Article: Panic About Presents
By Tyranitex
Panic About Presents
What To Do About The Easter Gift Away?
Spring is just around the corner. To the many members of the URPG, this means many different things. Personally, spring means lots of rain, clamoring to get homework done to have more time outside, and watching the mother hummingbird come back to her seasonal nest and raise the newst addition to her family.
However, one thing that spring means to all of those that are reading this, well those that count, at least (I'm looking at you lurkers), is the Easter Give Away. This event although named Easter, is actually the same as the Spring Gift Away/Stations that URPG holds annually. As with its counterpart, the Christmas Give Away, members of the URPG are given the three chances in a year to gift their friends and acquaintances Pokémon and items. Normally, they would have to trade to allow another URPGer to obtain something in their stats. It is a truly rare event indeed.
Now, this event may bring an array of emotions. Those of you that are bathing in the cash will probably be fairly comfortable buying and gifting many Pokémon and items to others. However, those of us that do not have all four jobs and have a battle every five minutes are pretty panicked. We want to get everyone of our friends something, yet we do not have the income to do so. Not to fret, though. Here are some strategies that I have come up with to counteract this common quandry.
- You know that crappy Pokémon that has been stagnating in your stats for months? Why not check around and see if you can get a decent trade for it? Usually, someone out there wants what you've got. If it's something that's pretty rare but not that useful in battle, trade it to a collector like Bumblebee or Scourge of Nemo. If not, then try to use it in as many battles as possible. If it's a basic Pokémon, then commit it to Permabasics and exploit those easy 1v1's for mega money. Even if you don't win, 500 per battle adds up.
- Strapped for cash? There are two main ways to get money in the URPG: battle and get a job. Battling is the most time effective due to the fact that wages are paid periodically. If you go hunting around for some battles, odds are you can find some. The only drawback would be if you don't have AIM. AIM is essential to quick and high paying battles.
- Try to be on AIM as much as possible just in case there is a FFA. Free For All battles are crazy battles that involve as many trainers as a given ref can stuff into a chat room. Each trainer sends their Pokémon privately to the ref and the the ref posts all of the Pokémon (no names attached) in the chat. You then send moves targeting Pokémon or yourself privately to the ref. These tend to last a long time and are very tedious if you last up until the final throes. However, these battles pay a very large amount of money. Also, refs are allowed to add certain fun rules to the battle, like all Pokémon start with subs @ 75% or you don't see the Pokémon, but rather the names of the trainers.
- Many items at the store are permanent, fairly useful, and pretty cheap. Check out the Choice items(3k) and Earthquake(6k). Both are pretty much essential in any gym battle and both are extremely reasonably priced. That's not all, though. Several pre-evolutions to high tiered Pokémon are priced really low at the Pokemart. Crobat, Golem, Raichu, Togekiss, Ampharos, Roserade, and Swoobat all are readily avaliable after a purchase and a few basics battles. Not only that, but all of the Pokémon I just mentioned have pre-evolutions at the mart that are set at an unbelievable 5k! I'd get on that quick if I were you.
- The last tip I have is centered around the more higher middle class members of the URPG. If you can't think of what to buy even after cross referencing the Pokemart with your friends' stats, just buy them all Daycare Passes. Set at 10k a pop, these passes allow for your friend to get two daycare moves free of charge and are readily avaliable at the giveaway. A few daycare moves can never go amiss so this is the quintessential present. Though they aren't priced down for the occasion, your friend will love you for it as these babies are usually a Godsend for avid trainers.
Have fun at the Easter Give Away, but don't let your wallet get too thin!
By Tyranitex.
April 20th, 2011.
Featured Member Interview Q&A: Derian
By Alaskapigeon
I watched my prey from behind a desk in the URPG Times office. He was walking towards the meeting room, unaware that I was about to strike. Finally, the moment came. I pounced.
“HUGTACKLE!” I yelled and hugtackled Derian, knocking him to the floor.
“AGH!” he shouted in surprise.
“Hi, Derian.” I climbed off of him and back to my feet.
“Hey.”
I pulled a pencil and notepad off a random desk. Hopefully, Ataro wouldn’t get mad at me for stealing them. “Can I interview you for the URPG Times?”
“Alrighty,” he said, dusting himself off. “Do you have any questions?”
“Hmmm… not that I’ve planned out.”
“Good game.”
“Actually, wait. How do you think you’re going to do in the FFA tourney?”
He thought for a moment. “Well, my record in FFAs has been decent so far, so I’m hoping I can at least place sort of well. But I’m not keeping my expectations too high.”
“So… um. You look kind of like a stoner. Are you high right now?”
He stared at me. I glanced back. “Was that an actual question?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not not not not high.”
I cocked my head to the side. “So how did you celebrate 4/20 then?”
“That previous sentence was a lie, by the way, and I celebrated by eating lots and lots of candy. I just went to this convenience store on campus and stocked up on candy and ate it all in about half an hour.”
Now it was my turn to stare. “Son, I am disappoint.” I shook my head. “Let’s see here, if you had to sleep with anyone in the URPG, who would it be and why?” Before he could make up an excuse not to answer, I added, “Yes, you have to answer that. The public needs to know.”
“Well, that depends on if you mean ‘have sex with’ or not, and if so, Roulette. If not, then also Roulette.”
