Just a thought...

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  1. #1
    Darkness... User_Name's Avatar
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    Default Just a thought...

    I was thinking of making a fanfic in which a Trainer fights Kanto's new Evil Syndicate: Team Legend, who's goal is to use all the Legendary Pokémon's powers to take over the world and bend it to their command. The trainer eventually finds a machine made by Team Legend that gives the wearer the powers and abilities of any caught Pokémon. Like if she caught a Pidgeot, she could grow retractable wings and fly. She eventually catches all the Legendary Pokémon in an attempt to stop Team Legend, giving her their powers in the process, and thus is a god of sorts in the end.

    I was hoping you could tell me if I should make it or not. Be honest, brutally honest if you need, and please give your personal opinions and thoughts, as opposed to "Well, you should if you want to."

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    Awesomest guy ALIVE Captain_Kaos's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a thought...

    Sounds awesome


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    is obsessed with Noivern! Zekurom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a thought...

    I know I should be against the concept, but this seems like a rather common plot idea where a bunch of powers get thrown together on a trainer - i.e. a Mary Sue.

    Now, I'm not saying this story can't work, but you're going to need a lot of elaboration to make sure that it's not just "OMG AWESOME CHARACTER WITH AWESOME POWERS DEFEATS AWESOME ENEMY WITH THE POWER OF AWESOMENESS", as that comes off as corny. (Of course even then some people manage to make it work, such as with Gurren Lagann, but that's because the show has other things going for it.)
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

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    Default Re: Just a thought...

    Quote Originally Posted by Zekurom View Post
    I know I should be against the concept, but this seems like a rather common plot idea where a bunch of powers get thrown together on a trainer - i.e. a Mary Sue.

    Now, I'm not saying this story can't work, but you're going to need a lot of elaboration to make sure that it's not just "OMG AWESOME CHARACTER WITH AWESOME POWERS DEFEATS AWESOME ENEMY WITH THE POWER OF AWESOMENESS", as that comes off as corny. (Of course even then some people manage to make it work, such as with Gurren Lagann, but that's because the show has other things going for it.)
    Well, I just gave you a brief summary of the initial plot. The story takes place 12 years after the events of Gold and Silver, in Kanto. Blue is the Professor, Red is peacefully spending his time in Celadon City until the main Character needs his help, blah blah blah, fangirls start attacking the main character, blah blah blah, Team Galactic suit designs, blah blah blah. But I'm not sure these little details are what you meant by "elaborate."

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    CEO of the Monsters Lugion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a thought...

    Well, if brutal honesty is what you're looking for...

    This is a terribly cliche idea. I can't tell you how many stories I've (sorta) read with the same general idea. And I do agree that the "gaining powers" aspect is rather Sue-ish, as Zekurom pointed out.

    However, like just about any idea, there's potential here. Have you ever heard of the Pokémon ReBURST manga? I've not read it myself, but the premise is interesting. It's similar, in that trainers sort of "fuse" with their Pokémon, gaining their abilities and whatnot. Each trainer has a signature Pokémon that they merge with, though, rather than having several. I personally find that to be a better idea, and something I would recommend to you. This way, you can develop better character dynamics, since these characters might not enjoy having to work together to stop Team Legend. Kinda like The Avengers.

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    Default Re: Just a thought...

    Thank you.

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    is obsessed with Noivern! Zekurom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a thought...

    Quote Originally Posted by User_Name View Post
    Well, I just gave you a brief summary of the initial plot. The story takes place 12 years after the events of Gold and Silver, in Kanto. Blue is the Professor, Red is peacefully spending his time in Celadon City until the main Character needs his help, blah blah blah, fangirls start attacking the main character, blah blah blah, Team Galactic suit designs, blah blah blah. But I'm not sure these little details are what you meant by "elaborate."
    You'd be right in saying that those were not the little details I was looking for. I'm looking for plot details, not setting details. You'd need a lot more than just a mere description; such traits have to be judged on a story-to-story basis, so it would only be upon actually writing the story itself that I could tell you whether I found the details good or not.

    Also, fangirls attacking the main character is weird to have randomly, and adds more to the "Mary Sue" qualities I espoused earlier. (Although I mean, I guess I did have fangirls attack Hikaru in Generation 2021, but it was mostly played for humour, and had plot significance.)
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

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    Default Re: Just a thought...

    I was never actually thinking of having that fangirl thing though.

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    Default Re: Just a thought...

    Hm, well, I like the idea of Team Legend but you honestly sort of lost me at 'machine to gain powers of pokemon.' This idea is prime mary-sue fodder, and while I'm personally of the opinion that almost anything can make a good story if done well, for someone who isn't absolutely confident in their story telling ability, the outcome is probably going to be quite cliche and mary-sue-ish. Now that doesn't mean you shouldn't write it. If you're okay with that outcome, then by all means. I definitely think its good for writers to write, even if its an idea that your more experienced self might cringe at. It will make you a better writer. But if you are trying to avoid writing amateurish stories, then you may want to re-think your idea.

    Can I ask the question of why exactly you want to give your character all the legendaries powers? I think that sometimes when you get down to the root of why you feel like adding things that might be considered 'cliche,' you can figure out what you actually want from a story and side-step some of those things that will bring your story down.

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    Default Re: Just a thought...

    I wanted to let the main character be in control of crap-loads of power... maybe. I dunno anymore.

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    Hex Mistress NoirGrimoir's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just a thought...

    Maybe you should think about what you want to accomplish with this story before you solidify the plot. In the meantime though you could still write on it. Sometimes things become clearer once you actually start writing the story.

    Official Claimer of the Pokemon Pumpkaboo | Official Claimer of the Move Trick-Or-Treat | Official Claimer of the Items Silph Scopeand Odd Keystone.
    If you like comedy, check out my fanfic "You Win Some, You Lose Some" (CHAPTER THREE UP!) | For some supplementary art, visit NG's Sketches 'n Stuff!

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