Help With Plot. Opinions Needed.

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Thread: Help With Plot. Opinions Needed.

  1. #1
    is back... finally. Yoshi-kun's Avatar
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    Default Help With Plot. Opinions Needed.

    The Truth be Told

    Andi is a young girl out on her first adventure, a class field trip. When they arrive in the Hoenn region, however, everything is not what it seems. An archeologist named Donovan has taken a particular interest in the pendant her mother gave her for her birthday, and the suspicion surrounding him and his superior Calista doesn't help matters. When a mysterious Houndoom steals the pendant, she finds out more than she ever wanted to know.

    Meanwhile Ash and co. are on their way to the next Hoenn League Gym battle, but they missed the boat. Stuck for the time being they get themselves caught up with a poaching investigating in a nearby forest reserve. Naturally Team Rocket can't help but get involved with stealing the Pokemon in the chaos, and everything goes wrong. Ash goes missing, and May, Brock, and Max find themselves hopelessly lost, until they stumble out of the woods and right into Team Aqua trying to burn down a library. Wait a minute? Just what the heck is going on?


    This is the second fic I ever plotted out, and I want to write it. But it just hasn't happened. Anyway there's so much I want parody and address head on in this fic. For one is the whole Mary Sue OC thing. Andi's not special, she's supposed to play the role of Sammy, Tory, and movie OC's to get the plot going . But I can parody all the cliche's with her at first, and then say actually she's normal.

    She has two toned eyes. (The whole color changing eyes thing that is given to the worst of the Sues). Are they blue? Are they green? Is it magic? I don't know, why don't you tell us Misty.

    She seems like could be a really good trainer... if she could get her act together. Sometimes she shows flashes of skill, sometimes she freezes up. Her skill isn't special, but more the fact that she's had her Charmander for three years, not as a starter, but as a pet. She's like Mary from Mild 'n Wooly, in that she had the chance unofficially practice before she turned ten. But it doesn't help her in that moment it turns from practice to the real thing, she puts pressure on herself to win and freaks.

    The pendant? It restores energy to Pokemon, like what was done in the old days (inspired by the episode As Clear As Crystal) except not nearly as powerful since it's just a little stone. It takes forever to recharge, and they don't even know the right methods. Potions work better this day and age. The stone only works twice over period of the whole fic, once to give energy to her opponents Pokemon (not kidding) and the other during a battle in which she's a spectator, except to say hey something's going on with this rock. It never helps her Charmander, at all. So basically, the stone's kinda worthless, but it doesn't seem that way.

    Actually as they find out later, it probably would have been better everyone involved that she let the Houndoom take the stupid thing. But alas hindsight is twenty twenty.

    Donovan doesn't even want the stone for it's supposed power, but as a replacement for a crystal that he can't get his hands on very quickly, so he can figure out some ancient puzzle. Discovering the secret of the ruins are a heck of a lot more important than everything else, because they are what will get him the archeological find of the century. What? No taking over the world? He's supposed to be a villain/anti-hero, who wants to upend Calista. (Yes that Calista hint hint) He's constantly suspicious of her and she is of him. She doesn't trust him or his motives, and her odd behavior suggests that she knows more than she let's on, and he's quick to take the chance to uncover the truth of her research. But he doesn't see the consequences for him and Andi when he starts messing around with things he shouldn't have.

    Naturally consequences, is something something Ash and co. love to get involved in, but they find just one mess too many this time. Teams Aqua and Magma are a bit more competent in this fic, or as competent as they before the whole 2 part finale. Team Aqua is on the trail of some new information, and are willing to do anything to get it. Team Magma of course are willing to do anything to stop them. And what if say, Andi and Donovan give them the idea that know about things, things that they shouldn't know. What if Donavan manipulates the information to his advantage, or will all of it backfire on everyone?

    Just what are the consequences of knowing too much? Just what are the consequences of knowing the future?

    I actually have a sequel to this story all planned out that about those issues, involving all the canon characters, it's a canon character story, no major oc's this time, and what happens because of the new future. It's anther story I really want to write. And here's the thing, I have to write the first one in order for the second one to make sense. The problem is I don't think anyone would read the first one..

    It has OC's, from what I understand, no one likes OC's and canon characters to mix. Either write an original story or a canon story, especially since readers for either side don't cross over. The OC's are automatically Sues because they're OC's, no matter how much I try to show they're not. Really, I'm a canon fan, I don't want them to get ursurped. Andi can't beat Ash in a battle, and Donovan underestimates what Team Aqua is willing to do in end. I just really like the plot. And for the plot to work I need the OC's, I want to write something like we see in the movies, I want to Ash and co. on a epic adventure they never could have imagined. I want to hint at subplots and see if readers guess what happens. I want to know if they can figure out the truth.

    So please tell me, is anything like this worth writing? Or should I give up because it wouldn't have readers? Should I keep the idea in my head, like I have for the past several years. Yeah, basically I've decided time and again no would like it and wouldn't appeal to people. Or is that poor writer's self esteem talking? I really don't know anymore. Any feedback would be appreciated, please. Yoshi
    Last edited by Yoshi-kun; 4th December 2011 at 02:30 AM.

  2. #2
    Reader and Writer Legacy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help With Plot. Opinions Needed.

    I definitely think you should proceed.

    The bones of your story line sound very intriguing, especially the part about the pendent and how it came to be, how Andi's mother got it, etc.

    I think if you portray the canon characters well, you will be fine. I'm looking forward to reading this if you decide to proceed.

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