Thread: URPG Stories Chat and Feedback

In regards to Heart of Hoenn a series I'm going back to, I'm looking for some comments, criticism and advice. Please post here or VM

So, yeah I've started on the second chapter now (don't read, there's some horrible typos and I want to edit it a lot becore continuing). I'm looking for advice on what direction I should take. It's a Hoenn fic, with a twist. May, the primary character, and Brandon are quite stuck-up, spoilt and bitchy, to a certain extent. I need advice on developing their perdonalities, reinforcing themes (humour and adventure) and I also need ideas for a major plot twist (obviously PM me those).

A question I have is what of other legendaries whilst Mewtwo is on its rampage. I.e. Rayquaza, since the other two get involved it seems logical that it would as well. Also it is easy enough to continue this train of thought that if Mewtwo was messing stuff enough would he invoke the wrath of Diagla/Palkia/Giratina, or even the lord and creator Arceus. (Who comes down in bug form and eats mewtwo for fun?) Also Mew, seeing as he wasn't around during the first battle what happens when it resurfaces and is all "Aww shit! MEEWWTWOOOO!!" -insert Mew rage here-

The rest of the legendaries pretty much don't get involved. Rayquaza was pretty much the same story as Kyogre/Groudon; its windstorms were released against the world, causing tornado-strength dust storms all over the place. I forgot to plug it in, i guess.

As for Palkia, Dialga, Giratina - Mewtwo isn't messing with them or their domains; they have weightier responsibilities, like ensuring the continuity of canon, than one upstart Pokemon. If he ever went time-traveling, or tried to warp space or create antimatter, then they might object.

The legendary Birds and Dogs aren't strong enough to challenge Mewtwo, which goes for most of the rest. Darkrai is happy because it's much more fodder for nightmares, Cressalia is too busy trying to soothe them, Mew likely challenged Mewtwo after Mewtwo had gotten the true measure of its powers. As for Arceus... he's been captured by some Trainer, and is likely going to be the salvation of the world... eventually.

As to the combustion thing, I can't think of a good reason why it would change so I was just going to gloss over it; Fire Pokemon had to adapt, but they were able to somehow. Overly scientific explanations simply get in the way at times, so I was just going to handwave and make a few references to it.

Originally Posted by evanfardreamer

The rest of the legendaries pretty much don't get involved. Rayquaza was pretty much the same story as Kyogre/Groudon; its windstorms were released against the world, causing tornado-strength dust storms all over the place. I forgot to plug it in, i guess.

As for Palkia, Dialga, Giratina - Mewtwo isn't messing with them or their domains; they have weightier responsibilities, like ensuring the continuity of canon, than one upstart Pokemon. If he ever went time-traveling, or tried to warp space or create antimatter, then they might object.

The legendary Birds and Dogs aren't strong enough to challenge Mewtwo, which goes for most of the rest. Darkrai is happy because it's much more fodder for nightmares, Cressalia is too busy trying to soothe them, Mew likely challenged Mewtwo after Mewtwo had gotten the true measure of its powers. As for Arceus... he's been captured by some Trainer, and is likely going to be the salvation of the world... eventually.

As to the combustion thing, I can't think of a good reason why it would change so I was just going to gloss over it; Fire Pokemon had to adapt, but they were able to somehow. Overly scientific explanations simply get in the way at times, so I was just going to handwave and make a few references to it.

Ok fair enough, it was more just curiousity as to whether you had thought about what the others would be doing around this time.
And as for the sciencey bit I was just again curious and wouldn't have expected anything to be truly detailed with in your story for the reason you suggested. The only thing I think would possibly work is that Mewtwo reduced the quantities of oxygen within the air thus limiting oxidation involved in combustion. But that has its problems due to trainers breathing. In otherwords hand waving is probably the best way to go

Originally Posted by Buzzer

Ok fair enough, it was more just curiousity as to whether you had thought about what the others would be doing around this time.
And as for the sciencey bit I was just again curious and wouldn't have expected anything to be truly detailed with in your story for the reason you suggested. The only thing I think would possibly work is that Mewtwo reduced the quantities of oxygen within the air thus limiting oxidation involved in combustion. But that has its problems due to trainers breathing. In otherwords hand waving is probably the best way to go

I really like this whole idea too. The combustion thing does prove an interesting point though. Fire needs three things: air, fuel, and something to burn. Maybe Mewtwo doesn't necessarily reduce the oxygen in the air, but since his power has grown (considerably so, if he's doing all he's doing), there could be excess that flows off of him and distorts the atmosphere. Or it could 'dampen' the energy of things, making it sort of like an anti-fuel or make it harder to burn. Or something. If it fails you should probably just wave it by :D

So who's going for what in the Winter Writing Contest? I'm going for Absol. On a side note, it'll be funny if my Absol story gets into the voting before my Scyther story gets graded. Just throwing that out there. :)

Originally Posted by evanfardreamer

So who's going for what in the Winter Writing Contest? I'm going for Absol. On a side note, it'll be funny if my Absol story gets into the voting before my Scyther story gets graded. Just throwing that out there. :)

Not sure if I'm entering my Solrock/Lunatone story, or another story I've been working that has an undecided Mon yet (might do a story deal with this story)

Question was answered kindly.


For the Winter Story Competition, do the stories need any limit to be in? Or can you write for any poke.

I'm going to be submitting a story for two Abra. I all ready have parts of it up, but it's not done, so I can still submit it. ^_^

It's going to be The Moral Highground: Part Four for me. And once again it's going to be three mons. Happy reading my long story everyone :)

Originally Posted by Coasting Wingull

Question was answered kindly.


For the Winter Story Competition, do the stories need any limit to be in? Or can you write for any poke.

Write for whatever tickles your fancy.

I'm hoping to get a P-Z fic in successfully (so not going to happen in time). You might want to go for a Burmy. Whatever floats your boat and skins the cat.

Originally Posted by Scourge of Nemo

I'm hoping to get a P-Z fic in successfully (so not going to happen in time).

You can do anything. In fact, I'll start working on my time machine now, so I can make sure we all have time to finish. Or maybe not.

Just wondering, if an entry for the contest attempted to capture multiple mons, would you have to be successful on all of them or at least one?

At this rate, my story is turning into a novel with no good break up points...

Just one.

I think I'll enter my Porygon story ^^;

As long as it doesn't have to be Christmas themed...

Don't worry. That would be awful on multiple levels. I don't even know what I'd do for my story, if that were the case. "AND THE DEAD MANY LAY BELOW A SPRIG OF MISTLETOE, BLEEDING INTO THE CHRISTMAS WRAPPINGS."

...Not a creature was stirring, not even a-

ZOMG A MOTHERFUDGING ZOMBEH IN A SANTA SUIT!