Frozen Heat: Part One (Rated M for gore and language)

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    Default Frozen Heat: Part One (Rated M for gore and language)


    Wednesday, March 14, 5:33 pm

    She’s so pretty, but not as pretty as me. Is she? Well not for long. Mary Ann has been playing ‘cat and mouse’ for a while now. Girls like her shouldn’t play games and lead people on then decide to quit before its over. She sighed and looked at the man beside her. He was handsome. He had this bad boy look about him. He had silky black hair and green eyes. He was muscled and dressed like a biker would. He was currently staring out the window at their next victim. Mary Ann Stone was just like her. Their abilities were almost the same. Except Mary Ann can control electricity. Whenever she got mad or showed any strong emotion, her hair and skin crackled with electricity. People around her always left her alone, they never bothered her and she couldn’t figured out why. She sighed again. Poor Mary Ann, her only friends are me and surfer boy over there.

    She pulled up right next to Mary Ann and rolled down the window. “Hey girl, hop in and I’ll give you a ride.” She popped the locks and Mary Ann climbed into the back seat.

    The teenage girl smiled at them. “Thanks for picking me up, I really appreciate it.”

    She smiled back at Mary Ann then at the man beside her. “No problem.”

    Mary Ann had no idea what was in store for her. But she was about to find out.

    Chapter one

    Sunday, April 1, 1:47 pm

    Another body turned up in a alley between a coffee shop and a clothing store, two weeks after the first body. This one more mutilated than the last. It looked like someone had run a giant cheese grater over the victim’s body.

    How could anybody want do this to someone? Sapphire thought, as she looked around. She felt someone's eyes on her, but she couldn’t pin point where they were.

    There where a lot of people here with their Pokemon. You would think some of them had to go to work. A majority of the people looked like felons. They had this air about them that set every nerve on edge.

    The police were herding people away from the scene. Paramedics and medical examiners were taking pictures of the body and trying to determine when the victim died. And where the murder weapon was.

    Sapphire was careful not alert the police as she walked toward the body. When Sapphire got there, she had to stifle a scream. It looked like half of the victim’s face was gone. There was deep gashes in the body. Half an inch away from each other, with blood pouring out of them. The victim looked like an eighteen-year old girl. She wore a blue knee length skirt, which was now in shreds, a white tank top that was split in half, and white flats. She had long red hair that was in tangles, green eyes, freckles across her nose, and lips that was shaped like a bow, but were now forever twisted in agony. The person who did this must have enjoyed the pain that girl went through. Sapphire tore her eyes off the body and survey the scene.

    There were a few dumpsters lined up against both of the buildings. She searched the ground for any sign of foot prints. There wasn’t any around the body or the dumpsters. As she continued to look for any possible clue, something caught her eye. Sapphire turned her head to look at it, but it was too far away to make out what it was. She crept away from the body and stuck to the shadows of the building. It took her a couple minutes to get to the back of the alley, but when she got there what she saw became more visible.

    It was a foot print. Too small to be a man’s. Sapphire studied the foot print. It looked like it was a high heeled shoe. She couldn’t tell because it messed up a little bit. It definitely wasn’t a teenager’s foot print. If she had guess, Sapphire would place her money on an eight in women’s foot wear. She followed the foot prints, but they cut off going around the building. She sighed. Sapphire pulled out her phone and quickly took a picture of the foot print.

    She turned and stared into the crowd. Hoping the answers would magically find their way to her, instead of having to go out and search for them. But it would be a long time in hell before that happened, just like it would be a long time in Hell before she found a way to rid herself of her ‘gift’.

    Sapphire wished she wasn’t like this all the time, but wishing never got her or her sister anywhere. She was constantly teased about how cold her skin was when she was little. Her skin was always cold, no matter how hot it was outside. Her body’s temperature would drop to keep her cold . But that wasn’t as bad as when her emotions got too strong than she turned into the Ice Queen. Literally. Her sister was born with an ability just like hers. Except her sister’s ability was the opposite of hers. Her sister was like a live volcano when she got mad or showed stronger emotion. Nobody could figure out why they were like that. If her sister was captured again by stupid scientists. Then all Hell would break loose. Nobody will go unscathed.

    By the time Sapphire pulled herself from her thoughts, all most everyone and everything was gone. A few detectives were talking, the cleaning crew washing everything down that had blood on it. And the paramedics were loading the victim into the back of a truck. Still, no one noticed her. Very few people were walking down the sidewalk, so Sapphire decided that it was time to leave.

    “Hey! What are you doing?”

    Please don’t let them be talking to me, Sapphire thought, as she walked away from the crime scene. Thankfully that person wasn’t calling out to her. If her sister was to be the next victim, every living person on God’s green Earth, would see Hell as an amusement park.


    Tuesday, April 17, 5:28 pm

    It was dark and Sapphire couldn’t see a thing, as she walked through the forest that leads to her house. Her and a couple handful of other people lived in the woods along with her. Most of them never paid her any attention because they thought her to be ‘different’. But who hell cared about what they thought? Not her. She hated walking in the forest by herself even if it was daylight. All kinds of creatures lurked in the dark. The Pokemon that lived in this part of the forest liked to tease her. They would play tricks on her then laugh about it. Sapphire never thought that her sister was right when she told her that you’re not supposed to be afraid of the dark but what’s in the dark. She sighed. Then a branch snapped right behind her.

    Sapphire turned around to see if it was the Pokemon trying to trick her, but a completely different image met her eyes. A man was standing a few feet away, staring at her. Sapphire felt her heart pound in her chest. Her palms grew slick and her legs turned to Jell-O. Oh, Shit!. This is the last thing I need. Sapphire thought, then she broke into a run, panting and pumping her arms as she ran through the woods. She can hear the man running right behind her.

    The stranger grabbed a fist full of her hoodie and pulled. Sapphire was jerked back so suddenly that she slammed into her assailant, knocking them both on their asses. Sapphire wasted no time trying to get up. Her assailant latched on to her leg and tripped her. When she hit the ground all the air was forced from her lungs. She heard the man get up and walk toward her. Just as he got got to her, she rolled over and kicked him in the balls. The man doubled over in pain, holding his junk.

    “Oh, you bitch,” he wheezed.

    Sapphire didn’t wait for the man to get up, she ran off in the direction of her house. Sapphire could hear the man still trying to get air in his lungs, and groaning in the distance, but it didn’t sound like he was running after her.

    She broke through the woods, ran up to her house and grabbed the shovel leaning up against the railing where she put it after doing yard work earlier that day. When she turned around, the man still wasn’t out of the woods. Did I kick him to hard? Sapphire thought as she walked toward the line of trees. She stood there for a few minutes debating whether or not she should go back in the woods.

    Just as she decided that she was gonna leave him in there, someone jerked the shovel her hands. She turned around and punched the man in the stomach. He once again bent over, but this time he held his stomach. Sapphire made a move to hit him again, but he grabbed her wrists and squeezed.

    When he was finally able to was finally able to stop panting, he shook the life out of her.

    “What the hell was that? Why did you hit me? And not once, no you hit me TWICE!” he yelled. “Did you know that was assault on a police officer?”

    “Well, I didn’t know you were a police officer. And you grabbed my jacket first so I was just defending myself. Now how may I help you?” Sapphire sucked in a deep breath, and tried to calm herself. It wasn’t easy, but she did it. “Okay, I’m sorry that I hit. But it’s just as much your fault as it is mine, you should have never grabbed me like that. And as a cop, you of all people should know not to sneak up on an innocent bystander.”

    He let go of her and stared at the shovel that had fell out of his grip when she hit him again. Then back at her. “Well, I’ll except that. I’m Detective Gadge Rydstrom. I’ve been following you for the past two weeks. And by the looks of it, you have been conducting a search of your own. Why?”

    “I’m Sapphire O’Donnall. And it’s so kind of you to let me know that you have following me. So, what else have you been doing? Watching me shower? Or maybe you were watching me do yard work earlier,” she said sarcastically. “Never mind. Something of mine went missing and I want to find it.”

