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  1. #106
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by swampert_rox View Post
    He said its a game mechanic error, not anime... And in chapter 18, the story says that it was Oak who gave him the S.S. Ticket.
    Oh right, I meant to say that Bill gave it to Blue under Oak's instructions in the chapter where he gave it. My bad if I didn't, I can't truly be bothered to check.

    And I'm sorry, but that wasn't the game mechanics error I was referring to. Basically, in FRLG Charmander cannot learn Smoke Screen before evolution, so the only way Blue's Charmander would have been able to use Smoke Screen as early as it did would have been if Blue had had it sent to Hoenn, where it could have learned it and then gotten it back and since he didn't do that, it couldn't really have that move. It's a really small thing that doesn't really matter, but it did bug me, so I just thought I'd point out that I didn't screw it up.

    And Tyranitar's right about the anime style battles, that's how I prefer to write, a turn based system works when you're playing a game (in fact, if you're playing a game that's damn near the best way to have a battle) but if you're describing a story it lacks something.

    Quote Originally Posted by SSJ3_Raditz View Post
    I read everything in one sitting like I did with Legacy's fic.

    I like the fic a lot though.
    I meant to say this before but I forgot, I'm honoured to be treated on the same level as Legacy. I've only read a few chapters of his fic myself, but apparently he's something of a legend around here.

    Anyway, as always, thanks for your comments everyone, I'll try to have another chapter up in a few days, just as long as my internet doesn't have other ideas.

  2. #107
    Inactive swampert_rox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    I just started Legacy's fic, so far I think RS is better. *subscribes*
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  3. #108
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by swampert_rox View Post
    I just started Legacy's fic, so far I think RS is better. *subscribes*
    Wow, thank you very much. I love compliments! XD

    Anyhoo, here's another chapter, folks, enjoy!

    This chapter might seem a little pointless, but it's very relevant in the long run, so hopefully you guys won't find it too boring!

    Chapter 23

    The first thing Blue did after beating Surge was stick Magikarp back in the PC, there was no way he was going to be caught relying on that piece of crap again, its face off against Surge’s Voltorb was an embarrassment and a disheartening start to an incredible Gym battle. The second thing Blue did was use his well earned TM to teach Shock Wave to Kadabra, he considered it compensation for Kadabra, the Pokémon he was considering dropping from the team and yet was the only way he was able to beat Surge’s Voltorb. After these formalities were taken care of, Blue healed his Pokémon and left the Pokémon Center, he spared a thought for Jeff, he hoped he hadn’t broken his spirits too much, but he also hoped he had broken them enough so that he’d never have to see the kid again. Now that Blue had earned the Gym Badge of Vermilion City, the next thing on his to do list was to attend the party on the S.S. Anne, a special treat which Oak had reserved for him and, for once, not Red! Blue was looking forward to some down time, but was also hoping that there’d be some serious Pokémon Trainers on board, so he could make sure he stayed sharp.

    Blue boarded the ship and paid careful attention to the time it was due to be leaving, he didn’t want to be taken away with the ship to God knows where, he had Badges to get, he’d stay for the party, go bother the Captain of the ship to teach his Pokémon Cut and that would be that. When Blue arrived at the party, he couldn’t help but feel a little bit under dressed, everyone was wearing suits and evening dresses, while he was wearing a polo shirt and combat trousers. Blue tried mixing with the other guests, but no one was interested in talking to him, a couple of them recognised him as Oak’s grandson and insisted on asking him about his grandfather’s research and why Oak himself did not attend, but Blue was even less interested in talking to these people than the high and mighty people were in talking to him.

    Blue wandered around the ship looking for the Captain, so that one of his Pokémon could learn Cut and he could leave the ship as soon as possible, but he accidentally found his way to the deck of the ship, where he could see the whole of Vermilion City. It was a nice view. Blue sat down for a couple of minutes before he stood up to go and look for the captain again when a sailor walked over to him.

