Re: A Wish on Freedom- Part 1 Chapter 7
Tsutarja: Thanks a lot for your feedback :D Don't worry, we will be getting to the festival, but there are going to have to be obstacles along the way ;) We will see more of the farm people, and it will really make you hate them even more :P But I'm really glad you like the story and characters :D
FH: Thanks so much :D I didn't think the idea was going to work whilst I wrote the first chapters, but I'm glad that Chapter Seven was able to come through. I can't have Edmund die, as I need him to return in later chapters.
And I'm gay, so writing about Andrew is much easier for me :P And the fact that it is meant to be showing Victoria's love-from-a-distance more and his developing crush: I'm not intending to start fanservice or shipping! :p But we do see some more of that sort of thing during Part 2 ;)
Yes, Victoria should have done something. But she has been trapped on this farm for two years, and has seen lots of other people suffer from a distance. She had never gone there before or seen that sort of thing happen, so she was petrified about it. It was also meant to be an added incentive for her to run away after seeing the true horrors of the farm. And its fine you took a while: your feedback is very appreciated :D
If anyone else wants to give this a review, feel free :D
Re: A Wish on Freedom- Part 1 Chapter 7
I like this story. It has a dark nature and some language, which I don't always appreciate, but it's very deep and intriguing. I like how you take a real topic and merge it in with the Pokemon world. Finally, slavery is a touchy subject, but you've managed to make something readable and even enjoyable. I must comment on your lack of grammar mistakes. Your writing is impeccable. I hope to continue reading this story a while.
P.S. If you'd like to check out my fan-fic, it's in the siggy. :spin:
Re: A Wish on Freedom- Part 1 Chapter 7
Part Two: The Voyage of the Johto Jewel
As well as being one of the biggest industrial centres of the Johto region, Olivine City was a major tourist attraction for those that could afford it. Many people would travel here to enjoy the most beautiful golden sandy beaches in the region, smell the wonderful aroma wafting from the sparkling blue ocean, and made for a very popular family outing with large hilly grasslands around the area providing perfect picnic spots. A large market was held every Saturday, and people would make a journey just to buy some of the best fruit, vegetables, furnishings, jewellery and other luxury items.
Olivine offered another major attraction for the rich: boats.
The majority of Johto was landlocked, and the places around water couldn’t accommodate a boating population. Olivine had fixed this issue for the region, building the largest port system any city had ever held. A huge wooden and concrete dock was created, with enough space to moor around one hundred different boats. Boats of different shapes and sizes had soon filled the waters, and people came across the region just to have a look at all the fantastic vessels floating before their eyes, even if they were a long way off from owning them.
Asides from being able to handle all of these boats, another part of the Olivine Port was attracting major international attention. Two cruise ship docks had been built, along with a small ferry terminal, and magnificent ships were now beginning to come into port. Around twelve cruise ships had docked at Olivine since the opening, and the city’s residents were amazed at the sheer beauty these vessels brought. The luxurious liners were the object of many people’s imaginations, wondering what happened inside the hundreds of rooms, what the food, entertainment, experience was like. Much smaller ferries were able to go between regions, but the cruise liners were the things you wanted to go on if you had the money: they were big, they were beautiful, they were simply amazing.
Chapter Eight: Decisions
The sun had only just risen by the time the train arrived in Olivine. A golden orange tinge was painted across the sky as the day slowly began, reflected magnificently in the water below. The steam engine hauling the many vans and trucks began to slow down upon entering the city, a thin column of smoke and steam mixing with that coming from the chimney stacks of the surrounding houses. The railway lines cut right through the quaint little stone cottages, and many people already going to work stopped on their front doorsteps and watched as the line of trucks curved slowly through the city.
It was a five minute journey to get from the city entrance to the port, where the train curved and pulled up alongside a low platform. The fresh smell of sea air instantly struck the driver and fireman as they stepped out of the cab, watching as Mantyke and Mantine skirted across the surface, moving in between the numerous yachts and vessels obscuring their path. After a moment of staring at the beautiful boats, the crew left to go and sign in at the nearby office, leaving the workers to unload their vans shortly.
As soon as they were out of the way, Victoria, Gwenda, Andrew and Millicent piled out of their broken van.
It had been a few hours since they had escaped from Miltank Meadows: the train had to go down a steep hill, meaning it would have to go slowly to avoid getting out of control. All four of them were very stiff from their battle with the Parrish’s, landing in the van and then having to stay there for all that time, so they took a quick moment to stretch their limbs. Victoria’s heart was racing at a mile a minute: she was free… for the first time in years, she was free…. She smelt the fresh sea air, watched the Mantine soaring above the boats, took in the suns golden reflection… she was free! Victoria looked over at Gwenda, who was beaming brightly, staring wide eyed at the sea like a little child.
“This is just…” Gwenda began to say, but she was too speechless to say anything else. Victoria could only nod: the feeling rushing through her body couldn’t be put into words. It was a sort of happiness she hadn’t felt since her parents had been murdered. They had left Miltank Meadows behind, and she was now here by the ocean for the first time in her life. The smell, the sights, the sounds… it was a lot to take in! Victoria was tempted to rush forwards and leap into the ocean when someone coughed behind her.