    “Okay, Ms. O’Donnall, why didn’t you report this missing thing too the police? And don’t try to lie, it will get you into trouble,” Gadge said, as he gazed at her body. There were multiple scars all over her. They were on her legs, knees, thighs, hands, arms, shoulders, and a couple on her neck and chest.

    “Does it look like I care about getting in trouble? I’ve been getting trouble since I was was able to walk,” She laughed in his face and completely ignored his first question.

    Gadge’s expression was blank as he stared at her. Sapphire studied him while he just stood at her. He was well over six feet tall, and had this bad boy look to him. He looked like a criminal, not a Pig. He had long silky black hair, that just about reached his shoulders, and green eyes. His build was pretty impressive, about a hundred and eighty pounds of pure muscle. Tattoos covered his arms and neck. There were all kinds of weird designs and creatures on his arms. He wore a black t-shirt, that stretched tight across his torso, well worn blue jeans, and black combat boots. Overall, Gadge was a very handsome man, probably one of the few good looking men she’s ever seen.

    Sapphire almost jumped when Gadge’s voice broke through her thoughts. “Is there somewhere we can talk?”

    “I need to water my plants,” Sapphire said, as she walked off. Gadge followed after her. She walked like there was a musical beat that only she could hear. Her hips swayed with every step she took. The tops of her thighs were covered up by a pair of booty shorts and her torso was draped in a see through white shimmery tank top. To Gadge, she dressed like a teenager. But how was to say he wasn’t going to enjoy it while he can.

    Sapphire walked around her home to her green houses. There was about fifteen green houses total. Each and every house had different plants in them. As she walked to the nearest house and opened the door, he thought about how she ignored the question all together. Did she have some kind of relationship with them? He shook his head and looked around the green house. Inside were orange trees. All of the trees were in bloom. It was beautiful. The oranges’ fragrance was a light scent in the air

    “Are these all yours?” Gadge asked, as he looked around again.

    “Yes, they are. I inherited them and the house from my father when he passed away a couple years ago.”

    There was sadness in her eyes as she talked about her father, but she quickly masked it. She probably didn’t want him to see her when she was vulnerable.

    “So, what is it you want to know?”

    “Why didn’t you answer my question?”

    “I didn’t answer, because if I had, you would shut me out of the case completely, that’s why. And don’t tell me that’s not true ‘cause it is.”

    “So you decide to take matters in to your own hands,” Gadge said.

    “Yes.” was the answer that came from her as she started to water her plants.

    “Well, now that I now have a idea of how much pride you really have. It all makes sense. Did you have any kind of relationship with the victims?”

    Sapphire slowly turned around and gave him a look so deadly he should have been in his grave.

    “I am not too proud to ask for anything,” She said in a low, menacing tone. “You don’t know me well enough, actually you don’t know me at all. So, you don’t have the right to be making that kind of assumption. Now, unless you value your boys, enough to want to stay a man, I suggest you keep your mouth shut.”

    Sapphire wasn’t too happy after that. All her answer had a hint of anger in them. When she was finished the green houses, Sapphire invited him in the house for coffee.

    She led them around the house and up the porch steps. Her two story house was beautiful. It had a wrap around porch and a giant bay window to the left of the door. The house was painted cream color with a brown trim. Toward the back of the house was a balcony. Around the front and sides of the house was flower beds and bushes. It looked like Sapphire cared for the house and plants herself.

    Gadge pulled his attention off the house and to what Sapphire was doing. At the moment, she was opening her door and looking to see if anyone was on the other side. When she pulled it open all the way, a Whismur, Snorunt, Lotad and Croagunk came pounding down the hallway and plowed into her.

    Sapphire laughed as the Lotad, and Whismur hung on her legs and torso. The Whismur was about a foot and a half tall and was a light purple color with yellow tipped ears and feet. The Lotad was blue with a green lily pad on its head and was about a foot tall. The Snorunt was the shape of a triangle. Its face was black and it had short legs that didn’t carry it very far.

    The Snorunt had a slightly visible cloak of white around it. And last but not least, the Croagunk had a purplish-blue body with orange bubble cheeks and two white stripes around its stomach. On each hand was an orange finger. And it had black feet. It was two feet and four inches tall. All of the Pokemon were staring at her and smiling at her with excited expressions.

    “Sapphire? Is that you?” a voice called out from deeper in the house.

    She bent over and hugged her Pokemon than stepped inside.

    “Yeah, it’s me. So, Jackie how’d my babies do?”

    A figure appeared down the long hallway. The person was about six feet tall and probably weighed about a hundred and thirty pounds. Gadge could tell that it was a girl by how that person walked. The woman waked like she was an exotic dancer and he was the audience.

    As the woman got closer he could see a pair of twins in her hands. They were giggling and drooling all over the place. She stopped in front of Sapphire and smiled. The woman had skin the color of mocha. Her black hair hung down to her waist. She had wide chocolate colored eyes to match her hair. And her body would put any model to shame. She was slender, but not too slender. She very pretty, like she belonged in Egypt.

    “They were fine. We had to play hide and go seek before this pair of trouble makers had their nap.”

    Sapphire held out her arms and the babies kicked their legs and squealed with delight. Almost making the girl drop them. She took one of the babies and cuddled it to her chest.

    “How’s my baby? Momma missed you two so much,” she said as she lifted the baby to her chest and kissed him.

    The babies were a splitting image of her, they had her hair color, her eyes, her skin color, her high cheekbones. All together they were gorgeous children. Their skin was light tan color. Their hair was a silky white color, and their eyes were a stormy gray.

    “You have gorgeous children,” he said.

    “Thank you. This is my best friend Jackie Morello. Jackie, this is Detective Gadge Rydstrom. Please take your shoes off,” Sapphire said, even as she kicked off her own shoes.

    Sapphire grabbed the other baby boy from Jackie, now she was holding both of the drooling babies, and led them down a hallway that had four doorways and a winding staircase. There were pictures of Sapphire and her friend or Sapphire and her Pokemon hanging on the wall. There was only one picture of Sapphire and a lady with flaming red hair, smiling at the camera.

    The walls themselves were painted a soft coffee color. She had plush black carpet on the floors. Her ceilings were high enough so that tall people didn’t bang their heads on them. Vases sat on tables pushed against the wall. Some of the pictures on the wall looked to be drawn. They were absolutely gorgeous.

    Gadge tore his gaze from his surroundings and paid attention to where Sapphire was taking him. She led through her living room. Which was far bigger than half of Gadge’s apartment. He stared all around him. Each wall was a different color and was accompanied by huge bay windows. The left wall was white with purplish-blue, black, and orange stripes. The wall in front of him had a line down the middle of it. One side was white with black and orange pumpkins on it and a glass aquarium up against the wall. It had a door and an igloo inside of it. The other was blue with green lily pads on it. The right wall was a light purple with yellow flowers painted on it.

    The right wall had a couple rocks and medium sized boulders, trees, flowers, and a bed of grass arranged in front of it. Each wall had somethings in front of it that went with the wall colors. All the Pokemon ran into the living room and stood in front of Gadge. They just stared at him like he didn’t belong in their house.

    Once again Gadge looked around. There were flowers everywhere. Some of the flowers he’s never seen before in his life. They were all kinds of. From black to white, and all in between. The Pokemon obviously didn’t mind them at all, since they were scattered everywhere.

    “Dude, your living is huge,” Gadge said than bent over and held out his hand for the Pokemon. The Pokemon looked at his outstretched hand than jumped on him, all most knocking him on his ass.

    “Yeah, well it’s got to be big enough for me and my family,” was Sapphire's reply.

    Gadge tried to look at her the best that he could, with her Pokemon all over him. “The rest of your house is as big as this?”

    Sapphire laughed at his shocked expression. “Yes it is. Lily, Purple tide, Snow Flower, and Whopps. Come over here and stop jumping on Gadge.”

    One by one Pokemon climbed off of him than walked over to were Sapphire was standing.

    “I take it that’s their names?”

