17th April 2010, 01:15 PM #1
The First Capture
The young Trainer, Calvin Drake, wandered away from the area he got Charmander in disbelief.
"I can't believe I finally got a Pokemon!" He said to himself.
"But, I don't know what to do now, maybe catch a Pokemon?" He said.
At that very moment, an Elekid walked by. It appeared to be holding some Pokemon Food. The Electric Pokemon started to drool as if it hadn't eaten in days. It then wiped the drool off.
"Well, speak of the devil!" Calvin said. "A Pokemon!"
"Kid?" The Elekid said, as if it was surprised.
"Go, Charmander!" Said Calvin, as he was throwing the capsule-like device known as a Poke Ball.
"Char?" Said the Charmander after catching Elekid in its line of sight.
"Use Ember!" Said Calvin.
And Charmander did. But not on Elekid. Instead, he used Ember on Calvin.
"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT FOR!?" Said the young, but very intimidating Trainer.
In all the commotion, Elekid slipped away.
"Don't 'Charmander!' me!" Said the enraged Trainer. "Wait, where'd Elekid go?"
"Char charmander." Said the Lizard Pokemon.
"Well, wherever it is, we have to find it." Said Calvin.
"Phew..." Said the Elekid in its langauge. "They almost got me." He then decided to snack on the food he found.
A few minutes later...
"That was good." Elekid said.
But a large red and white capsule came flying his way.
"Wah!" The Electric Pokemon cried. The capsule, also known as a Poke Ball, sucked him in, shook three times, and became a dark tinge as three stars came out of the top.
"Gotcha!" Someone cried. It was Calvin, who had been following Elekid the whole time!
"Char!" Cried his Charmander.
"Er, I mean, WE caught an Elekid!" Cried Calvin.
Calvin continued on with his journey after returning Charmander to its Poke Ball. Hoping to become as great of a Trainer as his father, Lance is, he continues to travel to the next city or town.
17th April 2010, 01:29 PM #2
Re: The First Capture
I'm sorry, but this story is too short for an Elekid. As stated in this thread, an Elekid is a Simple ranking Pokemon. This means your story should be somewhere around 5,000 to 10,000 characters in length. Right now, your story is only about 2,000 characters.
If you need help counting characters, Microsoft Word has that ability.
I suggest reading the How to Write Stories thread for some help. You should also take a glance at pe2k's Story Board for a general idea on how stories should look. :)
17th April 2010, 01:54 PM #3
Re: The First Capture
Also, you should never say you caught a Pokemon in your story. That's for the Grader to decide and the Grader only.