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Thread: Beginnings

  1. #1
    Wipethatsmirkoffyourface Master Hei's Avatar
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    Sep 2012
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    Default Beginnings


    Part two of another boring day

    Its been 20 days since Ms. Nerine gave me Lotad, and I have to say in these last few days I’ve had more fun then ever before. Now mom did want to know were I got the Pokemon, but all I told her was, I found the little guy when I was out, and a trainer I ran into gave me a PokeBall to hold it in. I know the big question, did she buy it? No, but that was the story I was sticking to.

    So after a few days, mom let it go. Another reason was, I was no longer fighting with Johnny and that made her happy, but that doesn’t mean there’s no problem. The first time Johnny’s little brats saw my Pokemon, they did nothing but bug him and my mom, because it was not fair that I got a Pokemon and they didn’t. And that started the first fight and I am proud to say I won that battle. It was not that hard to do, since I was not fighting with Johnny, and my mom was not about to screw that up. And so I got to keep my Lotad. Now I have to knock out Lucy a few times because she could not learn that what’s mine is just mine. Not hers, just mine. And after a few beating’s she finally got the message. But the best part was my birthday was in 9 hours, and then I was free at last.

    Today is my Birthday, I’m now free at last, but since my mom wanted to spend the day with me, I called Ms. Nerine and told her I would be a day or two, that way my mom could enjoy some time with me before I left. I had most my things packed and mom didn’t know anything. Plus, I’m keeping my room locked down. No one in but me. That way when I do leave, no one will see it coming. So a few more days here would not kill me.

    So I spent the next two days with my mom. We went out to lunch, saw movie, and sky diving to end the day. I’ll tell you what there nothing better the jumping out a airplane at 40.000 feet. Boy, that’s fun man. Just fun, and so after two days of fun with me and mom.

    It was the next day. I got up went into the bathroom, and brushed my teeth and white hair. Once I was done I walked back into my bedroom, and put on a white shirt and black pants, and my brown boots. I looked good. I grabbed my belt and put my Pokéball on it and I was ready.

    It was now time for me to go. I got all my stuff and left when mom and Johnny left for work, and all his kids were at school. I was done with it and no I didn’t go to my graduation. All the other high school kids did, but not me. I see no reason to go, so I had them send me my diploma in the mail.

    I finished packing what little things I had. Then took them all outside and waited for Ms. Nerine to pick me up, I didn’t wait long before she pulled up in her blue SUV. I put my things in it. Then I went back to my house and locked the door and made sure all the windows were locked as well, once that was done I got into the car and we left. I was finally free, no more Johnny or his brats bothering me, and what about my mom well after I cleaned my room, I did all the dishes and cleaned the bathroom, then I left her a note saying I was moving out and I would call her when I got settled in tonight. I knew she would be hurt, but it would not be that bad. She is a strong woman, so I worry about her.

    The ride to Ms. Nerine’s house was quiet but not the weird quiet, it was peaceful and I enjoyed it. Then it all came to a stop as we pulled up to Ms. Nerine’s house and it was a good looking house. Not to big but she does live by herself. The house was white with a small yard and a flower bed, which ran all the way up the driveway. The grass was nice and green, plus there was a small creak which ran on the side of her house. After enjoying a good look around, I got all my stuff and took in into Ms. Nerine’s house. The inside was nice looking as well, the walls were a light navy blue, she had white carpet, but to tell you the truth, it look like no one lived in this house, and if I had to guess I would say not to many people came to see her. I didn’t want to say that so I went down the hall, made a left and into my new room. It was bigger the my old one. I liked it so I started to unpack my things it didn’t take long before I was done. I made sure every thing was in order then I left out my room and in to the kitchen were Ms. Nerine was. I got some water, and then she asked me to come with her, so I did.

    We walked down hall and into her room. There was a box on her bed, I walked over and sat down next to her then she started to talk.

    “Okay Mark, I have here a starter kit for new Pokemon trainers like you. It has five PokéBalls, a potion, and Pokedex. Which are all the things you need to get started.”

    She had a smile on her face. I could tell this made her really happy.

    “Thank you so much, Nerine, I would not be able to do this without you, and I want to let you I appreciate it.”

    “It’s no problem, Mark, I too am a Pokemon trainer. So think of it as one trainer helping another trainer. Now tell me, how’s Lotad doing?”

    “Lotad is great. I have been practicing with it a lot, but we have not found any Pokemon to battle.”