    “Yeah, Lily Pad is the Lotad, Purple Tide is the Croagunk, Snow Flower is the Snorunt, and Whopper is the Whismur. Do you have any Pokemon?” Sapphire asked, as she crouched and set the babies boys on the floor in front of Pokemon. The babies giggled and held out their arms for the Pokemon. The baby on the left tried to grab the Snorunt as it approached.

    The Lotad and Whismur kept their distance from the babies. While the Croagunk waddled toward Sapphire, careful not to get within the baby’s reach, stopped in front of her and gave her a toothy smile.

    “Yeah, I do. I have a Buizel, Buneary, Stunky, Slugma, and Cacnea,” Gadge said, as he unclipped five PokéBalls from his belt. “Instead of talking ‘bout them, I’ll show you.”

    Gadge pressed the middle button on all of the PokéBalls, And one by one his Pokemon started to appear. First came the Buizel than the Buneary, the Stunky, the Slugma, and the Cacnea. His Buizel was about 2 feet tall and was orange with a split tail. The Buneary was about the same height as the Buizel and was brown while the tips of her ears and feet were white. The Stunky was purple with a white streak down it’s back. The Slugma was red and looked like a giant glob of lava with eyeballs. And the Cacnea was maybe a couple inches taller than the Buizel, this Pokemon was like a giant cactus. It was green and had wide set eyes.

    They looked at Gadge than moved away from him to play with Sapphire’s Pokemon. At first all they did was growl at each other than the Whismur through up her hands and walked of to where the Buizel was and gave it a hug. After that, the Pokemon go along, giggling and chasing one another.

    Jackie, not being faraway, picked up one of babies out of the Pokemon’s way, and walked until she stood in front of Gadge. “You wanna hold him?” she asked.

    “Don’t I have to ask their mother to hold them?” Gadge didn’t wait for the girl to answer, he spied Sapphire on the floor and asked her instead. “Sapphire? Do you mind if I hold one of the babies?”

    She looked up at him and smiled, making the dimple under on the left side of her mouth and her right eye, wink at him. “Um... Sure. That one is Benjamin and this one is Matthew.”

    Gadge carefully took the baby from Jackie’s hands and cradled him in his arms. Benjamin reach out and touched Gadge’s face with a small chubby baby hand. He ran the back of his hand over the baby’s smooth cheek.

    Sapphire stood than stared at her son and Gadge standing across from her. Benjamin wasn’t even crying. Nobody could hold Benjamin ‘cause he always cried if she or Jackie wasn’t holding him.

    “Well, Gadge, I guess Benjamin likes you since he isn’t screaming.”

    All of a sudden the Normal Pokemon walked over to where Gadge was standing and hit him on the foot. Gadge was so surprised the Whismur hit him, that he almost dropped Benjamin. The Whismur made a move to hit him again. When Gadge stepped back a couple feet the Pokemon came after him with her fist raised.

    Sapphire grabbed Whopps as she started to run after Gadge. She turned her around in arms, so she could look at her. Gadge’s Pokemon growled at the Whismur, and came over to stand at his feet.

    “Why are you trying to hit Gadge? He didn’t do nothing.”


    “Don’t give me that line of BS. You know better than to hit strangers,” she said. Then laughed when the Pokemon started to whimper.

    Sapphire gave the Whismur a stern look and told her not to hit Gadge again than cuddled it to her chest.

    Gadge sighed. “After all this, I’m really gonna need that coffee.”

    After Sapphire stopped hugging the Whismur, she picked up the baby off the floor. The other three came to stand in front of her and mumble absolutely nothing. The Pokemon were, what looked to be their best effort, trying to stay calm, as they raised their voice to be heard of each other, but each of them decided that it wasn’t worth it and started to push each other. The ones who were being pushed than retaliated by out right shoving the other Pokemon.

    The Lotad used BubbleBeam on the Whismur, the Whismur tried used Pound on the Snorunt, but was to slow and missed. The Snorunt used Ice Shard on the Croagunk, and the Croagunk tried to poke the Lotad and Snorunt with one of its poisonous fingers, but the Lotad saw the Croagunk and dodged while pushing the Snorunt out of the Grinning Croagunk’s way.

    Gadge stared at the Pokemon as they harmed each other. His Pokemon were just as stunned as he was, watching them hit each other with a smile on their face, or smile when one of them fell. A couple of the Pokemon were running from the Croagunk and trying to attack each other. Moans and groans of pain sounded through the room. Then finally the Pokemon stopped what they were doing and panted from exhaustion.

    And there was Sapphire with an angry frown on her face as she stared at them. “What did I tell you about fighting? All you know better than that and you know it. You aren’t supposed to fight with each other. But against others,” she sighed in disgust. “What you guys did was ridiculous. I bet Gadge Pokemon never treated one anther like that.

    Each of the pokemon hung their had in shame, thinking about what they did.

    “C’mon, if I even hear you guys nudging each other, the consequences will be severe.”

    Sapphire turned and walked through a doorway a couple feet from the purple and yellow wall. The Pokemon looked at each other than trailed after her. When Gadge made it to the kitchen, Sapphire had put on a pot of coffee and was currently making a salad, with her Pokemon at her feet, and Matthew sitting in a high chair a few feet away happily eating cherrios. Gadge’s Pokemon ran to join the other Pokemon at Sapphire’s feet.

    She looked beautiful, Gadge thought as he stared at her. She had pure white. It was hard to tell if it was dyed or not. It was currently out of a pony tail and hanging about her shoulders in a silky mass. Her hair was so long that the ends brushed the top of her ass. She was only five one and looked like she only to weigh about a hundred and fifteen pound. Her eyes were a Stormy gray color, framed with long white eye lashes that were hidden her bangs. She had cinnamon colored freckles spread across her cheeks and a couple on her nose. Her nose was slightly upturned, but that only made her cuter. Her cheeks had a natural pink color to them, along with her lips that weren’t too big or too small, but had a slight bow shape to them. She also had three scars on her face. You would never know they were there, unless you were looking for them.

    Two of the scars were under her right eye, where one of her dimples were. The other scar was above her top lip. It was a quarter of an inch long and wide. It was so distinct that you wouldn’t notice it at the first or second glance. Her skin was lightly tanned and looked so smooth Gadge almost walked over there and brushed his hand against her cheek.

    He was still staring at her when she turned from making her salad.

    “Gadge, is there something wrong?” Sapphire asked, as she put down her food and walked until she stood in front of him.

    He shook his head to clear his thoughts. “No, I just let my mind wander. That’s all.”

    “Oh, okay, I was just asking because you had this weird look on your face. So, did you find out who the latest girl was,” she asked, as she turned to check on the coffee.

    “I’m not supposed to tell this, but who’s hear to tell on me?” he muttered.
    “Yeah, we did. She was Mary Ann Stone. She’s been missing for about four weeks. Her parents were worried because she was only supposed to go over to her friend’s house for a sleep over. But when the parents called the friend’s house the next day to ask when Mary Ann was ‘cause she didn’t come, the friend’s parents hadn’t seen at all since gotten out of school. She never made it to the girlfriend’s house. He just snatched her off the road,” He said as he rearranged the baby on his hip.

    “Gadge? I need your help with something. But if I say this, can I trust you not to tell your boss?”

    Before Gadge could say anything, he pager beeped. He sighed and unhooked it from his belt so he see what was wrong.

    “I gotta go, another body just turned up.” with that, Gadge handed her the baby, returned his Pokemon to their balls, and turned around and left Sapphire's house without another word.


    Sapphire walked to the door and waited until she couldn’t see the detective any more, than debated whether she should follow him or wait and see if he would contact her. She went with follow him. Sapphire ran down the hallway, careful not to drop Benjamin who was giggling like this was the best ride in his life, and back into the living room where she hollered for Jackie.

    “Jackie? I’m going out for a few minutes. Do you mind staying a little while longer?”

    Jackie walked out of the kitchen with Matthew in one arm and Sapphire’s forgotten bowl of salad. “No, I don’t mind staying. These babies are just the precious things in the world. I would do anything for them. Now go do what you gotta do. I’ll take care of them. Won’t I?” Jackie said to the baby in her arms.

