Pendant [WWC]

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    Default Pendant [WWC]

    Bold = Edited parts.


    -Also fixed grammatical errors incl. dialogue tags
    -Added more emotional depth
    -Lengthened it
    -Strengthened ending

    Pokemon: Porygon
    CC Needed: 40k

    PENDANT


    In a bright sitting room two children sat on a rug, beside the fireplace. The boy, no older than eight years of age, had mousse coloured hair and his hazel eyes were wide with fascination as he watched the magenta flames dance around in the hearth. His older sister sat next to him, stroking a little Skitty on her lap. The playful Skitty pawed at her long blonde hair happily. This appeared as though it was an example of a perfect family in a perfect little world. But, this world was far from perfect.

    There was a loud scraping sound coming from the other side of the wall.

    The girl screamed as strong fists pounded against the concrete wall. Suddenly, a mangled claw shot through the wall, showering the pair with splinters. The thirteen year old girl screamed as she dragged her brother up to his feet.

    “They’re here, they’re here!” she screamed as another hand shoved its way through the plasterboard and began scratching at the wall, trying to make an entrance. A woman sprinted into the room at a blinding speed.

    “Go to the emergency room, go, go, GO!” the mother shouted at her frightened children as she pulled a large brass coal scoop out of the fire and whacked at one of the groping hands. There was a thud and a hiss as the beast pulled its hand back, fearing the heat. But, no sooner had the mother of the two children lowered the makeshift weapon than the creature burst through the wall, showering the blonde-haired woman with powdery dust.

    The creature looked as though it had come straight from a horror movie, bony taught torso, hairless head and covered in strips of rotting flesh. The girl snapped to her senses and ran out of the room, her brother stumbled a little as he made to go. His eyes quivered and he knew that no amount of training would prepare him for this moment. One of the only reasons they were alive to this day was the training their mother had given them, as an ex-federal. Little phrases like "love no one; survive" were thrown at them and they were subjected to harsh conditions- being forced to fend for themselves to toughen up. She may seem like a cruel mother, but if it meant the difference between life and death, it was worth it.

    The creature’s head shot up, looked at the two fleeing humans, before returning to the mother. The mother swung the metal scoop wildly, but apart from knocking the hideous creature a little off balance, it did nothing. Its pointed head darted downwards and it’s mouth arched open, revealing rows of jagged yellow teeth and a smell of stale blood penetrated the mother’s nose. She kicked and screamed, but it was too late, the once-human beast tore into her flesh and ripped it to shreds. It’s clawed hands ripped her stomach open and poked at the juicy inards greedily. The woman gave a weak cry as she slowly, painfully, passed from this world. Her face glazed over as death overcame; a permanent look of fear embedded into those eyes, face lined with worry. She didn't feel anything but fear for her own as she abandoned them... Left to fend for themselves.

    Meanwhile, the pair ran down the lavishly long corridor leading to the hatch. They passed serene blue walls littered with portraits of wealthy aristocrats and famous people. The pair ran past an oaken chest of drawers, when the boy stopped abruptly. He turned around and looked down the corridor.

    “W-will mother be okay?” he whimpered. The girl gave him a sympathising smile and reached for his arm. His arm retreated backwards as his face filled with worry and sorrow. “Will she be okay?” he asked again.

    “The vibrant emerald-eyed girl paused for a moment. “I really don’t know, Senna. But, we won’t be okay if we don’t hurry!” she snapped. She, just like her mother, was tough and would not let the creatures get her, or her brother for that matter.

    “B-but… okay. But, I’m taking this so I can give it to her when we see her next,” he said as his hand lowered and cooped up his mother’s favourite necklace and pocketed it. He gave his sister a gentle nudge and the pair started to sprint once more. They rounded a corner and saw a large, ornate tapestry, the entrance to the emergency room. The two gave one final surge as they scrabbled forward, but froze instantly when they heard a sickening growl from somewhere behind them. The creature wasn’t too close, yet he would be if they didn’t speed up. Finally the pair reached the tapestry as the monster rounded the corner. The girl dove in through the gap and grabbed the vault door, ready to seal it, but her brother hadn’t arrived. He had turned around and stooped down to pick up the necklace, which he must have dropped.

    “RUN, SENNA!” the girl screamed.

    He picked it up hurriedly and pounded towards the door. He too, dove in, but he jerked backwards as the monster’s claws wrapped around the dangling necklace. The boy’s hazel eyes filled with horror and then anger as he saw crimson liquid drip from the monster's blood-soaked face. The cream coloured-jewel in the center of the necklace flashed a deep-red colour as anger rushed through the innocent boy. The undead creature screeched with pain as his its hand started to sizzle. The boy tightened his grip around the necklace and dove inside the vault, which closed immediately afterwards, leaving the two in near pitch-black darkness. The only source of light coming from the pendant, which had returned to its usual cream colour; the only sound was of the rasping sounds the zombie was making.

    ***

    The boy’s eyelids snapped open suddenly, revealing a pair of hardened hazel eyes, partially covered by long, matted brown hair. His pale face was covered in fresh cuts and bruises. His eyes were panic stricken as he looked around the small area he was lying in. But, they relaxed seeing his sister lying next to him. Her vibrant emerald eyes had a slightly glazed over look to them. They came to focus as she noticed her brother staring at her.

    “We survived the night then,” she said with a half-assed smile.

    “Unfortunately,” the moody teenager replied, as his fingers drummed along the tightly-closed steel bars.

    “Don’t be like that. You, of all people, should know better than to disrespect the life you have been given. Not much people have the opportunity we have,” she said plaintively.

    “Opportunity?” he snorted.“Hardly! That zombie should have just killed us when he killed mum!” the boy snapped.

    “Shut up!” the girl roared. “Why bring her into this? She brought us into this world. You should be grateful. We all should be grateful.”

