Target Pokémon: Machop (Simple, 5-10K)
Pokéjail: A Journalized Experience
June 27 10:52pm
Well, it finally happened. Sure, I could tell you, reader of this journal, exactly what it is that has happened, but then that would spoil all the mystery of the rest of the days. This is a journal after all; there’s gotta be some direction for us to move towards. This first entry is essential an intro entry. I don’t really plan on anyone finding out about this book o’ thoughts, but I’m sure it’s bound to happen. So in the instance that this happens, I guess I’ll start the first log by introducing myself. Hello. I’m CT, and I am a Pokémon. A Machop to be more precise. That’s enough for this first day though; I’ll pick this up tomorrow. Or maybe the day after, I don’t know, I haven’t decided yet.
June 29 5:35pm
So now that we are slightly acquainted with one another, or rather you slightly acquainted with me, we can get this show on the road! Long story short (which will eventually be explained in a semi-lengthy manor), I am currently in Pokéjail. Yes, that mystery from two days ago (which is probably closer to 30 seconds ago in the actual world) is that I am currently serving a one year sentence. The details of my crime are not important. Besides, they’re awfully private too. At least by me dinner first! What do I look like, some sort of Teddiursa? It’ll take more than a few shiny things to catch my attention. Anyways, I digress. It’s weird that I’ve been in jail for two days now and still haven’t really spoken much about it. I reckon I can tell you about my first two nights that I’ve had. The first day, I was in a holding cell most of the time. Eventually, I was put into a two man cell with a very nice fellow Fighting-Type Pokémon. I don’t recall his name, but he was one of those temper-driven furballs known as Mankey. He wasn’t all too bad, a pretty nice fellow, minus his anger issues. Thankfully though, I was only in this place for one day. Come morning, I was being transferred to a new dorm. A bigger dorm…
June 30 3:32pm
This new dorm was huge, at least 150 Pokémon. Bunk beds were as far as the eye can see, and an atrocious smell filled the air. Clearly, the only word that could be used to describe the stench was “dank”. I was greeted by a different Fighting-Type in here. I had never seen his kind before. Apparently he was from this place called the Unova region. Scrafty? I believe that’s what he was. This was the first dorm that I noticed a separation of types too. However, Scrafty hanging out with the Fighting-Type struck me as a bit odd, because he was also a Dark-Type. Maybe he sees himself as more Fighting than Dark? Poor guy, I feel bad for him. They also made Aprijuice in here! But, it wasn’t Aprijuice. Honestly, I don’t think I’m supposed to mention what it is. It’s apparently highly illegal to have that while in here. So, reader of mine, ignore that sentence!
July 3 10:22am
A couple of days ago I was transferred to another dorm, the current dorm that I’m in. It’s a lot smaller too, only 36 bunks. It’s a lot more pleasant in this room. The floors are immaculately cleaned, the air doesn’t smell like Trubbish (even though I’ve never met one, this is according to that Scrafty), and we even have a television in the room to watch Pokébattles! It is indeed exponentially better being a trustee than in the other rooms. Oh, by the way, a trustee is an inmate who happens to work while serving his time. It makes the days go by a lot faster too! Oh yeah, I also met a new friend in here. He’s a Diglett that goes by the name of Josh. He’s a really kind Pokémon too; he let me have half of his sandwich after mine fell. These big bulky arms of mine sure can get clumsy when I try to hold something small.
July 9 9:13pm
I feel that keeping a journal is a lot harder than I originally thought it would be. There are not enough variations in the days for me to warrant a journal entry. Half of them would simply read “woke up, ate, worked, ate, slept”. Today was different though! One of my friends in here, a Zubat named Broody, received his release pass today! I've seen a couple of Pokémon get the chance to go home early before their full time served was up, but this was the first time it's been to someone I considered a friend. It came just in time for him too. There was some trouble on the docks where we work today. I guess Broody was trying to smuggle in some Rare Candies and got caught by some of our fellow inmates. A lot of the other Pokémon in our dorm were not pleased with him. He really could’ve caused a huge problem by doing that. It could've been worse though. If one of the Arcanine had found out, they would've made life miserable for all of us. It's a good thing he ended going back home. There was talk that we might’ve had to kick his ass. Er, well, whatever the equivalent to a buttocks is for a Zubat.
July 12 1:13am
I was having a bit of trouble sleeping tonight. So, in light of my inability to sleep, I figured now is as good a time as ever to let you in on the whole story of my current predictament. Or is it spelled predicament? I honestly can never remember. Oh look at me, stalling at telling the story. Well, to be honest, this all began on June 14. Of last year. Oh yeah, this tale is over a year old already. Well, to be truthfully honest (as opposed to being untruthfully honest) I was involved in a car accident on that morning. My (now ex) girlfriend, the most beautiful Riolu ever, and I both had rough days, so we decided to go out and relax with some "Lemonade". Instead of doing the sane thing of staying put, we decided to go out for a ride. Little did we know this would be our last drive together for some time. Another car cut us off and we crashed. I still don't know exactly what happened; it's still a bit fuzzy to me. The next clear memory I have is smelling smoke and opening my eyes to the destruction laid out before me. The truck we were driving in was demolished. The windshield was shattered into tiny pieces scattered all over the road, glistening under the dim lights that were my former headlights. And then there was her. She was in pain, crying for help, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. Thankfully our crash was witnessed by another Pokémon who called an ambulance for us.