    Sapphire kissed Benjamin and set him in front of his toys. Then she walked over to where Jackie was standing and kissed Matthew on the head. She gave her children on last look than started for the door.

    On her way out she grabbed a purse, all four Pokemon, and her car keys. She had no idea who it was this time, but she hoped that it wasn’t her sister.

    Six weeks ago when the girls started to go missing, this guy had called her, and said that if she didn’t stop trying to find her sister than he was going to kill her. Sapphire didn’t bother to tell the police that her sister was amongst the missing. She been trying to find clues at the crime scenes, but the foot prints were the only thing she could find. He didn’t rape them than kill them, he just killed them. Well, that was if it was a man.

    Each of the turned up bodies had never died the same. the first one was skinned than left to bleed out, the second one looked like he took a giant cheese grater to her. And only the Lord know what happened to the third victim.

    Sapphire stopped couple of blocks away from the crime scene. Like the last time a victim showed up there was a whole bunch of people.

    How do people just stand around gasping and gossiping about somebody they don’t know. Sapphire shook her head and reached into the back seat to grab a black wig, she than used a couple of pins to put up her hair. She added lip gloss, eye shadow and blush. Sapphire shimmed out of her tank top and shorts than traded it for a white buttoned down blouse and a gauzy skirt. To finish off her disguise, she put on sunglasses. Sapphire grabbed her pokéballs, a giant purse, and made sure the first couple of buttons on her shirt were undone than climbed out the car. Now she was ready to roll.


    Even with her disguise on, he could still tell it was her. When he saw the detective walk out of her house, he was ready to kill him, but he didn’t. He wanted to see the look on the detective’s face when he saw the next body.

    He didn’t really want Sapphire's sister Garnet, he wanted Sapphire. She was everything her sister wasn’t. Beautiful, sweet, innocent, lovely. Her petite body would be a perfect fit for his. He was going to use her sister as bargaining chip. One for the other.

    He sighed. As she crossed the street, he was petting his Growlithe wishing it were her instead of the Pokemon. Suddenly a thought came to mind. He was gonna to help Sapphire find her sister. He sighed. Everything came with a price. This was gonna be one hell of a ride.

    Gadge couldn’t believe his eyes. The latest victim was lying spread eagle, in another alley, butt naked with all her organs were right next to her spread out on a blanket, like someone had purposely removed them and had no intention of putting them back in.

    This girl was about the same age as the last one. The victim had shoulder length black hair. Her stunning green eyes were wide open in shock as if she couldn’t comprehend what happened to her. She had a button nose, slightly wide pink lips, and high cheek bones. She was about twenty years old. Still had her whole life ahead of her.

    Again like last week, there was a giant crowd of people with all different kinds of Pokemon. They looked neglected. A couple Bulbasaur, Pikachu, Breloom, and Swablu. Some of the Pokemon in the crowd looked they would tear your head off if you weren’t careful. But all of the owners didn’t seem to be paying attention to them at all. They were too interested in who the next victim was.

    This girl’s parents were probably wondering where their daughter
    was, and these people didn’t give a rats ass if they did. They only cared about them selves. Gadge looked at the people with disgust. He hated people like that, but hey, the Lord had a special place in Hell for people who refuse love and care for anyone but themselves.

    Gadge also hated breaking the news to the victims parents. They always denied it at first, but when the news actually kicked in, they cried and asked him to find who ever did this to their baby. And like always, he promised he would.

    Once again Gadge looked around the crime scene, but this time he spied a guy off in the distance staring at the body with a look of a job well done on his face. Could this guy be the killer? All of a sudden the man looked across the street and landed on this lady that happened to be walking this way.

    She looked familiar like he’d seen her before but didn’t know were. She had midnight black hair and looked like Sapphire, but this girl wore make-up, a gauzy skirt and button up blouse where a couple of buttons were undone at the top to show a little hint of cleavage. She wore sunglasses on her face so no one could see her eyes. She walked like there was a beat that only she could hear.

    Gadge looked at the man and found him staring at the lady with adoration. Did he know the lady? Is that why he was staring at her like that. Well Gadge was gonna find out.


    Sapphire almost panicked when Gadge stared walking toward her. To avoid looking at him, she stepped on the sidewalk and looked around and found herself staring into a handsome man’s sky blue eyes. He was what looked to be six-foot-seven with a athletic build. He had shaggy blonde hair that hadn’t been cut in what she probably guess was a couple of months. His lips were pressed in a amused smile that was directed at her. Like he knew she wasn’t who she was dressed up as. His pants looked like they were worn and so did his boots. But he wore no shirt in the 85 degree weather. There were visible scars across his chest and arms. The man looked like he belonged out on the beach surfing.

    Sapphire was still looking at the man across the street when Gadge had finally reached her. She stared at him than flashed him a dazzling smile and tried to walk past him.

    Gadge stuck out his arm to stop the woman from passing.

    “Have we met before?”

    The woman gave him a panicked look and shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

    Gadge continued to not let her pass. Finally he lowered her arm. “I do believe we have. Do you know woman named Sapphire O'Donnall?”

    The woman just stared at him. She opened her closed her mouth. She shook her head no than walked off without looking back. Gadge stared at her backside. She walked just like Sapphire did. Like there was a musical beat that only she could hear. Gadge didn’t have enough evidence to prove that she was Sapphire in disguise, so he let it slid and walked back over to the crime scene.

    When he made there, he saw that there was more people gathering around. He sighed. When do they give it a break? He searched the crowd for the Sapphire look alike, but didn’t find her.


    Sapphire walked away from Gadge as fast as she can without making it look like she was guilty. But than again he probably already know who she was. As she got closer to the crime scene, she could hear the people talking, but wasn’t able to make out the words. Sapphire stood next to this man. He turned his to look at her. That was when she realized that he was the man from across the street. And there was the Growlithe at his feet. The Pokemon stared than inclined his head and looked away. He smiled at her and held out his.

    “I’m Chase Cavanaugh. May I ask what your name is?”

    Sapphire smiled back, and decided to give him her real name. “I’m Sapphire O'Donnall. Nice to meet you. Do you know who the latest victim is?”

    He shook his head and looked away. “I’m sorry to say that it’s Mrs. Jamieson’s daughter Teresa.”

    “Please tell me that you’re not talking about the Mrs. Jamieson that runs the bakery on 119th?”

    Chase focused his attention on her again. “I didn’t want to believe it either. I wish it wasn’t her. She was such a sweet girl. She didn’t have any enemies. Well, none that we know of.”

    Sapphire couldn’t believe it. Teresa did nothing to anybody. She always had a smile on her face. Everybody thought of her like a sister that you could always go to. She was nineteen years old, and was very beautiful. Teresa had stunning green eyes and long silky black hair. She was taller than Sapphire, but she wasn’t too thin nor too chunky.

    “I’m gonna hunt down the person how did this,” She mumbled.

    Chase shot her a confused look. “You’re gonna what?”

    Sapphire's smile didn’t quite meet her eyes. “Never mind. I have to go, but it was nice meeting you.”

    Chase latched onto her arm before she could leave. “Can I at least see you again?”

    Sapphire studied Chase. He was a good looking guy. But he seemed to be a jigsaw puzzle. You would have to really break down the barriers before you meet the real person on the inside. Chase looked like he harbored a lot of secrets behind his barriers.

    Sapphire pulled her arm out of his grip and reached for her PokéBalls in her purse. “I’m don’t know about that. I have a lot of things I need to get done.”

    Chase’s lips peeled back from his teeth in a snarl. “You know, it’s so easy to say no, but when it comes to saying yes, nobody has the balls to do it.”

    Sapphire's eyes narrowed before she pressed the circle in the center of one of the PokéBalls. A bright light flashed than Purple Tide appeared. The Pokemon looked at then at Chase, preparing for an attack. “I never said no, now did I? And if you ever talk to me like that again, you will be in the hospital getting those balls we were just talking about, surgically removed from your throat. Good bye, Mr. Cavanaugh. C’mon Purple Tide.”

