That Shelf

Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: That Shelf

  1. #1
    Born from Fire Fox311's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Los Angeles


    That Shelf- By Fox

    Lost in self-pity.
    Lost in loathe for self.
    Looking at my past,
    Sitting on that shelf.

    Everything I've done,
    Everything I am,
    Is sitting on that shelf,
    Knowing it's all a sham.

    Fake is my love for you,
    Fake is the only truth,
    things I have accomplished,
    are as fake as a gold tooth.

    Things upon that shelf,
    are reflections of who I'm not,
    The fake me who tries to smile,
    is the one who is always sought.

    I'm lost,
    I'm fake,
    there's nothing.
    "I'm"sitting on that shelf,
    but am I who I know I'm not?
    "It's only funny until you get hurt.....then it's HILARIOUS!"

  2. #2
    Like the Memory of a Kiss Kurai's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Away from all of this


    [Split by moi. Please make separate threads for separate works. ]

    Btw, your rhyming is good in your poetry, but you need to work on the flow of your rhythm some. In poems with short lines like yours, you should have a unifying "tempo" to how the lines read. Rhythm just adds a certain passion to reading it.

    And don't think I'm dissing your poetry! I enjoyed both poems (albeit how different their topics may seem to be), and encourage you to write more.

    -=: [rose.iii] -=:=- [the.kuraitenshi] -=:=- [those.things.with.wings] :=-

    i'll believe all your lies, just pretend you love me
    make believe, close your eyes
    i'll be anything for you


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts