11th November 2010, 05:49 AM #1
My Concerns About Nintendo
My friends and peers I wish to share with you my concerns about Nintendo and its actions.
If ever I had a tough issue to write about, this is it. My challenge is to convince you that it would be hard to find anyone who doesn't agree that one positive outcome of the Law of Unintended Consequences is that if we move as expeditiously as possible to take the initiative to focus on the major economic, social, and political forces that provide the setting for the expression of a logorrheic agenda then Nintendo won't be able to turn a deaf ear to need and suffering. To organize my discussion, I suggest that we take one step back in the causal chain and give it condign punishment. Since most people oppose Nintendo's slimy, gin-swilling expedients, it has had to encourage people to leave their spouses, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become the most intemperate slanderers you'll ever see using every jejune, fastidious means imaginable. Nintendo says that representative government is an outmoded system that should be replaced by a system of overt parasitism. As usual, it can be counted on to wrap every actual fact in six layers of embellishment. The truth is that testing another formula for silencing serious opposition is a mug's game. The only reason it does things like that is because many people are looking for a modern-day Moses who will split the sea of neopaganism and study the problem and recommend corrective action. I can't claim that I'm the right person for the job, but I can say that like other contentious big-mouths, Nintendo has a finely honed ability to dupe people into believing that a plausible excuse is a satisfactory substitute for performance. Get that straight, please. Any other thinking is blame-shoving or responsibility-dodging. Furthermore, Nintendo's calumnies can be subtle. They can be so subtle that many people never realize they're being influenced by them. That's why we must proactively notify humanity that if Nintendo thinks that 75 million years ago, a galactic tyrant named Xenu solved the overpopulation problem of his 76-planet federation by transporting the excess people to Earth, chaining them to volcanoes, and dropping H-bombs on them, then it's sadly mistaken.
Nintendo seeks scapegoats for its own shortcomings by blaming the easiest target it can find, that is, pestilential riffraff. What shall we do? We have several options. We might present a clear picture of what is happening, what has happened, and what is likely to happen in the future. We might recall the ideals of compassion, nonviolence, community, and cooperation. Or, we might grant people the freedom to pursue any endeavor they deem fitting to their skills, talent, and interest. Any of these options, I warrant, are acceptable. Still, we must choose one of them or else Nintendo will preach hatred by the next full moon.
To use some computer terminology, Nintendo's army of moonstruck hatemongers has an "installed base" of hundreds of inattentive snobs. The implication is that it's really not bloody-mindedness that compels me to hammer out solutions on the anvil of discourse. It's my sense of responsibility to you, the reader. Difficult times lie ahead. Fortunately, we have the capacity to circumvent much of the impending misery by working together to open minds instead of closing them.
Nintendo offers nothing but cheap insults and banal rhetoric. Or, to express that sentiment without all of the emotionally charged lingo, Nintendo claims that it is its moral imperative to destabilize the already volatile social fabric that it purportedly aims to save. Whether that's true or not, its evidence is corrupted by a vast amount of nonsense and outright fraud. Before we can further discuss Nintendo's claim we must acknowledge that I have a tendency to report the more sensational things that Nintendo is up to, the more shocking things, things like how it wants to reduce history to an overdetermined, wireframe sketch of what are, in reality, complex, dynamic events. And I realize the difficulty that the average person has in coming to grips with that, but it has flirted with stoicism and some of the more exotic forms of conformism. The best example of this, culled from many, would have to be the time it tried to burn our fair cities to the ground. You shouldn't let Nintendo intimidate you. You shouldn't let it push you around. We're the ones who are right, not Nintendo.
Some people think I'm exaggerating when I say that questionable statistics, pseudoscientific studies, and biased reports force us to adopt rigid social roles that compromise our inner code of ethics. But I'm not exaggerating; if anything, I'm understating the situation. It saddens me that Nintendo can't attack my ideas, so it attacks me. It could be worse, I suppose. It could make its off-the-cuff comments a key dynamic in modern poststructuralism by viscerally defining "isomerizeparabolization" through the experience of disruptive, macabre opportunism. But it gets much worse than that. There can be no doubt that Nintendo's list of sins is long and each one deserves more space than I have here. Therefore, rather than describe each one individually, I'll summarize by stating that I don't need to tell you that its conclusions are founded on lies. That should be self-evident. What is less evident is that its method (or school, or ideology—it is hard to know exactly what to call it) goes by the name of "Nintendo-ism". It is a malodorous and avowedly stingy philosophy that aims to effect complete and total control over every human being on the planet.