    “Hey there, kid,” said the sailor, “What brings you here?”
    “My grandfather, Professor Oak, was invited to this party, but he didn’t want to go,” explained Blue for the hundredth time this evening, “So he gave me the ticket, but I wish I hadn’t come, I couldn’t feel more out of place.”
    “Ha, I know how you feel,” answered the sailor, “I’ve been working on this ship for years and I hate it when they have these parties. Usually people on the ship are eager to talk to us sailors, but at these parties they just look down on us, that’s why we hang out on the deck rather than inside, like usual.”
    “Wow, that must suck,” responded Blue, “What’s your name?”
    “I’m Sailor Maxwell!” answered the sailor, apparently called Sailor Maxwell.
    “Another person with a title?” exclaimed Blue, “What is it with people and giving themselves titles?”
    “All right then, fine,” conceded Sailor Maxwell, “Just call me Maxwell then!”
    “You don’t wanna be a sailor any more?” teased Blue.
    “No, I love being a sailor!” exclaimed Maxwell defensively, “What do you do?”
    “I don’t have a job,” retorted Blue, “I travel Kanto beating people in Pokémon battles and taking money from them.”
    “Huh,” answered Maxwell, “That’s actually pretty cool, what’s your name, kid?”
    “Blue,” stated Blue simply.
    “Blue?!” exclaimed Maxwell, “That’s not a name! That’s a colour! I can’t believe you made fun of me being called ‘Sailor Maxwell’!”
    “You wanna put your Pokémon where your mouth is, buddy?” challenged Blue.
    “By all means,” smiled Maxwell.

    Maxwell began by sending out a Machop, Blue didn’t think it looked very strong, so he sent out his Rattata, despite its obvious type disadvantage because he wanted it to evolve.

    “Low Kick!” ordered Maxwell.
    “Hyper Fang!” ordered Blue.

    Rattata dived forwards and sank its fangs, still chipped from the battle with Misty, into Machop’s foot as it swung towards him and, as Blue predicted, Rattata’s power was superior, causing Machop to fall to the ground in pain. Rattata used Hyper Fang a few more times and Machop soon fainted, which annoyed Blue. This guy’s Pokémon wasn’t even strong enough to make Rattata evolve when it was right on the brink of doing so!

    “You better have another Pokémon,” spat Blue.
    “I do, I do,” answered Maxwell, “I’ve still got my starter to come!”
    “Alright, let’s make this worth my while,” retorted Blue.

    Maxwell’s next Pokémon was a Wartortle. Blue stopped in shock for a moment, he knew there was more than one Wartortle in the world, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that this might be Oak’s last Pokémon. Red had taken Bulbasaur, Blue took Charmander, meaning Squirtle was the last one remaining – and that evolved into Wartortle! Well, it didn’t really matter, all that mattered was beating this guy and taking some of his hard earned wages so that Blue could afford the next meal.

    “Rattata!” shouted Blue, “Hyper Fang again!”
    “Rapid Spin!” ordered Maxwell.

    Blue had a horrible flashback to his battle with Misty where Rattata had chipped his tooth – the attack he had lost it to was a Rapid Spin, and he’d gone into it using Hyper Fang… Things didn’t look good. Wartortle retreated into its shell and span at full speed at Rattata’s face, knocking its other front tooth clean out of its mouth.

    “No!” cried Blue, he couldn’t believe his Pokémon was being so badly injured, he wasn’t sure it would ever be able to battle again.

    Fortunately, Wartortle’s Rapid Spin was not as effective as Starmie’s and it stopped spinning after flying past Rattata, perhaps the ongoing Rapid Spin was a technique that Misty had put special efforts into teaching her Pokémon.

    “Bite!” ordered Maxwell.

    Blue thought for a second, leaving Rattata to get bitten without any instructions, something wasn’t right. Rapid Spin and Bite weren’t moves that Wartortle usually learned until after it evolved into a Blastoise… This guy had been holding off evolution – Wartortle was a higher level than he thought! While Blue was still thinking, Wartortle managed to land a second Bite, when suddenly, becoming frustrated at its lack of instruction, Rattata attempted to fight back using its nearly toothless mouth, only to get smacked back by a point blank Tackle attack. Rattata was knocked onto its side when, suddenly, it started glowing with the white light that Blue knew and loved.