“So, what’s the big plan now?” Andrew grumbled as he walked forwards, also staring at the ocean but without the same joy and happiness the girls had. Millicent was leaning against a van, rummaging through it look for food. “We’ve escaped and all, and that’s great, but where are we going to from here?” Victoria felt the smile fall off her face, and she her gaze full upon the filthy ground they were standing on. They hadn’t but much planning into what would happen after they escaped. Of course they would be going to Hoenn, but Victoria hadn’t thought about how they’d get there: all their attention had been towards how they would escape.
Now that Andrew had said it, the situation they were in suddenly dawned on her. Their only possessions were the clothes on their backs, hedge clippers, and Victoria’s book, hand mirror and the articles on the Star Festival. There was no way they’d be able to get to Hoenn using just these things, but if they remained in Johto, there was a chance that Edmund or The Minder would find them and kill them: they did know about a bunch of slaves hidden from public eye, and that wouldn’t do well for business. For now, they would be trapped in this port, unable to carry on towards Hoenn…
“Way to ruin our mood!” Gwenda huffed at Andrew, glaring at him with her arms crossed, shooting him the nastiest of looks.
“Hey, I’m just being realistic, thanks!” Andrew snapped back. “I thought you guys would have planned things out properly before you left!”
“We had a decent escape plan, didn’t we!” Gwenda shouted back, ignoring as Millicent threw a suitcase out of the van.
“Oh don’t get me started on that!” Andrew growled. “We were nearly killed, and we’ve just made Edmund angry with us! This plan is just awful, and –”
“Be quiet you two!” Victoria hissed, suddenly scurrying forwards. Gwenda and Andrew shot one last glare at each other before seeing what Victoria was doing: she was grabbing items from the suitcase Millicent had discarded which had burst open upon impact. A number of large flowing dresses and suits in varying sizes had been packed tightly inside but were now strewn across the concrete, becoming dirty and damaged. Andrew examined a fine tie whilst Gwenda picked up a fancy hat and tried it on, staring at her reflecting in a broken hand mirror lying discarded on the ground. But Victoria was ignoring the clothes for now, and instead had gone for four large pieces of paper that were sticking out of a coat pocket: they were very fine to touch and had been delicately written on in thin black ink, and Victoria knew at once that these were very fancy. The text written on each of them was nearly identical, and Victoria read the first one with interest:
The following ticket allows for ONE ADULT to ride onboard the Johto Jewel ferry, departing from Olivine City Port, Johto, at nine’ o’clock in the morning of May the 11th 1910, on a return trip to Slateport City, Hoenn , arriving at approximately ten’ o’clock in the evening of May the 15th, 1910.
The ticket allows for ONE ADULT to stay in Room 4B of the Johto Jewel and enjoy breakfast, lunch and dinner in the dining hall, the nightly entertainment and enjoy the leisure’s onboard for no additional cost.
Authorised: March 1st 1910
Victoria felt her excitement rise up again, and she nearly squealed excitedly in delight. She stifled the noise, but Andrew and Gwenda both looked curiously down at her, still examining some of the clothes that had fallen out.
“There are four tickets here!” Victoria explained, leaping up and twirling around excitedly. “There is a ship called the Johto Jewel heading to Hoenn today – this morning in fact!” Gwenda’s jaw dropped and Andrew’s eyes bulged in shock: even Millicent looked up curiously, the remnants of a bag of fruit lying by her feet.
“OH MY GOSH!” Gwenda squealed, and she and Victoria hugged each other, unable to contain their excitement any longer. “This means we can get to Hoenn!” The two squealed and delight and spun around happily, not noticing as Andrew bent towards the suitcase with a curious look on his face, not sharing in their happiness.
“Where do this the ship dock?” Andrew asked, and Victoria saw he had pulled a piece of paper out from the suitcase and unfolded it: it was a yellowed map of the Hoenn region, with several points marked in red ink, along with a number of different spots circled and notes scribbled here and there.
“Looks like someone was going on a trip,” Gwenda muttered.
“Slateport City,” Victoria said, checking the ticket and than the map. Gwenda pointed one of the most southern regions of the map: a large harbour city located right next to a beach. “And than we have to go to Lilycove City for the Star Festival,” and Andrew pointed at a north eastern city on the map, a considerably smaller city nearly on the opposite side of the region past a forest. Victoria’s happiness temporarily deflated as she took in how far about the two places were, but than gasped and pointed to the top of the map as her eyes scanned looking for a route. “There’s a railway line! All we have to do is get onboard and then we can get to Lilycove from there!”
“That’s a good plan, but we’d still have to walk all the way there,” Andrew said gravely, and traced his finger from Slateport City up along a twisting route, through another city, over a desert region before arriving at the station. “And how do you plan on us getting onboard this ship anyway?”
“We have the tickets, and we have clothes!” Gwenda said, ignoring Andrew’s negativity and grabbing handfuls of the outfits. “I think a family was going to go on holiday. Their luggage must have gone ahead without them…”
“Too bad for them then,” Victoria laughed, and dumped her book and hand mirror into the suitcase: her mind was clearly made up.
