Lamentations of a Female Ranger
Target Pokemon: Burmy
Target Length: 3k - 5k
Actual Length: 7484
AUTHOR NOTE: This is just a small drabble, a skit if you will, that popped into my head randomly. It uses the Ranger personas of a few National Park staff - if anyone depicted here is offended by their portrayal, please PM me and I'll take this down. It's not really very bad though - just some harmless shenanigans. Also, yes, Mindbender technically doesn't report to Leo, but I needed an excuse to fit Dual in. Feel free to comment, also, but I prefer by VM/PM/IM. In thread won't bother me, though.
LAMENTATIONS OF A FEMALE RANGER
"Bloody hell," James breathed appreciatively from over at his desk.
Ranger Ivy rolled her eyes, but didn't look up from her paperwork. James Carter, "Chainy" to most people, was known as the "oldest newbie". When the National Park had re-opened a few months ago, James was one of the very first applicants to be accepted. Sitting on his desk in a small basket was a baby Burmy he had rescued from the Woods. He was extremely tall, so much so that he had brought in a special chair. He swore that he didn't use any product in his brown spiky hair, but Ivy knew better. James had once gone on a rampage when one of the other Rangers swapped out what he called his "shampoo" with bleach - his hair had turned extremely blonde for a fortnight. He was usually fairly quiet, but today was different, and Ivy knew why.
There was a new secretary today. Her name was Madison, and she was the stereotypical "perfect woman". She had long blonde hair, stunning blue eyes, and long, slim legs. She was smoking hot in the Park Staff uniform - a khaki sleeve-less vest and shorts of the same colour. She was wearing high-heeled shoes with straps that wound halfway up her calves. They were against dress code, but strangely no one had decided to let any authorities know.
"Hey Leo, come check this out," James hissed.
Leo was one of the older breed of Rangers - he was from before the Park had temporarily closed. He was widely respected by all the newbie Rangers and he was rumored to be a fairly important person on the mainland. His Pokemon of choice were a Houndoom and a Gardevoir. Neither were to be seen, but this wasn't unusual - Shadow didn't like being inside, and Mindbender was probably off being romanced by James' Gallade. Leo was tall and tan, with a bowl-cut shock of red hair, and was always easy to spot thanks to his signature black coat.
Leo moved silently over to James' desk, and crouched below it so that Madison couldn't see him. Ivy watched out of the corner of her eye, curious what was happening in spite of herself.
"Hey Madison, can you please get me a Mount Deckbi release form?" James asked loudly, making sure his voice carried over the slight murmur of people working.
Madison turned and smiled at James before walking over to a large bookcase. She began reaching up for a binder on the top shelf. As she did so, her vest moved up, revealing some very scanty black underwear, tastefully adorned with lace. That wasn't all, though - just above that was a tattoo of a Beautifly, nestled right in the middle of her lower back.
"Bloody hell," Leo breathed, sounding exactly like James did a minute ago.
Ivy sighed, and returned to her paperwork. She was one of the newer Rangers, but she had passed the applications with flying colours and already had a few successful expeditions under her belt. That's what she was doing right now - noting down all the Pokemon encountered on her runs. They would be used to make sure that the wildlife in the area was balanced. She cut a striking but compact figure, with her longish red hair and thin black clothes.
"The new girl is asking for it," Leo whispered to James, disrupting Ivy's flow of thoughts yet again. "I'm gunna go talk to her."
"Hey, I called dibs!" James retorted hotly.
"Well, seeing as I'm the senior Ranger, I overrule you," Leo said smugly.
As James argued back, and the Burmy began squeaking in protest, Ivy sighed. She loved her job, but sometimes she wished her workmates would act more like adults and less like horny teenagers. Leo and James both heard the sigh. Leo winked at her, but James didn't - he contented himself with a quick smile. Leo was incorrigible, but at least James' fear of Ivy's Crobat Haxbat kept him from getting too friendly.
