URPG Stories Chat and Feedback - Page 51

Page 51 of 195 FirstFirst ... 41495051525361101151 ... LastLast
Results 751 to 765 of 2921
Like Tree272Likes

Thread: URPG Stories Chat and Feedback

  1. #751
    The Hero You Never Needed Neonsands's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    C Burg
    Posts
    2,369
    Blog Entries
    7

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Quote Originally Posted by Synthesis View Post
    Hey guiz! I'm currently in th process of writing a story for a Hippopotas. So far I've wrote a little over 20k characters. It's called Little League Championship. Read it. I NEED CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.
    You too! I am in the process of writing mine too!

    From the sound of it though, mine is a little bit more dark than yours. And to think I was inspired to write it by my English final?

  2. #752
    Fangirl in Disguise Xeniaph's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    South Florida
    Posts
    143

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Quote Originally Posted by Synthesis View Post
    Hey guiz! I'm currently in th process of writing a story for a Hippopotas. So far I've wrote a little over 20k characters. It's called Little League Championship. Read it. I NEED CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.
    Hey, Synthesis. I felt like helping you out, and so I'm doing a hugely comprehensive check of your story. So far, just some grammar and sentence structure errors. It'll probably be done by later tonight. SO CHECK YOUR STORY!!!
    (\—/)
    (='.'=)
    (")-(")O

  3. #753
    ._. Synthesis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    8,123
    Blog Entries
    226

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Quote Originally Posted by Xeniaph View Post
    Hey, Synthesis. I felt like helping you out, and so I'm doing a hugely comprehensive check of your story. So far, just some grammar and sentence structure errors. It'll probably be done by later tonight. SO CHECK YOUR STORY!!!
    Tanks! I'll check it now. ^-^

    Edit: Thank you Neonsands! I hope you get yours =P
    My stories are a bit too cheesy and stereotypical xD
    Last edited by Synthesis; 20th June 2010 at 04:29 AM.

  4. #754
    Fangirl in Disguise Xeniaph's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    South Florida
    Posts
    143

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Hmm... Actually, your story is kinda long... ;) I'll post part of it right now, and the rest a little later.
    (\—/)
    (='.'=)
    (")-(")O

  5. #755
    The Hyacinth Girl Alaskapigeon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Santa Barbara, California
    Posts
    2,730

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Anybody wanna give me some feedback on The Journey Home or Faith? I know that guy with the Ralts avvie already did. The links are in my siggy bro hams
    I speak four languages, help me practice please
    Hablas conmigo en español, por favor
    Vous parlez avec moi en français, s'il vous plaît
    我正在学中文

  6. #756
    Black and White, no Gray Feolthanos Exultant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Virginia, U.S.A.
    Posts
    1,028
    Blog Entries
    10

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Microsoft Word considers this a fragment. Opinions please?

    Then, just as things began to calm down, three jets of water shot from the river, slamming Luxray into a tree.

    ^Made by the unrivaled Blazaking EX, edited by me =) Shop is open, click on the banner to go to the thread!

  7. #757
    bad wolf Scourge of Nemo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Closet Land
    Posts
    1,411

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    'snot a fragment. The "then" is unnecessary-ish, which might be what's setting MSWord off.
    URPG Statistics
    Running Through Daisies

    kers x alaska x zak x derian x scourge x ireign

  8. #758
    Black and White, no Gray Feolthanos Exultant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Virginia, U.S.A.
    Posts
    1,028
    Blog Entries
    10

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Yeah, taking out the then fixed it. Thanks Scourgey!

    ^Made by the unrivaled Blazaking EX, edited by me =) Shop is open, click on the banner to go to the thread!

  9. #759
    Registered User woops's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Gender
    Genderless
    Posts
    3,229
    Blog Entries
    158

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Is this being put to use any time soon?

    Also, I hear that there's an OBLIGATORY REQUIREMENT to post my story here a week after its still not graded. Not that I care.

  10. #760
    Black and White, no Gray Feolthanos Exultant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Virginia, U.S.A.
    Posts
    1,028
    Blog Entries
    10

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    ^Lol'd. Changed the Poliwrath part of the story, so it's for different mons now. Hope for it to be up soon.

