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Thread: URPG Stories Chat and Feedback

  1. #46
    CAPS KidBeano's Avatar
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    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyta View Post
    An Eternal Partnership (vs Poliwag) [READY FOR GRADING]

    I'm not asking for a grader, I know I have to just wait for that, but I was just wondering if any of you guys want to read my story and just give me your two cents?
    I've just finished a Grade, so I'm in too much of a lazy state of mind to read the story, but I clicked on the link and saw what you said about the characters - 'tis fine. the maximum is only there as a guideline. You could have a 100k story for Magikarp, as much of a waste of 100k that'd be :3

    Just remember, most Graders think quality > quantity.

  2. #47

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Ah, alrighty then, I guess as long as it's over the minimum limit it doesn't matter about length, just about content :3 Okey-dokey then.
    Sup.

  3. #48
    CAPS KidBeano's Avatar
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    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyta View Post
    Ah, alrighty then, I guess as long as it's over the minimum limit it doesn't matter about length, just about content :3 Okey-dokey then.
    Well, if the story's really borderline, length can be a deciding factor. I'd be more inclined to pass a story that comfortably sits within the range, say at about half-way through than a story that only passes it by a few characters.

  4. #49
    Moderator AceTrainer14's Avatar Forum Head
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    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    I just have a quick question. Do I continue my story (Which is Left Behind if anyone wants to read) in a new thread, or do I just post the new capture underneath?

  5. #50
    'Lax in lederhosen Elrond 2.0's Avatar
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    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Quote Originally Posted by AceTrainer14 View Post
    I just have a quick question. Do I continue my story (Which is Left Behind if anyone wants to read) in a new thread, or do I just post the new capture underneath?
    You can go ahead and write it in the same thread.

  6. #51

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Quote Originally Posted by Senzura View Post
    By the way, there are a few grammer mistakes, be sure to fix'e
    Tee hee. :P

    Probably a typo I know, but still. :D

    Anyway, I would like some constructive criticism on this please? :)

    Lord Celebi is going to grade it, but I would like some other opinions as well please.

    Thanks!
    Mine gramerrs r teh awusums.

    URPG Trainer Stats Page|Hoppyfred's Grand Adventure! (sorta...): (#1|#2)

  7. #52

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Deeply sorry to double-post, but it's just to let Scourge of Nemo know that I would be honoured.

    VM's require 10 posts, PM's require 15 posts, which is why I'm resorting to this. :)
    Last edited by Hoppyfred; 17th April 2010 at 05:51 PM. Reason: Typo.
    Mine gramerrs r teh awusums.

    URPG Trainer Stats Page|Hoppyfred's Grand Adventure! (sorta...): (#1|#2)

  8. #53

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Oh, haha. I wondered how you got enough posts to VM so quickly.

    Um, so, I'm making a semi-announcement: We (we being everyone, but the Training Committee especially) are seeking out talent in all areas of URPG, but there's a particularly unexpected call for graders. I'll be keeping an eye out, but feel free to contact me if you want to be palled up with a grader who can give you a few pointers on the road to passing the grader test to become a grader 'n whatnot. :o
    Last edited by Scourge of Nemo; 17th April 2010 at 10:25 PM. Reason: I need a half-dog, half-secretary personal grader to sit under my bed and prevent me from making stupid errors.
    URPG Statistics
    Running Through Daisies

    kers x alaska x zak x derian x scourge x ireign

  9. #54

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Quote Originally Posted by Scourge of Nemo View Post
    Oh, haha. I wondered how you got enough posts to VM so quickly.

    Um, so, I'm making a semi-announcement: We're (being everyone, but the Training Committee especitally) seeking out talent in all areas of URPG, but there's a particularly unexpected call for graders. I'll be keeping an eye out, but feel free to contact me if you want to be palled up with a grader who can give you a few pointers on the road to becoming a grader. :o
    Just so that doesn't look weird, that post is referring to the now deleted spam posts that I made to take my post count up to 10.

    And also, yay! You can never have enough graders!
    Mine gramerrs r teh awusums.

    URPG Trainer Stats Page|Hoppyfred's Grand Adventure! (sorta...): (#1|#2)

  10. #55
    Insanity is the one truth Senzura's Avatar
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    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Okey Hoppryfred I read your story

    I loved the opening, it really let the reader get into the head of Hoppyfred. Unless Im mistaken, you clearly define that he his a very paranoid person. In fact that was one of the best opening Ive ever seen

    But unfortunately, once he woke up, the story became very bland. I mean was there really even a fight? Kid wakes up, pulls out a fishing rod, catches the magicarp. I know its only a magicarp story, but You could of made it a LITTLE more interesting...

    Really you should take it from the forest seen, and make THAT the story, that was really interesting.

    If it wasn't a magicarp: Not caught
    But since its only a magicarp: caught
    Thats MY opinion


    URPG StatslNational Park
    Im a ranger in that URPG thing. ask me to...range?

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  11. #56

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Senzura, in a sense I believe some of that was actually intended. It's the first step on his journey, and I felt it really helped us connect. After all, how could a new trainer just expertly capture a magicarp intentionally?

    I really liked it, personally, for a Magicarp story. Because it fitted Magicarp :3

    Anyway, for Nemo (as I don't have PM privelige yet):


  12. #57

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Soaked By a Buizel! The Kris Chronicles Part 1
    I would like to have some feed back on this if possible.
    Pokemon Black FC: 0175 3227 6801

  13. #58
    Insanity is the one truth Senzura's Avatar
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    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Okey I'm sorry, but I don't believe a pokemon story should EVER break the fourth wall.....AND YOU DID IT A LOT. I would suggest you get rid of all that stuff

    Okey for the plot you did stray from the traditional from the typical Woods-battle-capture, but what you do to avoid that really wasn't effective.

    I'm sorry but I really don't like this story, I would suggest starting it all over again



    Grammer mistakes I noticed:
    In the first sentence be sure to changes comes to become
    "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah and the worst part is I caught any Pokemon yet- I think you mean HAVEN'T caught
    I feel bad enough about it with out you talking to the whole .....change to without
    MANY MORE

    In my Opinion
    Buizal not captured

    I suggest taking out all the breaking of the fourth wall, and make the story much more detailed. Really? Kid beats a buizal, heals it, then catch it? That wont work for most people. There needs to be much more plot. Sorry it was harsh....but thats what I think
    Last edited by Senzura; 17th April 2010 at 10:23 PM.


    URPG StatslNational Park
    Im a ranger in that URPG thing. ask me to...range?

    PM me if you have an idea for a signiture.

  14. #59

    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Quote Originally Posted by Senzura View Post
    Okey give me a sec to read it
    Alright, thanks.
    Pokemon Black FC: 0175 3227 6801

  15. #60
    Insanity is the one truth Senzura's Avatar
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    Default Re: URPG Stories Chat & Feedback

    Okey it was edited with my shory review


    URPG StatslNational Park
    Im a ranger in that URPG thing. ask me to...range?

    PM me if you have an idea for a signiture.

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