    “Yeah, that’s right. I should be grateful that that bitch brought us to this world of pain and misery,” he said, rather nastily.

    “Stop it!” his older sister said, wiping a salty tear from her cheek. “Why are you so horrible? She died to save us!” she choked, voice croaking with emotion.

    “Whatever,” the boy retorted as he made to stand up. His hands gripped the bars overhead, and, gave them a mighty shove, sending the shopping trolley, their cover from the previous night, sprawling onto the ground. It made a loud ringing noise that echoed along the gloomy alley. “I’m getting breakfast. You want in?” he said as he began heading down the alleyway.

    She didn't reply; to reply was to start a new argument and she couldn't take much more of them

    “Nerd!”

    ***

    “Mel, you know I’m afraid of the dark,” the boy, known as Senna, said.

    “I know, I know. Please try and be brave,” his sister said, twirling a strand of her long blonde hair between her fingers.

    “Is that the monster?” the boy asked as they heard frantic scratching noises from the other side of the emergency room’s walls.

    “I sure hope not. Just try and think of happy thoughts,” his sister said, surprisingly calmly.

    “Happy thoughts? What kind of happy thoughts?”

    “Remember your eight birthday in May?”

    “Yeah, that was the best!”

    “There was a big cake that I baked for you and you got so many gifts. A remote-control racing car from uncle Max. And… and a new football from mum,” his sister said, trying to ease the mind of her younger brother.

    “Oh no! Mum is still out there,” he wailed. “Poor mummy, poor, poor mummy. Mel?”

    “Yes, what is it?”

    “Are you certain she’ll be all-“ he stopped. “Where’s the scratching noises gone?”

    “Uh,” Melanie paused, realising that the noises had stopped, and that the monster had gone. “Stay quiet,” she whispered.

    “But, I’m scared Melanie. The dark scares me. I wish we had some light,” he muttered under his breath. “I really, really wish we had some light.[/b]"

    There was an odd sensation in the boys hand; a slow pulsing beat coming from the pendant. It was something he had never felt before, but rather than feel fear, he felt safety, warmth, security. Suddenly, the room exploded with light as the boy’s fist tightened around the pendant in his small pudgy hands. He looked around the makeshift bombshelter and it’s cramped exterior.

    “Hey look! There’s where my train set went.” Senna smiled as he jumped onto the floor and picked up a carved, hand-painted train. He ran it along the thick dusty carpet, forgetting the current predicament.

    The innocence of youth, Melanie thought to herself. But, where did that light come from? Her eyes focused on the jewel in her brother’s hand. Of course! Mummy said that it possessed special powers. Or, something. What did she say exactly? Melanie pondered.

    Only those of good heart… control the power within.

    Yeah, that sounded about right.

    ***

    “How far away is it?”

    “I don’t really know, Senna. According to the map Frostbridge town isn’t too far away. Five or ten miles away, I’m guessing.”

    “Well then, pick up the pace, Mel,” Senna said, scooping up his patched bag, made of tied up rags, and hanging it from one shoulder carelessly. Senna gave a quick flick of his overgrown hair, to keep it out of his eyes, and started walking once more.

    “Wrong way, genius!” Melanie sneered as she began walking in the opposite direction.

    “Oh yeah,” Senna growled. “What would you know, you clumsy fool? For all I know we might be a thousand miles away from this frost place.”

    “Fine then. Don’t take my opinion. I bet any money the zombies will get you before you even leave this town.”

    “Yeah, that’s right. They travel in broad daylight,” Senna said sarcastically.

    “Obviously you have your head stuck too far up your own ass to notice anything,” Melanie pouted.

    “What’s that suppose to mean then, Einstein?”

    “You seriously haven’t noticed a change in those creatures? They’re a lot faster and stronger now, for one. And, they are so much smarter and cunning now. Before they would climb over a greenhouse to see what was on the other side.”

    Senna gave a feeble laugh. “Now that you mention it, they do seem smarter,” Senna said shakily. “Remember what Will said?”

    “No. What did he say to you?” Melanie asked, turning around and looking at her brother as she walked.

    “Well, remember that month or so we spent wasting our lives in that reinforced house?”

    Melanie scowled. How could she forget?

    They had spent every day for a week building a shelter, a place to escape the night wanderers, and a place to be safe. But, they disbanded the idea when a friend of theirs, Will, was killed. Melanie stifled a sob as she remembered the gruesome fate that was bestowed upon Will. He had left early that morning, saying that he needed to “clear his head and get some fresh air”, but he returned as darkness began to plunge into the sky. He was different somehow. Instead of the usually optimistic person they had grown to love, he seemed gloomy and depression, and his mood changed suddenly, getting extremely defensive and aggressive as the night progressed. Then, when the zombies came, he rose from he collapsed onto the floor and started twitching and shivering feverishly.

    Melanie had lowered her hand onto Will’s shoulder to calm him, but as his head swerved around he had a somewhat demonic look to him. His features were extorted and his cheekbones poked out. But, the scariest thing of all were his eyes. They were a scarlet red colour and his pupils were a vibrant purple colour. Bulging pink veins poked out of his forehead causing Melanie to scream. As she withdrew her hand his head snapped forward, teeth gnashing at her excitedly. But, Senna had come along at the right time and hacked at Will with a blunt axe, Senna’s weapon of choice. Later that night, when disposing of Will’s chopped up remains the pair noticed a huge bith mark in the shoulder Melanie had touched earlier…

    It wasn't just the fact that Will was another person dead. Hundreds of people died every day: mothers, fathers, friends, enemies... no one was safe. Will was like a brother to them - he always kept their backs and would stop the two arguing. He taught them so much, he kept them safe... hell, he even acted as an idol of sorts. They needed someone to look up to, someone to feel safe around.

    Someone to keep them sane.


