taken a heavy hit to the face, and it had been burned, but she still couldn't tell if the Magic Guard- Schrodinger's situation had settled in her favor or not. If she wanted, she could probably tell Infernape to use Protect to stall out the burn one more hit and bring the Kadabra really, really low, but Kai didn't want to risk it. If the Kadabra had been any more injured (by, say, 2 HP), she'd lose her chance entirely. And then the park run would be over. And that would (understatement of the day, barring anything including Fred) really, really suck.

Instead, Kai rummaged quickly through her bag, hoping she could throw the ball before the Kadabra attacked once more (and cursing her poor planning for not thinking of this early). Her fingers closed upon the cool metal of a Hyper Ball, and she prepared to throw it.

"Infernape, you can back off now," she called out to her Infernape; he gladly obliged. She could tell that he was weary -- it had been a long, long day, all things considered (understatement of the day, barring anything including Fred and the previous understatement of the day), but his battle with the Kadabra had been exceedingly harsh. He looked badly dazzled by the rainbow Psybeam attack, and the other little electric-thingy certainly wasn't helping his health. She knew that Infernape wasn't going to admit that he was in pain, as it was his nature to be brave and ignore it, but it was her duty to remind him when he was injured and help him out all the same. Watching the Kadabra with a stray eye, she pulled one of the Energy Powders the Rangers had given her out of her backpack, opening the seal and offering the powder to him.

She knew that he really was tired out by the manner in which he accepted the item; instead of protesting and insisting that she save it for later use, he gratefully took it with a slight whimper in his cracked hands, careful not to spill the precious healing powder on the ground. He hissed at the taste -- it was nasty and bitter, like all medicine -- but he still sighed in relief as his wounds began to heal (or, at least, that's what Kai hoped -- for all she knew, she could have been feeding him poison and he could be sighing seconds before he died... that was horridly morbid). Kai thought for a moment, and then offered Infernape another Energy Powder, followed by a Lava Cookie. She felt like a bad trainer, but she really couldn't tell what had happened last turn from the Kadabra (which was still able to attack them, Kai realized belatedly): if Kadabra had used something like Charge Beam, Infernape could probably eat that second Energy Powder and not feel bad about it, barring the taste; if Kadabra had used Thunder Wave (she desperately hoped that that wasn't the case), Infernape would need the Lava Cookie to heal his paralysis. Kai really felt derpish for not being able to recognize the symptoms of her own Pokemon, but perhaps it was the events of the day in general. Besides, it was the last encounter of the run -- she wouldn't need the items any more, and the Park Rangers would want them back anyways if they weren't used. Infernape loved Lava Cookies anyways.

"Go on," she said encouragingly, although Infernape looked uneasy about accepting the valuable healing items. She had been careful to conserve them up until this point; however, they really would have no further use for them and she wanted Infernape to be as comfortable as possible, especially after his difficult battle with the Kadabra... which, she realized, still wasn't over yet... CRAPCRAPCRAP.

***

<I'm sorry,> Fred said, irritated. <In twenty years-- although, technically, no time at all because no time passes here, ever, when you're mad at us for getting you stuck here, just remember that it was goat-god who did this. We would've been fine without having to open the Temporal. Freaking. Vortex...> He glared at Arceus.

{I fail to see how this worries you,} Arceus retorted regally. {I will take my leave now.}

Fred bristled. <You wouldn't da-->

There was a brilliant flash of light in the already white world of the temporal-vortex-thingy, and then Arceus vanished. Fred began swearing under his breath... in his mind.

"What just happened?" Kai asked, quivering slightly and biting her lip. It wasn't reassuring to know that she was now trapped inside an apparently inescapable zone with a Deoxys whom she had once (accidentally) attacked and then had really, really pissed off... and Arceus had sorta just vanished. No, not reassuring at all. "Fred?"

<Bastard teleported,> Fred said, expertly stating the obvious. <That makes my job even better,> he added sarcastically.

"What do you mean?" Kai promised herself to never get involved in crap this deep ever again. Even if it was already too late.

<Well, it's the classic 'someone must stay behind' situation,> Fred said in a strained voice. <Literally. Someone has to stay behind, or the temporal feedback overloads and the polarity is not reversed, resulting in the-->

"I definitely just lost you there," Kai muttered. Seriously. She never asked to be caught in stuff like this. And the worst part was that it was literally all her fault. Wasn't that just wonderful?

<Space and time go boom boom kapow.>

"Oh, that's just peachy."

Fred sighed. <Naturally, I'll be saving you and consigning myself to being trapped within the Vortex for all of eternity,> he muttered, and then paused. <Your lack of protesting worries me greatly.>

Kai bit her lip. "I'm having problems understanding what's going on here," she began quietly. "Not gonna lie. But... you better not." Her voice grew deathly serious as she saw his lack of response. "I swear, Fred, you better not just... you heard what you said. I'm just a puny mortal. That's all.