    Rattata grew to twice his height, developed a much thicker, brown fur and, most importantly, grew four massive teeth in the front of its mouth, its teeth were good as new!

    “Hyper Fang” yelled Blue.

    Raticate immediately obeyed and sank its teeth into Wartortle’s arm. Raticate continued its onslaught until Wartortle eventually gave in and fainted, Blue won the battle and managed to do it without a single casualty.

    Maxwell begrudgingly gave Blue the prize money and a horn sounded, audible throughout the ship. Maxwell announced that that meant the party was over, so it was time for him to go and do some mopping up as the ship was about to leave. Blue couldn’t believe he had let himself lose track of time and, after instructions from Maxwell on how to get there, sprinted off towards the Captain’s quarters so that one of his Pokémon could finally learn Cut.

    Blue opened up the door to the Captain’s quarters, but couldn’t see the Captain anywhere. He walked around the room for a while, checking to see if the Captain had left the machine to teach Cut lying around anywhere, that way he wouldn’t have to waste his time talking to the guy. Then Blue saw it, an old man on his knees with his head on a bin. Suddenly, the man began spluttering and throwing up into a bin.

    “H-hello?” said the Captain, “Who’s there?”
    “Uh, I was wondering,” asked Blue hesitantly, “Could you possibly teach one of my Pokémon Cut?”
    “Yes, yes,” answered the Captain hurriedly, “Only, I’m a little sea sick at the moment, could you rub my back first?”

    Blue hesitated, he wasn’t sure about rubbing a grown man’s back, he wasn’t sure why, but it seemed wrong some how. Blue approached the man, so that he could decide whether it was a good idea or not, when he suddenly continued throwing up violently.

    “No way!” shouted Blue, absolutely disgusted with what he saw coming out of the Captain’s mouth, “Get away from me!”

    Blue ran out of the Captain’s quarters as fast as he could, he ran down the corridor towards the exit of the S.S. Anne – he didn’t want to learn Cut that badly. As Blue ran down the corridor, he caught sight of something he had seen too many times on his journey already – Red.

    Blue's Team: Charmeleon, Pidgeotto, Raticate, Kadabra
    Blue’s Box: Metapod, Beedrill, Meowth, Bellsprout, Magikarp
    Blue's Pokédex: 14 Caught, 39 Seen
    Blue’s Badges: 3

  4. #109
    Vegitarian Caffeine Free's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Exellent chapter. i read mast of this fan fic tonight but i am still curious to know why blue decides to train his magikarp. coughredhasonecough. just an idea
    Poptarts and milk. :3 Yummm.
    Diamond FC is: 1033-9547-5106, use for all trades and battles in gen IV.
    White FC is: 1592-4476-9385, all trades for gen V.

  5. #110
    I shot a god Ryuutakeshi's Avatar Social Media Editor
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Huh, so I wonder where Gyrados comes from. And Blue doesn't get cut. Didn't see that coming. But I guess he can find a way. Betcha he just goes out onto Silence Bridge and misses the Snorlax.

    Evil Figment (7:59:44 PM): Ryuu, however shakily you started, I've got to hand it to you that you earned my respect the hard way.

  6. #111
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Pointless?Hardly,as it helps build the anticipation for the Red battle ;D
    *Worried Look*That is next chapter,right?

  7. #112
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryuutakesh! View Post
    Huh, so I wonder where Gyrados comes from. And Blue doesn't get cut. Didn't see that coming. But I guess he can find a way. Betcha he just goes out onto Silence Bridge and misses the Snorlax.
    That's the second time you've seriously impressed me with your guesses. Not spot on, but it's definitely in the right direction and I'm not saying any more than that.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Golden Tyranitar View Post
    Pointless?Hardly,as it helps build the anticipation for the Red battle ;D
    *Worried Look*That is next chapter,right?