    “Well, if you want to battle, you are going to need more Pokemon. Once you’re settled in, you should go to the park and look for some Pokemon. But wait until the sun goes down most Pokemon don’t came out until night, because of all the people in the park. Once you get another Pokemon, you should go to the Pokemon trainer school I teach there as well, so you should think about it”

    “If you think its a good idea, Nerine, then I will go, as long as it help me as a trainer.”

    “Well, I’m glad to here that. Anyways, I have things I must do. So I’m going to leave. Here’s a key to the house. The phone is in the kitchen, and you know were the food is, right?”

    “Right, I’ll see you later.”

    “Okay, bye.”

    Nerine whipped back her blue hair over her ears. She looked beautiful. She was wearing a white skirt with a light blue shirt. She turned around and flashed me a smile, those blue eyes were intoxicating but in a good why.

    I had the house to myself. Now the question was, what am I going to do first? That was easy, call mom. So I left out the room and into the kitchen were the phone was. I pick it up dialed her number and waited, the phone ringed twice before I got a answer.


    “Hello, is Scarlett, there?”

    “Yes, who may I ask is calling?”

    “This is Tiberius, I’m a friend.”

    “Okay, give me one second.”

    I had to lie. I knew that voice anywhere. It was Lucy and if I told her it was me she would not have got mom. Plus mom would know it was me because my dad called me Tiberius when I was a small kid, so it was a good code name.

    “Hello, Mark.”

    “Hi, mom.”

    “I was wondering when you were going to call me.”

    “Well, I wanted to get all my stuff unpacked before I did.”

    “So, were are you?”

    “Why do you want to know.”

    “Well, so I can come see you, and I want to see this new place you have.”

    I could tell she was lying by the tone of her voice. And I knew what she wanted to do. I was not stupid. if I told her were I was she would strangle me, so I thought it would be best to let her cool off, and never tell her were I am if she wanted to see me. I would go over there or we could meet.

    “Well, I have to say I’m not all unpacked and it’s a little messy, so why don’t I meet you?”

    “That’s fine. Meet me at the Poke Mart in a half hour.”

    “Will do see you then, mom.”

    “Good bye, son.”

    I hanged up the phone and got my Pokemon. I knew I would need help if she attacked me, so Lotad would be a nice back up if that happened. I got my things and left out. Now Nerine lived in the city near the school, but not to close in fact she lived close to a lot of things. The Poke Mart, and the Pokemon training school, and the Daycare center, so a walk down to the Poke Mart was not all bad and it would take me ten minutes to get there. That’s good timing.

    I got there and mom was not there yet, so I waited for her at the front door of the Mart. It was not long before I saw her car pull up and park. I was a little nervous at first, but this was my mom I could handle it any day.

    She got out the car, I saw her brush back her long thick brown hair behind her ears. She had on white pants, and a pink shirt, her blue eyes sparkled in the sun light.
    She walked over to the door. Mom didn’t see me until she walked in and then she flashed me a smile. I didn’t know if I should run or stay, but before I could do anything, she walked right up to me and gave me a big hug, I knew a talk was right around the corner.

    “I was so worried about you, Mark. I had the police looking for you. I mean, you just take off and not say anything?”

    “What are you talking about? I left a letter on the refrigerator saying, I found a place but I had to move in today or I could not have it, so I packed up my stuff and off I went. I said I would call when I got in,” I didn’t get it. I left the letter on the Refrigerator, so why didn’t she get?

    “Well Mark, I don’t know what happened to the letter, but why didn’t you tell me you were looking for a place to stay. I could have helped you out.”

    I felt so bad lying to her. Then I realized, mom was doing it on purpose. She knew I was lying to her, which means she knows were I’m staying, But how did she find out? Nerine didn’t tell. I didn’t tell. Damn, she is good.

    “Okay mom, spit it out. How did you find out?”

    “What are you talking about, Mark?”

    “Do I look stupid to you? How did you find were I was”

    A evil frown slipped across her face like a snake in the grass, then she replied.

    “Well, I might have gone by Nerine’s house today on my way home and seen you unpacking your stuff, so would you like to change your story?”

    “Like I have a choice now! Anyways, you want the truth here it is. I can’t stand that house anymore. I loved it back when it was just us as a family, but now we got Johnny and his kids, which I don’t like and you know. I’m not going to take their crap anymore. So yes, I left and no I’m not staying there for the rest of my life. I’m going to the Pokemon training school, and I’m going to learn about Pokemon. Then I’m leaving. I’m going to travel the world and be the best trainer that ever lived and there’s nothing that anyone can do about it.”

