DISCLAIMER: No, we do not really write like this. Okay, so, me and Chainy are fans (can you call it that?) of an absolutely terrible, horrific Harry Potter fanfic called My Immortal. It is the worst of the worst of the worst, and in Chainy's own words 'It's about as close to the abyss as you can get.' Basically, this is a troll story parodying bad fan fiction. We decided we'd try to get some Pokemon out of it, and before anyone objects saying we didn't work hard enough to earn them, believe me when I say, this is much harder to write than normal fan fiction. Maybe it's my goffik side talking, but I want to hurt myself now. Anyways, yeah, that's my disclaimer. Hope you enjoy. Also, here's the original My Immortal if you're interested/a sadist.
Home - my immortal
Oh, one last thing, I'm reserving this for SCOURGE TO GRADE, BECAUSE I KNOW SHE WANTS TO.
Pokemon Attempted: Weedle and Burmy
Needed Characters: 6k
Actual Characters: 6600
wuns there wus a gurl named akalsa, she wuz preti and had lawng blond hair. all de bois wanted to do it wit her. Sumtimes she did, but most times, she was liek, ‘no ur a purv.’ den wun day, she turned 16 and she got hur pokemanz lisense in the male. so she went to prof. Oke and he sed, u can hav wutever pokeman u want, so she sed, ‘I wanna tailow, becuz it was hur favrit, but he was liek, ‘no, I don’t hav thos, i lied, i only haz dis pokemanz,’ and he gived hur a weedl an it was a shiny widle, n she wuz liek, ‘I can haz,’ and he let hur has it, and she ran outside, and dats when she met chiany.
Chiny was a supar pro pokemons battler coz he had like burmy and surskit and even a seedot!! And he said “hi im chiany wuts ur name” and alkasa sed “hi im alaksa but u can call me lazky” and he said “ok” then cut himslf cos he waz sad. Alaska askd him y he wuz sad and he sad “cuz I dunt hav a weeedle” and asalka’s eyes shot up coz she had an ideea!!1!
‘chany, she sed, I haz a widel, and i can traed u it’ and he got exercited and wuz liek, oh kool, wut do I hav to giv u. n she wuz liek, ‘u hav to do it wit me’, and he was liek, ‘no dats grose, sides i liek wintur, n lazka wuz liek, ‘fien, den u hav to beat me in a pokeman battul’ and den she put on eyelenier n she looked goffik and cool and stured off into the distance wit drama. den she pulled out a poekball out of her pocket and it wuz pink and had stickers on it and wun wuz of flutersky a my littul poni, cuz she loved that sho, and there were black harts on it, cause she wuz super goffik and liek no wun understud her. next she through the pokebal and it hit the ground and hur weedle popped out and chinay wuz liek ‘I kno i can beat it. HART OF KARDS’ and threw a poeklbal
Sedot cam out and it was lyk a little bal except with fet n it mad a cute nois cept it wuz cryin teers of blood. Chany sed “k ceedot use ur supr power bide attack” bt alaska wasn’t dum so she sed “im not gon hrut u cos then ull hurt me mor so widdle use string shut on it” and then widle used streng shot and da white coverd seedt and chiany laughd cos it lookd like da stuf tht cam out when MCR came onto his iPod.
Lazka strted nodding hur head, cuz she liedk this song, n she was liek ‘chinay u hav guud taste in music, but ima beat u up, now widil use ur streeng shut attk, and weedul made dis wite, streeng cum out its but, and it luked liek the stuf dat came out of bois when she did it with dem, n she wuz liek, ‘gros, n chany was liek, ‘yeah i kno, I told u,’ and teh streeng hit deh seedut, and the cdot coulndt do nuffing, cuz it wuz biding, n it cried moar blud, and den chiny treid to slit its rists, but it didnt hav ny and dey both cerid all over. Den lazky luuked to teh cide n she saw NAER. Near wuz masticating all over, n she wuz liek ‘U PURVURT. Ima tell hary n scourge on u.’ n she went n told hary and scurge, n chany wuz liek ‘but u need 2 battul me, n she wuz liek, but n3ar is a purburt, he needs 2 git baned, n chaiany wuz liek, ‘k, ur right, let me help, n so dey went 2 talk to scurge n hairy.
