Thread: URPG Stories Chat and Feedback

Originally Posted by Kyta

An Eternal Partnership (vs Poliwag) [READY FOR GRADING]

I'm not asking for a grader, I know I have to just wait for that, but I was just wondering if any of you guys want to read my story and just give me your two cents?

I've just finished a Grade, so I'm in too much of a lazy state of mind to read the story, but I clicked on the link and saw what you said about the characters - 'tis fine. the maximum is only there as a guideline. You could have a 100k story for Magikarp, as much of a waste of 100k that'd be :3

Just remember, most Graders think quality > quantity.

Ah, alrighty then, I guess as long as it's over the minimum limit it doesn't matter about length, just about content :3 Okey-dokey then.

Originally Posted by Kyta

Ah, alrighty then, I guess as long as it's over the minimum limit it doesn't matter about length, just about content :3 Okey-dokey then.

Well, if the story's really borderline, length can be a deciding factor. I'd be more inclined to pass a story that comfortably sits within the range, say at about half-way through than a story that only passes it by a few characters.

I just have a quick question. Do I continue my story (Which is Left Behind if anyone wants to read) in a new thread, or do I just post the new capture underneath?

Originally Posted by AceTrainer14

I just have a quick question. Do I continue my story (Which is Left Behind if anyone wants to read) in a new thread, or do I just post the new capture underneath?

You can go ahead and write it in the same thread.

Originally Posted by Senzura

By the way, there are a few grammer mistakes, be sure to fix'e

Tee hee. :P

Probably a typo I know, but still. :D

Anyway, I would like some constructive criticism on this please? :)

Lord Celebi is going to grade it, but I would like some other opinions as well please.

Thanks!

Deeply sorry to double-post, but it's just to let Scourge of Nemo know that I would be honoured.

VM's require 10 posts, PM's require 15 posts, which is why I'm resorting to this. :)

Oh, haha. I wondered how you got enough posts to VM so quickly.

Um, so, I'm making a semi-announcement: We (we being everyone, but the Training Committee especially) are seeking out talent in all areas of URPG, but there's a particularly unexpected call for graders. I'll be keeping an eye out, but feel free to contact me if you want to be palled up with a grader who can give you a few pointers on the road to passing the grader test to become a grader 'n whatnot. :o

Originally Posted by Scourge of Nemo

Oh, haha. I wondered how you got enough posts to VM so quickly.

Um, so, I'm making a semi-announcement: We're (being everyone, but the Training Committee especitally) seeking out talent in all areas of URPG, but there's a particularly unexpected call for graders. I'll be keeping an eye out, but feel free to contact me if you want to be palled up with a grader who can give you a few pointers on the road to becoming a grader. :o

Just so that doesn't look weird, that post is referring to the now deleted spam posts that I made to take my post count up to 10.

And also, yay! You can never have enough graders!

Okey Hoppryfred I read your story

I loved the opening, it really let the reader get into the head of Hoppyfred. Unless Im mistaken, you clearly define that he his a very paranoid person. In fact that was one of the best opening Ive ever seen

But unfortunately, once he woke up, the story became very bland. I mean was there really even a fight? Kid wakes up, pulls out a fishing rod, catches the magicarp. I know its only a magicarp story, but You could of made it a LITTLE more interesting...

Really you should take it from the forest seen, and make THAT the story, that was really interesting.

If it wasn't a magicarp: Not caught
But since its only a magicarp: caught
Thats MY opinion

Senzura, in a sense I believe some of that was actually intended. It's the first step on his journey, and I felt it really helped us connect. After all, how could a new trainer just expertly capture a magicarp intentionally?

I really liked it, personally, for a Magicarp story. Because it fitted Magicarp :3

Anyway, for Nemo (as I don't have PM privelige yet):

Hey Nemo,

Thanks for the offer, and I would really love to say yes, but with School I just don't have the time to make a commitment.

I hope that in the future, though, I'll be able to take you up on this, and I'm really sorry I can't at the moment.

Regards,

Joshy

(And thanks about the compliment on the story :3)

Soaked By a Buizel! The Kris Chronicles Part 1
I would like to have some feed back on this if possible.

Okey I'm sorry, but I don't believe a pokemon story should EVER break the fourth wall.....AND YOU DID IT A LOT. I would suggest you get rid of all that stuff

Okey for the plot you did stray from the traditional from the typical Woods-battle-capture, but what you do to avoid that really wasn't effective.

I'm sorry but I really don't like this story, I would suggest starting it all over again



Grammer mistakes I noticed:
In the first sentence be sure to changes comes to become
"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah and the worst part is I caught any Pokemon yet- I think you mean HAVEN'T caught
I feel bad enough about it with out you talking to the whole .....change to without
MANY MORE

In my Opinion
Buizal not captured

I suggest taking out all the breaking of the fourth wall, and make the story much more detailed. Really? Kid beats a buizal, heals it, then catch it? That wont work for most people. There needs to be much more plot. Sorry it was harsh....but thats what I think

Originally Posted by Senzura

Okey give me a sec to read it

Alright, thanks.

Okey it was edited with my shory review