The next 10 minutes felt like an eternity; it seemed like forever for the Chansey and Blissey to show up. When they finally showed up, I refused for them to help me out first. I was getting ready to muster up what little strength I had left to unleash a Karate Chop on them if they didn't help her. Thankfully (for me and for them) they listened to my pleads and took care of her. The next clear memory I have is being transported to the Pokécenter for surgery. Turns out I broke my left leg in the accident. However, my passenger wasn't as fortunate as me. She shattered her spine and is currently paralyzed. I spent the next two miserable weeks in the hospital, wondering if she would ever forgive me for allowing this to happen. Don't worry reader, she has. Though at the time, that was the worst moment in my life. It still is to me; being here serving time isn't nearly as bad as being in the hospital wondering what's happening with her recovery.
They wanted to send me to jail as soon as I got out. However, my injuries were still too severe that I would actually be a liability while in their custody. So instead, they slapped an electric anklet on me and sentenced me to house arrest. Which wasn't to bad honestly. Friends could still visit me. I would go to bed and wake up each morning in my own bed. The only thing was that I could no longer leave, which wasn't as maddening as I thought it would be. Anyways, after all that time on house arrest, here we are today. A Machop that made a terrible mistake who is serving his time, all while writing in a journal. It's getting pretty late now though, so I'm gonna have to stop writing here. It was good talking about this, whoever it is who is reading this.
July 15 7:32pm
Josh isn’t in too great of a shape recently. He has seen 7 Pokémon leave in the past 2 days. He’s pretty torn up about it. Though he did get mail today, so that might cheer him up. I miss Broody though, he was cool. I was like the only one who didn’t have any beef with him. I decided to read a couple of books during my stay here. I’ve actually completed two books while in here: Catcher in the Rhydon and Operating Instructions. I liked them both. They were muy bueno. Oh yeah, also, I talked to my friend Kim, a Vulpix, last night over the phone! She wanted to explore on her own for a bit and went all the way to Hoenn. She had just gotten back in earlier today. Twas a good talk indeed; I think I really needed to hear her voice after these past couple of days. Truthfully, it doesn’t feel like I’m in jail some days. It feels like I’m in some sort of social experience. I really gotta get out of her though; this place just isn’t for me.
July 18 7:06am
Well, it’s been 3 weeks now. I’d say the mornings are the hardest. It’s quiet, only a couple of people are awake at this time. This time being 7 in the morning. It’s not exactly my cup of tea. This one Farfetch’d almost got rolled up for talking back the other day to a Growlithe. Plus, he had two leek sticks on him. It almost looked like he was going to cause a huge problem for the rest of the room, but the Growlithe and Arcanine wound up just taking away the leek sticks he had. Oh yeah, before I forget to mention, I had an extremely productive day this past Saturday. I did 100 push-ups against a table, 25 crunches with Billy and Joseph, a Combusken and an Elekid respectively, walked about 10 laps, and even jogged one lap! It felt good to jog that lap, especially since I haven’t put that much pressure on my leg since the accident. Though I gotta admit, my arms are terribly sore now. My stomach still feels that burn too! It’s a good burn though. Besides all that though, nothing new has happened. Heh, it’s jail, not much is gonna happen.
Captain’s Log: July 21 0800 hours
I don’t know why I wrote it like that today. I guess I’m feeling in a slightly goofy and sorta silly mood. Or maybe I’m starting to lose my grip with reality. We’ve gotten a few more youngsters in recently, all pretty chill dudes too. The watch commander knows one of them or something I think; I’m not all too sure. It’s his first time in jail though. He’s handling it pretty well for a newbie. It’s pretty cool to see him react to things like “spreads” just like I first did. I remember the first time I had a spread. It was extremely delicious. I’m still impressed by the thought to combine ramen, chips, bologna, chicken patties, and hot water into a scrumptious brick that is loaded with flavor. He looks at them with such awe and wonder. I think that’s as close to adorable as you can get while in jail. I felt bad that Joseph couldn’t talk to his gal the other day, so I gave him one of my phone cards. Oh yeah, and Phil, a Sandile, found out I was an ordained minister and would like me to perform a marriage over the phone for him and his girl. He also wants me to do the real deal one once we’re all out too! I’m honored that he wants me to do this for him. These guys have become like another family to me. There are some days I want to go home. Then there are other days, like today, that I feel like I could handle the time here.