    “Are you alright?” Senna asked, standing in the narrow street, staring at his sister.

    “Yeah, fine. J-just remembering Will,” she stuttered.

    “Don’t worry. Everything'll be alright... Well, as long as we get a move on.” Senna grinned, pulling his sister to her feet.

    The two walked along the dusty road, making their way to Frostbridge town, the rumoured host of a working vaccine to the disease. But, had they known what was in store there, they never would have left.

    ***

    Younger Senna opened his eyes to find that he was in an entirely different world. All he could see was white. The floor, the ceiling, and everything stretching out into the distance was a bleached white colour, almost as though he was in an endless white square.

    “Hello,” Senna called. “Anyone there?” he called out, listening to his voice echo back to him. He braced himself for disappointment as he wasn’t expecting an answer.

    “Hello there,” a cheerful voice chimed. “My name is Porygon and I have brought you, Senna, into my dimension. Do you like it?”

    “Eh, yes. But, it’s a little too white for me,” Senna said, searching for the source of the noise. “Where are you exactly?”

    “Anywhere and everywhere…” the voice said, mysteriously vague, obviously not keen on displaying it’s whereabouts.

    Well, will you show me what you look like then?” Senna asked.

    “If that is what you wish, Little One,” the mysterious voice said.

    A moment later a red and blue square materialised a few metres in front of Senna. The square expanded, new panels forming making the shape of some sort of creature. The creature’s body was a bright pink colour and it had hexagon-shape, turquoise legs. It’s pointed chest and pointed nose were the same colour and so was it’s arched, pointed tail that came out of it’s rear. There was something that made this Pokemon seem really unusual though - it looked somewhat hollow, if that makes any sense.

    “How come you look different than the white around you? It’s almost like you’re popping out of the white walls...”

    “Ah, I am from the third dimension, as are you. Whereas, the “walls”, as you call them, are from another dimension - the second dimension. Take a look at yourself. You, too, are three dimensional,” the creature said, although it’s mouth never opened. "There is something in you, Senna."

    “What? Did I do something bad?” Senna asked.

    “No, no. Infact, you are a very special boy and you possess a very special item.”


    “I do?”

    “Yes, can you guess what?”

    Senna’s young face tightened with concentration as he wondered what the item is. “Oh, is it the necklace that my mummy owned?”

    “It sure is. Now that you know about the Pendant, can you guess where we are?” Porygon asked the young boy.

    “Are we inside it?” Senna asked after a short pause, recognising the white inside of the jewel.

    “You sure do catch on fast,” Porygon pointed out. “Now, we must have a very important conversation. Are you listening?”

    Senna nodded his head quickly, eager to know what Porygon had to say.

    “Senna,” Porygon started. “You are a very special boy, and, you have a very special item in your possession. The pendant is that item. It might not seem out of the ordinary to you, but a long time ago it was considered on of the rarest and most sought items in the whole world. You see, the pendant contains very special powers which intrigued foreign Kings and tyrants everywhere. Now, we’re going to take a journey. I sure hope you are ready.”

    “Yes, yes I am,” Senna said, barely able to contain his excitement. Then the white walls turned a deep sea blue, his vision went blurry and his he felt a straining sort of surge from behind his eyeballs, so intense he was forced to close his eyes. The throbbing pain disappeared after a few seconds and he allowed his eyelids to open as his nose caught a whiff of the sea - salty, brine smell. Senna could see waves splashing about in the distance. The ground below him turned into dirty, wooden planks and as he looked at it, taking it in, it began rocking slowly forwards and backwards, soothingly. A salty sea smell filled the boy’s lungs as his nostril’s inhaled. There were high wooden walls that arched inwards on the boy’s left and right and a huge, grey, moss-covered anchor lay to the boy’s right. A little ahead a large red flag waved about in the air. Senna quickly came to realise that he was on a ship with Porygon. But, Porygon was nowhere in sight.

    “Porygon?” Senna called out over the sound of the large, lapping waves crashing into the side of the ship. “Porygon, where are-“ Senna said before he was cut across by a huge, cracking sound as a bolt of lightning hit the sea nearby, illuminating the ship. Senna hadn’t noticed the weather before, but, now that he looked up he saw that the sky was overcast with plump, dark clouds ready to burst and shower the rain on Senna and the ship. Looking down at the sea, the sight of the violent waves made his stomach lurch a little. He backed up a bit as the boat gave a sudden jolt and he fell over, landing painfully on the hard wooden planks below him. As he made to get up, there was another cracking sound right behind Senna causing him to flinch, expecting lightning, but, this time it was Porygon. It’s eyes were a little glazed and Porygon looked uncharacteristically sad. It looked quite out of place to Senna with its bright radiant colours contrasting against the dark, almost faded colours surrounding them.

    “Sorry for the delay. I had to check out some things, but everything seems in order. There’s just one thing I need to tell you before we enter – the people and Pokemon inside can’t see, hear, or touch you. They will be completely immune to your presence, this is important to remember for later on. Got it?” Porygon said, but continued without awaiting Senna’s reply. ”Good, now let’s go in.”

    Senna followed Porygon obediently as the Pokemon hovered ahead. The pair headed towards a large cabin known to the people aboard the ship as the common room, the sailor’s lounge.

    “Oh, I almost forgot,” Porygon said suddenly. “This event happened nearly one hundred and years ago. Probably should have mentioned that earlier,” Porygon said as he levitated up to the large, oak door. As Senna followed he tried to peer through the glass on top. But, even standing on the tips of his toes, he still couldn’t see inside. Porygon glanced back at Senna before floating through the door. Senna felt his mouth drop open in shock and gingerly pressed his right hand against the door, but, his hand went right through the solid object.

    “Cool,” he muttered under his breath, more to himself than anyone else.