    Sapphire turned away from Chase. When her Pokemon didn’t immediately follow her, she looked over her shoulder to see what kept her. The site that might her eyes was a grinning Croagunk standing over the man’s Houndour that was shaking violently on the ground in front of Chase. She sighed and turned completely around so she could call out to her Pokemon.

    “Purple Tide! Please don’t tell me you touched that Pokemon with your toxic fingers?” Sapphire screeched. By the look on the Croagunk’s face, she could tell that the Pokemon did. She sighed and called her over so they could leave. Chase was glaring daggers at her while he tended to his Pokemon.

    Purple Tide laughed in Chase’s face. “Shouldn’t... Mess with... The big dogs.”

    Chase’s Growlithe snarled and tried to stand up, but wasn’t having much luck with the poison running through its veins.

    Croagunk laughed again and walked away. Sapphire released the rest of her Pokemon from their balls and tried not too gain much attention as she crept toward the body. It was another girl. She was spread eagle and all of her organs were lying next to her in a bloody heap on a blanket. The body was again in another alley. There was blood everywhere. On the girl, the ground, the alley walls. The girl looked like she had seen the devil Himself before she died. She looked like she might have been pretty, but now her face was a mask of agony.

    She looked for foot prints. And again found them at the back of the alley. When she made there, Sapphire pulled out her phone and compared the foot prints. A perfect match. Both were high heeled shoes and looked to be about the same size. She smiled to herself and took a picture of the new foot prints. She would have to call in a favor to one of her friends to find out what the shoe size was.

    Sapphire sighed, and closed her phone. All of the girls had to have something in common. Each of the victims were between the ages of eighteen and twenty-one. Teresa and Mary Ann were heirs to their families companies. She wasn’t sure about the first victim though. Sapphire pondered her thoughts as she walked away from the body. Who would want to kill these girls, and why?

    So many questions, and so little answers. Things just don’t make sense anymore, She thought, making her through the crowd, and down the street toward her car. Her Pokemon chattered amongst themselves, but it wasn’t like they were speaking english. Time flew by as Sapphire drove home.

    The murders just don’t make sense. Why kill off the popular girls in school? All three of the girls went to a different school and each of them were popular, and each had impressive grades. The murders were too good to be a jealous classmate.

    Sapphire pulled herself from her thoughts and concentrated on the road. She turned left and drove down the gravel road that lead to her house. When her home came into site, she cut off her head lights and parked her car off to the left side of the house where the rest cars were.

    She climbed out of her Avalanche and walked around to the other side of the car and opened the door for her Pokemon. They hopped out and stood in front of her as she shut the door. When she made a jester for them to walk the Whismur held out its arms in her direction.

    Sapphire picked up her Pokemon and headed for the door to her house. As she climbed the steps her Pokemon started to mumble incoherently again. She turned around just in time to see the other three Pokemon hopping up the steps to her front porch. Sapphire laughed and that earned her a few glares. She focused her attention back on the front door, before she could open it, Jackie stepped on to the porch.

    Jackie nearly jumped out of her skin. “Who the hell are you? And what are you doing at this address?”

    Sapphire ducked when Jackie threw a punch. “It’s me Sapphire. Can’t you tell?”

    “No,” Jackie said, and tried to threw another punch.

    Sapphire grabbed her wrist and squeezed. Jackie yelped. “Hey, Jackie, it’s me, Sapphire? Don’t hit me okay? I still must be wearing the black wig I put on when I followed Gadge to the latest crime scene.”

    Sapphire kept a firm hold on Jackie’s wrist and reached up and pulled off the wig, the sunglasses were next to go. She than let go of Jackie’s wrist to pull the pins out of her long white hair. It tumbled down her back when she shook her head.

    Sapphire smiled. “Better now?”

    Jackie visibly sighed. “I thought you some crazy chick.”

    Sapphire laughed and pulled Jackie into the house and off the porch. Her Pokemon ran into the house laughing and racing to see who could make it to the living room first. “

    “Hey! You vermin! Where were you when Jackie was attacking me?” Sapphire asked the Pokemon.

    They laughed at her and continued to run through the house. Sighing in disgust and closed the door. As soon as she walked away from, somebody knocked on it. She turned and open it.

    “How can I...?” the words died on her lips as she stared at the man on her front porch.


    The man chuckled and held out his hand. “No, I’m his twin brother Mark Rydstrom,”

    “I’m Sapphire O’Donnall,” she said shaking his hand, “And this my friend Jackie Morello, it’s nice to meet you.”

    Mark gave her a once over, lingering a little too long in some places. “It’s nice to meet you too, Ms. O’Donnall.”

    Sapphire studied Mark. He was the same height as Gadge. He had the same hair color, the same eye color, the same skin color, the same tattoos. Everything about him made her think that the man really was Gadge and that he was just fooling with her. But one little detail was what made them different. Gadge’s voice was deeper than the man standing before her.

    “Well, I guess I should let you in,” Sapphire said, as she moved out of the way.

    Mark stepped off the front porch and into her space. His green eyes were darker than they had been a few minutes ago. He didn’t even try to hide the was lust that was in his gaze as he stared at her. Mark leaned down and brushed his lips over hers. When she gasped at the bold move, he took that as a invitation and slipped his tongue into the mouth. Mark angled her head a little bit and tried to clean her tonsils. He tasted like coffee. His scent surrounded her as he licked her lips and pulled back. Mark smiled and held out hand in the direction of her living room.

    “Lead the way.”

    Sapphire closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath. When she opened her them, Mark was staring at her with a smug smile on his face. That made her mad. Where did he off thinking that it was okay for him to random women that he doesn’t even know? Sapphire felt her skin icing over and her blood chill. Her hair started to freeze and stand on end.

    “Sapphire? Is everything alright? Your skin is crystallized and so is your hair,” Mark grabbed her arm, then hissed. “Oh, shit. You’re like a giant ice cube. What the hell is going on?”

    When Sapphire realized what Mark was saying, she tried to calm her blazing emotions. How could she let this happened? No one knew that with strong emotions the icy part of her came out. She mentally pushed all thoughts from her mind than continued calm herself. It took a few minutes, but she managed. Sapphire blinked her eyes a couple times and focused on Mark. He was staring at her with a concerned look on his face.

    “What the hell just happened?”

    “The living room’s this way,” Sapphire turned and walked down the hallway, not even waiting to see if Mark followed.

    The Pokemon were playing with the each other, laughing and giggling. The babies were sitting on Jackie’s lap watching the Pokemon. When they saw her, they squealed and kicked their legs. Sapphire walked over to where Jackie was and picked up her babies.

    “Did you guys have fun while mommy was gone?”

    Benjamin grabbed her face with chunky hands and smiled at her, then he leaned over and gave her a smacking kiss. Sapphire laughed and kissed Benjamin back. Matthew turned her face toward him. When he had her attention, he smiled and said his first word.


    Sapphire stared at Matthew in shock. “Jackie, did you hear that? He called me momma.”

    “Yeah, I heard. Matthew,” she said in a singy song way. “Can you say ‘Aunt Jackie’?”

    Matthew stared at Jackie with a confused look on his face. Sapphire laughed and kissed Matthew.

    “You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to. Okay?”

    Matthew smiled and laid his head on her shoulder. Snow Flower stopped playing with the other Pokemon and walked until she stood in front of Mark. She cocked her head and stared up at him. She stepped back than a white cloud formed around her and the temperature in the room dropped. The cloud that Snow Flower made, continued to grow. It enveloped the Snorunt and the room’s temperature dropped again.

    When the cloud stopped forming, Snorunt stepped out of it and sucked in air until her chest puffed up. She than released all the air from her lungs in the direction of the white cloud. The cloud absorbed the air and rushed toward Mark. When it hit him it was like watching a twister. It swirled around Mark faster and faster.

