That Magikarp (SWC)

Yes, so as I said this is a stupid story

CC: 5362

“Woo, I’m excited for this concert tonight. Nothing is going to stop me from going, not rain, or snow, or some alien invasion,” Irving said, as he looked at his ticket for the Motorhead concert he had been eagerly anticipating.

Irving was just your typical person; he was in his mid-twenties, had a job at a box factory, shaved face, a short haircut, and was a big Motorhead fan, as well as a Pokemon trainer in his spare time. Irving’s major flaw was that he would sometimes have a bit of a hard time controlling himself if he was having fun. He was the kind to get drunk without even realizing it, and tonight would probably be no exception.

Irving was having a good time, too much of a good time in fact. He was drunk, and being drunk at a concert isn’t a good thing, especially when you see things, and think they look like something else.

“Whoa, look, it’s a Magikarp. I’m going to go grab it, and try to catch it,” Irving said to himself, in a drunken stumble as he went over to grab it. Unfortunately for him though, what he believed to be a Magikarp, was in fact just the backside of a woman, wearing orange pants.

“Grrr….pervert!” she screamed, and with a fearsome force she turned around, threw her hand in the air, and connected her hand right across his face. It was a slap so powerful, that it couldn’t help but make his head indent in the ground.
Someone in the audience who saw this couldn’t help but get up, and yell, “critical hit!”

“Wow, that Magikarp packs a powerful punch,” Irving told himself, believing to have actually been hit by a Magikarp.

The rest of the concert came, and went, and Irving couldn’t get the thought of Magikarp out of his head, even though he had just been looking at some woman, and not actually a Magikarp, he still wanted to go out and get one.

---

The following morning Irving woke up, and he just had one thing on his mind, getting a Magikarp.

“Alright, I’m going to get myself a Magikarp now,” Irving said out loud.

Overhearing this, his roommate Wayne couldn’t help but say, “does this have something to do with last night?”

“You bet it does,” Irving replied.

“Well Irving, I was there too, and I have to ask this. You do realize what you grabbed wasn’t a Magikarp, and just some woman from behind right?”

“Ha, don’t try to demotivate me Wayne. I know what I was after last night, and what I’m after now, a Magikarp,” Irving said to Wayne.

Irving made sure to grab himself some coffee, no doubt to try to help with the hangover he probably had, and took off to look for a Magikarp.

“Friggen idiot,” Wayne couldn’t help but say as he watched Irving take off.

---

“Hm, so if I were a Magikarp would I be? Of course, the fish market! It makes perfect sense. No wait it’d be dead, what good would that be? Well, I guess I could always just be typical, and try some body of water,” Irving said as he went to find some body of water.

Some time passed, and Irving found a lake large enough to find a Magikarp he believed.

“What would be the best way to go about trying to get one of these? I don’t have a fishing rod, and I don’t have a bear Pokemon on me that could just catch one with its bare hands.”

Irving found himself in a real pickle, he wanted a Magikarp but he didn’t have an easy way of catching one, there was only one way.

Irving, like a madman, jumped right into the water, and started to search around for a Magikarp.

“Where the hell are the Magikarp at? Is that one?! No, dammit! Get out of here Feebas, you stupid looking Magikarp rip-off!” Irving yelled at a Feebas he saw. If anything this proved how crazy he was, not many people would pass up one of the rarest Pokemon in the world for the sake of a useless fish.

“Oh my god, there one is!” Irving screamed in joy, finding what he was after.

“Now, how do I capture this thing? I don’t have any Pokeballs on me…ahh to hell with it, I’m just going to run over, and grab it.”
Irving started to run at the Magikarp that was still in the water, unfortunately though Irving wasn’t the brightest, and didn’t realize that while the water was still shallow, it wouldn’t take much for the Magikarp to simply swim out of the way in a matter of a second, or two. That’s just what it did, it swam to the side a bit, leading Irving to trip on the ground on the other side of the river, and slam his head right against a tree.

“Son of a…!” Irving yelled as he held his head. Whatever help the coffee may have provided for him before was surely gone now. If anything he was going to feel five times worse.

“Alright Magikarp, that tears it, the gloves are coming off now. Well, I’m not wearing gloves but still! God look at me, I’m talking to a freaking fish that will never reply,” Irving said to himself, as he held his head in shame.

Before Irving had a chance to act he got a text from Wayne, a text that was sent two hours sooner, but he only received now.

Hey, whenever you’re done being an idiot over some fish it’s your job to get dinner tonight.

“Dammit, I don’t have time to get something after this, I have stop back home and get dressed for work. I spent too long trying to catch a Magikarp that I don’t even need……hmm unless….some soy sauce, some ginger, a bit of garlic, and a bed of noodles, and then maybe….” Irving said as he turned his attention back to Magikarp, licked his lips, and laughed a little.