    “You know, you’re just like your father, Mark. He too was a Pokemon trainer and he was Champion Of The Elite Four. So if you wanted to leave, I would have said yes. I just don’t see why you had to lie”

    “Well, I figured you would say no and then we would have a big fight. And we would say stuff we didn’t mean, and destroy our relationship and I didn’t want that so I wrote you a letter and left”

    “Well, I don’t know about all that, but I would not have been mad. You’re my son. I’m glad you want to be a trainer, and you can come home any time you want. But if you want to stay with Nerine, that’s fine too. As long as you are happy, its fine.”

    Boy, I felt like a** hole lying to her. And all this time she didn’t mind. I should have guessed that from the start, but I didn’t and now I look like a fool. But I glad she’s not mad at me.

    “So, what do you want to do now, mom?”

    “Well, we are at the Mart and you are going to need a water stone, so why not buy one? I’ll get it for you since you don’t have a lot of money.”

    This was great. I got a water stone and went out with mom I was having a good day and it was coming to the end, mom left and went home. Me? I went to the park to get some Pokemon. I got to the park and it was dark already. I didn’t know what Pokemon I would find, so I waited until I would find one. I was out there for a hour and I was ready to go home when I heard a sound, I looked around but didn’t fine anything but I could still hear the sound. It was like someone was crying.

    I walked out to find whoever was making this sound. But there was no one in the Park, so there was a echo. It was to hard for me, so I called out Lotad to find the cry. He looked around for a minute then took off. I followed him across the Park, then he stopped at a bush and that were the sound was coming from. I walked behind it to fine a Pokemon it was brown and had a skull on its head with a bone in its hand. The little thing was sitting down crying. I took out my Pokedex to see what Pokemon it was, it took a second for it to pop on the dex.

    Cubone the lonely Pokemon. It wears the skull of its dead mother on its head. When it becomes lonesome, it is said to cry loudly.

    Well, now I know why it is doing it, and now its time to get me a Pokemon.

    “Okay Lotad, use your Water Gun attack!”

    Lotad opened up its mouth and let out a burst of water, it hit Cubone in the face. and I don’t think it liked it. Cubone got and threw the bone at Lotad. It whistled through the air and hit Lotad. Lotad went sailing through the air and hit a tree.

    This was bad. Cubone was pissed off. The little Pokemon raised the bone it was holding, pulling its arm back before whipping it forward and releasing the weapon with a surprising amount of force. The bone whistled through the air, spinning so fast it was an ivory blur, and hit Lotad in the face.


    The cry of my Pokemon echoed through the Park. I looked over to Lotad, he was a little hurt, but still ready to fight. Cubone wanted to play hard, so it was time to show it what I was made of.

    “Lotad, use Mega Drain!”

    Lotad body began to glow as did Cubone’s. The little dinosaur Pokemon fell itself, getting weaker. It look at Lotad, then dashed after him. The little ground Pokemon ran as fast as its little legs could go. Mega Drain help Lotad out a bit he was not that weak anymore, I didn’t want Lotad to get hit, so I tryed a new attack.

    “Lotad, use Astonish!”

    Lotad make a awful high pitch sound. Cubone was startled by the sound and stopped running, Cubone then lifted up it’s bone and threw it at Lotad.

    “Lotad, use Energy Ball!”

    Lotad opened it’s mouth, I saw a green ball forum inside his mouth. Lotad exhaled sending the green ball soaring for Cubone. At that moment it was like time slowed down, I watch as both the Energy Ball, and boomerang, both pass by each other. Then time snapped back, both attacks hit the two Pokemon. Lotad fainted on contact, and Cubone was send flying into the air, then crashed into the ground.

    I took out a Poké Ball, then threw it at Cubone. The ball opened up and a red beam came from within it and sucked in Cubone. The ball wiggled twice, before the center of it flashed red. I had caught Cubone, but now I had to get my Lotad. I walked over to him and retuned him to his Poké Ball. I then started to run to the Pokemon center, I was not far from it so my Pokemon could make it. I ran for about 12 minutes before I got to the Pokemon center, I ran in through the front doors and up to the desk.

    Hello, how my I help,” Said the nurse.

    “I need help. Both my Pokemon have fainted!”

    “Okay, calm down and take a deep breath, I need the Poké Balls so I can put them into the rejuvenation chamber.”