    ^Made by the unrivaled Blazaking EX, edited by me =) Shop is open, click on the banner to go to the thread!

  11. #761
    'Lax in lederhosen Elrond 2.0's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    New England, USA
    Posts
    287

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Quote Originally Posted by Skull Kid View Post
    Is this being put to use any time soon?
    It hasn't been put to use since its creation, iirc, so....

  12. #762
    The Hyacinth Girl Alaskapigeon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Santa Barbara, California
    Posts
    2,730

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    You guys should put all those old stories that used to be stickies in the library. I can't remember all their names.
    I speak four languages, help me practice please
    Hablas conmigo en español, por favor
    Vous parlez avec moi en français, s'il vous plaît
    我正在学中文

  13. #763
    Team Rocket recruit Zeferin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    In a dark, cold box, and unsure why I'm here...
    Posts
    786

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    ok, I have an idea for a story, but I need to know something before I start it: do you have to end your story with a capture, as in
    • "Bob threw the Pokeball, trapping the weakened Magikarp within. As it rolled on the ground, Bob waited in anticipation to see if all his hard work paid off..."?


    or can you have captured the pokemon in the story by the end, kinda like,

    • "And with his newly acquired Magikarp, Bob rode off into the sunset to new land and new Pokemon."

  14. #764
    Trainer Ordinaire evanfardreamer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    788

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Quote Originally Posted by Zeferin View Post
    ok, I have an idea for a story, but I need to know something before I start it: do you have to end your story with a capture, as in
    • "Bob threw the Pokeball, trapping the weakened Magikarp within. As it rolled on the ground, Bob waited in anticipation to see if all his hard work paid off..."?


    or can you have captured the pokemon in the story by the end, kinda like,

    • "And with his newly acquired Magikarp, Bob rode off into the sunset to new land and new Pokemon."
    You need to have it end with the uncertainty of capture; whether it's rocking in the Pokeball, being asked to join you on your adventures, or in doubt about whether the Trainer gets to keep the Pokemon if already caught. The last one may not fly with all graders, but personally, if you caught something because it was important to the plot, then your character asked their parents/professor/law enforcement officer if they were allowed to keep it at the end of the story (with the very real possibility of not being able to), I would have no problem with that.
    Evan F's Stats

    Long Live the Ghost Dojo!

  15. #765
    bad wolf Scourge of Nemo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Closet Land
    Posts
    1,411

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Quote Originally Posted by Alaskapigeon View Post
    You guys should put all those old stories that used to be stickies in the library. I can't remember all their names.
    Library rules were that "only stories posted after the creation of the library can be included." Mainly 'cause of the button system. There are a lot of older writers who'd have absurd amounts of Emblems if we incorporated non-new fics into the Library. There have been discussions about an Archive for the older fics (separate from the library) in order to fix this.

    You need to have it end with the uncertainty of capture; whether it's rocking in the Pokeball, being asked to join you on your adventures, or in doubt about whether the Trainer gets to keep the Pokemon if already caught. The last one may not fly with all graders, but personally, if you caught something because it was important to the plot, then your character asked their parents/professor/law enforcement officer if they were allowed to keep it at the end of the story (with the very real possibility of not being able to), I would have no problem with that.
    That's not strictly true. The "leave the capture uncertain" rule is more there to prevent authors from adding Pokémon to their stats, these days. A lot of the experienced graders completely ignore the rule, and I think there's a slight wish for others to follow suit. 's more an irrelevant formality that shouldn't affect the actual body of the story too much.

    (Every single one of my successful captures has involved an actual capture with no uncertainty. A few of the graders were... EmBreon, Galleon, Phantom Kat, and DarkUmbreon, all of whom are ranked oldies. Not one of them even mentioned it. XD Several of my fics, death = capturing. I just put, "UH. WELL, IF IT'S NOT CAPTURED, HE CAN RESURRECT HIMSELF MIRACULOUSLY. OR SOMETHING.")
    Last edited by Scourge of Nemo; 22nd June 2010 at 12:12 PM.
    URPG Statistics
    Running Through Daisies

    kers x alaska x zak x derian x scourge x ireign

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •