Corrupt a Wish v2

Granted, your wish to wish because you can wish causes a paradox that destroys the universe.

I wish I could travel through time.

Granted. You can travel at a speed of one hour per 60 minutes.

I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish... [BSoD]

Granted Granted Granted....

ERROR PROCESSING YOUR WISH. PLEASE REBOOT.

I wish the Dallas Cowboys will perform better so they will stop losing so much.

Granted but no they moved to Portland

I wish I had the power to fly

Granted. You fly in an airplane that is experiencing extreme turbulence, and crash into a wasteland with no food or supplies, and starve to death.

I wish for a knife.

Granted but it's a plastic butter knife without a handle.

I wish my socks didn't have so many damn holes in them.

Granted but now your socks are on fire

I wish I had Laser Vision

Granted. Someone shines a laser in your eyes. You now have laser vision, and are blind.

I wish for a bow.

Granted but you have no arrows

I wish for a Sword

Granted, but it's bent.

I wish I had a hair accessory.

Granted but now you have no hair

I wish I had a Dagger

Granted, but it has two blades and no handles. How do you hold it?

I wish I had awesome.

Granted, but then you die ):

I wish I had a Tardis

Granted but it's only a convention replica that doesn't go anywhere.

I wish the new episodes for stuff didn;t take so long

Granted. They are now thrown together so fast, viewers get confused and lose interest, and the series is cancelled.

I wish the paparazzi profession doesn't exist. Celebs shouldn't have their daily activities displayed for the world to see.