    When Senna entered the common room a completely different image met him, compared to the dreary outside. There were dark-skinned sailors, all clad in old-fashioned robes all sitting side-by-side on short benches on either side of a large, rectangular table. The sailors were singing and laughing, and some were gulping down large flagons of some alcoholic substance, whereas others were egging them on. Senna felt oddly out of place around these burly men all having a good time. There was a scratching sound as the man at the head of the table pushed his chair back and tapped at his glass with a spoon. The sound rang out and, one by one, the sailors stopped messing about and they all turned their attention to the man. The man was clearly an important figure, perhaps the captain. Like all of the other men he had dark skin, often seen in countries near the Mediterranean. He had black curly hair that fell as neats dreadlocks, down onto his shoulders. He had a long, pointed beard whicht was tied up with a red bobbin at the tip. He was wearing a velvet robe that trailed along the ground when he walked. His awkward bony fingers were covered in expensive golden rings with multi-coloured jewels. He had large golden chains wrapped around his neck, one of them attached to something familiar to Senna.

    “Look! He’s wearing my mom’s pendant around his neck!” Senna gasped.

    "Well spotted. That is what we have come for... for the most part."

    Porygon gave him a reproachful look before turning his attention back to the man. Then, Senna, gasped as he saw the man’s eyes for the first time. His pupils were a startling, almost-unnatural yellow colour and seemed to radiate his power. Senna found it hard to take his own chestnut-coloured eyes away from the man’s. There was something almost mesmerising about those bright irises.

    “Good evening, my good men. You have served me very well over the long days and nights we have spent together here on this dreaded ship,” the man said in a Jamaican accent. “For being the only remaining crew alive after these cursed months, I congratulate you,” the man said as the men clapped excitedly. “Ok, ok, settle down,” he said to no avail. “SETTLE DOWN!” he bellowed and the clapping stopped immediately. “That’s better. But, I’ve gathered you here for one reason. Usually, as you know, I eat in my own quarters, but someone has made that unacceptable. You see, someone had taken my own personal meat supply. You all know that that is completely unacceptable. So, I have had him punished, don’t expect to see him again as he is already dead.”

    Senna gulped a little. He could feel his throat going hoarse and his heart pounding against his chest, although he wouldn’t be punished, or, noticed as a matter of fact. He wiped his sweaty palms on his navy jeans and turned his attention back to the man speaking, but not before he noticed the anxious, knowing looks on all of the men sitting around. Most fidgeted uncomfortably as the stern leader's gaze overcame them.

    “But,” the man said slowly, clearly pausing for emphasis. “I believe he had an accomplice. There is no way one man could carry so much in such little time so I will give you one minute to admit it... Culprit, STAND UP!” the man barked at the crowd in general. The men all stared around at each other, or their own feet suspiciously and apprehenseively. Senna heard jumbled whisper scarry around the room; broken conversations covered by hushed whispers.

    “What meat supply?” … “Who did it?” … And to Senna's shock: “Who do we need to get rid of?” …

    Senna closed his eyes and whimpered a little. The time seemed to be dragging by way too slowly. Surely a minute was up by now? Then, the man waved his hand, calling for silence. “Is no one going to come clean?”

    He was answered by a deathly silence, one in which Senna could feel his buttocks clench and he wiped his sweaty palms quickly.

    “Yatley, I never did like you, so you shall feel my wrath!” the man shouted shaking with anger, amber eyes blazing with fury. Then, the pendant around his neck flashed a similar amber colour and started to vibrate rapidly. The jewel made a screeching noise and a beam of stunning blue light shot out and hit one of the larger men in the middle, right in the forehead. The world seemed to stop for Senna, the blue beam engulfed the man, similar to how a Pokeball did to a Pokemon after it had first been captured. The man's body shook and his face lit up with pain as though his inside's were on fire. The man’s pupils disappeared into his head and his whole body began to shake more fiercely. The beam diminished slightly before fading into non-existence. As soon as the beam had gone the man’shead slumped onto the table with a bang. Light, wispy strands of smoke rose up from his singhed hair, as he lay there motionless, clearly dead.

    “Dispose of him!” the leader spat.

    The walls and floor began to change and lighten in colour, the people vanishing along with the table and benches. Before Senna knew it they were back in the world of white.

    “W-w-why did you show me that?” Senna stuttered through chattering teeth.

    “So you will learn from it. Very few don’t succumb to the madness associated with great power.”

    "Oh... Do you think I would ever do something so… cruel?” Senna asked innocently.

    I just cannot answer that, Senna. You will not always be so pure. But it’s important you realise the power entrusted upon you,” Porygon said.

    “Where were those sailors going? Why didn’t they just kill that mean man in charge? What happened after we left?”

    “One question at a time please,” Porygon chuckled. Those sailors were among some of the first people from the Eastern hemisphere to travel to the West. They went in search of new lands and slaves, as well as raw materials, such as gold and rare spices. That leader would have became a dictator to those people in a matter of months, and become extremely wealthy as well. As for killing the man. One simple reason, his crew were too scared. But, don’t worry he was killed and the pendant tossed out into the sea few nights after the incident we have just witnessed. After that, the crew starved to death. They had no notion of what direction to go and their food supply couldn’t sustain them for too long anyway.”

    “That’s really sad,” Senna said dolefully.

    “It is a very sad story indeed.”

    “There’s just one thing I don’t get though.”

    “And what is that, Little One?” Porygon questioned.

    “How on earth did my mother get a hold of the pendant?”

    “Ah, I do know the answer to this, fortunately. Do you remember where she got it?”

    Senna’s face scrunched up in concentration. “Yeah, when we were on holidays in America. It was at a seaside stall I think,” Senna smiled.

    “Well, I think you know the answer yourself now… The merchant must have found it washed ashore one day and decided to sell it. Your mother, was very lucky in buying it.”