“We’re going to steal these people’s tickets and luggage?” Andrew said with a frown and folded his arms. Victoria turned on him, her eyes narrowing and her joy quickly fading from her face.
“I’m sick of you questioning us!” She snapped. “If you don’t want to come with us than go back to Miltank Meadows, I’m sure they’d be so willing to allow you to continue live there as if nothing happened! But I’m going to Hoenn, and if that means stealing some rich people’s clothes, than so be it! I’m going to the Star Festival and I don’t care what I have to do to get there, but I don’t need you holding us back!” And she grabbed the suitcase and passed a pink dress to Gwenda, who happily examined her reflection in the water. Andrew followed her with his eyes, and he saw several workers around a boat nearby, giving them shifty looks. It must look odd for two black girls and a Miltank to be rummaging through trucks, and Andrew didn’t want anyone to come and investigate. And he knew catching the ship was the best thing they could do, even if it was technically stealing. He had no intention of going back to Miltank Meadows, and was rather interested by what the Star Festival could do for them.
“Fine!” Andrew said with a sigh, and he grabbed a shirt out of the trunk. Victoria felt her happiness triple and she looked up into his handsome face: finally, a chance to be close to him. As an image of them standing on the deck, drinking wine and staring romantically into each other’s eyes formed in her had, a soft clunking noise sounded at her feet: Victoria looked down as several different Apricorn Balls rolled noisily around her feet, having fallen out of the latest dress she had picked up. Victoria bent down and picked them up, wondering what interesting Pokemon were held inside, but pressing the buttons revealed they were simply empty.
“Maybe the family were planning on capturing some rare Pokemon?” Andrew suggested as Gwenda walked over, practically hugging her new dress.
“Probably…” Victoria mumbled, her attention more focused towards Millicent: the Miltank was hungrily scoffing down the fruit, not noticing as Victoria raised the empty Heavy Ball up, a grin forming on her face: a plan was beginning to form… a plan to make things for them a lot easier. “You two better get ready: we have a boat to catch!”
A loud whistle echoed through the port at exactly one minute to nine: the Johto Jewel was ready to depart for its journey to Hoenn.
The boat was a cross between a ferry and a cruise ship: it wasn’t tall enough to be one of the luxurious liners, yet it wasn’t small or weak enough to be considered a ferry. The Johto Jewel could be seen as simply a mixture of the two. With a gleaming black hull, polished wooden deck and blue with white trimming for the main body, the boat sat at a rather comfortable size as it sent smoke rising slowly into the sky. It was still luxurious for its size, and the majority of passengers were onboard already, ready to set sail for their adventure with a glass of drink in their hands, all of them wearing fabulous suits and gowns. A small crowd of local people were staring up at it from the port, watching the majestic metal beast with awe, still not quite used to having this vessels in their backyards. A long gangplank was attached between the boat and pier, with an attendant waiting at each end to greet and help the passengers, but they were ready to pull it up: most of the passengers were onboard, and if any hadn’t got on yet, there time was quickly fading away.
“Wait!” A shout sounded from across the pier, just as the attendant on the pier had been about to move the gangplank away. The Olivinians turned around as a white boy wearing a thick black suit and two black girls, dressed in elegant nearly identical pink dresses, sprinted forwards, their feet echoing on the thick concrete pier. Several of them scowled and muttered between themselves, and the attendant looked rather stunned.
“So sorry, we were held up at the Pokemon Center,” the white man explained, puffing as he passed over several tickets. The attendant quickly examined them, his eyes narrowing as he shot the two black girls a look, clearly mistrusting of them and not approving of this group. However, everything seemed legitimate, and he couldn’t turn them away.
“Hurry up,” the attendant grunted, and the younger man smiled and accepted his tickets, before rushing up the gangplank and onto the ship, the two black girls behind him, ignoring another look from the attendant at top. With no one else in sight, the attendant grabbed the gangplank and pushed it up, allowing the second attendant to pull it up and attached it to the side of the boat. A few minutes later, the piercing whistle sounded again, and the people on the ground clapped and cheered as the Johto Jewel pulled away and began to push through the water, ready to head for Hoenn.
Watching from the deck, waving to the crowds with all the other passengers, Victoria, Gwenda and Andrew could barely contain their grins as they watched Johto creeping further away from them: they had escaped, and were now free as they headed towards Hoenn. Even getting shot a foul look from the attendant couldn’t dampen their spirits, and the three were laughing and beaming, on a strong high of happiness.
“I can’t believe we’ve pulled this off!” Gwenda squealed excitedly, dancing with joy.
“I was so sure the guy would send us away!” Victoria said, her smile as wide as it could possible be. She and Gwenda let out a happy yell and wrapped their arms around each other, leaping around in a circle and causing Andrew to laugh even louder, even them a few glares through several elderly women that were walking past.
“I guess I should take our luggage to our room,” Andrew said, wiping tears away from his eyes, “than I think we should have a look at the facilities this ship has to offer!”