    Snorunt just stood and watched as the cloud continued to surround Mark. Sapphire was so shocked that she didn’t move until the cloud dissipated. Mark was just about an icicle. His hair was frozen, his clothes were frozen. He skin was pasty white and he shivering violently.

    Sapphire handed Jackie the babies and hurried over to Mark. He stared at her and tried to speak.

    “No. Don’t say anything. Okay? This is all my fault. I’m so sorry,” Sapphire said, as she tried to get him back down the hallway toward the stairs off to the far left side. Mark’s clothes were stiff and he had a hard time walking and the matter didn’t get any better when she tried ti hall him up the stairs. It took her a couple minutes of cursing and swearing, but she made it. Sapphire just about dragged him down the hallway toward the bathroom. When they made it there, she set him on the toilet.

    She made sure that he didn’t fall off than turned and cranked the shower handle to turn it on. Steam quickly rose from within the shower. She closed the bathroom door and started to strip Mark. He tried to help her as best as he could, but he was half frozen, so his help didn’t do anything to aid her.

    Sapphire struggled to get him in the shower stall. He had to at least weigh about a solid 250. The man was all muscle. When she had him in the shower, she opened the bathroom door, walked down the hallway, down the stairs, and back into the living room. Sapphire searched the room until she found her Snorunt, how was huddled in a corner staring at her with fear clouding her eyes.

    “C’mere,” was all Sapphire said.

    The Snorunt slowly walked toward he. Afraid of the punishment it will receive. A couple times the Snorunt turned around and looked at the other Pokemon for help. They shook their head and shrugged their shoulders. When the Snorunt stopped to stand in front of her, Sapphire crouch and stared at her.

    “Why did you attack Mark?” The question was said in a low tone.

    “Was... Accident,” Snow Flower said.

    Sapphire could feel the cloud seep through her pours and cloud around her. “That was not no accident. Now that's try that again. Why. Did. You. Attack. Mark?”

    Before Snorunt could say anything more, Jackie put a hand on her shoulder.

    “Mark needs to be taking care of. Okay?”

    Sapphire stood and walked down the hallway toward the stairs. When she made it back to the bathroom, Mark had stopped shivering. Sapphire stripped down to her bra and panties and climbed in to the tub with Mark. He looked up at her when she stepped in his line of vision. Despite being half frozen, lust immediately clouded his gaze. He tried to stand up, but sapphire put her hands on his shoulders and kept him in place.

    “I am so sorry for what Snow Flower did to you.”

    Mark’s gaze roamed over her body before he answered. “It wasn’t your fault.”

    “Yeah, it...” Sapphire trailed off when Mark ran his hands up the length of her legs.

    She grabbed his wrists and shook her head. “None of that, Mark,.”

    When he made a play to touch her again, she side stepped him. “No, Mark. I just met you twenty minutes ago. I’m not that type of girl.”

    Sapphire moved around Mark, so that she stood behind him. She sat down and leaned against the shower wall, then she stretched her legs out in front of her and pulled Mark until he leaned against her chest.

    He sighed and rubbed her legs that were on either side of him. She let it go this time, and relaxed while the steaming water rained down on her and Mark. They stayed like that for about an hour to a hour and a half. When the water started to grow cold she reached up and shut it off.

    Sapphire made a move to get out, but Mark grabbed her legs and held her in place.

    ”I just want you to know how much I appreciate your taking care of me.”

    “Anytime,” Sapphire said and stepped out of the shower stall.

    Sapphire unhooked her bra and let it fall to the floor. The lacy panties were next to go. As she reached for a towel Mark hissed behind her.


    Sapphire gasped and quickly wrapped the towel around her body.

    “Pervert.” she said, and opened the bathroom door than walked down the hallway to her room. Mark still stood in the bathroom when she emerged from her room wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

    Mark looked as almost as good as new. He skin had some what returned to its natural color. He didn’t look sick. Just ... Horny

    Mark was avery handsome man. When you really looked at Mark you could tell that He wasn’t Gadge. There were so many thing that made it so you could tell who was who. Mark was about an inch shorter than Gadge. Mark had more tattoos. And he looked like a playa.

    Sapphire let her gaze roam down his body, but that quickly stopped when she noticed that his towel was tented. The man was huge. You didn’t have to see it out of his pants to know that he could satisfy any woman he took to his bed.

    Mark grinned at her when she returned her gaze to his face. “Like what you see?”

    Sapphire grinned back. “I’ve seen bigger.”

    Mark laughed and reached for his soaked pants. “Damn, Sapphire that’s harsh.”

    Before Sapphire could answer, someone gasped behind her. “Oh, dear Lord.”

    Sapphire turned around to see Jackie standing behind her ogling Mark as he stood there with a tented towel.

    “How can I help you?” Mark said as he winked at her.

    Jackie shook her head and tore her eyes off Mark. “The babies are asleep and your Pokemon are headed in that direction too.”

    Sapphire grinned at her. “What did Snow Flower do after I came back up stairs?”

    “She mumbled something about being tired and has been hiding in her igloo,” Jackie frowned. “Poor thing. She seemed so upset.”

    Sapphire snorted and headed for the stairs. “She should be. She nearly froze Mark for no reason.”

    “Hey, what about me?”

    Sapphire stopped and looked at Mark. “What about you?”

    He held up his sopping clothes. “Got something I could wear?”


    Sapphire sat down on her couch and relaxed. Her Pokemon were staring at her with curios expressions. Benjamin and Matthew were asleep upstairs. Those babies and the Pokemon were her life. She would do anything for them. She promised to look after the Pokemon.

    Before her father died three years ago, he asked her to take care of the four Pokemon. They were just babies when her father pasted away. She never thought that she’d see the day when she had to say goodbye to her father. Her father and mother were everything to her. And now her mother was left a widow.

    Sapphire felt the tears streaming down her face. They were hot and burned her cheeks. She used the back of her hands to wipe them away, but that did no good, they just kept coming. Her Pokemon gathered around the couch and tried to soothe her.

    “Sapphire? It’s... okay. Please don’t... cry.” Croagunk said, rubbing her hands up and down Sapphire’s arms.

    The Pokemon climbed on the couch to sit next her. They laid their heads on her and let her cry her eyes out. They murmured comforting words. they tried to calm her. They did all they could think of to try to get her to stop crying. Their attempts only made her cry harder.


    Sapphire ended up crying herself to sleep on the couch. Lily Pad, Purple Tide, Snow Flower, and Whopps were laying on different parts of her body. Whoops was on her chest. Snow Flower was in the crook of her right arm. Purple Tide was snuggled up against her left side. Her hands were tucked behind her, so she wouldn’t accidentally touch her. And Lily Pad was sitting on her feet, trying not to tip over as she slept.

    Sapphire sat up slowly, careful not jostle the sleeping Pokemon. She climbed off the couch and wondered around the house. Her house was huge. She had a library in her home! There was five bedrooms and two bathrooms. The kitchen was custom made. There was granite counters. Oak cupboards. Tile floors. A convection oven and gas stove. A walk-in pantry and an island.

    She loved the house with all her heart, but sometimes it too big ever for her. She thought it was a little extreme that her father put in a winding staircase. They would take turns sliding down the rail. Three of the bedrooms were up stairs. Hers, the babies, and the master bedroom she turned into a library.

    She really didn’t need this big house. Maybe I’ll find a smaller one, Sapphire thought, as she climbed the stairs to the second floor. The walls were painted a soft cream color. There were two doors to the left of the hallway. the bathroom and the Library were one the other side. Sapphire walked over to the giant bay window at the end of the hallway. She could see everything from that window.

    Her neighbors house’s were smaller than hers. A majority of the woods surrounded her and not theirs. When she first moved in they came over and said hi. They stopped coming over ‘cause Sapphire let loose the Ice Queen half of her. One of them told that she looked like a striper. And stripers had no right to be a mother. ‘Cause all they were good for was lying on their back for men who had money. Sapphire had grabbed the lady by the neck and almost squeezed the life out of her.