    Yes, of course =]


    Incidentally, people, could you do me a favour and (if you haven't entered yourself) read and rate the stories on this competition? Oneshot Contest Entries - Voting begins now! One of them is mine, obviously, as it's an anonymous contest I can't tell you which in the interests of fairness and if you do somehow figure out which is mine, please don't show me any favouritism. I'll put the link in my sig as well, thanks people!

  8. #113
    Inactive swampert_rox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Not as good a chapter as some of the others, but good none the less.
    Swampert_rox



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  9. #114
    Registered User woops's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by Gastlys Mama View Post
    Oneshot Contest Entries - Voting begins now! One of them is mine, obviously, as it's an anonymous contest I can't tell you which in the interests of fairness and if you do somehow figure out which is mine, please don't show me any favouritism. I'll put the link in my sig as well, thanks people!
    I really wish someone would. I would but I sorta... Entered.

  10. #115
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by swampert_rox View Post
    Not as good a chapter as some of the others, but good none the less.
    Thank you for the review anyway! It'll be a Red chapter next time, so hopefully that'll be a bit better!

    Quote Originally Posted by The Meme-er View Post
    I really wish someone would. I would but I sorta... Entered.
    Yeah, I noticed you did - which, incidentally makes you my rival! =P

    I don't think anyone else who reads this entered though.

    I'm sure one or two people will review but with disallowing authors from reviewing, I don't imagine very many people will.

  11. #116
    I shot a god Ryuutakeshi's Avatar Social Media Editor
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    I was thinking of entering, but maybe next time.

    I'm glad I was close in my guess. I've begun to notice something of a pattern in your story, namely that Blue always seems to bypass the obstacles that stopped Red or he sets them up himself. Since he doesn't have cut, it was only logical.

    Evil Figment (7:59:44 PM): Ryuu, however shakily you started, I've got to hand it to you that you earned my respect the hard way.

  12. #117
    Inactive swampert_rox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Otherwise how would Red have such bad luck? And BTW, I suggest that you put a link to each chapter in the first post.
    Last edited by swampert_rox; 21st October 2009 at 08:05 PM.
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    I'm trying to review,but its taking one hell of a long time.
    But I think I know which is yours though ;D

  14. #119
    Let's get funky! Gama's Avatar Former Head Administrator
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Quote Originally Posted by swampert_rox View Post
    Otherwise how would Red have such bad luck? And BTW, I suggest that you put a link to each chapter in the first post.
    Good idea! It's done!

    Quote Originally Posted by The Golden Tyranitar View Post
    I'm trying to review,but its taking one hell of a long time.
    But I think I know which is yours though ;D
    Ooh, interesting, I'd like to hear what your thought is, but don't tell me until the competition is closed because if you get any confirmation then that'll be unfair to the other contestants seeing as you're a fan of my fic =P
    Oh, and, I'm sure you wouldn't anyway, but don't show favouritism even if you think you know which is mine, thank you!

    Anyhoo, here is another chapter!

    Chapter 24

    Blue couldn’t believe this, but on the other hand, it was totally predictable. Once again, something Blue had thought a special gift from his grandfather to him was bestowed equally upon Red. Blue couldn’t help but wonder what Red had done to become so special in Oak’s life, surely Blue was more of a charity case? Sure, Red’s father left when he was still a baby, but his mother was still around, both of Blue’s parents died when he was still too young to remember them and one of them was Oak’s own son! The more Blue thought about the more furious he became and the more determined he became to knock the stupid grin off of Red’s moronic face.

    “Hey Blue,” greeted Red, continuing to grin like a buffoon, probably still ecstatic that he had come out on top in their last battle, “Fancy seeing you here.”
    “Red!” exclaimed Blue in anger.
    “Truth be told, I’m not really enjoying this as much as I thought I would,” confided Red.
    Rather than trying to connect with Red and admit that he too was not enjoying himself, Blue instead used this opportunity to antagonise Red, “What are you, seasick?”
    “No, it’s just everyone here wants to battle,” explained Red, “And I just want to get my third Badge!”