    Silence enveloped the two as they let their thoughts take over their tongues for a few moments. Senna, thinking about all of this recent information, still trying to take it all in. Porygon, however, was wondering how the boy would fare. He was young, yet wise, not too strong, yet not too weak either. He would certainly have to keep an eye on the boy from now on. Porygon decided it was time to conclude their first meeting and said the first words that broke the silence.

    “I think you are ready to go now. Make sure to relax and get as much sleep as you can. Rest is vital to the youth, and, keep an eye on Melanie, make sure that she’s alright. I probably won’t see you for some time so I have a gift for your sister,” Porygon said, rather morosely.

    Senna’s eyes shone excitedly. “A present! How come she gets one and I don’t?”

    “Your pendant is something far greater than anything I can ever give you. Melanie needs this in order to protect you. When you wake up you will have an object in your pocket. Use them wisely,” Porygon said with a tone of finality, causing the world of white squares to fade away and Senna’s eyes to droop slowly. Senna stifled one final yawn as his thumb rose and pushed into his mouth. Within seconds he was snoozing like a baby.

    ***

    “Senna, behind you!” Melanie screamed as she hurled an odd silver orb into the air. The orb emitted a flash of magnificent red light and the shape of a Pokemon materialised in front of Senna. The Pokemon looked like a round, pink gumball. It had a large red tongue that poked out of it’s mouth and yellow stripes along the bottom half of it’s body.

    “Lickilicky!” it roared as a ball of ice began to form in it’s mouth. It’s tongue wrapped around the rapidly expanding ball and spun it out of it’s open mouth, causing it to splinter into tons of mini dagger-like icicles, all hurtling towards the disgusting creature that had crept out of the shadows. The cyan shards pierced into the creature’s rotten flesh just moments later and Senna dove backwards, landing on the rough pavement floor near Melanie.

    “Licky, licky, LICKY!” the Lickilicky roared once more as a ball of magenta flames began to form in it’s mouth. The flames swirled around and around as they formed a greater ball of red, orange and yellow flames. It blew the flames out of it’s mouth using his Flamethrower attack. The burning flames licked at the sinister creatures flesh. The zombies backed away and hissed venomously at the trio, making sure to keep their distance.

    “Enough of this bullshit!” Senna spat as his right hand gripped onto the pendant dangling from his neck.

    A large transparent bubble formed around the two humans and the Lickilicky. The undead creature hissed and lunged at the bubble, claws outstretched. But, as soon as it hit the bubble of protection it was sent flying backwards, crashing into the cracked pavement. The zombie glared at them before scuttling away into the darkness. ter, it was like nothing had ever happened. had came once more.

    “Let’s get a move on. You know I can’t hold this bubble up for too long, and, he’ll be back. Next time, he’ll have friends,” Senna gulped. “Keep Lickilicky out and at the ready,” Senna commanded his sister.



    The pair walked on for some time until night was in full bloom and the brother and sister were trying to make the final stretch before nightfall. Melanie paused and rubbed her throbbing calves.

    “I don’t know how much we’ll be able to walk and those creatures will notice us eventually,” Melanie whispered. “How long do you think we can keep this invisibility shield up for?”

    “Not much longer, but we might have to stop soon. We aren’t going to get much further if we creep along at this snail’s pace much longer.”

    The pair had been tiptoeing for the last twenty minutes, going through side lanes and back alleys in order to keep out of the way. Although the shield protected them from being seen, they could still be heard by the zombies. After a few more seconds of moving slowly they rounded a corner into a huge town square that had a short road to a huge, white-washed building ahead. Senna froze as he heard something snap nearby and turned around extremely slowly. Behind him was a ripped apart carcass, drenched in blood. A dark, semi-clothed figure was stooped over it and it’s clawed hands fiddled around inside the body, looking for juicy organs. It snapped another rib and licked it clean before tossing it aside. Melanie resisted the urge to vomit and backed away slowly. utilated bodies you saw, you could never get used to the sheer putridness of these pitiful creatures' habits. Senna brought his finger up to his lips, signalling for Melanie to be quiet as the two threaded further into the square.

    As soon as they got a proper look at the square Melanie shivered with fear and Senna gasped. Thousands of bodies littered the blood-scarred pavement. Bodies of adults and children, Pokemon and other creatures. Some of the bodies were heaped into dirty piles surrounded by pools of blood. The moon overhead reflected off of the crimson liquid surface, illuminating the faces of these bodies. Some had bloody messes for faces, punctured eyes popping out of torn sockets, bloody stumps for hands and legs, huge gashes all over most of the bodies. Senna retched as he saw grey guts spilling out of a gaping hole in one of the bodies.

    Unlike most of the other places they had seen this place was much more like a massacre. Senna watched in horror as a zombie’s mangled head popped out of a woman’s body, licking it’s lips with relish. This proved too much for Melanie and she screamed. All of the zombie’s ears pricked and turned to where the two invisible humans were standing. They stared at the spot with longing as a larger zombie rose to his feet and walked forward. This creature looked more human-like than most, which scared the humans even more. Hopefully he wasn’t smarter and more cunning like some of the undead. He was missing an ear from one side of his face and he had a scar that stretched from the hole where his ear should be to his mouth. He opened his mouth, revealing rows of sharp teeth, as he advanced.

    He walked up to within a foot from where the pair stood, motionless, barely daring to breed. His nose wrinkled as he took a sharp intake of breath, trying to catch their scent. Bile rose to Melanie’s mouth as she smelt his breath on her face. It smelled of dead animals and dry blood. Senna twirled the pendant around in his hand, muttering silently under his breath. Casting protection spells. The creature’s blood-caked lips curled up into a harrowing smile and he swiped in front of him. His arm rebounded back against his body as the barrier shielded them. It flickered a little and Senna gasped. He clearly wouldn’t be able to hold this up for much longer. Melanie’s hand darted to her Lickilicky’s Pokeball and she squeezed it as soon as it was within her grasp. There was a familiar flash of red light and the bulbous, round licking Pokemon materialised. Unfortunately, the Pokemon was too big and there was a cracking sound as their barrier broke and the trio were revealed to the slowly building masses of very, very hungry zombies.