“I’ll come too, I can’t wait to see what beds we have!” Gwenda said, practically yelling and ran off ahead, grabbing one of the suitcases and causing the elderly ladies to scoff. Andrew laughed again and glanced towards Victoria.
“Do you want to come too?”
“Give me a moment,” Victoria replied, and Andrew nodded, walking slowly off. Victoria turned back towards Johto, which was getting smaller and smaller with each movement through the waves: Lucifer’s Cage was barely visible from this distance, the top of the roof poking out over the top of the hedge. Victoria pulled a Heavy Ball out from the dress pocket and clutched it hard in her hands, a tear streaming down her now sullen and angry face.
“I’m going to find Jirachi,” She whispered to fading region, “I’m going to find it, and I’m going to make you suffer for everything you’ve done for us.” Wiping the tear away, Victoria turned and walked with her head hung high towards her cabin, a new found determination swelling inside her as she began to plot her revenge
Re: A Wish on Freedom- Part 2 Chapter 8
It was a nice chapter, though I kinda find it silly how they randomly found four tickets for the ship to Slateport. I guess they were lucky, but things would be interesting is there were, let's say, only two tickets and they had to decide who was going to come along. Or perhaps they would try to bring in a blind passenger? Now, I'm not going to complain. I'm glad they're finally heading to Hoenn, keep ti up! :D
Re: A Wish on Freedom- Part 2 Chapter 8
I couldn't have any of them stay behind, that would be rather unfair and kind of defeat their adventure: a trio is better than a duo! Being in the luggage seemed easier than having them sneak onboard, and it allows me to explore racial tension on the boat as they are able to wander around it freely without hiding out after sneaking in onboard. But I appreciate the feedback and glad you enjoyed it anyway :D
Re: A Wish on Freedom- Part 2 Chapter 8
Chapter Nine: Anger
“EDMUND, STOP IT! STOP IT! NO, STOP!”
The screaming and shouting echoed inside the large living space. It was usually a rather nice room, with fine wooden benches and chairs covered in bright handmade blankets, placed around a small bookshelf, a table of knickknacks and a wooden piano placed against the wall. The yellow walls were lit up by several gas lamps placed neatly around the wall, casting a pleasant warm glow around the room. A fireplace was situated in the far corner, and the warming heat that came from it usually made it seem like a typical family room, where you could sit down with a book or spend time bonding.
In the last five minutes, it had completely changed.
Edmund Parrish stood in the middle of the room, breathing deeply and angrily. The wreckage of his rage lay around him, the once wholesome family room destroyed. One of the wooden benches had been snapped cleanly in two, lying next to overthrown bookcase. The table of knickknacks had been flipped over, and the small collectables that hadn’t shattered at this had been thrown violently around the room. Several of the lamps had been shattered, and most of the blankets had been thrown into the fire, causing the room to become stifling hot as the fire grew and raged behind its bracket.
Victor and Marvin were standing by the doorway, having watched the destruction with wide eyes but had done nothing to stop it. Victor’s skin was red and raw following being in the fire, but he hadn’t been severely burnt as it was Pokemon fire, which couldn’t cause as harm to humans as it did to Pokemon. The Minder was sitting in a chair next to them, his head wrapped in bandages and a cushion placed over his stomach. His cane and whip rested besides him, the latter’s tip still covered in blood from striking nearly all the slaves only a few minutes before. Grace was the final person in the room, but she wasn’t standing like the men: the mother of the household lay bruised and bleeding on one of the chairs, tears streaming down her face. She was tenderly clutching her ribs and stomach, and anyone who walked in would think she had just gone up against a boxer. Neither her sons nor The Minder bothered to help her or had tried to stop her beating, simply watching as Edmund vented his anger.
It was easy, in the minds of his sons and The Minder, to understand why Edmund was so angry. For the first time in about fifteen years, a slave had escaped. Not just one, but three. They had thwarted him, caused damage to himself and his property, and had taken one of his Miltank with him. A sheet of metal had been attached to the hole in the hedge, surrounded by a semi circle of burnt grass that left an ugly, insulting reminder about what had happened only a few hours ago. Edmund felt humiliated and embarrassed: never before had a slave successfully outsmarted him, escaped him, beaten him. What if it caused a boost in morale? What if others tried to escape before the wall was fixed? The Minder had whipped halve the slaves towards bleeding point, but Edmund wouldn’t be surprised if they were already whispering amongst themselves, planning their own way to escape.
However, this wasn’t the main reason why Edmund was mad.
For fifteen years Edmund had been running this farm, and for fifteen years he had kept his slaves hidden away, just like his father had for years before him, and his grandfather before that. It was a family secret: some may see it as a dark, horrible way to run a farm but it was necessary for the Parrish’s. In order to make a profit from the large amount of stock they had, and enjoy the money that made, the Parrish’s had found that slavery was the best option for them: it gave them good publicity when they adopted the poor little orphans, and they had free labour until the slave died. Never in all this time had anyone found out about them. People presumed that the slaves were well treated, had good accommodation in the fabulous farmhouse, and were sent on their merry way when they reached eighteen. More companies and businesses brought from Miltank Meadows as they see it as a friendly, community supportive farm and that they would benefit from supporting them by buying their products. Edmund couldn’t bare to think about what would happen if they discovered what really happened behind their high, brick enforced hedge… if they knew the true horrors hidden inside Lucifer’s Cage.
