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  1. #31
    Hex Mistress NoirGrimoir's Avatar
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    Default Re: General Writing Questions

    @Cooking king; I think in this case rather than help in general writing questions, you may need a beta reader to help you go line by line with your story specifically. maybe you should post some of your work and see what people have to say about it?

    Official Claimer of the Pokemon Pumpkaboo | Official Claimer of the Move Trick- Or -Treat | Official Claimer of the Items Silph Scope and Odd Keystone.
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  2. #32
    Awesomest guy ALIVE Captain_Kaos's Avatar
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    Default Re: General Writing Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by NoirGrimoir View Post
    @Cooking king; I think in this case rather than help in general writing questions, you may need a beta reader to help you go line by line with your story specifically. maybe you should post some of your work and see what people have to say about it?
    Yea I am just working on the end of the first chapter then i might get someone to take a look at it, hopefully it turns out well and i got tons of free time over the weekend


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  3. #33

    Default Commanded - Ordered and others

    One problem that I have with writing my fanfic is different words for commanded or ordered.
    For example.
    "Wooper, use Water Gun!" Free commanded.
    I always find myself going back and forth between commanded, ordered, yelled, called, screamed, etc.
    Do any of you have any suggestions on different ways to do this? Different ways that they can give orders.
    Sometimes, if it is a long battle, I'll just leave the sentence without writing who said it.
    "Wooper, use Water Gun!"
    And while this is effective, it doesn't seem to always work.
    I just feel so bland when I do commanded or ordered so much.

  4. #34
    Your mind is a world AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Commanded - Ordered and others

    Quote Originally Posted by FreeXax View Post
    One problem that I have with writing my fanfic is different words for commanded or ordered.
    For example.
    "Wooper, use Water Gun!" Free commanded.
    I always find myself going back and forth between commanded, ordered, yelled, called, screamed, etc.
    Do any of you have any suggestions on different ways to do this? Different ways that they can give orders.
    Sometimes, if it is a long battle, I'll just leave the sentence without writing who said it.
    "Wooper, use Water Gun!"
    And while this is effective, it doesn't seem to always work.
    I just feel so bland when I do commanded or ordered so much.
    I wouldn't worry about it too much, it sounds like you've got enough variation as it is with commanded, ordered, yelled, called, screamed, and whatnot. There are only so many ways to say the same thing, it's getting your point across that matters. There should be enough space between commands what with describing the battle that I'd be surprised if the reader noticed.

  5. #35

    Default Re: Commanded - Ordered and others

    Quote Originally Posted by AetherX View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by FreeXax View Post
    One problem that I have with writing my fanfic is different words for commanded or ordered.
    For example.
    "Wooper, use Water Gun!" Free commanded.
    I always find myself going back and forth between commanded, ordered, yelled, called, screamed, etc.
    Do any of you have any suggestions on different ways to do this? Different ways that they can give orders.
    Sometimes, if it is a long battle, I'll just leave the sentence without writing who said it.
    "Wooper, use Water Gun!"
    And while this is effective, it doesn't seem to always work.
    I just feel so bland when I do commanded or ordered so much.
    I wouldn't worry about it too much, it sounds like you've got enough variation as it is with commanded, ordered, yelled, called, screamed, and whatnot. There are only so many ways to say the same thing, it's getting your point across that matters. There should be enough space between commands what with describing the battle that I'd be surprised if the reader noticed.
    I see what you're saying. But after writing a full 6-on-6 battle, you start to notice how repetitive it is. I just want new ways to do it.

  6. #36
    Your mind is a world AetherX's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: Commanded - Ordered and others

    In that case, you could also use "responded" when the trainer is ordering some kind of counter or dodge. I usually stick to your second method, where you skip the speech tags completely. It's usually fairly obvious who's ordering what. If it really becomes a problem, try writing your description in such a way that less emphasis is put on the trainers' orders. Not sure if that makes sense, but hopefully you see what I mean.

