Thread: Insane Pokémon Fact Entries

There are plenty of absurd Pokemon fact files in the games, anime, and TCG, I'm pretty sure.

For example, this is an Pokedex entry for Machamp (from FireRed, though I believe I've seen it somewhere else before):
"Its four ruggedly developed arms can launch a flurry of 1,000 punches in just two seconds." Take a moment to think over this one. Try throwing a punch. Sure, Machamp may have four arms, but two seconds? Nahhhhhh. I mean, it's insane, that's an exaggeration larger than Prima/Lorelei's you-know-whats.

Does anyone else have any similarly outrageous Dex(or fact file things) entries to share? I'm pretty sure there are a lot more of those out there. Try to point out Poké "facts," ones that would be approved by the Poke professors, not mere bragging by some character in the anime about his or her Monster.

And by an outrageous fact, I don't mean, for example: "[Magmar is] Found near the mouth of a volcano. This fire-breather's body temperature is nearly 2,200 degrees Fahrenheit," because that is somewhat plausible in the Poke world. After all, Pokémon are "strange, mysterious creatures of the planet." As strange as they are though, I'm sure none should be able to throw 1000 punches in 2 secs.

There's one, I think it's Alakazam, that claims it was formed by wizards combining.

And speaking of Alakazam, IQ of 5000? Yeah right.

Hey, Alakazam uses its psychic powers to hold its head up because its muscles are too weak. It is has a thorough memory of everything that has occurred in the world.

Ponyta can leap tall buildings in a single bound. It's like the Superman Pokemon.

The whole Zam line is filled with weird facts. O_O

Kadabra-Emerald:

"It is rumored that a boy with psychic abilities suddenly transformed into Kadabra while he was assisting research into extrasensory powers."

Or Firered's depiction:

"It happened one morning - a boy with extrasensory powers awoke in bed transformed into Kadabra."

Originally Posted by GSC Junkie

The whole Zam line is filled with weird facts. O_O

Kadabra-Emerald:

"It is rumored that a boy with psychic abilities suddenly transformed into Kadabra while he was assisting research into extrasensory powers."

Or Firered's depiction:

"It happened one morning - a boy with extrasensory powers awoke in bed transformed into Kadabra."

Too many random ideas just came into my head.
'congratulations- your son evolved into kadabra!'
all you have to do now is give him away and, hey presto! your son's the smartest guy in school thanks to his unrealistically high IQ!

One I just found is graveler's ruby dex entrie-
'This pokemon eats its way through a ton of rocks on a daily basis.'
remember this thing only weighs 230lbs- HOW can it eat through 1 ton a day?!

Ok, this isn't absurd, but it is ridiculously awesome.

Jigglypuff on Sapphire: "When this Pokémon sings, it never pauses to breathe. If it is in a battle against an opponent that does not easily fall asleep, Jigglypuff cannot breathe, endangering its life."

Jigglypuff suddenly seems like a much darker concept for a Pokemon.

Whismur:
Usually, its cries are like quiet murmurs. If frightened, it shrieks at the same volume as a jet plane.

It is impossible for something so small to be so loud >:@

We're talking about a world where creatures breath fire, summon storms (rain dance), control lightning, and shapeshift into pretty much anything...

...and you complain about a small creature making a lot of noise?

Realism in pokemon never so much flew out of the window as never got to the building in the first place.

This is probably way scarier than insane:

Drifloon:

Diamond: "A Pokémon formed by the spirits of people and Pokémon. It loves damp, humid seasons. "

Pearl: "It tugs on the hands of children to steal them away. However, it gets pulled around instead."

Empoleon

It swims as fast as a jet boat. The edges of its wings are sharp and can slice apart drifting ice

The cutting ice with its wings isn't that outrageous but swimming at speeds equal to a jet boat!? They are ambigious, if they mean a jet ENGINED boat, then there is no way in hell that thing will go 180+ mph.

If they mean this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jetboat. Then it's a little more reasonable. I mean there are real animals that can swim over 40 mph (The sailfish for one).

Still find it a little hard that skarmory, with its steel body can fly up to 180MPH

"Despite being clad entirely in iron-hard armor, it flies at speed of over 180 mph." mow how would something in iron-hard armor be able to fly like that? We have jetplanes that can, but still

Victreebel: It pools in its mouth a fluid with a honeylike scent, which is really an acid that dissolves anything. (DP Dex entry)

Acids can't dissolve everything...and even if they did, how would Victreebel hold this buff acid? Though the statement is sort of made to sound exaggerated.

"Rocks are Graveler's favorite food. This Pokémon will climb a mountain from the base to the summit, crunchingly feasting on rocks all the while. Upon reaching the peak, it rolls back down to the bottom." Maybe Graveler eat each other.

Stadium: "[Ponyta are] Capable of jumping over the Eiffel Tower in a single giant leap. Its hooves are ten times harder than diamonds." Wow.

Stadium 2, interesting: "If the tail-biting Shellder is thrown off in a harsh battle, it reverts to being an ordinary Slowpoke." Referring to Slowbro. It be cool seeing this happen in the anime or something. Does this count as a devolution?

Originally Posted by Gohansan

One I just found is graveler's ruby dex entrie-
'This pokemon eats its way through a ton of rocks on a daily basis.'
remember this thing only weighs 230lbs- HOW can it eat through 1 ton a day?!

The main problem here is that Pokemon in general weigh far too little. Although actually, as Gravler is about 200 Kg/m^3, it's really not at all bad by Pokemon standards. Still.

Originally Posted by Dr. Ookido

"Rocks are Graveler's favorite food. This Pokémon will climb a mountain from the base to the summit, crunchingly feasting on rocks all the while. Upon reaching the peak, it rolls back down to the bottom." Maybe Graveler eat each other.

I just had to do it. Poorly.

Originally Posted by Dr. Ookido

Stadium: "[Ponyta are] Capable of jumping over the Eiffel Tower in a single giant leap. Its hooves are ten times harder than diamonds." Wow.

Omg are you serious? I thought some of the facts were odd or farfetchd' (bad pun) but this is just hilarious.

Not so much insane, but kind of creepy.

"Its cries sound like incantations. Those hearing it are tormented by headaches and hallucinations." – Mismagius card

"It blooms during times of strong sunlight. It tries to make up for everything it endured as a bud." – Cherrim card

"The small ball holds the nutrients needed for evolution. Apparently, it is very sweet and tasty." – Cherubi card
This Pokémon just gets creepier and creepier...HEY GUYS, LET'S RIP OFF ITS SMALLER, SHRIVELED SELF AND EAT IT!