Almanac of an Intelligent Oddish

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  1. #1
    Registered User JokesterJesse's Avatar
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    Default Almanac of an Intelligent Oddish

    Attempt Capture: Oddish
    Characters Needed:5000
    Actual of Characters:5557


    Entry Page:
    Hello, you’re reading my Almanac, or as some of you may call it, a journal, or diary. It is an ALMANAC and I don’t care what you guys think! This is a story about my life being the only intelligent Oddish in my town (and my hopes and dreams of becoming a singer/song writer.) “LOLZ JKZ OMG I LIKE CANT BELIBE YOU BELIEBED ME,” as my ‘Friends’ would say, and I use the term friend very, very loosely. Well, anyways, I hope someone intelligent will find this when I am dead and frame it or something.

    Almanac Entry Day One:
    “The square root of sixty nine is eight something right?” I asked myself as I did my math homework (assigned by my teacher, who is not an Oddish, therefore making him smarter than everyone else in my town), without a calculator I must add. I was an Oddish, the only one of my kind to be exact. Yes, I looked the same as all the other Oddish; a spherical-shaped body as all other Oddish, the leafy hair that was as nappy as a black girl trainer's hair, and the same obscure shaped feet that us Oddish use to saunter along without a care in the world. Although I was different, I had an IQ of one hundred, while the normal Oddish IQ falls below 50. Yes, I am proud to say that I am the only intelligent Oddish in my town.

    I lived in the town of ‘OMGBGFFEHERLOLWHAT’, but for short we called it ‘Lolnear’, which is not even derived from our town name other then the lol. The founder of our town's name was ‘Ryan Feger’ and his first words when he came upon this new land where “OMGBGFFEHERLOLWHAT”, which is why we named it that, but we get the shortened name from his nick name which was ‘Near’ and then we just threw in the lol from the actual name. I personally believe that ‘Near’ was just a troll, but others beg to differ, and by others I mean the rest of the town. They claim that he was a prophet, one of Harry’s disciples, or the least popular idea, that ‘Near’, is the founder of a secret society of Pokémon wanting new world order, known as the “Illuminatey.“

    Almanac Entry Day Two:
    “Haterrzz yu can keel yo selffs,” I remembered this darker female Oddish with pink leafs said today. She probably will be mad I am writing about her, but I doubt anyone will actually find this and even if they do, will they be able to actually read it. I was sick of school, from the retarded Oddish, to the retarded whore Oddish, to the mentally challenged retarded Oddish. My whole life involved me being surrounded by complete idiots who didn’t understand anything anyone told them. How they even learned the Oddish language is still a shock to me.
    Today wasn’t the best day. My mother, a Vileplume and my father, a Bellosom, had started to battle. It was pretty crazy and amusing, but I somehow got brought into the fray. It then turned into my mother and father against me. But, with my intelligence I managed to avoid any further conflict. Other then getting hit by a couple attacks I was alright.

    Mark my words: if I ever meet anyone with an IQ of 75+, we will start a cult, and obliterate all Oddish with an IQ of less than 74, and take over the Oddish kingdom and get rid of all things ‘Ryan Feger.’


    Almanac Entry Day Three:
    “You can thank me now,” I thought to myself as I stared as the practically blank page in my almanac. This almanac had been a great thing. I had been venting my feelings and no one had even found out about it. For Harry’s sake, I had vented so much and didn’t have to worry about anyone hearing or seeing this. (That is until they make a dummies guide to reading this almanac, and a ‘Almanac on CD’ CD.) I had even included some of the back pages of the almanac labeling people who fit under categorizes of retard, retarded whore, ect.

    Although today was a pretty average day, something strange did happen while I was at school. My almanac had gone missing for a whole three class periods. I was in a panic, but thankfully I found it later that day in my bag where I could have sworn I had already looked before. (I hope nobody who can actually read got a hold of it.)