Grace’s sobbing broke the tense silence in the room, and Edmund turned to her, his head spinning and not just from his injuries sustained. He watched as his wife held a handkerchief to her lip, which was turning the white silk red, whimpering into it as she clutched her ribs. Edmund didn’t feel bad for what he had done: she was too nice to the slaves, probably giving them hope that he had been trying to crush out. And Grace should be use to his violence by now, he had been doing it for years.
“Go clean yourself up,” Edmund hissed coldly. Grace shot him a furious look through her bloodshot, bruised and teary eyes, before getting unsteadily to her feet and hobbling off, shooting her sons and The Minder a nasty look as she went. Edmund turned and watched her leave, and than turned towards his sons. Victor and Marvin had exchanged looks after their mother left, but turned their attention fully back towards their father.
“Go and let the slaves out,” Edmund commanded. “Stand guard by the hole, and if you see them so much as look at each other, don’t be afraid to use the spare whips on them, alright?”
“Yes Father,” Marvin said slowly, while Victor simply nodded, still in pain from the previous night. The two boys turned and left the house, and Edmund fell silent once again, listening as Grace’s loud sobbing sounded through the door she had left open.
“I hope you will give me a few hours to rest before sending me back to work,” The Minder grunted, breaking the tense and angry silence. “I’m not how I used to be: just whipping them before was tiring enough. I’ll definitely need a lie down for a few hours, but than I-”
“You’ll be lying down for a few days,” Edmund said in his deep voice. The Minder stopped talking and stared at his boss with a puzzled look: Edmund had always wanted him to keep on working, even when he injured his leg. What had changed? “You need to rest if you are too initiate the plan I have.”
“Plan?” The Minder asked, his curiosity growing, and Edmund simply nodded, staring towards the roaring fire behind him.
“I can’t let our secret get out,” He hissed. “If those slaves have any brains, they’ll probably be trying to expose us, possibly contacting the police as we speak. But I doubt they would do that.”
“They were smart enough to break out of here,” The Minder reminded Edmund, who turned back around, his thick face twisted in anger.
“I am well aware of that!” He hissed, breathing deeply. “But they have also been shut away from the outside world for many years. They probably want to enjoy their freedom, try and escape the farm and put their lives behind them. That is why I think they could be fleeing Johto, or at least getting as far away from here as possible. I believe they escaped on a train heading south towards Olivine. I want you to go and find out if anyone saw two black girls and a white boy hanging around, and see where they went to.”
“You want me to bring them back before they reveal our dirty little secret,” The Minder said, nodding as he understood the plan, and Edmund nodded, his face going back into a look of general moodiness. “I suppose you want them alive so you can kill them yourself?” The Minder asked as he stood up, wincing slightly in pain. At
this, Edmund began to laugh, the sound deep but cold. He smiled at his slave watcher, flashing his fang like yellow teeth.
“If you have to kill them, than do so. I’d prefer to kill them myself, but I guess they could be tricky little mites. However, I do want their bodies brought back to me,” Edmund explained, still beaming broadly. “I want to put their heads on the wall of the silo, as a reminder to anyone who dares to test us again.” The Minder’s aging face twisted into a smile as well, and he reached into his pocket and pulled out three Level Balls.
“I have the Pokemon I will need in order to find them,” He explained, clutching them tightly. Edmund merely nodded, and the Minder took the silence as a cue to leave. He wanted to get the slaves just as much as Edmund: he hated being injured and outsmarted, and wanted to make sure Victoria, Gwenda and Andrew pay for the embarrassing, injuring and undermining him.
“I expect you to leave within two days, though by the end of tomorrow will be preferable,” Edmund said. The Minder nodded, grabbing his whip and cane as he put his Level Balls back and hobbled towards the door. Edmund watched him go, before sitting down in one of the few undamaged chairs left in the middle of all the wreckage, staring back towards the blazing fire. The Minder would get the job down, and all of Edmund’s worries would disappear. The three slaves would be brought back to him, preferably alive, so Edmund could murder them himself. He wanted to see their eyes turned a misty grey, hear their last breath, laugh as the other slaves watched in terror. Edmund tilted back in his chair and smiled to himself: his life would remain simple, and he secret would remain hidden. There was nothing for him to worry about.
The slaves would be dead within days.
Re: A Wish on Freedom- Part 2 Chapter 9
Poor Grace. ;_;
So I guess this means The Minder will go after the three of them? Too bad they have already boarded on the ship though. Unless he has a flying type? :O Anyway, looking forward to the next chapter! ^^
Re: A Wish on Freedom- Part 1 Chapter 5
I love this! I'm glad I found it! And I'm glad that someone else had a similar idea such as racism in the pokemon universe.
Such a daring concept that it's really just fantastic.