    So, needless to say, none of the ladies hung out with her ‘cause she was a freak. But did they ever stop to think that maybe it wasn’t her choice to be like this? No they did not. They only cared about themselves, and what people in life could offer them.

    Sapphire walked away from the window and toward her babies’ room. They were sound asleep still. They redid the room a couple months ago. Benjamin and Matthew were ecstatic about it. They helped pick the color that she would use to paint the room. What stuffed animals they should put in it. If a rocking chair would look good in the room. Sapphire had never seen them so full of energy. They were so happy.

    The room was a light blue color. Their bed was in the far right corner, a treasure chest was a few feet away from the bed. A rocking chair in the left corner. There was also a changing table and a regular table in the room. The toys were scattered on and around the table. And stuffed animals were everywhere. In their bed , lining the wall, on the the chest, the window sill, and thrown across the floor.

    Sapphire laughed softly and walked over to where her children were sleeping. They looked like angels. My darling babies, she thought. Sapphire strode out of the room and closed the door softly behind her. She got as far as the top of the stairs, before her front door opened, and a man stepped in her house. He wore no mask, which was stupid ‘cause she could tell who broke into her home. The man was none other than Chase Cavanaugh. He wore all black and was currently locking the front door back up. Sapphire backed away from the stairs.

    When she was sure he see her, she turned and walked to her room. She quietly maneuvered around her bed ‘till she stood in front of her night stand. Sapphire opened it and pulled out her .38. She had never had to use it, but now it time to put it to work. Sapphire crept out of her room, down the hallway, and down the stairs. Chase wasn’t in foyer or the hallway. Which means he was probably in the living room or the kitchen.

    Her Pokemon were not on the couch, when she stepped foot in the living room. Sapphire kept to the shadows as she search the room. There was no sign of where the Pokemon might be. Sapphire mentally shoved all thoughts from her mind. Chase walked out of her kitchen and unhooked three PokeBalls from his belt. A bright light flash as Chase release his Pokemon from their confinement. A Growlithe, Swablu, and Shroomish appeared when the blinding light faded. They turned and looked at Chase, awaiting their orders.

    “Black Bone, search the upstairs. White Wing, I want you to search outside the house. And Green Fungus, you search the foyer, hallway, and living room.”

    Sapphire waited until the Pokemon left then made her move. She watched as Chase turned in a full circle, taking everything in. She slowly moved around the room until she was behind him. He sighed and whirled around.

    “All you had to do was say yes. But no, you had to threaten me. I could still help you. Time is ticking away.” Chase tsked at her as he drew near.

    “I said no, ‘cause I really did have things more important than hanging out with a man I just met. And what do you mean ‘time is ticking away’?” Sapphire asked, as she stepped out the shadows.

    “Important things like finding your sister?” he said as he stared at her gun, completely ignoring her question.

    Sapphire reached behind her back and stuck the gun in the waist band of her jeans.

    “What do you know of my sister?” she asked.

    Chase laughed again. “More than you, obviously.”

    Sapphire sucked in a breath and focused on channeling all the cold from her body to her hands. It wasn’t hard to do since she mastered it years ago. She made sure Case couldn’t see what she was doing, and prepared to attack.

    “If you hurt my sister...”

    Chase cocked his head and stared at her. “Your sister is not gonna get hurt. The real person you should worry about is...”

    Before he could finish his sentence, Croagunk popped up out of nowhere and Sucker Punched Chase in the back of his head. He fell to his knees and clutched his skull.

    Croagunk didn’t wait for him to get up, she held out her hands palms up, then closed her eyes and started to concentrated. After a couple of seconds, purple gunk took form above her her hands. When the purple globs reached the size of a grapefruit, she opened her eyes and hurled the poisonous globs at Chase. They hit him in the head. and soaked into his skin.

    He writhed on the floor and vomited. Just as Croagunk started to prepare another attack, Chase’s Pokemon stormed into the room. They took one look at Chase on the floor and Croagunk standing few feet from him, and attacked. Croagunk stopped what she was doing and dodged the Growlithe, when it came at her cloaked in fire.

    Sapphire stared in shock as her Pokemon defended her against Chase’s Pokemon. Croagunk stood in front of the Growlithe as it snarled at her. Purple Tide just smiled. She held up one of her hands and made a come get me sign as she blew a raspberry.

    The Growlithe snarled and tried to charge Croagunk again. Purple Tide smile was smug as she side stepped the Pokemon once more. The Croagunk didn’t give the Growlithe time to prepare another attack, she ran toward it. Half way there she disappeared and reappeared in front of the Growlithe. Purple Tide tackled him and used Poison Jab while it was down.

    When the Pokemon didn’t get up, Croagunk stood and faced the other Pokemon with a battle hungry smile on her face. Sapphire just couldn’t comprehend what was going on. All of her Pokemon were now the living room with her and a still vomiting Chase. Snow flower looked at Chase’s Pokemon then her and back again. She smiled and started to whip up a snow storm.

    Ice formed on the ceiling and walls as the room’s temperature dropped. Chase’s Pokemon stared at the ice covered walls with worried expressions. Snorunt looked at the ceiling and focused her attention on the ice. They started to shake and break off the in shards. When generous amount was floating in front of Snow Flower, she smiled evilly and directed the shards at the Swablu.

    They hit the Pokemon at a surprising speed. The Ice Shards pummeled the Swablu 'til it collapsed in a heap on the floor. Shudders racked tis small form.

    The Growlithe took one look at the knocked out Pokemon and opened its mouth and let loose a stream of fire. Snorunt managed to move out of the way and counter attack. Snow Flower charged the Pokemon and Head butted it.

    The Growlithe went soaring through the air and slammed into the wall. It slid to the floor unconscious. The Snorunt smiled in satisfaction. But she didn’t have time to move when the enraged Shroomish attacked.

    The Pokemon inhaled and exhaled, releasing Poison Powder from its pores. The Shroomish blew the powder in Snow Flower’s direction. The powder landed on her and she let loose a ear piercing scream. The Pokemon smiled evilly as the powder sunk into Snorunt’s pores. It left Snow Flower shaking and whimpering as it flowed through her veins.

    The Whismur and Lotad tagged teamed the Shroomish. Together they snuck up on the unguarded Pokemon and attacked. Lily Pad pulsed pink before she head butted the Pokemon. Whopps waited ‘til it was on the ground then inhaled, opened tis mouth and exhaled.

    Whismur’s roar sounded through out the whole house. One of the windows in the living room shattered. The Shroomish screamed and tried to cover its ears.

    Long after Whopps had stopped, Sapphire’s were still ringing. She looked all around her, surveying the damage. A window was shattered to bits. The furniture was all over the place. The ice was starting to melt, so now water was dripping everywhere. One of her Pokemon fainted and all of Chase’s were knocked out. The Whismur, Croagunk and Lotad were gathered around Snorunt trying to wake her up, but were having no luck.

    Chase was still on the floor vomiting as shudders racked his body. Sapphire walked over to him and crouched ‘til they were eye level.

    “I can make all the pain go away, if you tell me who is behind the attacks on teenage girls.”

    Chase stopped vomiting long enough to stare at her. “Your sister is behind some of the attacks. But the person you should be worried about is...”

    Once again Chase was interrupted, but this time it wasn’t the Pokemon who did it. A shot sounded and one of the windows in the living room shattered. The bullet pierced Chase in the chest and blood spurted everywhere. Chase wheezed and groaned and coughed up blood.

    Sapphire tore off her shirt and pressed it to Chase’s wound. “Don’t die on me. You got it? I need you to stay awake while I patch you up.”

    She kept a hold on the shirt and called for her Pokemon. “Purple Tide, I need you to go get my First aid kit, Whopps, I need you to find me a sewing needle and some dental floss. Lily Pad, go get me some towels and call an ambulance.”


    Sapphire watched as the Paramedics loaded Chase onto the ambulance. She managed disinfect the wound and to stop the bleeding long enough so she could sew him. Sapphire didn’t have any thing to numb him up, so when she stuck the needle through his skin and started to sew him up, he passed out.