    “Quick, place your hand on the pendant!” Senna roared as the monsters charged forward. There was a screeching sound as the two were dragged into a glaring white light. Senna felt a searing pain in his arm but he didn’t let go of the pendant or his sister’s hand as they were hurled forward. Senna caught a glimpse of a disfigured lump and tugged his sister forward once more into the harsh light and ear-splitting screaming sound, then all was silent.

    Quiet. Still. Impossible and surreal in every manner. Yet, it was real. Senna lifted his head off of the warmth below and looked around. Where he was looked vaguely familiar. He was lying down on a padded sofa in a living room. He heard the crackling sound of a fire blazing and two children were sitting nearby, hands stretched out soaking in the heat. He let his feet drop from the couch and walked forwards, breathing nervously. He let his hand touch the brown-haired boy’s head, and withdrew his hand. That boy was him and, the girl, the girl was Melanie.

    Oh God, Senna thought. This was the night they had seen the undead creatures.

    There was a huge bang from his right and the wall caved inwards as an unnaturally-strong fist shot through. The mutilated, blood-soaked monster shuffled forward, smiling. The stench was near unbearable as it opened it’s mouth.

    “Senna. We need you. Come on!” the creature shouted.

    “N-no!” Senna moaned backing away as his hand reached for the pendant, but it wasn’t around his neck.

    “Come on Senna. You know what you have to do… Just wake up,” it said slowly, savouring Senna’s anguish.

    “Just wake up…”

    Senna’s eyes snapped open to see Porygon and his sister staring at him. He could see the endless white behind them and knew immediately where they were.

    “Did someone have a nightmare?” Melanie teased, pulling Senna up to his legs.

    “Enough, Melanie. It f-felt so real,” he admitted, wiping sweaty palms on his dirty jeans.

    “What happened? I just remember a bright flash and n—now we’re here.”

    “You teleported yourself and Melanie here,” Porygon said. “A feat I thought would be impossible. This is another dimension after all.”

    “Wait, couldn’t we just teleport into the safe zone. I mean, we wouldn’t be mauled that way. Didn't you teleport me here once before?” Senna mused.

    “Yes, you could. But…. There’s something I have to explain first,” Porygon started. “Before I say anything you must swear that you will not be angry.”

    “I swear…”

    “Senna?”

    “Yeah, I swear too. Carry on,” Senna said after a brief pause.

    “Well… let’s start with me first and foremost. Hundreds of years ago I was brought into existence by one of the most powerful creatures in the universe. Many referred to him as Deoxys or The God of Space."

    Senna snorted at the name.

    "Would it kill you to shut up for once?!" Melanie shouted, most unlike herself. Even Porygon seemed startled for a moment.


    "Well," Porygon initiated the tale once more, "Deoxys saw humanity as a huge threat and decided to create a virus in the hopes of wiping you humans out of existence. You see, Deoxys was cruel and heartless, but very cunning. He created me and commanded that I gained the human’s trust and befriend their leaders and assured me that he only wanted intergalactic beast. How foolish I was for believing my creator. Little did I realise, that I was a virus, and… my sole purpose was to come in contact and wipe you all out,” Porygon sniffed.

    “It soon became apparent to Earth’s residents that I was causing this worldwide catastrophe and they organised many groups, eager to kill me for revenge. So, I fled Earth and returned to Deoxy’s side. I followed him for many years; gaining his trust as together we wiped so many planets from existence, killing countless creatures. I always despised myself, but feared for my own life and did as my master commanded. I hate to admit it, but I was a disgusting coward, unworthy to live at one stage.

    Porygon paused and took a sharp intake of breath as the siblings glared at him furiously.

    “I was at an all-time low when I m-met him,” Porygon choked, voice straining a little.

    “Who did you meet?” Melanie whispered, tears welling in her own eyes.

    “A Pokemon, known as Alakazam. I was travelling along a harsh, barren planet when he came to me.”

    “What do you mean by ‘came’ to you?”

    “Well, it was like a dream. He just appeared before me, and, I suddenly knew everything about him, although I never said anything to him. He was an elderly Pokemon, the last of his kind, but didn’t want his species to die out so he… he gave me powers. Powers to do whatever I wanted. It’s hard to explain. The powers were entrusted on me to recreate his species in his image. Alas, I was a stupid, power-greedy monster and killed the Pokemon and stole his pendant. The very one we are inside right now, as you probably have already guessed... Some times I could channel my energy into the pendant and… I heard voices. It was a long time before I could make out what the voices were saying though. Each night they would hiss out words of advice and warning, commanding me. They thought me ways and I changed over time. I became… good. No longer the power-mad fool. However, I had to stop one existing creature if I were to prove myself…”

    “Who?” Senna croaked.

    “None other than, Deoxys himself.”

    “Why would you still want to kill him if you were so goddamn good?” Senna pressed, voice crescending.

    “Because…” Porygon said, choosing his words carefully. “Because he was a tyrant. He wanted to rule the world, killing countless billions and sparing a few as his personal slaves, forcing them to do his bidding for an eternity, kept alive by his untold powers. There was no way I would be able to kill him by myself. He was merely too powerful. Although, I had an idea. A crazy idea, but it was worth a shot. One day, I told him that I had collected energy from a powerful being and felt, as his loyal servant, it was my duty to give it to him. His tentacle-like tendrils wrapped around me. I can still remember the ice-cold suckers as they wrapped around my body and absorbed my energy greedily. I allowed him to have a very small amount before I forced a huge amount of energy into him. So much infact, that his physical body proved to be limited, despite contrary to popular belief. I noticed a change immediately. His eyes started to vibrate and his sockets stretched back into his head. And… he died.”

