Lol, it destroyed another team in a full sweep all by itself.
Last edited by Thundagere; 30th August 2010 at 10:46 AM.
Made by Blue Dragon!
Level of darkness: 16/20
Being a dark fic, this one was quite angsty and prickly with emotion as you kept reading through, full of things that just seem wrong, like Boss' lack of sympathy for anything and the murder of various characters.
Even the scene after the end of the story was riddled with emotion. Although I guess that's not specifically to do with darkness, but you do show how hardened Brains is after the whole incident.
Throughout the story, you make the people into real people, with their emotions showing at every turn - especially Brains, the protagonist.
One slightly weak point in the story. It didn't really seem to go anywhere that wasn't separate of your exploration of Brains' character. But, again, I can't really blame you for that, because the plot is really just a vehicle for moving the characters forward in this story.
It's strange, though - my stories are usually the exact opposite - I only give them character so that they can advance the plot forward.
Grammar, style, and flow: 7/10
The present tense makes the story feel just a little clumsy.
Overall rating: 76/100
Once again, like in Rival's Story, the plot can't affect the rating too much, simply because the story isn't about the plot - the plot is just a vehicle to bring the rest of the story forward.
The word "quadragonal" is the only word with "dragon" in it where "dragon" is not a root word. That makes it awesome.
I've finally read this, and I have to say, I can't believe I didn't sooner. This is one of the best things I've read, and, in my opinion, your best work.
Although it's true that there's not much of a plot, the characters more than make up for it. The nagging doubt in Brains' personality just really does it for me.
You also do very well with description- enough to help me imagine the different locales, not enough to drown me with it, and you stuck to the important things. But it is true that the individual Pokémon could've done with some description of their own. Other than that, spot-on.
I really, really liked it.
wow! I just finished reading this and it's just plain awesome :) keep up the good work :P
Very good G.Mama, and a great conclusion. Poor Red =(