    Blue was ecstatic. He had beaten Red to getting the Thunder Badge, that was excellent news. Blue thought about antagonising him about that, but then he reconsidered, Red finding out by seeing Blue’s name on the Winning Trainers section would be far more insulting than Blue simply telling him.

    “You should shape up, pal!” said Blue simply, grabbing a Poké Ball from his belt.

    Their battles no longer needed introductions, they both knew by now that every time they saw each other they were going to battle, they were true rivals, not just some kids who called each other rivals then just shook hands and went their separate ways when they bumped into each other or worse still, teamed up to fight a common foe. Blue hated Red, he wanted nothing more than to better him in every way possible and every single battle they had was a stepping stone to Red’s total humiliation. Red had won their most recent battle, but it was still 2-1 to Blue, and Blue intended to keep his lead.

    Blue considered what Pokémon he was going to send out first, checking Red’s belt as he did so. Red now had four Pokémon, Blue no longer had the number advantage, this wasn’t good, Red had managed to beat him even without the number advantage. However Blue had a better idea of Red’s team now – his two strongest Pokémon were Pikachu and Bulbasaur. Both Kadabra and Charmeleon had a type advantage against Bulbasaur, so that wasn’t much of a worry, but Pikachu’s type advantage over Pidgeotto had resulted in a chilling defeat before. That settled it, Blue would send out his first Pokémon before Red sent out his and he’d choose Pidgeotto, in an effort to draw out Red’s Pikachu.

    “Go Pidgeotto!” yelled Blue.

    Red smirked and predictably sent out Pikachu.

    Blue had two choices, he could either retreat Pidgeotto so that he had some vague chance of winning this battle or he could fight this hopeless battle. It seemed like an obvious choice, but Blue’s pride was preventing him from switching out.

    “What’s wrong?” taunted Red, “Why aren’t you giving any orders? Have you given up already?”

    Blue scowled and withdrew Pidgeotto, sending out instead Charmeleon. Charmeleon had not so long ago taken out a Raichu, which was probably a lot stronger than Red’s Pikachu.

    “Oh well that’s just cowardly!” antagonised Red.
    “Charmeleon!” yelled Blue, rising above Red’s insults, “Use Ember!”

    With Red too busy trying to insult Blue to give Pikachu any orders, Charmeleon was able to strike first, catching Pikachu off guard. The attack didn’t do much damage, but as luck would have it, it did succeed in burning Pikachu.

    “Lucky,” sneered Red, to which Blue did not bother responding.

    Blue ordered another Ember, but Red’s Pikachu got in there first with another Thunder Bolt, overall quite a devastating attack, even when it didn’t have a type advantage. Still, all Blue had to do was waste time and he’d be able to beat Pikachu… but he didn’t want to win that way, he still had a few tricks up his sleeve.

    “Metal Claw!” commanded Blue.

    Charmeleon looked uncertain but obediently carried out his trainer’s instructions and hit Pikachu with his steel claws. Pikachu was injured, but hardly.

    “Even your Pokémon knows type alignment better than you, you moron!” attacked Red, “Electric resists Steel!”

    Blue smirked, he was well aware of this, but it was all part of his plan, just so long as Charmeleon could survive long enough to carry out and not forgetting the other variable in his plan… luck. Pikachu ceased its use of Thunder Bolt and began instead to use Quick Attack, Red using the logic that while Charmeleon continued to deal Pikachu hardly any damage, it didn’t need to give Charmeleon that much and instead settled for trying to dizzy it while dealing damage. To Blue this seemed like ridiculous logic, but he was glad Red was using it and he had Charmeleon continue to use Metal Claw.

    “Charmeleon,” called Blue after a while, “Use Scratch!”

    Red was bewildered, he had no idea what his rival was trying to do, Ember was surely his best shot at winning, however it all made sense very soon. Charmeleon used Scratch and it dealt Pikachu and unprecedented amount of damage, almost to the point of knocking it out.

    “Wh- what?” questioned Red.
    “Metal Claw boosted Charmeleon’s attack stat!” boasted Blue.