Re: A Wish on Freedom- Part 2 Chapter 9
Nice thoughts Tsutarja, though Im not revealing anything ;)
And glad you liked it Caberet. I look forward to discuss our ideas :)
Re: A Wish on Freedom- Part 2 Chapter 9
From just reading chapter nine, I liked it.
I read the beginning page to find out what the fic was about and it came out clearly in your story, so a good job on that.
I must commend you on your ability to write. The way you conduct the sentences are really interesting. There not those simple structured sentences that are boring and reptitive. I also like how you use those little things they teach in school that spice up writing, things such as groups of three;
There are small moments where maybe you might have rushed it and you sort of lost out in rhythm and meaning;
successfully outsmarted him, escaped him, beaten him
It'd be better in my opinion if it was; which couldn't cause as much harm to humans as it did to Pokemon.
which couldn’t cause as harm to humans as it did to Pokemon
Also nice ending, simple sentence but equally affective, making the reader want to read the next chapter.
It's a good chapter lengthwise and an interesting topic. No spelling mistakes I could find so good work and keep it up, which I don't think I have the authority to say since your really good and I'm new to this fic writing xD
Re: A Wish on Freedom- Part 2 Chapter 9
I finally caught up again.
I'm glad that Victoria, Gwenda and Andrew managed to leave Johto safely but now I'm worried about the Minder actually finding them. Though really if Edmund knows that they won't expose his secret out why not just let them escape, what's a couple of slaves whose names he didn't even know about to begin with gonna cost him?
Re: A Wish on Freedom- Part 2 Chapter 9
Chapter Ten: Cruising
For nearly twenty four hours, the lives of the escaped slaves were peaceful.
After spending many years trapped behind the brick, hedge covered walls, being beaten and starved and having as little freedom and as doomed a fate as the Pokemon they cared for, all three of them were in good need of rest, relaxation and having a little bit of fun and freedom And fortunately for them, their rooms on the Johto Jewel seemed to be tailored just for them.
They were in adjacent rooms due to the family tickets they had stolen, so Victoria and Gwenda slept in one room and Andrew in the other. It was a huge change from sleeping in the cramped and disgusting Lucifer’s Cage: their beds were big and soft, allowing them to sink into them with pleasure and wrap up in the fine silk blankets and thick warm woollen sheets. The rooms were about the same size as each of the rooms at Lucifer’s Cage, and all three of them were taken aback by the huge space they now had at their disposal. The walls were white with blue stripes, and photos from the ships construction hang on a wall, giving it a loving, caring feeling. There was a shared bathroom, and they each had a ten minute shower to actually enjoy clean, warm water in private, and then experience a proper toilet compared to a long drop they had been forced to use as slaves.
The three then ventured out to examine the facilities the ship had to offer them. After being made to eat stale food and scraps from the Parrish’s meals, the food provided for them on the ship was outstanding. Hot bread with spreads, a large amount of fruit, home baked delights and baked Magikarp and Remoraid were just some of the food available for lunch, and they scoffed it down with multiple glasses of sparkling water, earning them glares for other passengers as they made a bit of a spectacle in their enjoyment. The room itself was magnificent: it had a high ceiling with a mural of water Pokemon dancing around the crystal chandelier, and the red velvet carpet was covered in nearly a hundred circular, white clothed tables in neat little rows.
The only other main feature the ship had was a large swimming at the bow, and Victoria, Gwenda and Andrew were quick to purchase some swimming costumes from the onboard shop in order to enjoy the crystal clear warm water. It was just like being in a gigantic bath tub, and the three splashed and played around for nearly two hours, enjoying the feel of the water and remembering their swimming lessons as children, before retreating inside for dinner. Roast meat, warm vegetables and luxurious chocolate deserts tasted like heaven in their mouths, and other people onboard the ship sneered at the three of them as they scoffed their food down in an animalistic manner, clearly enjoying the meal more than most people would.
“Frankly, I couldn’t give a damn about what those rich snobs think of us!” Gwenda boomed as they walked down the red velvet carpeted corridor, a little bit too much of the complementary wine down her throat. “We can do whatever we want, this is our time, isn’t it guys? ‘Cause we’re finally FREEEEEE!” She sang, and Andrew was in near hysterics as he clamped a hand over her mouth to silence her.
“She’s had way too much too drink,” he giggled, stumbling slightly as he held onto her.
“You don’t look that great either sunshine,” Victoria laughed, and Andrew simply giggled as he nearly lost his footing again. Victoria sighed and unlocked their door and led the two of them in. As Victoria turned a lamp on, Gwenda and Andrew began to laugh very loudly at the picture of the boat’s construction, and Victoria gently led them both to their beds. Gwenda went out like a light as soon as her head touched the pillow, her snores causing Andrew to enter into another fit of giggles.
“Come on you, it’s time for you to go to bed,” Victoria said as she struggled to pull his heavy body of muscle through their adjoining door and into his own room. Andrew simply giggled and didn’t do anything to help, and Victoria grouchily just dropped him onto his bed.