Fred scowled, and she could literally feel his annoyance leaking through her mind. <That's all you are,> he said, a bit too harshly. <Just a mortal. You don't even have enough energy to withstand the Vortex. If I left, you'd be gone in seconds, and then everything would disintegrate anyways.> He paused. <That's a bit harsh, kid, but... yeah. No offense. This is a horrible, horrible choice.>

Kai smiled weakly when Fred did. "Blame goat-god," she whispered.

<I'm not one for goodbyes,> Fred said quietly. <So... um. Just stay away from Meteor Valley, okay? It was at the heart of the rift, and if you return, you might find...>

He trailed off, and Kai frowned. "Find what?"

<...me,> Fred said after a long pause. <Time flows differently here. If you see me again, I might not be quite so... happy to see you.> An awkward pause. <Might've already been ten years where we are now. Or a thousand. You never know.>

Kai stared at him in amazement. "You... Fred... you don't have to do this."

He smiled at her gently, and shook his head. (He seemed so effing human that it hurt) <No, I sorta do,> he said with a slight grin. <Here goes, right?>

The white world went black, and Kai was gone. She had reappeared instantly, though, only Infernape on her belt (as it had been before; thankfully he was still there), and she had immediately been confronted by a very eager receptionist who had promptly entered her in the Park Capture Contest, handed her a backpack of items, and shooed her out of the door. Straight into the Capture Contest. At Meteor Valley. With the sinking sensation that Fred was everywhere at once and no where at all.

So, yeah. The time machine had been a lie. But so had mostly anything else.

***

Effing flashbacks. Seriously. It was like someone was just a really, really bad planner and had decided to shove FREAKING EVERYTHING into a really short period of time. But really. It just wasn't fair.

<Sorry for being mad at you earlier.>

"Sorry for ruining your future."

<Point taken.> Still, he seemed slightly amused, which was a plus. Either that or he was insane again. That wouldn't do. <Do something good in your life, okay? I'll see you around, Kai. Seriously. Look out behind you.> There wasn't much malice in his presence, however, as he faded away. That meme was finally dead.

Kai couldn't help but feel somewhat regretful as she turned around and threw the Hyper Ball at the Kadabra. Hopefully, in a day where so much had gone wrong, she could do something right...

Post #7.
WOW. BUOYSEL = FAIL RANGER. I completely forgot about battle stats. I AM SO SORRY AGAIN. Also, I'm not entirely sure if you wanted to feed Infernape two Energy Powders or not (or if you actually can feed it two items in the one post without the Kadabra doing something), so I just sort of went with the one. I'll run along and try and clarify that, I guess. In the meantime, VM/PM/IM me with Kadabra's gender so I can get it edited and such.
CLARIFIED and edited accordingly. I still need Kadabra's gender.

***

Your Infernape eats those Energy Powders, although he seems to be revolted by the food. The Kadabra, on seeing this, appears very feeble -- but still manages to use a Psycho Cut, its claws slashing the flaming monkey. After that, the Kadabra simply waggles a digit of the hand not clutching the spoon, and seems to mutter an impressive amount of syllables. Your Infernape stares, his eyes agates, as he realises what the Kadabra is saying, and he sees red, but manages not to move, his obedience to you overriding his anger.

ER. YEAH. The Hyper Ball whacks Kadabra in its face, and the darn thing doesn't even wobble when it hits the ground. It pings on impact with the floor, and it floats into your hand. You toddle away from the area because WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED.

<< RUN COMPLETED. >>

***

Trainer stats.
Trainer: @Kai-Mei
Items: 3 Park Ball; 2x Super Ball; 2x Lava Cookies; 1x Energy Powders; 1x PokéDoll.
Pokémon Encountered: Woobat; Solosis; Vullaby; Hypno; Kadabra {MCR: 49,637/25,000}.
Pokémon Captured: Kadabra [???; Rash].

Pokémon.
Species: Infernape. @ 61.23%
Gender: Male.
Ability: Iron Fist.
Nature: Brave.
TM/HM/BM/MT/SM: Swords Dance, Toxic, Solar Beam, Earthquake, Fire Blast, Rock Slide, Substitute, Roar, Hidden Power [Ice], Sunny Day, Protect, Return, Focus Punch, Bulk Up, Brick Break, Rock Tomb, Aerial Ace, Overheat, Focus Blast, Will-O-Wisp, Shadow Claw, Stone Edge, Stealth Rock, Poison Jab, Grass Knot, U-Turn, Flame Charge, Thunderpunch, Fake Out, Encore, Role Play, Counter and Endeavour.