    Red smirked, now he knew what was going and Pikachu was still just about clinging on to consciousness, he could still turn this around. Then, suddenly, Pikachu gave a weak cough and fell to the ground, KO’d.

    “What now?!” demanded Red.
    “The burn, you idiot!” retorted Blue, “Pikachu was burnt by Charmeleon’s first Ember attack, remember?”

    Red cursed Blue under his breath, but inwardly conceded that he did indeed remember and sent out his next Pokémon. Blue awaited this next Pokémon in eager anticipation, would it be the one he hadn’t seen yet? It surely wouldn’t be Bulbasaur, Red would be a fool to send him into a battle it would surely use, but he might use Rattata.

    “Go! Raticate!” yelled Red, sending out the corresponding Pokémon.

    Blue sighed in disappointment, with Charmeleon’s increased attack stat, this Pokémon will be easy to take care of, since Blue had one himself it was obvious what moves it would have at this level – Tackle, Tail Whip, Quick Attack and Hyper Fang. The best Red could hope to do in this position would be to wear down Charmeleon’s defense with Tail Whip and then strike with a Hyper Fang attack, unfortunately for Red, since Charmeleon’s attack was already maxed out, Raticate wouldn’t have enough time to drop Charmeleon’s defense enough to be able to take it out – this battle was a sure thing.

    “Scratch!” commanded Blue.
    “Dig!” retorted Red, with his familiar grin returning to his face.

    Blue couldn’t believe his ears! How on earth did Red’s Raticate learn Dig while his own had not? Charmeleon dived at Raticate, attempting to Scratch it as Raticate burrowed underground, destroying the flooring on this fancy cruiser. Blue was working himself into a frenzy, furious that even the Raticate population seemed to be showing favouritism to Red, when he snapped out of it, realising that now was not the time to be getting angry, now he needed a strategy.

    “Charmeleon!” shouted Blue, “Be ready! As soon as he surfaces, hit him with a Scratch attack!”

    Charmeleon nodded to indicate that it understood and began looking in every direction in an attempt to predict where Raticate was going to surface, but it was no use, Raticate still managed to come up from behind and Charmeleon didn’t get a chance to use Scratch after all. Instead, Charmeleon was knocked on to its front and before it got a chance to get back onto its feet, Raticate was underground again.

    Things were looking bad, there was no way Charmeleon was going to survive another Dig attack, and it seemed unlikely that Charmeleon would be able to avoid another Dig attack. A sudden evolution at this point would have been really helpful, but Blue knew that wasn’t going to happen, he’d gotten lucky enough with evolutions already and plus, Charmeleon had only just evolved to the stage it was at, it was gonna be a long time before it evolved again. In the end, Blue didn’t have the strength to give Charmeleon any more orders and simply surrendered to inevitability of its defeat.

    Sure enough, before long, Raticate surfaced and hit Charmeleon with all its might, knocking it out and bringing the battle back to level pegging, 1-1.

    Blue thought carefully about his next Pokémon, his choices were Pidgeotto, Kadabra and Raticate. Blue was less than keen to use his Raticate, which was clearly inferior to Red’s, so that left him with a choice between Kadabra and Pidgeotto. Then it hit him, Kadabra’s Shock Wave didn’t require aiming, so if he had Kadabra fire it as soon as Raticate surfaced, it was a sure fire hit – Kadabra actually stood a chance against Raticate!

    Blue's Team: Charmeleon, Pidgeotto, Raticate, Kadabra
    Blue’s Box: Metapod, Beedrill, Meowth, Bellsprout, Magikarp
    Blue's Pokédex: 15 Caught, 40 Seen
    Blue’s Badges: 3
    Last edited by Gama; 22nd October 2009 at 10:02 AM.

  15. #120
    Inactive swampert_rox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rival's Story

    Fantastic, only problem is I still want more! Hurry with the next chapter please, I'm suffering from withdrawl symptoms.. BTW, the links wasn't my idea, got it from Legacy.
    Last edited by swampert_rox; 24th October 2009 at 07:22 AM. Reason: typo
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