“Why don’t you sleep here tonight, I’ll be much better company than Giggly Gwenda, wont I?” Andrew slurred, and than began to laugh himself. Victoria felt a flutter of affection around her heart, and for a moment was tempted to say yes. But Andrew looked unwell, and the bed was only single anyway.
“Thanks for the offer, but maybe another time, alright?” Victoria said soothingly. Andrew nodded and climbed under the sheets, still wearing the suit he had worn onto the boat. Victoria watched him for a few moments as he dozed off to sleep, and than pulled the covers up to his neck and patted his head soothingly. With a final look at his handsome sleeping face, Victoria headed back into her own room and took her dress off, having to resort to sleeping in her underwear from the day. She climbed under the covers and turned the lamp off, and tried to fall to sleep.
Unfortunately, Victoria’s mind was flooded with rage.
Since leaving Johto behind, Victoria had not been able to stop thinking about the farm, and every time she thought of it, anger pulsed through her. She knew very well that Edmund and the Minder would have punished the other slaves for their actions, using their chance at freedom as an excuse to horribly abuse the others. She could imagine their screams as they whipped until bleeding, and than their cries as they were starved, tortured and made to keep working non stop. This feeling of guilt was torturing here, and Victoria was tempted to go back just to stop them from being hurt.
It’s all their fault, Victoria thought acidly, and the thick faces of Edmund, Victor and Marvin swam before her eyes, accompanied by the laughing but aged face of the Minder. They have hurt us, tortured us and treated us like filth. If I ever see one of them again, I will make sure they feel the same pain they inflicted on us. As silent tears streamed down her face and onto the silk pillows, Victoria began to plot ways to get revenge on them, some elaborate, some realistic but still undoable, others plain out hilarious. But these thoughts made Victoria even more determined to get to Lilycove City for the Star Festival. Jirachi would grant their wishes, and she would make everything better…
When Andrew and Gwenda woke up the next morning, the two of them had to fight over the bathroom as they violently threw up over the fine white toilet. Pretending to have rested well after plotting for the entire night, Victoria simply ignored them as she examined a small brochure from her bedside table. She felt very full as well, and Victoria couldn’t remember the last time she had eaten such a lovely feast. But she was very glad she hadn’t taken any of the wine, as the sounds from the bathroom were not pleasant.
“It says that they are selling dresses and other fine outfits at the shop as well,” Victoria explained loudly over the retching. “I think I’ll leave you two in peace and use some of the money to get some new clothes, yes?” Gwenda gave a thumbs-up out the door, and Victoria smiled and quickly went off to buy their new clothes. The shop was only two corridors down and was thankfully already open. Wearing one a cosy white dressing gown that came with the room, Victoria walked calmly into the store, not wanting to attract too much attention as she headed for the dresses.
“May I help you madam?” A crisp voice said, and Victoria looked up to see a young white woman with long blonde hair smiling in a rather forced sense at her.
“Oh no, I’m fine,” Victoria replied sweetly. “There was a bit of an accident with our luggage, lost some of our clothes,” she explained, still annoyed that most of the clothes in the suitcases had been too small or too big for them. The attendant simply nodded and headed back towards the counter, but Victoria could feel her eyes on the back of her head as she selected the cheapest, plainest pink sundresses for her and Gwenda, and than some crisp white shirts and brown shorts for Andrew. The way the woman was glaring at Victoria was rather intimidating, and she couldn’t help but wonder what she had done to earn such nasty looks: was browsing through the underwear section somehow insulting to the woman?
“Just these thanks,” Victoria said after only five minutes, passing the clothes over, which now contained some large sunhats and several changes of underwear. The cruise ship thankfully didn’t charge their customers very much money, and Victoria was glad to still have a bit of their stolen fortune left as the attendant pushed the clothes back at her at the end of the transaction.
“You may leave now,” the woman said quickly, and Victoria was taken aback at the rude way she was being treated.
“Thanks,” Victoria said in a hiss like voice, and the woman’s eyes narrowed viciously as Victoria turned and marched out of the store. All the way back to her room Victoria tried to work out what she had down to offend the woman, and remembered getting nasty looks from people on the deck the previous day. Did these people somehow know Victoria, Gwenda and Andrew were ex-slaves? Were they going to be judged for the horrific lives they had been forced to live? Victoria tried to push these negative thoughts away, but they lingered in the back of her mind as she pushed their door open.
“Thank god, I’ve got sick all down my dress!” Gwenda cried as soon as Victoria walked in and grabbed one of the dresses and some underwear. As she ran into the bathroom, Andrew emerged, looking rather pale and very sick.
“I’m going have to force my breakfast down,” he said with a weak smile. “Thanks for getting us these, it’s a real help.”
“No problem,” Victoria said with a beam, and watched him with admiration as he took his clothes into the next room, half wishing he would get changed in her view. Giggling to herself at the idea, Victoria new changes of underwear on and got her new dress ready. Once they all looked decent, marks of drunkenness and illness disguised by crisp new clothing, the three quickly headed down the elegant corridor and down towards the dining room, ready for another delicious breakfast.
“I sure hope there’s bacon, I loved to smell it when the Parrish’s had it,” Victoria said as her stomach gave a loud rumble.