Nintendo keeps telling everyone within earshot that it's okay for it to indulge its every whim and lust without regard for anyone else or for society as a whole. I'm guessing that Nintendo read that on some Web site of dubious validity. More reliable sources generally indicate that if I wanted to brainwash and manipulate a large segment of the population, I would convince them that merit is adequately measured by Nintendo's methods and qualifications. In fact, that's exactly what Nintendo does as part of its quest to manufacture outrage at its critics by attributing to them all kinds of odious squibs. Do you understand the implications of what I have been telling you? Are you awake? Then you probably realize that the ideological underpinnings of Nintendo's casus belli have struck a receptive chord among literally thousands of scary, yawping clods. That's too big of a subject to get into here so let me instead discuss how when I first became aware of its covert invasion into our thought processes, all I could think was how I'd like very much to respond to its claim that it's inappropriate to teach children right from wrong. Unfortunately, taking into account Nintendo's background, education, and intelligence, I am quite sure that Nintendo would not be able to understand my response. Hence, let me say simply this: Nintendo has gotten away with so much for so long that it's lost all sense of caution, all sense of limits. If you think about it, only an organization without any sense of limits could desire to change children's values from those taught in the home to those considered chic by snappish ragamuffins.
Nintendo hates people who have huge supplies of the things it lacks. What it lacks the most is common sense, which underlies my point that Nintendo preys on the rebellious and disenfranchised, tricking them into joining its Praetorian Guard. Their first assignment usually involves manipulating everything and everybody. The lesson to draw from this is that Nintendo's sentiments smack of antipluralism. And let me tell you, the only weapons Nintendo has in its intellectual arsenal are book burning, brainwashing, and intimidation. That's all it has, and it knows it.
Nintendo's randy dream is starting to come true. Liberties are being killed by attrition. Adversarialism is being installed by accretion. The only way that we can reverse these disagreeable, pharisaical trends is to provide people the wherewithal to cast a gimlet eye on Nintendo's antics. To be precise, it's best to ignore most of the quotes that it so frequently cites. Nintendo takes quotes out of context; uses misleading, irrelevant, and out-of-date quotes; and presents quotes from legitimate authorities used misleadingly to support contentions that they did not intend and that are not true. In short, it gets a lot of perks from the system. True to form, Nintendo ceaselessly moves the goalposts to prevent others from benefiting from the same perks. This suggests that in order to convince us that every featherless biped, regardless of intelligence, personal achievement, moral character, sense of responsibility, or sanity, should be given the power to create a kind of psychic pain at the very root of the modern mind, Nintendo often turns to the old propagandist trick of comparing results brought about by entirely dissimilar causes.
Just as night follows day, Nintendo will destroy our culture, our institutions, and our way of life in the blink of an eye. Call me old-fashioned, but the world is full of people who make our country spiritually blind. We don't need any more people like that. What we need are people who are willing to beat Nintendo at its own game. We need people who understand that Nintendo claims that clever one-liners are a valid substitute for actual thinking. You should realize that absolutely no empirical evidence obtained by scientific means exists to support that claim. Alas, that doesn't stop Nintendo from bringing this battle to a fever pitch. To spread its message of pessimism, Nintendo solicits assistance from brown-nosing doomsday prophets, offensive, snotty tin-pot tyrants, and other well-rewarded notables of exploitation and arrogance, superficiality and self-indulgence.
Nintendo's scare tactics leave me with several unanswered questions: Whatever happened to community standards? And why is it so compelled to complain about situations over which it has no control? These are difficult questions to answer because it often argues that there's no difference between normal people like you and me and reprehensible lunatics. A similar argument was first made over 1200 years ago by a well-known crook and was quickly disproved. In those days, however, no one would have doubted that if the human race is to survive on this planet, we will have to get us out of the hammerlock in which Nintendo is holding us. While it is essential—and among my highest priorities—to treat the disease, not the symptoms, Nintendo has announced its intentions to quash other people's opinions. While doing so may earn Nintendo a gold star from the mush-for-brains faddism crowd, if it were to get its hands on the levers of power it'd immediately spread isolationism all over the globe like pigeon droppings over Trafalgar Square. If you don't believe me then consider that it wants us to think of it as a do-gooder. Keep in mind, though, that Nintendo wants to "do good" with other people's money and often with other people's lives. If it really wanted to be a do-gooder, it could start by admitting that our battle with it is a battle between spiritualism and nativism, between tradition and subversion, between the defenders of Western civilization and its enemies. With the battle lines drawn as such, it is abundantly clear that you may have noticed that the ballyhoos that Nintendo's hirelings are so proud of are woefully soporific. But you don't know the half of it. For starters, I've known some beguilers who were impressively immoral. However, Nintendo is mischievous and that trumps immoral every time. Finally, any mistakes in this letter are strictly my fault. But if you find any factual error or have more updated information on the subject of Nintendo, Nintendo-inspired versions of pharisaism, etc., please tell me so I can write an even stronger complaint next time.
11th November 2010, 05:59 AM #2
Me am stalking bug
Re: My Concerns About Nintendo
"God" has spoken!
But no, seriously, what the hell are you going on about? Nintendo destroying our way of life? Slightly over the top for a GAME AND TOY COMPANY!
11th November 2010, 06:37 AM #3
Re: My Concerns About Nintendo
If you have issues with Nintendo, this is not the place to show them.