I laughed politely, but I wasn’t sure gay marriage was allowed anywhere in the south. I thought about what he had said. “So like, he had the Ice Dojo before you, does that make you like Batman and Robin? Actually, never mind, you said you wanted to sleep together, that’s kind of an answer.” I changed the subject. “Out of the entire URPG, in order of who’s the best at battling, where would you place yourself?”
“Somewhere in the top half, maybe, but that could be too optimistic. There are a lot of people who suck though, so I don’t mean it too egotistically.”
“If you had to describe the URPG in one song, what would it be?”
“Violent Pornography by System of a Down,” he said without hesitation.
“Final question, will you bear my child?”
He looked me dead in the eye. “If we ever had sex, you would die from the sheer intensity.”
I copied everything he said down.
“This was great,” I said, “but I gotta run. Catch ya’ later.” I began to run off.
“ALL ARE COCKS!” he yelled after me. He must’ve been voting for Pidge.
Featured Gym Leader Interview Q&A: Team Evolution
By pman
This weak, Team Evolution has taken time out from his busy schedule to bow down to the ultimate test of vanity, being interviewed by me about the most important thing in the world - how good a gym leader is he?
Pman: Hello.
Team Evolution: Hey!
Pman: Glad you could spare some time.
Team Evolution: Oh. no problem. Masturbation can come later.
Pman: I suppose the first question is which gym you own, and what it's like to lead?
Team Evolution: Well, at the moment, I lead Mikan Gym. It's an Orange Island gym; it differs from normal gyms with its rules and prizes. To some people, leading this gym could be seemed as easy but others make it look hard. The rules are strict, since it's a 3v3 match up and strictly only Water-types can be used.
Pman: That must present some interesting challenges...
Team Evolution: Yes. Your opponent should have no type advantage against you and it makes the battle quite fair.
Pman: So it's a good measure of pure skill?
Team Evolution: Yes, this is why I call myself the water master! 
Well, also because I've owned all Water-type gyms - Cerulean, Pastoria, Sootopolis, and now Mikan.
Pman: How do battles in Mikan differ from the others?
Team Evolution: Well, you can only use battle revolution mechanics (Revolution, Collosseum, Stadium, or B/W Revolution), so you have no advantage in forcing the opponent to send first. Not only that, you will have to fight without seeing their moves, thus making it harder to predict and counter their moves.
Pman: What is the biggest challenge you have had as leader of any gym?
Team Evolution: I have had no big challenges. So far, I've lost because of my own mistakes or due to hax (4/2 record at the moment). This is probably the worst record I’ve had for a while. I had 9/1 for Cerulean and 5/1 for Pastoria. Ataro is going to challenge me soon, so I expect him to be my biggest challenge so far.
Pman: So the evidence is on the table, you’re a good leader. However, what is your most exciting battle, in and outside of gym?
Team Evolution: Inside of a gym would probably be when I beat Ataro in his gym, just beating him and putting the egg on his face was good to see. For outside of the gym, would probably be a 6v6 FUN battle I had with Pidge a few months ago. It was a well fought battle where Pidge used his legends against me and in the end due to a reffing mistake, I lost (
he sent an extra Pokémon for me).
Pman: I actually vaguely recall reading about that battle ... there aren't enough people that battle for fun these days. How often do you battle for just the sake of the enjoyment?
Team Evolution: Not often. The battles that I am in these days are either for gym, against a gym, defending LD (lost) or tournament battles. No one wants to battle me for fun these days. 
Pman: What is your favorite gym Pokémon and why?
Team Evolution: It would be probably Marill. It has an impressive movepool along with a very good ability in Huge Power, which doubles the Attack stat. Along with rain and a Choice Band, it will be able to hit a lot of enemy Pokémon with some hefty damage, especially with a priority Aqua Jet attack.
Pman: All of your opponent's Pokémon know Water-type moves. Exactly how useful is the rain weather?
Team Evolution: It is useful when the opponent has no Pokémon with Swift Swim. I can then use the rain against them with a Pokémon like Ludicolo, which has Swift Swim and has a very impressive movepool along with STAB Grass-type attacks.
Pman: Given Kingdra's very limited movepool and the fact that it is easily walled by Empoleon, how often do you use it?
Team Evolution: I use it quite often as a matter of fact. Not a lot of people have Empoleon, but when they use it, I will always have Ludicolo around to Drain Punch. Actually, Empoleon can't even wall my Kingdra; mine has Hidden Power (Fighting).
Pman: There speaks a lucky man. If you don't mind me asking, what do you in in real life, other than being an impressive Water-type gym leader?
Team Evolution: At the moment, I'm in Year 12. It's the last year of school so I'm trying to work hard (trying lol) to get into a decent college/university.
Pman: Ah. The stress of that final year of school. I'll let you go masturbate now, thanks for your time.
Team Evolution: Okay, bye!! 
---
Team Evolution actually went off to argue with everyone’s favorite referee, Ataro, about who was a better battler, I’m sure our glorious editor has a strong opinion on the subject. As an aside, he also really failed the vanity test.
That’s all for this week folks, remember, the gym leaders are always looking to battle so contact them whenever you like.
(Editor's Note: Actually, I don't. 
)
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