    “Is that it? How could he just have died?”

    Porygon frowned. The scene was so horrific that he couldn’t tell the children. Sure, they’ve been through more than anyone should have to go through. But, there was no denying the fact that they were just children and played such an insignificant role in the universe. Porygon remembered the Deoxys’ body being ripped inside out and seeing the blood trickle down his master’s body and the slimy pus drooping from his mushy organs, hanging onto his body by tightly-pulled veins and arteries. Perhaps even Deoxys didn't deserve that faith… No. He was a monster, and… that was a good deed. It was all for the greater good. The greater good…

    “That isn’t of much importance. I must move on with the story. So, afterwards I decided I had to make amends for what I had done. And, the best place to start was Earth, your population was rapidly decreasing but you had a fighting chance. I travelled backwards in time to bring the Pendant here. It was to be given to a special boy some time in the future, but that’s all the voices told me. I was told to give it to a wealthy heiress. I placed it in the palm of the woman’s hands during the night. Pirates came the very next night, in hope of an extremely precious pendant, and stole it. They ventured across many vast oceans for some time.”

    “Wait a second,” Senna said. “That’s where we first went!” Senna exclaimed.

    “Ah yes, it certainly was. From that point onwards, the Pendant faded in and out of fame and glory, popping up every decade or so until it arrived in your mother’s hands, and… then yours. I found it best to remain in the Pendant, rarely emerging before meeting you. The voices told me that I would know when I met this special boy – you.,” Porygon smiled. “But now to the most serious part…” Porygon stalled. “Brace yourself for this.”

    The two teenagers watched, wide-eyed.

    “The voices sort of died away after meeting you. They never returned and assured me many times that the faith of this planet rested on the shoulders of this boy. The voices did however tell me one final thing. There was only one way to redeem this planet and many more, but it wasn't an easy thing to think of; to wipe it out of existence,” Porygon sighed, a lone tear sliding down his face.

    A very unnerving silence filled the air as Porygon felt the shame well up inside of him.

    “What the fuck!” Senna roared. “You saved us so many times, looked after us and now… you were just using us the whole time,” he revved. Senna’s fists raised upwards, defensively. “We won’t go down without a fight!”

    “No!” Porygon shouted. This was the first time he had ever raised his voice around the two young ones. “I don’t condone violence. It was not for my own personal sake, but the sake of your planet. The two of you would be spared and you would get a new start after the wipeout.”

    “Wipeout?”

    “Wipeout!”

    “Yes, I would have to use the power of the Earth to implode inwards on itself, creating a small vortex which would die out in a few thousand years.

    “How come you want to save only us?”

    “I need a male and a female to repopulate the human-“

    “No way!” Melanie screamed. “We’re brothers and sisters. You’re sick! Just let us go back. Let us go back to Earth and we can come up with something. There’s got to be a way to save everyone. There just has to,” Melanie moaned as she slumped to the floor.

    “Yeah,” Senna agreed. “Just give us some more time. We can fight this disease and save humanity… and we could even cure the infected.”

    “You must stop being so delusional, Senna. We must hurry up.”

    “But, but why can’t you just go back in time again? You know, before you spread the disease.”

    “Well, when I travelled back that one time something went wrong. I was drained of my powers. Sure, I’m powerful now but nowhere near as good as I was back then.

    “Couldn’t you just try…” Senna pleaded half-heartedly. "I think we can do it... We have to at least try..."

    “No, Senna,” Porygon sighed. “As a matter of fact I shouldn’t have even waited so long. I was foolish too. I convinced myself to believe there was a chance, but the strain of virus is just too strong and incurable. Deep down I always knew. I should have been more aware. Now, we must hurry. There is so much to get done now.”

    A faint blue light enveloped the three and Porygon started talking again.

    “Are you ready,” Porygon said, voice strained with nerves, “a new universe awaits us. A universe of endless possibilities. A universe free of tyrants. A better, safer universe awaits…”

    But, the pair weren't ready. They couldn't live the only place they had known; the one place everyone they had known, had known. Senna gave the Porygon a deep look.

    "We can't." There was something about his tone of finality, the true bravery he possessed. Porygon looked reproachingly at the pair, but saw Melanie shared the same defiant symptoms.

    "Very well," Porygon drawled, in an almost hurt manner. "I did try to save you, but if you insist. Once I go, there will be no coming back- no second chances. Do you love this planet enough to give your lives to it and its hideous creatures?"

    Senna and Melanie shared a look that spoke a thousand words. Their answer was mutual and they had to try, whether it would make a difference or not. They still had the miraculous Pendant, perhaps it would save them like it had saved others before.
    Last edited by Synthesis; 8th October 2011 at 04:08 PM.

  2. #2
    The Hyacinth Girl Alaskapigeon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pendant [WWC]

    Claimed, cause you've waited so long. :3
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  3. #3
    The Hyacinth Girl Alaskapigeon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pendant [WWC]

    Sorry this took me a few days. It was long and I got busy N STUFF.

    Intro/Plot/Characters: Alright. Let's see, here. Your story starts out with a decent intro. Everything starts out very quiet and peaceful in the first paragraph. We get a brief introduction of the characters, enough to know they're innocent children, and that the world they inhabit is not as it appears. Then, BAM! AH! ZOMBIES! AHHH THEY GOT MOM! This is kind of a cool technique, as all the sudden the reader is violently thrown from one extreme to the next. It definitely catches the attention of the reader and gets them locked into the plot. This kind of thing can even be used later in the story to build suspense. Remember: in any kind of art, contrast is usually good. It makes things stand out and gives them dimension. So yeah.