    I took out the Poké Balls and handed them over the nurse. She took them into the back, then can out a few minutes later.

    “Come here, young man.”

    I walked over to the nurse to hear what she had to say.

    “I have some good news. Your Cubone is back to full health, but your Lotad is going to have to stay over night. He’s in bad shape right now. But will be fine in the morning,” The nurse handed over Cubone’s Pokéball to me the left into the back room.

    I walked over and sat down on a chair, I looked to right and a kid was walking over to me. He walked right up and sat down next to me, then started to talk.



    “My name is D’Artagnan, what is yours?”

    “Mark. Nice to meet you,” I reached over and shook his hand.

    “Well Mark, I could not help but here you have a Cubone, yes?”

    “Yeah, I just got it tonight why?”

    “Because I have been looking for one for over a year, and I have no luck, so would you trade Pokemon with me, please?”

    “What Pokemon do you want to trade?”

    “I have anIce and Ground Pokemon called Swinub, he is brown and had a pig nose, plus has a lot of hair all over its body.”

    “Well, I don’t see why we can’t, so sure I will.”

    “Great! thanks so much I will go and get the nurse.”

    D’Artagnan ran off to get the nurse. He was really happy, it didn’t take long for him to get back. I got up and followed him and the nurse to the back room, we walked in and sat down. The nurse asked if I wanted to trade my Cubone for D’Artagnan’s Swinub. I told her yes, then we both took out our Poké Balls and sat them in a hole in front of us. the nurse pushed a button on the side of the table, and the hole which the balls were on opened and the Pokéballs fell in.

    In a blink of a eye both Pokéball were switched then lifted back up I took my new one and so did D’Artgnan. We both walked out the room, and back into the waiting room. D’Artagnan called out to me.

    “Thanks for the Cubone, Mark!” I gave him a nod, then walked back over to my chair and went to sleep.

    Last edited by Master Hei; 16th September 2012 at 01:12 PM.

  2. #2
    Stay Classy The Jr. Trainer's Avatar
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    Mar 2010
    Chicago, Illinois

    Default Re: Beginnings

    If this is a whole new account with new URPG stats and whatnot then I can't regrade it since its technically Black Repear's story not ki adi mundi's. Unless Emma/Kat or some higher story power override me.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Beginnings

    Quote Originally Posted by The Jr. Trainer View Post
    If this is a whole new account with new URPG stats and whatnot then I can't regrade it since its technically Black Repear's story not ki adi mundi's. Unless Emma/Kat or some higher story power override me.
    He already asked me if he could still use his stories, and I told him yes. Everything that was already captured remains on his old account, but he can still edit failed stories/add new chapters and use them for his new one. They are still his stories; we don't lock them upon restarting.

    At least that's the way things were done in the ye olden days. ;x


  4. #4
    Stay Classy The Jr. Trainer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Chicago, Illinois

    Default Re: Beginnings

    Quote Originally Posted by EmBreon View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by The Jr. Trainer View Post
    If this is a whole new account with new URPG stats and whatnot then I can't regrade it since its technically Black Repear's story not ki adi mundi's. Unless Emma/Kat or some higher story power override me.
    He already asked me if he could still use his stories, and I told him yes. Everything that was already captured remains on his old account, but he can still edit failed stories/add new chapters and use them for his new one. They are still his stories; we don't lock them upon restarting.

    At least that's the way things were done in the ye olden days. ;x

  5. #5
    Stay Classy The Jr. Trainer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Chicago, Illinois

    Default Re: Beginnings

    Okay. Regrade commencing...

    I'll say this first: the story feels a lot more whole this time around. By that I mean the events do not seem randomly placed, everything is very methodical. Which can be a good or bad thing, but for this it worked out fine. It is good to see that you put a more cement reason of going to Ms. Nacrene's house in, in the previous version of the story the reason was very weak and seemed forced. Well, most of everything seemed forced. But now, here, you have a pretty good action/consequence ratio going on (things happens due to other things).

    Your grammar also was patched up nicely. You had a few grammar gripes here and there. But nothing to really worry about. My number one piece of advice is to proofread, let someone else proofread and then do it again out loud. While you do not need to go to those lengths you should make sure you can erase as many simple and bold mistakes.

    Those were the two main things that I had wrong with the original story, so now, I can go ahead and give you your Pokemon because everything is up to or beyond par. Good job! Swinub captured!


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