“Sounds like your very desperate for it,” Gwenda laughed, and the two girls laughed loudly down the corridor, still in hysterics as they entered the room.
“Calm down you two, we’re getting looks,” Andrew warned, though he was trying not to laugh either as they moved towards an empty table. Victoria glanced around at the faces watching them, and her laughter quickly died as she was stared down by the people onboard. There was not a single happy face staring back at them, and Victoria felt a chill go down her back as she realised not a single black face was amongst the pallet of white either. The people were all wearing looks similar to that of the shop attendant, and Victoria couldn’t help but feel disgusting, almost sick as they walked, wondering what she had done wrong.
“I feel like these people know something about us,” Victoria whispered as they sat down at a table only a few feet away from the doors. The deckt hey had stood on when they arrived was beautifully polished and the wooden floorboards were shining in the early morning sun. It was such a beautiful view, but Victoria still felt horrible as she saw more nasty looks directed at them.
“Your right, they are all staring at us,” Gwenda huffed. “They should paint a picture, it’ll last longer,” and she pulled a face at the elderly couple nearest them. They looked highly offended and looked down at their plates, muttering too each other.
“Don’t antagonise them,” Andrew said softly, and Gwenda simply stuck her nose in the air and imitated how the elderly lady was cutting up her bacon. Victoria and Andrew both laughed, but even as she looked down at the menu, Victoria could feel the eyes on the back of their heads, hear the nasty whispers that were coming her way.
“I just don’t want you to cause a scene,” Andrew explained as he signalled for a waiter, however they all seemed to avert their eyes as his hand went up. “I want to just enjoy these days on the ship before I get thrown into whatever deranged plans you two have planned for me in Hoenn! I’ve had a hard past few years, and frankly I just want some peace and quiet!”
“That’s fair enough, I guess,” Gwenda replied with a forced sigh, and than reached out and pinched Andrew’s cheek. “Don’t worry darling, I’m sure nothing else is going to go wrong.” Andrew pulled a face back at her, and Victoria laughed and stared back out through the doors. A cool breeze was coming in that left Victoria feeling rather relaxed, and she then noticed a large shadow moving across. For a moment Victoria thought it was a cloud, their perfect sunny day about to be ruined by a storm. But the shadow wasn’t moving away: it was getting larger, coming closer to the dock at an alarming rate. She glanced out of the doors and gasped, making the others jump.
“Something’s falling from the sky!” She screamed. Andrew and Gwenda leapt up, but they were shoved against the table as waiters and fellow passengers shoved past them, all racing to see what was falling.
“Rude!” Gwenda growled, and she clambered onto their table in order to see over the heads. Victoria and Andrew quickly copied, getting to their feet as something silver descended past their eyes, crashing into the deck with a ringing sound and setting off a chorus of gasps.
“Skaaar… Skaaaar… Skaaar!” The injured body of a Skarmory lay before the passengers, letting off it’s sad cry as many people rushed forwards to help it. Victoria was stunned as well for the injured bird, but as she stared towards it, she noticed it’s eyes were glancing towards her. The beady black eyes were alive with a malice and wickedness that didn’t match the flying type’s desperate cry.
“That thing is staring at me,” Victoria mumbled to the others, and than noticed something else: a bundle of black entangled on its back, now being rescued by several waiters. “What’s that on its back? It looks like a... person…” Victoria said, and Andrew and Gwenda craned their neck, trying to see what it was. The person was muttering to all the people around them, their silver hair reflected in the sunlight. The person turned their head to face the rest of the crowd, a wide smile upon their face.
In an instant, Victoria, Gwenda and Andrew were off their table, sprinting across the dining room. They didn’t pause, they didn’t look back, they didn’t even speak to each other. Fear was running through their blood now, and it seemed to give them the extra adrenaline rush needed to get out of their as fast as possible. Victoria’s mind was clouded and spinning, unable to comprehend what had happened, and she dropped her key to their room as her entire body began to shake. But she quickly grabbed it and unlocked the door, collapsing onto her bed as soon as she got in. Out of breath, in fear and completely surprised, she glanced at the other two to see they had similar reactions on their face, what they had just seen playing through their minds.
The Minder was now onboard the Johto Jewel.
Re: A Wish on Freedom- Part 2 Chapter 10
Wow the Miner sure got there fast actually though I wonder whether he's better than what the other passengers would've done to them out of racism. But really how did he get there so fast especially since it had barely been one day.
Anyway I hope to see how Gwenda, Victoria and Andrew will be able to come out of this or maybe they'll jump off the boat or something.
Re: A Wish on Freedom- Part 2 Chapter 10
Well, in the games you can Fly from one place to another in about three seconds: frankly, he was pretty slow by their standards :P Don't worry, it'll be explained in the next chapter.
And about the above comments: Thanks for the response Millie, I appreciate it :) And its more of a pride thing SFH, but that will be elaborated on.
Re: A Wish on Freedom- Part 2 Chapter 10
Ooh, interesting chapter. And yes, Minder did get there rather quickly. I wonder how they'll escape from him ...
Keep it up! =D