The 25th of July 5:15pm
It has now been four weeks in Pokéjail. I can’t believe it; in two days will be one month. Honestly, I’m over this whole jail thing. There are days I just want to walk up to the Growlithe who is standing watch at our door and just ask him if I could leave now. Heh, ask if there’s some sort of “early check-out fee” or something that I would need to pay. I probably would ask too if I wasn’t afraid of being hit with a Flamethrower. However, I am proud of the good work I’ve done while here. I lent O.G. Andy, who is a very aged Golduck, my card on Saturday so he can work things out with his wife. I’m glad I had the opportunity to help him with that. I’ve also put my ordained ministership to use. Twice! I performed a marriage for Joseph and his lady on Saturday night, then one for Phil and his gal the next day. As much as I miss home and want to get the hell out of here, I see that I still have work to do. It feels like the end of “Here Comes the Hammer Arm” when Dr. Light talks to Joe.
Joe, when you see Emily,
Tell her to wait for me.
‘Cause I still have work to do…
2 de Agosto, 1 y media de la tarde
Look at me being all fancy and practicing my Spanish in jail. Big news: today is my 36th day in jail. Which is also known as my 10% day! I've seen a few lucky Pokémon get to leave while only serving 10% of their time. I hope that I'll be one of them today. Though, honestly, I’m expecting to be here for a while; I’ve come to accept the fact that this will be my new place of residence for a while. Don’t get me wrong, I would absolutely love to leave soon, but I just don’t see that happening. It’s weird when people say I haven’t learned my lesson yet and that I should be here longer. Honestly, they have no idea if I have or haven’t. In all seriousness, I have learned my lesson. I learned it a year ago while lying in the hospital bed. In my honest opinion, my lesson was learned on June 14 of last year. You tend to learn quickly when the thought of losing someone might just become a reality. But that was all a year ago. Now, I’m just extremely cheerful in my own optimism. A couple of guys are waiting to see if I’ll start to crack and move away from this “joy” that I have. Honestly, I might have snapped long ago, who knows? That could explain my upbeat attitude while in this hell-hole. I don’t have the answer to that question at this time. There is only one thing I know for certain: come midnight, my 10% will be up and it would officially be Kim’s birthday. I plan on keeping my tradition of calling her at midnight to wish her a happy birthday. Though you know what would be an amazing gift? Being out for her special day of celebration. We’ll see. There are still plenty of hours left in the day. Gonna have to stop writing, a Growlithe came in with another release pass. Let's hope it's mine! [/wishful thinking]
August 2 (Part 2) 6:07pm
AND A MIRACLE HAS HAPPENED! As of writing this sentence, I am finally back home with my beloved family and friends. I still can't believe it; this all still feels like a dream. You don't even understand the level of frustration I would have if this all turns out to be a delusion and I wake up tomorrow still in that soul sucking building.
I reckon it would be nice to tell this one last little story: the story of how my release pass came. Like I said when I stopped writing a little over four hours ago, a Growlithe came into our dorm flaunting a release pass for one of us. However, unlike the usual just calling out the name and telling us to pack it up, he wanted to play a little game with this one. He wanted us to guess which one of us he thought it belonged to! Nearly the whole room said Dave, a Snorlax. Dave has been there for nearly eight months. It just had to be him. Honestly, no one would be more deserving than him to leave that place. Unfortunately for him, the pass was not his. Then bittersweet excitement began to take over the dorm. "If it wasn't Dave, it could be mine!" was probably the most common thought amongst us. The Growlithe started giving us clues about the lucky recipient of the pass. His first clue being that it belonged to someone with a bunk number in the 20's. Just like that, we knew it would be one of ten. The other Pokémon began to guess numbers. During those whole moment, I'm having a fantastic conversation with Josh. It definitely wasn't his since he sleeps on bunk 16, and I had just accepted that I'll be there for the foreseeable future. Then the Growlithe sat by four bunks: 26, 27, 28, and 29. He told us that one of these four is the one to go home today. At that moment, I started listening just a bit more. He was in my area, but I kept trying to push that thought out. How could it be me? That's ridiculous! But yet, I knew it was oh so possible. "Bunk 28," he said to us. I shat bricks at that moment. Me? Really? Could this be some sort of sick joke for the amusement of the guards? He trotted over to me, looked me square in the eye, and said "that's you isn't it?"
I couldn't believe it. Sure enough, the release pass had all my info and that glorious word "release" written on it. I gathered up my possessions, a couple of letters and some cookies, and proceeded to give all of my newly acquired friends goodbye hugs. It was incredibly bittersweet; I finally get to go home, but I'm definitely gonna miss those guys. They truly were good people.
And here I am, writing in this journal that cataloged my experiences in Pokéjail. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a certain Riolu that I haven't seen in way too long that I must go hug.