Scourge wuz in a big blak hous that had blud and skullz al over it n chaine sed “I dun wana go in heer” but lakasa sed “u hav 2” so chiany put on his fave MCR song an startd to bob his head n they walkd thru the door which was goffik n hot. then suddenly scrouge was ther an she waz reding a big book and chainy sed “wow that’s a big bok” n she sad “yes its how to kil people wivout touchin dem cos im a witch” n alaksa sed “dats cool” and cried sum teirs that wer black. Da wetch askd her wut wuz rong and alkasa sed “n3ar wuz perving on me will u help me get hairy to ban him” and scourg said “yes and my last nam is kullen” so they lft to get hairy bt scurge brught her book so she cud keep reding whil chiny drov his nite-blac convrtibl wiv stanist music plying.
so den all tree of dem went 2 harys house, wich wuz in teh middul of a forest, n thar were buterflys and pokemanz and thar wuz so much son, that it hert scurge n she had to war a kloak to cuver hur hed so she wuldnt get berned cuz she wuz a vampeir witch and had magik but not in teh sun, so even though she lurved hary liek a bruther, she kouldnt visit him unless sumthing wuz wrong in pokeurpgland. Finaly they gut to hairys hous, n nocked on da door, n he answord and he sed ‘hi lazky, scurge, n chiny, wai are u here?’ and aksala sed ‘near terid to masticate on chiny and me, and we need to ban him or hell start masticating on evry1, liek pigde n TDE n stuf, can u ban him?’ and hary was liek ‘we kant ban neer, hes just a stanist, he cant help bein bad, we hav to convurt him to pokemanz, n den hell be good, and den scurge slit her rists n sturted to die n alazka wuz liek NO SCURGE, I LUV U, UR MAI BEST FRIND, n chany strted cutting every1s rist, cuz he lieks scurge, but then she didnt die, n dey went to go c neer, n btw, hary is not goffik, he dusnt approv of goffiks, he wuznt waring any black, but he nows all teh urpg peeoplez are goffik, n he luvs them, so its cool, piece, rite? It wuz ttlly kawaii.
Dey all got into chanys car n he brut out his burmy n sed this is burmy n he wil beat u alkasa but nt untl we go convrt neer to pokemanz. Then scurge put on some goffik music and they all listened n cried blud xcept hary who just loked out at the scenry which wuz all blak cos urpg is goffik. Then alkasa an scourg mad out and chiny and hairy watchd cuz it wuz hot. they got 2 nears hous and it was vry big n chany sad “lol its cos his thing is small” cos he watchd Shrek n thot that joke was funne when shrek sad it an they all laughd. They went in2 neer’s hous which waz not goffik an thy found him watchin glee n he was masticatin again! n hairy sed “stop that” an alaks screamd cos it was yuck n chiany sed “lol it IS small”.
Den hairy wuz liek, ‘neer I luv u, u dont hav 2 b stanist nymor, n lazky n scurge n chiny will tak guud care of u 4ever if u want dem 2. and neer wuz liek ‘ok sur’ and dey all strted macking out n lazky tuuk off hur pants, and den chiny wuz liek BAD TUCH n so dey stoped, bcuz dats wai dey wur mad at neer furst, rite? den monbry came in wit a nife and he sed ‘dats not a nife, dis is a nife’ n he slit all ther rists and dey died, n did he slit his rists and deid and it wuz super goffik and den, ever1 strted moving agan, and alaksa wuz liek ‘luk, wer vampires!!1! and scurge wuz liek ‘nao im a super vampre, liek bufy. Dats hawt’ and wen dey all woke up frum bein ded, dey all had knew close frum hot topic and alazka wuz so happy she gived chiny hur weedul n din he creid blud caz he wuz happy n den every1 maed out.
Final Words: I am so sorry for everyone that read that. XD PLEASE FORGIVE US. Okay, bai nao, dat wuz kawaii!