<It'd be nice if they left those poor women alone for a while,> a distinctly female voice wafted into Ivy's head. She looked over to Buzz's desk. Buzz was a Ranger almost as new as Ivy - he was a protege of Leo's and James', unfortunately in more ways than just Rangering. Ivy was surprised that Leo and James hadn't invited him in on the fun yet. He fit well with the other two - he was about as tall as them and sported the "bro" look - t-shirt, jeans, and beanie covering his hair. His partner Pokemon was a Xatu named River Tam, and it was she who had spoken. Ivy grinned at Tam - the Xatu was known as a bit of a Deadpan Snarker.
Her gaze wandered around the room, eventually alighting on the door that lead to the Park Head's office. The Big Boss was off on vacation, and she had left her second-in-command in charge. He was known only as "Boss-sama", and he had a penchant for Japanese honorifics, so most of the Ranger staff used them when he was around. Ivy was quite attached to her suffix of "chan"- she felt like it emphasized her youth. She also knew that the guys enjoyed being called "sama" or "senpai" by the secretaries and young female trainers.
Ivy shook her head - if she wanted to take the afternoon off, she'd better finish up this paperwork soon. She put her head back down, and began scribbling furiously on the forms.
"Hey Buzz, come check this out," James hissed.
Ivy groaned. There it was. She covered her face with her hands in mock despair. All of the other female Rangers were off on expeditions, and she didn't know how much longer she'd be able to survive in this environment without them.
"Hey Madison, if you don't mind, can you bus over an Oktori release?" James called out, and again Madison smiled before walking over to the filing case. Ivy didn't understand the point of this - the Oktori papers were on the bottom rung. However, when she bent over, Ivy immediately found out why - Madison didn't crouch down, she just bent over using her waist. Oh, and her shirt was loose. Quite loose. All three Rangers gasped in admiration, and the Burmy innocently copied the sound. Madison straightened up and brought the form over, and Leo and Buzz whistled casually while she did so.
"Chainy-san!" a booming voice called out.
James immediately shot out of his chair, standing straight up. He moved quickly into Boss-sama's office. Leo and Buzz watched him closely. The second the door snapped shut, Leo pushed Buzz onto the ground, sending him sprawling, and walked quickly over to Madison's desk, wasting no time whatsoever in chatting her up. Soon Madison's giggles pervaded the office, making it even harder for Ivy to do her work.
Five minutes later, James left the office. It didn't look like he had been chastised, but you never could tell. James took scoldings philosophically. Boss-sama also stuck his head out of the office and yelled for Leo to leave Madison alone. Leo whispered a quick goodbye then scooted back over to his desk.
<I find it hard to believe any work ever gets done around here,> a different voice in Ivy's head remarked, and she turned to see James' Gallade, Dual, standing behind her. He was watching James and Buzz converse in whispers with a raised eyebrow.
"You can talk, where have you been?" Ivy asked. "Out wooing Mindbender?"
<I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about,> Dual replied before walking over to James. He tapped James twice on the shoulder, and James looked up before nodding. He quickly said something to Buzz, and then Dual teleported them both out of the room, temporarily blinding everyone with a blue flash.
"Son of a bitch!" Buzz exclaimed. "The bastard just stuck me with his paperwork!"
Ivy couldn't suppress a laugh. She loved her job.
Re: Lamentations of a Female Ranger
Plot ~ Can’t really comment on this part as it was so short. I will say that what you did have I liked pretty well. It was an enjoying read and I felt diappointed when it ended as I wanted more.
Characters ~ You introduced everyone nicely with some basic descriptions and something about them. I would have liked to see you focus on the build of some of the people though. you talked about the secratary, James, and Leo, but had a passing sentence about Ivy and Buzz. Be sure to describe every character with something, even if they are just pasing through a single scene. One thing you did really well here was attach some character to each person and I enjoyed that.
Not much you could do in this department and what you did I thought was good enough. Something you could have done was describe the Pokemon in the story. Strive to say something about each Pokemon even if it’s just a single sentence.
It would also have been nice to get a clear idea of how the lobby, where everyone was located, looked like as you had a few things but it was too vague.
I’m good in this department as I didn’t spot any errors.
Captured. Not much to say since this was so short and well done. I will say that I enjoyed it and I hope you do more stories/skits like this.