    Now we've gone from a quaint little cottage to a zombie infested wasteland. These two little kids are trapped in a vault while their mother is ripped to pieces outside. The older sister is comforting the younger brother, who has some kind of magical amulet. So far, not too much Pokemon (other than the Skitty), but that's okay. Sometimes the Pokemon element isn't added until later. Anyways, right after this scene, you jump ahead in time to when the kids are older. Though switching back and forth through time can be confusing, you seem to pull it off well and have a good sense for where to pick up at in the new scene. The transitions seem pretty smooth, so I'll congratulate you there. Also, you managed to make the kids' behavior different at different ages. A nice touch, suitable for this Pokemon tier.

    The story goes on and we find out more about the place the kids are from, the amulet, their past, and the mysterious Porygon who lives inside the amulet. Unfortunately, as the story goes on, you start clumping important events together, to the point where they lose their impact. Also, some things, such as the scene where the children talk about their friend Will, would have more impact if we got more background on this character. As it is, it's just like, *yawn* 'So some guy died or something?' What was this guy like? What did he mean to the kids? Was he there age and just a friend, or a bit older and a sort of pillar of sanity for them? What impact did he have on their lives?

    Another bad thing, the ending seemed very weak. The kids are upset that the Earth is going to be destroyed and they refuse to let the Porygon get his way. Then, they give up and go anyways. There's not a whole lot of discussion about this and it was just really....bland. I felt like it could have been drawn out more and there could have been a lot more emotion to it. More dialogue was needed and I think there should have been more emotion between Porygon and Senna. Porygon as a character was very interesting. He started out evil, then ended up helping the kids, and seemed attached to them, but he's never really explored. Just hinted at. Excuse the pun, but he seems more two-dimensional than three-dimensional. *BADUM tssss* The kids were the same way. They just weren't emotional enough. You put more emphasis on the physical horror in the story (i.e. the zombies) rather than the psychological (a brother and sister living in a universe that's been irrevocably damaged by a crazed Pokemon/God/thing and is falling apart at the seams)

    One last thing, is that your dialogue is at times inconsistent with the character. Porygon's always makes sense; he's very spacey, seems like what would happen if Wikipedia was a living thing. Senna, however, goes back and forth between sounding VERY mature for his age and sounding like a normal teenager. And not mature in the 'I've had to take care of myself since I was 7 or 8 way', mature as in the 'I read the New York Times' way. I almost like the normal, angry-at-the-world, angsty teenager better, but that's just me. You DO need to pick one for your character though.

    Overall, I enjoyed your plot, but certain parts seemed rushed and could've been explored better. I also feel that by lengthening certain scenes and adding dialogue, you could've made your characters more realistic and identifiable.

    Detail: Like in most of your stories, detail is where you shine. Your physical detail is riveting. We get smell, feel, sight, sound, and taste. It's a package deal! We get a fair amount of description on the characters, the atrocities that the zombies commit, and the few Pokemon who play a part in your story. However, for this tier of Pokemon, there's another area of detail you have to pay attention to: emotional detail.

    I touched on this in the section above, but your characters seemed to be most emotionless. Occasionally, you'd have something like this:

    Senna gave a quick flick of his overgrown hair, to keep it out of his eyes, and started walking once more.
    That's very good! The kid's got spunk, he's got attitude! I love it. Unfortunately, areas like that are few and far between. Also, I feel like there should be more emotional....crap. They locked their mother outside of a safe place and heard her get ripped to pieces by the living dead. It seems like they should be scarred or something.

    In addition, I noticed that when talking about eyes, you seem to confuse the words pupil and iris. The pupil is the black part of your eye. It's a hole that lets light into the inner eye. The iris, however, is the colored part of the eye. You mixed them up a couple times, so I thought I would mention that.

    Grammar: Real quick, don't forget to always start a new paragraph when someone else is talking. Your grammar wasn't too bad, but you have a few problems that I see a lot in your writing. Such as:

    In a bright sitting room two children sat on a rug, beside the fireplace.
    Move that comma from where it is, to after 'room'.

    thirteen year old
    You should connect this with hyphens, so that it says 'thirteen-year-old'.

    The creature’s head shot up, looked at the two fleeing humans, before returning to the mother.
    You need an 'and' after 'head shot up'.

    it’s mouth
    Remember 'its', not 'it's'.

    But, we won’t be okay if we don’t hurry!
    No comma there.

    “We survived the night then,” she smiled.
    Quick grammar thingy here: dialogue tags. Dialogue tags are that part of the sentence that comes after the comma when you're writing dialogue. Dialogue tags are used to describe how something is said. Normally, they're words like 'said', 'yelled', 'muttered', etc. 'Smiled' is a commonly misused one, as it is not a dialogue tag, since you can't smile words.

    According to the map Frostbridge town isn’t too far away.
    Comma after 'map'.

    “If that is what you wish Little One,”
    Comma after 'wish'.

    Length: You're just barely over the necessary amount of characters and I felt like there were areas where your story definitely could've been longer....

    Other: This is just a quick little comment, but I'd like to have known more about the zombies. The zombies we're familiar with are slow, hungry for brains, are spread through bites and scratches....Do these zombies work the same or are they different? It'd be cool to hear more about them, and how exactly Deoxys and Porygon made them.

    Outcome: Porygon....not captured.

    While your story was interesting and complex, it definitely lacked what is needed to catch a Demanding Pokemon. I'd like you to go back, fix your grammar, and try to expand on some scenes where you think you could make more of an impact on the reader and clear up some of the more rushed by parts of the story. When you're done, get in contact with me and I'll look this over again. :3
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  4. #4
    ._. Synthesis's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pendant [WWC]

    Finally ready for regrade :D

    @Alaskapigeon

  5. #5
    The Hyacinth Girl Alaskapigeon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pendant [WWC]

    Well, looks like you fixed up everything I told you about. Here's your Porygon, good sir. :>

    Synthesis likes this.
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