    She sighed and watched as the ambulance drove away. The siren was on and the lights were flashing. It didn’t matter that the Paramedics had the sirens and lights on, if they don’t make it to the hospital in the next few minutes, Chase could die of of blood loss and possible internal bleeding.

    Sapphire turned and walked into her house. Her Pokemon were helping clean up, and Jackie was comforting the babies. She walked over to the stairs and sat down. Her sister was in on the kidnappings and the murders. Now there was only one piece of the puzzle left. Who was helping her?

    Last edited by Arctic Penguin; 13th May 2012 at 09:18 PM.

    ^ Credits to Blue Dragon

  2. #2
    Creator of Nathan Castle BlazeMaster's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frozen Heat: Part One (Rated M for gore and language)


    Hunger Games RPG

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  3. #3
    Creator of Nathan Castle BlazeMaster's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frozen Heat: Part One (Rated M for gore and language)


    Your Introduction was good, it set up the plot like all other stories and it gave us some suspense. As this is a murder story you always have to do it a bit differently, i.e. involve the murderer itself, either in the eyes of the murderer of the victim. You chose to do this in the eyes of the murderer which gave us one problem. The one word that crept into it, as it was in the third person, was 'she.' Immediately this stuck in my head, as I read a lot of crime novels and the murderer is rarely a murderess. The moment that Sapphire mentionned her sister I had suspicions about her and her link to the murderer. These links that readers find are unpredictable, and for this reason I always write the introduction in the eye of the victim.

    The rest of your introduction was great though, especially given that this was a rape murderer. I've read books where they describe the rape blow by blow (no pun intended) and frankly it's gruesome. But you did it really well. That last line at the end 'But she was about to find out' was beautiful.


    To be frank, your plot was pretty damn good. You had two murders, just about the perfect number, each seemingly impossible to solve with very few clues around them. You didn't give much away (besides the thing about her sister) and you kept the mystery mysterious. You had a fair amount of action (again, no pun intended) outside of the crime itself, with Sapphire's interactions with the other characters who appeared seemingly randomly. The cheeky relationship between her and Gadge was really well handled but I found that Mark guy a bit random.

    Back onto the plot. Loads of the murder mysteries involve women and rape and you kept it pretty mainstream. You kept Chase pretty mysterious until the moment where you revealed him. At this point I screamed inside because you made it too obvious that he was involved in the murders somehow. But you did leave a few mysteries hanging, like why are Sapphire's Pokémon a bunch of psychos? To sum it up the murders were good but you revealed the characters too early on.


    You had your fair share of grammar errors.

    To start off with, here you said:

    he wasn't going to enjoy it while he can.
    'Can' implies that the sentence is in the present tense, but it's in the perfect (technically the aorist). You should have said 'could' and the sentence would look like this:

    he wasn't going to enjoy it while he could
    Later on you said this:

    He let go of her and stared at the shovel that had fell out of his grip
    Again, you've mucked up the tenses. You would either say had fallen or just fell. In this case it's better to say had fallen. As a result, the sentence looks like this:

    He let go of her and stared at the shovel that had fallen out of his grip.
    Then you said:

    The Pokémon looked at his outstretched hand than jumped on him, all most knocking him on his ass.
    There are two mistakes here.

    The words then and than are easy to confuse.

    Than is a comparative, used to compare two nouns. i.e. Sapphire is prettier than her sister.

    Then is a consecutive word, which is used to join two clauses. i.e. Sapphire jumped off the bus then fell into a garbage can.

    Here you want then, as you are connecting two sentences together. In this sentence you also said all most. It's one word, almost.

    A third stylistic error is using vulgar language outside of speech like here when you said "knocking him on his ass". Generally, good authors try to avoid this sort of thing, instead replacing it with something more PC like "almost knocking him backwards". So, in perfect circumstances this sentence would say:

    The Pokémon looked at his outstretched hand then jumped on him, almost knocking him backwards.
    Later on you said:

    Before Gadge could say anything, he pager beeped
    You mean his, a possessive adverb, making the sentence look like this:

    Before Gadge could say anything, his pager beeped.
    Also, you said this:

    There was five bedrooms and two bathrooms.
    You should have used were as you're talking about multiple things. So the sentence looks like this:

    There were five bedrooms and two bathrooms.
    Quite soon after this you said:

    There was granite counters. Oak Cupboards. Tile floors...
    Besides the 'was' problem you've used a full stop after listing each thing. You should never do this as sentences require a verb. You should instead put a comma after it, making the sentence look like this:

    There were granite counters, oak cupboards, tile floors...


    I split the dialogue into two categories. In the first goes the quality of writing, in the second grammar.


    What you said was good. You used the right balance between saying everything and leaving chunks of unnecessary speech out. However, you used grammatical structures like (...) and capitals to emphasise the way that the words were spoken. Technically this is incorrect. Let me give you an example.

    With Pokémons' speech you used (...) a lot, like here:

    "Sapphire? It's...okay. Please don't...cry."
    As I said, technically this is incorrect. Instead you should say something like this:

    "Sapphire? It's okay. Please don't cry..." Croagunk said haltingly.
    This is easier to read and more correct.


    Your grammar was mostly sound. You understand where to put full stops and where to put commas which is always great for us graders. You made the odd mistake on that but I won't point it out as you obviously understand.


    Parts of your plot weren't very feasible.

    Firstly, how is Sapphire allowed in a crime scene when she is just an ordinary citizen and has no relationship with the police.

    Then we have the matter of the footprints. I'm pretty sure that you even mentionned that they were on concrete. How does a shoe leave an imprint on rock hard concrete? This is a minor flaw.

    How does Sapphire manage to have a revolver?

    The Battle

    A few things go into my judgement of the battle at the end.

    1. The quality of the battle (in terms of imaginativeness)

    2. A balanced battle.

    3. Good move description.


    Your battle was alright. There wasn't much of a plot in terms of a problem followed by a solution, but this isn't entirely necessary. You still had a few turns involved but more would have been nicer.


    Your battle wasn't very balanced. The opponent barely attacked and you had two on ones which isn't very fair.


    The description was mediocre. You described the attacks but you could have put more detail into them. Usually I try to do at least three sentences. The formation of the attack, firing it and it hitting. The National Park's a good place to develope this.

    All in all the battle was alright but there's work to be done.


    Your story was more than long enough and you didn't cut it off. So well done.

    Your story was quite good. You had a good plot but a lot of grammar slip ups which were quite careless errors. So, I'm going to give you One Medium and One Simple Pokémon. Sort out the grammar and have a more detailed battle and you're sorted.
    @Arctic Penguin;

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  4. #4
    Registered User Arctic Penguin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frozen Heat: Part One (Rated M for gore and language)

    Thanks, @BlazeMaster

    I knew there was a lot of grammar problems and tried to fix a lot of them. Snorunt and Lotad are my choices.

    ^ Credits to Blue Dragon

  5. #5
    Senile EmBreon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frozen Heat: Part One (Rated M for gore and language)

    To be honest, grammar errors aren't a heavy enough issue to cause a capture fail on their own. That is, unless there were an overwhelming amount of them. And looking over this story, the grammar mistakes were not that big of a deal. There were certainly quite a few, but it wasn't unreadable. It's so easy to make typing errors in online fictions; all it takes is the slip of a finger. Proofreading is very important to correct these, but stories should be judged as a whole. The plot was strong, detail was nice, and for goodness sake, the character count is over the maximum. This is for Medium and Simple level ranks, which means an average story is all that is required.

    I am going to go ahead and overrule this grade and say that all of your Pokemon are captured. @Arctic Penguin

    Above all else, effort is what determines outcome. A good story stems from good effort. We aren't looking for perfection here; this is a low-level mon difficulty.
    Last edited by EmBreon; 17th August 2012 at 07:51 AM.


  6. #6
    Creator of Nathan Castle BlazeMaster's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frozen Heat: Part One (Rated M for gore and language)

    Fair enough, I guess. I was tempted, but on such a long story I wasn't so sure

    Hunger Games RPG

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