    Almanac Entry Day Four:
    : “I hope it gives you hell,” I thought and oh yes, it did give me hell. My whole almanac had been copied yesterday, when I thought I had just lost it. Someone had actually had it. School was chaos today, nobody had said one word to me other then “WOW Yu r won mayjer douche bag wat da phuuck wer u thinkin,” and other stuff, but that was one of the things that the majority of Oddish had told me. I had been expelled from school and banished from the town of ‘OMGBGFFEHERLOLWHAT’ for all of the bad stuff I wrote about the members of my school and the people that lived in my town, which really wasn’t that bad. Although I have to leave my family and find a new town to live in, it’s partially a good thing. I had wanted to leave for the longest time, but I never wanted to be forced to leave.
    Next time I write, it will be when I have found a new town to live in.

    Almanac Entry Day Five:
    It has been a couple of days since my last entry. I have finally found a new town to live in. It is another town of Oddish and it seems that it wasn’t just my town where the Oddish were as dumb as they come, it must just be all Oddish. Although I have met one intelligent Oddish, I asked him his IQ and he told me it was 77. It was in the perfect range for me to be able to start my cult and decimate all Oddishes and change the past to be the way I, I mean we want it. Tomorrow I will be asking the new intelligent Oddish to join forces with me. If all goes well, he will say yes and we will begin our plans to take over the world.


    If Captured
    ~ If you are reading this today, me and my partner have taken over the world and you are reading about me in your history class.

    If Failed
    ~ If you are reading this when I asked my New friend to join a cult with me he reported me to the Magnezone police and I was immediately lynched.

  2. #2
    The Hyacinth Girl Alaskapigeon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Almanac of an Intelligent Oddish

    I'm claaaaaaaaiming away.....Set an open course, for the virgin sea.
    I speak four languages, help me practice please
    Hablas conmigo en español, por favor
    Vous parlez avec moi en français, s'il vous plaît
    我正在学中文

  3. #3
    The Hyacinth Girl Alaskapigeon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Almanac of an Intelligent Oddish

    Intro: Your story starts out interesting. Mostly because the word almanac does not mean the same thing as journal or diary. I tried to tell you this Jesse, but I'm going to let it go, because it's hilarious. For future reference though, a journal or diary is a book full of personal information and ancdotes. An almanac is a book of maps. Maps. Life story. Maps. Life story. Anyways, right from the intro, we can tell this is going to be a funny story. Good job.

    Plot: So your story was about a genius Oddish who lived in a town full of much stupider Oddish, wrote about how much he hated them in his diary, had his diary found, and was lynched out of town to another town of equally stupid Oddish. To be honest, from your story he sounded more like a psychopath than anything, but whatever. xD Mostly your story tried to be funny, and it definitely succeeded at that. Much lulz were had:

    The founder of our town's name was ‘Ryan Feger’ and his first words when he came upon this new land where “OMGBGFFEHERLOLWHAT”
    I was sick of school, from the retarded Oddish, to the retarded whore Oddish, to the mentally challenged retarded Oddish.
    Those were just a couple highlights. Overall, your story is funny and original.

    Dialogue: You didn't have any real dialogue, just diary entries about conversations, so this section is kinda unnecessary.

    Grammar: I went over all your grammar with you over AIM and through some PMs, so unless I missed a couple typos you had from writing this up on your phone, you should be fine. Please though, for the love of God start using a word processor so I don't have to help you correct your stuff and teach you about comma placement and dialogue tags. X_X

    Detail: You didn't do too much describing other than what Oddish look like. You probably should've tried to at least describe the town, or the school, or something. I won't be too harsh, since these were diary entries, but in the future, you're going to need A LOT more detail to get a passing grade, mmkay? You need to describe Pokemon, human characters, places, feelings, love, hate, heroes, villains, action, adventure, zombies, cheese, etc.

    Length: You needed 5k and you have 5.5k, you're fine.

    Reality: Nothing terribly unrealistic, except the way IQ points work, is 100 is the average for the population. No exceptions. So in a society of stupid people, they would all have an IQ of 100, even though they are stupider than our society. But that's nitpicking, so....

    Personal Feelings: I lold several times and since your story seemed to be focused on humor, I'll call it a success.

    Outcome: Oddish....captured.

    Have fun with your Pokemon, Jesse!

    I speak four languages, help me practice please
    Hablas conmigo en español, por favor
    Vous parlez avec moi en français, s'il vous plaît
    我正在学中文

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