  7. #37
    is obsessed with Noivern! Zekurom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Commanded - Ordered and others

    Quote Originally Posted by FreeXax View Post
    I see what you're saying. But after writing a full 6-on-6 battle, you start to notice how repetitive it is. I just want new ways to do it.
    Often what I do is simply omit the commands altogether. Let the Pokémon battle by themselves, and have the trainer commands be implied.
    The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.

  8. #38
    Requiem Raver Drakon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Commanded - Ordered and others

    Quote Originally Posted by FreeXax View Post
    One problem that I have with writing my fanfic is different words for commanded or ordered.
    For example.
    "Wooper, use Water Gun!" Free commanded.
    I always find myself going back and forth between commanded, ordered, yelled, called, screamed, etc.
    Do any of you have any suggestions on different ways to do this? Different ways that they can give orders.
    Sometimes, if it is a long battle, I'll just leave the sentence without writing who said it.
    "Wooper, use Water Gun!"
    And while this is effective, it doesn't seem to always work.
    I just feel so bland when I do commanded or ordered so much.
    How about switching perspectives to the pokémon instead and let the commands fall into the background?
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  9. #39
    Brock's Pikachu LightningTopaz's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: General Writing Questions

    A somewhat spoilery question for "Pokemon: The Song of Jewels", so I'm putting it in spoiler tags:

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  10. #40

    Default Re: Commanded - Ordered and others

    Quote Originally Posted by Drakon View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by FreeXax View Post
    One problem that I have with writing my fanfic is different words for commanded or ordered.
    For example.
    "Wooper, use Water Gun!" Free commanded.
    I always find myself going back and forth between commanded, ordered, yelled, called, screamed, etc.
    Do any of you have any suggestions on different ways to do this? Different ways that they can give orders.
    Sometimes, if it is a long battle, I'll just leave the sentence without writing who said it.
    "Wooper, use Water Gun!"
    And while this is effective, it doesn't seem to always work.
    I just feel so bland when I do commanded or ordered so much.
    How about switching perspectives to the pokémon instead and let the commands fall into the background?
    I would do that, if I did first person. I'm always doing third person, so it is more of an overworld look.

  11. #41
    Brock's Pikachu LightningTopaz's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: General Writing Questions

    What are some good Pokemon for a music/sound based evil team to use? I've already thought of the Whismur line, since I have mentioned this team (Team Elegy) using a Loudred in one of my drafts
    My URPG stats: Maya's status

    SuBuWriMo status: 28,103 words in all!

  12. #42

    Default Re: General Writing Questions

    Quote Originally Posted by LightningTopaz View Post
    What are some good Pokemon for a music/sound based evil team to use? I've already thought of the Whismur line, since I have mentioned this team (Team Elegy) using a Loudred in one of my drafts
    Chatot? Jigglypuff? Chimecho? Kircketune? Seismitoad? Ludicolo? Roggenrola?

    - The epic banner is work of the great Red -

  13. #43
    Brock's Pikachu LightningTopaz's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: General Writing Questions

    Chimecho and the Roggenrola line would work...maybe Kricketune
    My URPG stats: Maya's status

    SuBuWriMo status: 28,103 words in all!

  14. #44
    Hex Mistress NoirGrimoir's Avatar
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    Default Re: General Writing Questions

    Zubat line? (Echolocation, bats use screeches to see.) Vibrava/Flygon (Known for it's wings making a "singing" sound.) Lapras (also known for singing). Bronzong (it's a bell).

    Official Claimer of the Pokemon Pumpkaboo | Official Claimer of the Move Trick- Or -Treat | Official Claimer of the Items Silph Scope and Odd Keystone.
    If you like comedy, check out my fanfic "You Win Some, You Lose Some" (CHAPTER THREE UP!) | For some supplementary art, visit NG's Sketches 'n Stuff!

  15. #45
    Brock's Pikachu LightningTopaz's Avatar Moderator
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    Default Re: General Writing Questions

    Zubat line works, Flygon a little later, and Bronzong possibly during the final confrontation with the team boss
    My URPG stats: Maya's status

    SuBuWriMo status: 28,103 words in all!

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