The Zorua Death Game

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  1. #1
    the vibration pokemon Nitro's Avatar
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    Default The Zorua Death Game

    Within any forest, there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of trees. However, there is only one tree of importance to us right now, and that is the one our protagonists cower within.

    Within this tree, two fuzzy red insects were munching on small leaves. They were hidden amongst the roots of the tree, and they chewed their leaves in a way that exuded nervousness.

    Now, why would these two Wurmple (for that was what they were) be nervous?

    "Kricketot~"

    There is your answer.

    Hearing the happy song of the Kricketot, the two Wurmple crawled to the farthest end of the tree trunk and bunched up in fear. They did not like the Kricketot's song. Every morning, they would hear the song as the Kricketot passed by their home. Every morning, they would hide themselves in fear. This happy song inspired nothing other than fear in the two Wurmple.

    "Kricketot~"

    Once again, the Wurmple shivered.

    "Kricketot~"

    At this last chirp, one of the Wurmple lost the logical part of his mind. In a mixture of fear and bravado, he crawled through a hole in the roots.

    The sun was bright. As his eyes adjusted, Wurmple saw the green landscape he was familiar with. The green forest... This was home.

    "Kricketot?"

    Wurmple looked at the source of the song. A small red Pokemon sat on a log, staring back. There was a cute innocence in her eyes, although Wurmple knew better than to fall for this.

    "Wurmple?"

    The other Wurmple joined the first, crawling out from within the tree roots. When he saw the Kricketot, however, he immediately cowered behind the first Wurmple.

    "Kricketot?" Kricketot waved her hand in greeting, her eyes lighting up in a friendly sort of way.

    Horrified, the two Wurmple crawled back beneath the tree. However, the Kricketot misunderstood their actions, and thought they wanted to play a game of hide-and-seek.

    "Kricketot?" The Pokemon popped her head amongst the tree roots playfully, looking for the Wurmple. Obviously, they were there. Cowering in fear, they looked back at the Kricketot.

    Kricketot entered the mess of roots, joining whom she thought was her new friends in the two Wurmple. The two Wurmple, meanwhile, thought Kricketot meant to intimidate them.

    "Kricketot?"

    Taking one more step in, Kricketot's larger frame completely covered up the entrance/exit gap. There were no other gaps large enough for the Wurmple to crawl out through, and although Kricketot did not realize it, the traumatized Wurmple wanted nothing more than to crawl away. However, with Kricketot standing in their way to freedom, they though this Pokemon meant to assault them.

    Staring at each other with evident fear in their eyes, they nodded. There was simply one thing they could do at this point.

    As the fear in their eyes turned into a determined, against-all-odds sort of gleam, they turned and faced the Kricketot. This time, the Kricketot saw the emotion in their eyes correctly. Unsure of the situation, she slowly backed up and back out of the tree.

    "Wurmple..."

    "Wurmple..."

    The two Wurmple leapt at Kricketot. The impact of the two caterpillars knocked over Kricketot, and they all tumbled away from the tree.

    Now, the Wurmple had their freedom. However, their inner selves had been released. The determination they had showed unlocked the truth from deep within their minds - a truth nobody had known.

    Turning pitch-black, the two Wurmple transformed. Their shape changed from the shape of a worm to that of a puppy. However, they did not resemble ordinary puppies. They retained their pitch-black colour, and red accents appeared on their face. Suddenly, two electric blue eyes popped up on both of the Pokemon's faces - the transformation was complete.

    "Zorua!" they cried in unison.

    All along, the two Wurmple were actually a pair of Zorua. Kricketot did not realize this, as she still had no clue what was going on. All she knew was that her new friends had suddenly transformed into hellish beings - beings that frightened her.

    However, the two Zorua understood perfectly what was going on. During the transformation, the knowledge had implanted itself in their minds.

    At birth, Zorua were left alone by their parents. The first Pokemon they saw would be a Pokemon they would transform into, due to their unique Illusion trait. They would remain in that form permanently until a determination, a determination to do anything at all, would help subconsciously drive their mind to unlock the truth - the truth that they were actually Zorua. As Zorua, they were no longer scared of the Kricketot's happy song - they were no longer scared of anything. They just wanted to cause pain.

    "Kricketot?" the Bug Pokemon asked nervously, wondering what was going on.

    The Zorua locked eyes with the Kricketot. Outnumbered and intimidated, the Kricketot shivered in fear.

    "Kricketot! Kricketot!" she cried.

    From a bush nearby, a Sewaddle crawled out. He had heard the Kricketot's cry and had come, determined to rescue the damsel in distress.

    "Sewaddle!" he cried bravely, crawling to Kricketot's side. He stared back at the Zorua angrily, hoping to scare them off.

    Smirking, the two Zorua leapt at the Sewaddle and the Kricketot. They tore at flesh fiendishly, and backed off after a few moments to regroup. After their transformation, they had grown stronger. However, they still had to adjust to these new bodies and the energy they required.

    The Kricketot and the Sewaddle lay in a bloody mess on the ground. However, they were still alive - barely. They returned to their feet slowly, and they locked eyes with the Zorua once again. Both of the Bug Pokemon knew that they would have to defeat these two Dark-types if they wanted to get out of this predicament alive. Though they certainly wanted to, they knew they were outmatched. Still, they knew they had to try.

    The Zorua didn't even let them. They returned to the offensive, with the intent to not even give the Bug-types a chance. As they leapt on the Kricketot and the Sewaddle, both were thinking the same thing as they were tearing up different flesh.

    They were Zorua. This was the death game.

    Want to guess who the winners were?

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  2. #2
    Prince of All Blazikens! Magikchicken's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Zorua Death Game

    Oh noes! What a horrible story. :( Poor Kricketot and Sewaddle, you should be ashamed.

    Actually, no. No shame necessary. xD This was pretty well done.

    Characters/Backstory/Plot: Given that it's a 6,000-character short story, there's no need to be excessively thorough in backstory or characterization (though you did a fairly good job of it, with the explanation of the two Zorua's origins and motivation.) Nor do you need a plot that's simpler than a single episode in the life of a couple of Zorua: their transformation and first kill.

    Descriptions: One thing I might ask for, were this for anything more than two super-easy catches, would be a few more descriptions of the locations the story takes place in. Is there anything notable about the log the Wurmple-Zorua are sitting on initially? About the bush Sewaddle emerges from? What does the area around the tree look like? (As in, is it a clearing? Thick underbrush? Maybe there's a pond or stream nearby?) None of these things matter to the story, but details can make for a slightly more vivid mental picture of what's going on (and you can then reinforce the mental image by using those details. Why don't Sewaddle and Kricketot run away? Because they're injured, yes, but maybe it's also because they now have their backs to the stream, which is too wide and deep for little bugs to cross? That kind of thing.)

    Battle: It's a curbstomp, pure and simple. I guess not much detail was necessary, and the quasi-horror nature of the story is brought out by the lack of any explicit description of the way in which the two Zorua mutilate their prey.

    All in all, a simple story for some simple captures: an interesting and engaging narrative, with no noticeable grammatical errors. Kudos! This is like candy for Graders: short and sweet. xD
    Sewaddle and Kricketot: Caught.
    Last edited by Magikchicken; 2nd July 2011 at 11:58 PM.
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